Chapter 11 The Pain of Farewell and the Secret of the Missing Neer
One month had passed
The first rays of morning filtered through the lattice windows of Tapobhumi courtyard like threads of spun gold But today those threads carried a strange heaviness Margdarshak Vishrayan stood before his hut his face not holding its usual peace but a deep sorrowful gravity as if he was about to perform an unpleasant duty
He rang the bell The slow resonating sound woke the sleeping Tapobhumi
All the disciples gathered Their faces held a strange anticipation the kind that exists between the end of a long journey and the start of a new one
My children Margdarshak Vishrayans voice sounded especially soft and heavy today Today your education here is complete What you have learned is not merely knowledge of the elements but lessons of restraint patience and compassion Tomorrow morning your parents will take you all home
The words hung in the air For a moment there was silence then a slow wave of emotion began to rise
Akshanshs eyes filled with tears instantly He looked at Anvay who stood as calm and still as a stone statue He went to him and without a word hugged him tightly This was no formal embrace It was so tight their bones seemed to creak
Without you Akshanshs voice was muffled his face buried in Anvays shoulder Without you even the air of Nabhgadh will feel empty
Anvay rested his head on Akshanshs shoulder The memory of you will be like the air Unseen but felt every moment
Vedika ran to Sheetal They looked at each other and burst into tears This was not the crying that comes from sorrow but the crying that comes from love breaking apart when two souls are about to separate
You have to promise me Sheetal said between hiccups that you will come to my wedding No matter how far
I promise Vedika said her voice little more than a whisper And you you must come to inaugurate my healing center
Kalpit looked at Aksh His lips held the same sharp smile but today it held a bitterness Listen Aksh Everyone is leaving tomorrow Without you I wont have anyone to tease
Aksh nodded seriously And I wont have anyone to annoy me Maybe maybe Ill miss your mischief
Maybe Kalpit said wiping a tear from the corner of his eye No you definitely will miss it
Prakash watched everyone then turned to Sheetal He said nothing He simply raised his hand and in the air created a small glowing flower of light The flower floated through the air and landed in Sheetals palm then slowly wilted and vanished
We are together Prakash said his voice holding an unshakeable faith The distance will only be of the body not the soul
All said in one voice We are together
But one voice was missing from this chorus All eyes searched Nirag was nowhere to be seen
Agni stood in Margdarshak Vishrayans chamber The past month had changed him Stubble covered his jaw dark circles lay under his eyes and the fire in his eyes had turned to smoke
Margdarshak Agnis voice held a tired desperation Today it has been exactly one month since Neer left You know how much his spiritual energy had eroded If if someone attacked him he would
He could not finish The words caught in his throat
Margdarshak Vishrayan looked at him His eyes held compassion but also an unyielding firmness Neer is safe Agni Do not worry He will return
Return Agnis voice turned sharp Margdarshak I have been searching for him for a month I have scoured every place he could have gone Checked every cave we played in as children He is nowhere And you you know I can see that you know
The Margdarshak closed his eyes Some paths Agni some paths must be walked alone
So you will not help me Agnis voice broke Fine I will find him myself Keep your divine sight to yourself I have a sight too my heart And it is telling me Neer is in danger My respects
He turned and left his steps heavy but with a stubborn determination
Outside the hut in the shadows Nirag stood listening to all of this His face was as impassive as stone He slowly backed away and went to the deserted field behind Tapobhumi from where the expanse of the forest was visible the same place he came to in his worst moments
He drew Sheetapsi The morning light glinted off the blade He stared at it stared at the part of it that was Agnis
Then came the rustle of leaves Anvay stood there
You are here Anvay said his voice as calm as ever
Nirag did not even look at him So what Did you think I would join in those fake farewell hugs
That is not what I meant Nirag
I know what you meant Nirag suddenly turned to look at him His eyes held anger and a deep hurt Look Everyone is leaving You will leave too First Father left now you will leave And I I will remain here As always Alone
Anvay stepped forward and grasped his shoulder I am not leaving Nirag I will not leave until your Father returns And even then I will be your friend From a distance if need be
Nirag shook off his hand Lies Everyone lies They make promises and break them
My promises do not break Anvay said firmly His eyes held the steadfastness of mountains Your Father will return And until he does I am with you I will go now You take care of yourself
Anvay left Nirag stood alone Then slowly his hands went limp Sheetapsi clattered to the ground He sank to his knees and closed his eyes No tears came There was only a numb empty pain as if the fire within him had finally gone out
Everyone leaves he whispered his voice so soft only the ground could hear As always
The next morning Tapobhumi courtyard filled with a strange liveliness Chariots arrived horses neighed colourful robes shone Parents had come to take their children
Vedikas parents the King and Queen of Anandpur hugged her The Queen stroked her daughters hair her eyes moist
Akshansh was embraced tightly by the King of Nabhgadh his father Son you have grown up the King said pride in his voice
Father here I learned not just power but friendship Akshansh said his gaze lifting to Anvay who stood at a distance
Sheetal was wrapped in the shawl of the Queen of Chandrapur her mother just as she had been wrapped as a child My moonlight her mother whispered
Prakashs father the Maharaja of Suryagadh descended from a grand golden chariot He placed a hand on Prakashs shoulder and both their eyes held the same sharp brilliance
And then came Vaayansh and Dharaaya Anvays parents Vaayansh looked at Anvay and a smile bloomed on his face like a flower opening in the wind Dharaaya hugged her son and her fingers on his shoulder trembled slightly
You have truly become a warrior Dharaaya said her voice choked
Mother Father Anvay said I I cannot come now
Both looked at him in surprise
Nirag his father is missing He is alone I cannot leave him alone
Vaayansh and Dharaaya looked at each other A silent conversation passed between them Then Vaayansh nodded Alright son We understand Until Neer returns you stay here We are proud of you
But all eyes were fixed in one direction No one had come for Nirag No chariot no horse no parents
Nirag was watching all this from his hut window He watched how Anvays parents hugged him how Akshansh shared a laugh with his father His fists clenched He turned away from the window
Below Anvay looked up He saw Nirag at the window He raised his hand A small gesture I am here
Nirag did not look back
Far away in that same mountain cave Neer sat But he was not the Neer who had come here a month ago His clothes once the colour of the sky had now darkened to a deep shadowy blue turning black at the edges like paper burning from the sides
Before him lay the same damru black stone with the faces of a celestial and a Tamansh A subtle black energy was seeping from the damru waving through the air and going straight to Neers heart where it was absorbed Each time this happened Neers body gave a slight shudder his pupils dilated and a wave of terrible pain crossed his face
But his eyes were closed And behind those closed eyes a fierce resolve burned a resolve stronger than the pain
Margdarshak Vishrayan sat in his chamber He suddenly opened his eyes His breathing had quickened He placed a hand over his heart
Neer he whispered his voice holding a fear born of centuries of knowledge The path you have chosen it will consume not only your soul but the souls of countless futures Do you truly know what you are doing Do you know the true price of this Chhaya Damru It does not buy your memories It buys your self
He closed his eyes a single tear tracing its way down the lines of his face
In Agnis chamber it was dark He had not lit a lamp In his hand was a handkerchief a blue handkerchief with a small flame embroidered in gold thread in one corner It was the handkerchief he had given Neer on the anniversary of their first friendship
He pressed the handkerchief to his face It still carried Neers scent of water lilies and fresh earth
Neer Agnis voice was broken filled with loneliness You know without you even the air in this room has begun to burn Without your coolness I keep burning myself Why did you leave Why did you leave me alone We promised that we would be each others balance Without you I am just a destructive fire
Tears hot and fast streamed down his cheeks soaking the handkerchief Was was it all a lie Our friendship our love Nirag
Nirag was looking out from his window The chariots had left The dust was settling Tapobhumi seemed emptier more desolate than before
He picked up his sword Sheetapsi He looked at it then suddenly slammed it against the wall with all his strength
Clang
The sound of metal rang out The sword bounced off the wall and clattered to the floor
Why Nirag screamed his voice like an echoing shriek in a cave Why am I always the one left behind First the ones who gave birth then the ones who raised me then friends Is the punishment for being with me so terrible
He slid down the wall to sit burying his head in his hands His shoulders shook but no sound came out The sobs were trapped inside like burning embers
In the cave Neers eyes suddenly flew open
They did not hold their calm blue They held a strange glow a glow that was neither of water nor of fire It was the glow of a third thing the glow of shadow
He picked up the damru His hand was trembling but firm
He shook the damru
Thum thum thum
The sound echoed in the cave but it was not the sound of an ordinary damru It was a sound like bones breaking like breaths stopping like someone crying far away
The cave began to tremble The shadows lengthened and danced coming alive
The time has come Neer said His voice now sounded dual one his own soft and pained and the other a rasping deep voice as if from grinding stones What I must do must be done Agni my Agni forgive me I am doing all this only to save you And our son
He shook the damru again This time harder
Margdarshak Vishrayan suddenly lifted his head in his hut His eyes widened He looked out the window to the north The sky was clear but he saw a black dot there spreading
It has begun he murmured his voice holding a terrible acceptance Now nothing can stop what is to happen Neer O Lord what have you done
And far away in Tapobhumi Agni suddenly lifted his head A sharp icy pain shot through his heart as if a sword had been plunged into it
His breath caught He placed a hand on his chest
And then he felt it A touch A memory Neers touch Neers memory But this touch was not warm It was cold as ice
Tears streamed from his eyes But this time these tears were not warm
These tears were cold Freezing tears
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