I stepped into the Grand Manor belonging to Wáng Zhen Yǔ, My father. The place was just like I remembered it, colorful. Bàba was a lover of plants and trees. He had as much as he could gather. The whole place was littered with lush plants of different varieties, giving the Manor a sanctuary feel.
"Sister" a voice called. I turned, only to see Xiǎo Lì, under a wisteria tree, a thin cigarette in between her lips. Seeing her made my belly churn, I was forcefully reminded of my death.
Breathing in deeply, I walked towards her, gathering courage.
"Smoking in Bàba's yard?" I asked annoyed
"Mnn" she hummed, flicking some of the ashes off the cigar.
"Where's Bàba?" I asked.
"Don't know. Look for him, you have eyes and legs, sadly." she scoffed, dragging in a long amount of smoke, while exhaling it with her nose. I ignored her and went in search of my Bàba. It took me a few minutes to find him on his favorite rocking chair, reading a book. Māma was also in the library, practicing calligraphy.
"My dearest! How are you? Why didn't you inform me of your coming?" He asked, hand outstretched, a cue for an embrace.
"I'm doing well? I missed you and also wanted to surprise you." I embraced him and turned to Māma, she looked at me with a blank look on her face.
"Māma," I said, bowing slightly, looking at her while taking a seat beside Bàba.
"What did you do with your hair?" She noticed.
"A little makeover, I…"
"It's horrible, change it". Of course! I knew it would look horrible to her; I always looked horrible to her.
So long as I looked elegant to myself in new life, I was satisfied. I am all that matters.
"I love it Māma," silence echoed for a while. She dropped her brush. Pure rage filled her eyes. She hated it when I spoke back.
"You really grew some claws in the past month, this should be the last time you refute my words! Change the style!" I wasn't going to back down.
"It's done already. I'll have to go bald to change it"
"Then do it!!" she snapped. I looked at her with a small smile crossing my face.
I would have never spoken to her like that in my previous life. She scared the hell out of me, but not anymore. If I wasn't going to be strong enough to surpass all obstacles then I might as well stay dead.
"Manners, no noise in the library" my Bàba declared, an attempt to call us to order. I looked away from her but I could still feel her cold gaze on me the whole time. It was uncomfortable but I had to establish my voice.
I tried to maintain a good posture and expression, masking my nervousness.
For a few hours, Bàba briefed me on the business market. Things I already knew and the ones unfamiliar. So many words were said in those hours. Soon, it began to deviate from business to politics and from politics to marriage. That was when it got really uncomfortable.
"...About the young man who has caught your eye…when do you plan on bringing him home for inspection?" Bàba asked. Never, that Piànzi was not going to step foot in my life anymore.
"Um…I'm still trying to understand what I feel for him. It's not…"
"Do not piss me off Rong Hua" Māma started. You're twenty eight and you are not getting younger, if the young man is not to your liking, you manage him. After all, you've been dating him for the past two years, were you both playing with time?" Her voice rang across the library. Soon Xiǎo Lì strutted into the library.
"Tomorrow, you'll bring the young man and any family member of his to see us! Understood?" Her words were firm, leaving no room for excuses.
Getting up to leave, Bàba called me aside for a brief conversation.
"I know that the battles in the company are heavy on your shoulders," he started. "I've tried asking your sister to assist you but she is more concerned about herself than anyone else. You know this." he watched for a change in my expression but it remained rigid.
"She's not a lover of business. That's why I want you to get someone who will stay by your side and help you overcome some challenges." I nodded. "The boy... Hào Rán, bring him over, do not go against your mother. She may be ruthless, but she loves you. I know it." No, she doesn't, but I nodded.
If I brought Hào Rán now, would that be the beginning of the future? But what if I declined? It would mean waging war against Māma
"I'll be heading back, Bàba" I said, and he smiled warmly at me.
"You've changed" I understood what he meant and for some reason, I wanted to tell him of my situation. But I laughed it off, to make the situation less awkward.
"Say goodbye to your Māma and sister before leaving" he said, waving a hand at me.
Bàba has been my biggest supporter, he trusted me enough to hand the company to my care. But he had been oblivious to the internal conflict till I died. I still believe it is wise leaving him oblivious, it wasn't time yet.
"Goodbye Māma,"I greeted. Her strokes moved beautifully on the paper and she didn't spare a glance at me.
The cold war between me and Māma began ever since I knew her; I did not expect a truce either.
Going towards my car, I gave a quick glance at the mansion, boarded and drove back to my apartment.
I looked at the people weaving through stalls. Holding hands. Laughing with fine lines enhancing their laughter. The colorful atmosphere under the bright sunlight, I couldn't help but feel alone. Bàba supported me, but there was a limit. Sister cared for herself alone. Māma despised me for no plausible reason. Hào Rán saw me as his ticket to becoming the next CEO and the others around me were just doing their job. How else can someone be more alone? I let out a sad laughter startling Zhen, and closed my eyes, tears threatening to spill, but I blinked them away.
A thought crossed my mind. Would it be wise if I allow Hào Rán have Xiǎo Lì from the beginning and get the problem out my sight already? It didn't sound bad; I just had to be strategic about it. Bringing Hào Rán to my family no longer seemed like a bad idea anymore. I rested my aching body into the car seat and slowly drifted into a sleep I taught I wouldn't be able to.