"What should I do now?" I said, taking a glance at the clock. It read 14:23.
I bawled my eyes out for the last four hours that I couldn't cry anymore.
Grr!
Should I eat? It's not like something's going to change when I die.
I got up and washed my face well and dried with some tissues.
Should I change? No need for that, I don't even know where I am going.
I descended the stairs and made it to the kitchen. The same note was lying there just as it was two days before as I started to drink water.
Beep! Beep!
Huh? What's that sound?
Beep! Beep!
I trailed the sound with the glass of water in my hand, and it led me to the telephone in Siku's house. I read the text that was displayed, and there were voicemails.
"They still use these crappy devices? Better listen to it," I said and brought the handset to my ears.
Click!
"Siku, this is your mom speaking. Call me back when you see this voicemail immediately."
I pressed the next button, and the recording continued.
"Siku, where are you? Answer the phone."
Click!
"Siku, I heard that she died. I am sorry I couldn't be there for you."
It's not going to matter, lady.
"Siku, the disaster was way worse; all the roads are blocked. We are trying our best to come back home. Call me back."
"Siku, this is your mom. Are you alright? I saw the news; you are safe, right? Not injured anywhere else? Why are you not picking up my calls? You are giving me fright. Call me immediately, siku, the moment you hear it. We are worried. "
The following messages were almost the same, saying "Siku, call back and respond."
Hmph, guess I was too harsh on them.
"Siku, I got a message from your school that you didn't attend today. What's wrong? Why didn't you go today? Do you know how expensive schooling is? How much does your father— "
I take it back.
Click!
"Hey, Siku, it's me, Arna. I am heading to your house right now, and why are you not picking up the calls, you sly fuck?" I heard Arna's voice, it was crackly, and I held the handset tightly, pressing it into my ear.
"Siku, you aren't at your school yet, it's already lunchtime, idiot. Make it fast."
Wasn't I home at that time? I should have picked it up instead of being cooped up.
"Hello, Siku? Why aren't you at school today? Are you going to come in late? Don't make it a habit, you jerk, but I am disappointed in you. I have come to school after a three-day trip, and now you ghost me, you lazy asshole. Get here fast."
"Siku, I am at the school gate. Where are you? Pick up your phone, you bastard. I called you six times already. I am heading in. Don't freak out if you don't see me, and I made you lunch: your favorite potato and dried fish."
"Dried fish and potato...I want to eat it," I said, my body slumping against the table on its own, and I pounded the table with my fist.
"Damn it, damn it."
Click!
I replayed the audio, listening to her voice one more time, and clicked autoplay.
"She died because of me, didn't she? If I wasn't there, if she faced the earthquake alone, she would have survived. If she just ran, didn't stop to reassure me, and didn't try to help me, she would have been alive. If we were just a few seconds late or early, we would have been alive…just why? Why does she have to die, damn it...why didn't I die? You could have just killed me, but why make me feel hope only for it to die? I believed in you gods, and you proved to me again that you hate me...you showed me again how stupid I am in believing you, damn it. At least give me a reason for why I am going through this...what's my purpose, huh? What should I do? Before I even discover it, something happens first I die, then I get tortured, and now Arna." I said as I let out a loud wail.
Thrrrmm! Thud! Thump!
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
Siku's phone rang, the beep so sharp and loud that I was able to hear it from upstairs.
"Just let me die…just let me stay dead, or at least let me stay alive in the same body without suffering more than a week...just don't hate me...if only she were alive...you took her away...why does everyone hate me?"
The tremble of the ground increased alongside the mobile's beeps; the sirens flared with a PA voice signaling a magnitude of 16.9.
"I love you."
I heard Sis's voice on the telephone from the voicemail and instantly looked at the timing of the message, it showed Zephyr 16th 23:00.
"It's the night before I came here." I snorted and wiped my cheeks, trying to listen intently.
"Siku, we just started. You have gone to bed by now. Wait for me at the gate tomorrow, okay?"
A message from 22:12
"Siku...uhm, you didn't pick up my call. I am kind of scared. Are you okay? Do call me, please...Siku, don't do anything rash. I heard it from my parents, and I am sorry for it. Just don't do anything stupid, okay? I will be there tomorrow...don't you dare die, Siku. I know I told you this, but don't try to die. Dying only makes things worse. You don't know what comes next. It might be the end, or it might not be. And think about the people who care about you. Think about me, you lo- "
Click!
A message from Zephyr on the 15th...she did say the same thing to me, but why to Siku? What happened on the 15th?
I tried to focus and get some memories of Siku into my mind.
"So his grandma died that day, and Siku was suicidal? It seems Siku hurts himself when someone around him suffers."
Sis sure had a lot on her plate.
Click!
"You get me right? You have to live, even if it gets tough, you have to live. You can do it...So don't go try to kill yourself, okay? No matter how hard things get, don't die."
I have to live.
"I love you," the crackly tone of Sis said, and the voicemail ended.
Thrrrmm! Thud! Thump!
"I can do it, can't I? After all, I am Alyss Moreau. I was supposed to be the messiah, but that King tried to pull me into his affairs. I can do it, I need to live…just like Sis said, Don't I have an amazing ability? All I need is to learn to control it. I can do it. I have the powers of a protagonist, a unique ability. All I need is to control it, and I can do it...I need to live on." I said with a new ray of hope.
I love you. Those three words, three words I heard so many times that I lost count. Mom always used to say to me, and Dad too, but not quite as often as Mom, the same words, which I heard day in and day out, caused a stir inside my mind just because of a girl, a girl who I've known for just a day filled me with immense hope and reassured me that everything will be fine, that I have to live, and that I can do it.
Which didn't last long as a slab of the ceiling smashed my foot from the violent tremble of the earthquake
"AAARGGGGG" I screamed, trying to wrench my crushed foot away as the ceiling started to collapse on me, and I got crushed to death.