The first thing I realized after dying was that I didn't have hands. No hands. No legs. Not even a mouth.
Just... sharpness.
Like, existentially sharp.
"Congratulations! You have been reincarnated!" said a cheerful voice in my head.
"Oh, great," I thought, "what am I this time? A hero? A dragon? Maybe a slime?"
"Nope," the voice chimed, "you're a knife."
…
I waited for the punchline. None came.
"Hold up," I said or thought, I guess, since I don't have a mouth "A knife? You mean like... kitchenware? Cut-cut stab-stab knife?"
"Yes!" the voice replied, way too enthusiastically. "A fine-quality iron blade! Congratulations!"
I swear, even though I didn't have eyes, I could feel myself blinking in disbelief.
Okay, so being a knife isn't the worst. I mean, knives are useful. People need knives. But here's the problem: I'm lying in a forest, alone, half-buried in dirt, surrounded by bugs. Not exactly the glory I was hoping for after reincarnation.
A leaf falls on my hilt. That's my life now. I'm a glorified paperweight.
I start to think about my past life. I was an average guy. Played video games, microwaved instant noodles, occasionally daydreamed about being the chosen one. And now? I'm the chosen utensil.
If irony could kill, I'd have sliced myself in half already.
Then, suddenly—Footsteps.
A goblin walks by, scratching its nose, sniffing around. It spots my shiny edge sticking out of the ground. And in that moment, I felt something awaken deep within me—Hope. Purpose. And maybe hunger? Can knives be hungry?
"Pick me up," I whisper internally, "come on, you know you want to. I'm cool. I'm shiny. I'm—"
The goblin sneezes. On me.
On. Me.
Oh, perfect. First day as a weapon and I've already been slimed. I miss being human.
But then—plot twist! The goblin actually picks me up! "Shiny knife!" it grunts. "Good for cutting!"
Yes! Finally! I have a wielder! A new destiny begins! I will carve my name into history!(Assuming I ever find out what my name actually is.)
…The goblin proceeds to use me to chop mushrooms.
So that's it, huh? From average office worker to gourmet cutlery. Reincarnation, my ass.
Still, maybe this is the start of something great. Maybe one day I'll evolve. Become a legendary sword. Or at least a fancy steak knife.
Until then…I'll keep my edge.
Literally.
----
Alright.It's been three days.
Three days since I was picked up by the goblin.Three days since my grand, heroic reincarnation turned into… kitchen duty.
If there were a Nobel Prize for "Most Misused Weapon," I'd have won it by now.
Day 1: Chopped mushrooms.Day 2: Cut wood for campfire.Day 3: Used to scratch goblin's back.
I think I died twice. Spiritually.
Anyway, I've learned a few things about my new existence:
I can "sense" things around me, kind of like knife Wi-Fi.
I can talk telepathically, but apparently only inside my own mind. (Great. Eternal monologue mode.)
I'm weirdly proud of how shiny I am. Like, ridiculously proud.
Don't judge me. When you are a knife, your self-esteem is directly linked to your polish.
Then something unexpected happened.The goblin took me to his tribe.
There were like twenty of them, all arguing about who gets the last potato.(Do goblins even eat potatoes?)
Their chief, a big green guy with a loincloth and too much confidence, stared at me.
"Hm," he grunted. "This blade… feels… weird."
Weird?! Excuse you! I'm a reincarnated human soul forged by cosmic nonsense and sarcasm!Show some respect!
Then he said the words that would change everything:"We name it… Pointy."
…
Pointy.
POINTY.
You could've gone with Shadow Fang, Soul Edge, Blade of Destiny — but no, you went with Pointy.
I can't even be mad. It fits too well.
[Ding!]Name: Pointy has been registered!Unique Skill acquired: "Self-Sharpening Through Emotional Damage."
…Oh, wonderful. I literally get stronger the more my feelings are hurt.I'm the weapon equivalent of a traumatized protagonist.
Anyway, turns out goblin life isn't so bad.They feed me (well, clean me, technically), use me in fights, and occasionally argue about whether I'm cursed or blessed.Spoiler: I'm both.
The best part?I can feel my power growing — just a bit — each time someone insults me.
"Pointy is dull today."
[Sharpness +1]
"This knife bent again."
[Durability +1]
Every roast hones my edge.Emotional pain → physical gain.Who needs therapy when you have passive skill evolution?
And then… one night… it happened.
While the goblins slept, I felt something calling me from deep in the forest.A strange aura. Like… a presence that knew me.
I don't know what it was, but my handle started to hum.If I had a spine, I would've felt chills.
Was it… another reincarnated human?Or just a cursed spoon?
Either way, tomorrow…I'm finding out.
To be continued.