Oh, you really thought Homeless Man and company were gonna leave The Hood Of Los Angeles so quickly? Well, fuck no of course. They still needed more time to pretend that they were somewhat worthy of basic human respect, so they stayed their sorry asses in The Hood. Their reasoning for such a thing?
"No one would dare touch real ones like us"
Yes, that was a quote, straight from Cleveland. (I lied, it was Homeless Man but if I heard him say 'real' one more time, I would have become interested in the idea of hanging a noose around my neck) I know this has zero significance, but that statement came out of his mouth (but only because his mouth somehow had more shit in it than his ass). That was their reason for infecting hundreds of thousands of people with their stupidity instead of going into their little cardboard mansion thingy and only ruining the lives of at most a few hundred people.
However, in a rare victory for those with even a pixel of something not the complete opposite of intelligence, the window for The Re4lDe4l to stay on the loose has started to run out. Because our potential savior from this stupidity has arrived. (I won't say 'glorious queen' because I'm not a simp)
Now on, Ms. Em Cordona, that angry mother with the deadbeat husband, who has arrived to cleanse us all. Because she was the first person to witness The Re4lDe4l become a thing (and the first witness to have even a microscopic spine, backbone, or even some guts) and place a call on the LAPD hotline. Oh, I before I play the audio, I should mention that she's been in anger management for 12 years and has been the only person to ever make negative progress in anger management facilitation history.
LAPD Hotline Bot(LHB): "Hello, this is the Los Angeles Police Department-"
Em Cordona(EC): "JUST HOOK ME UP ALREADY"
LHB: "Automated Call Center. Please wait for your options and dial the according number.
EC: "I KNOW. HOOK ME THE FUCK UP"
LHB: "Press 1 for 'General Non-Armed Crimes'. Press 2 for 'Uncommon Non-Armed Crimes'"
EC: "WHERE'S "PROPERTY ISSUES'?!?!?"
LHB: "Press 3 for 'General Armed Crimes'. Press 4 for 'Uncommon Armed Crime-"
EC: (more rage)
LHB: "Press 5 for 'Financial Cyber Crimes'. Press 6 for 'Predatory Cyber Crimes'"
EC: "WHERE. IS. PROPERTY. ISSUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
LHB: "Press 7 for 'Crypto Scams'. Press 8 for 'Kidnappings/Murders'"
EC: "If 'Property Issues' doesn't show up this moment, I'm going. to. fucking lose it."
LHB: "Press 9 for 'Property Issu-"
EC: (dials 9 on her iPhone) "Took that dumb piece of shit long enough"
(Derek (DE), the LAPD Hotline Receiver picks up ringing phone)
DE: "Hello, LAPD Hotline Receiver Speaking-"
EC: "I FUCKING KNOW, JUST SEND ALL YOUR UNITS TO-"
DE: "Ma'am, I will send units when you stop screaming in my ear"
EC: (screaming) "I'M NOT SCREAMING"
DE: "Are you deaf, or do you not just hear yourself?"
EC: "I AM NOT DEAF, YOU INSENSITIVE PRI-"
DE: "God, I put you on 0.1 volume and it's still hurting my ears-"
EC: (having a victim complex): "Oh, so now I'm the bad guy? Oh, sorry, are you too good for me?"
DE: "No, I never said you were a bad person, I'm just asking you to talk in a normal voi-"
EC: "NO, I DO NOT-"
DE: "Is there a kidnapping or murder happening around you? Is there violence around you right now-"
EC: "No, dumba-"
DE: "Then you have no need to yell at quadruple-digit decibel-"
EC: "I WANT A NEW PERSON. CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO LEVEL OF INTELL-"
DE: "Shut the fuck up"
EC: (shocked) "Excuse me?"
DE: "Just... shut the fuck up"
EC: "ONE OF MY PROPERTIES IS BEING SQUATTED IN BY TWO BUMS-"
DE: "Relax, ma'am, where is it-"
EC: "THE GARRETT-27 HOUSE"
DE: "Alright, ma'am, we'll send in a uni-"
EC: "SEND THE WHOLE FUCKING ARMY-"
DE: "Ma'am, with all due respect... It is not that deep"
EC: (stands there shocked for a few seconds) "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM-"
DE: "I don't wanna go deaf from your screechiness." (hangs up)
Em just stood there, only muttering something about her "rights". Phone in hand. Shellshocked. Yes, she was shocked she got called out. Was she never taught the word 'no' in her life? I mean, she did have a valid complaint, but still no excuse to be a little bitch to the receiver guy.
But I guess Em's bitchiness benefited the world a little. I know what you're thinking? "So, what you're saying is that entitlement is good? ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING INSANE?!?!?! YOU'RE MORE SENILE THAN TONY!!!!!" Relax, what I meant is that after the call, Derek realized that there were two delusional white, suburban wannabe thugs inside the Garrett-27 house, and he knew the FBI was looking into that shit. So he sent the call to the FBI, and it made the FBI pay more attention for Tony's case, so that's how Em benefited us sane human beings with entitlement. See my logic now?
Now let's move on to how it did fuck us over in some ways, because the search got intensified. And no, that is NOT a good thing. Because by intensified, I mean the FBI started doing some extreme and morally questionable things. Fucked-up things, even. For example, let's take a good look at the shit that's going on at all the convenience stores in Los Angeles.
So, I want you to picture this. You're at a 7-Eleven, trying to get a slushie at 1 AM for no good reason. There's the drug-addicted unemployed mom of 6 bitching to the cashier, more concerned that her 12 packs of Camel won't go through then the fact her kids haven't ate a single crumb of food for 4 days, the high schooler praying that his or her forged ID will be able to buy the 6 bottles of vodka and 3 packs of Bud Light at the counter, some teen in the rack looking for candy, and then the FBI shows up, and chokes everyone at the nearest wall while demanding to know how to get inside the Garrett-27 House. Yes, the FBI was so desperate to eliminate the only reason the idea that a full education all the way to grad school should be mandatory in 57 countries that they were that they were going after convenience store owners, and even trying to choke the people inside to death, something no one deserved (maybe except the deadbeat mother).
Next, imagine if kidnapping turned from a crime into a fucking method of detaining used by the FBI, who, mind you, are supposed to be the highest level of authority. Well, that's exactly one of the other clinically insane methods the FBI turned to in the quest of tripling the world's average IQ. They aggressively searched for those who they thought might know something about any of The Re4lDe4l members other than their first name, dragged them into basements located in designated (Shit, I rhymed) outposts, and threatened to kill them, their family, their kids' friends, and their pets unless they gave them information about The Re4lDe4l and their members, sometimes info that they did not know. And about the killings... let's just say the FBI weren't bluffing, and the deathcount was currently listed at:
267 Families
10004 Kids (That's how deranged the FBI had gotten from the stupidity levels they were forced to endure)
2364 Pets
And last but not certainly least, the FBI even included the kids they weren't using as bait in their mission. How, you may ask? Well, have you heard of some middle-aged overweight junkie deadbeat virgin loser pull up in a white rusty van (because what other better vehicle), hold out a lollipop from the passenger window and offer 6-year old Timmy more candy if his gets in his van. Then do, you know, morally questionable things to Timmy and other naive kids. Well, the FBI basically did the same shit, except instead of those morally questionable things, they used the candy as bait to try and make the kids tell them information about Homeless Man, Cleveland, and others, and also lead them to Garrett-27. Yes, the FBI got so fucking desperate they started to track down little kids, thinking they had some sort of intel for their mission. Quick question: If you didn't the other two things were fucked up, do you consider this fucked up?
Although... it's only been a few days and the last straw has already had 1st-degree murder committed against it 73 times.
Let me explain: So some worried mother called 911. Doesn't sound too unusual, right? Well, what she told the dispatcher was... rather disturbing. According to her, one of her kids died and the other one, Timmy was almost infected. What for, may you be asking? Well, she said that someone's stupidity (later discovered to be Homeless Man's) had infected her now dead son's braincells and also infected Timmy. And what was the cause of death for the dead son? Well, allegedly, the dead son shoplifted an iPad from a daycare and started binge-watching TikTok Italian Brainrot edits. Non-stop. For a week. With no food OR water, using the bathroom even once, or practicing anything resembling basic hygiene. And he died from practicing the Redditor lifestyle too long for his age. The autopsy and coroner's report revealed Homeless Man's stupidity killed braincells faster than weed.
I don't know what did it, whether it was the death of a child or whether the stupidity overstayed its welcome (longer than how long the overdue Days an Deeds book from Kewanee Public Library was), but an FBI agent finally tracked down the location of the Garrett-27 house, and the raid was about to get set up. The FBI unanimously voted that they should do the raid at 3:00 AM the next day, because The Re4lDe4l probably thought it was coolest time ever. Imagine the look on those bums' faces when they get busted and ended once and for all at a time they probably performed fellatio on.
So what do Homeless Man and Cleveland do about it? After all, aren't the FBI completely focused on ending them? I mean, a woman you'd assume was a raging alcoholic if you didn't know her your whole life reported them, Entire 7-Eleven's were being held hostage, every kid was either dead or trapped in a white van, and Homeless Man was even caught killing someone with Italian Brainrot. Well, nothing of course. Their belief that they were "untouchable" fueled that decision. The FBI knew, and they were gonna jump at opportunity.