The Joint Audit Simulation room looked deceptively ordinary from the outside—a plain frosted glass door, a small placard reading Training Chamber 4B, and an LED light above it that blinked calmly, as if mocking their impending doom. But the moment the door slid open with a cheerful electronic chime, Mehul and Nacikate stepped into pure bureaucratic surrealism.
The room was unnaturally bright, illuminated by ceiling lights so white they made everyone look like a character from a medical drama. At the far end, a massive touchscreen wall flickered to life, displaying a smiling cartoon rupee symbol waving with alarming enthusiasm. A sleek black desk sat in the center, covered in neatly stacked papers, three pens, and a coffee machine that burbled energetically in the corner.
"Welcome, participants!" a cheerful voice chirped from the speakers.The cartoon rupee jumped with joy.Mehul flinched. "Oh hell no, it talks."
"That," Nacikate said in a strained voice, "is Currency-Assist Model 7. Our AI auditing assistant."He did not sound happy about it.
The rupee symbol blinked."Greetings! I am CAM-7, your Joint Audit Facilitator! Today, we will explore your cooperative synergy potential while enhancing cross-functional bonding!"
Mehul raised an eyebrow. "Why does it sound like it wants us to get married?"
Nacikate didn't respond. He was staring at the machine like it personally insulted his ancestors.
CAM-7 continued, undeterred."Please take your designated seats, synergists!"
Mehul plopped into his chair with zero grace, spinning half a rotation.Nacikate sat down with rigid posture, back straight, knees aligned like he was preparing for a corporate photo shoot.
Immediately, the desk lit up beneath their hands in synchronized glowing blue waves.
"Whoa," Mehul murmured, poking the surface. "Fancy."
"It tracks palm temperature," Nacikate explained automatically. "To measure stress levels."
"So yours must be boiling," Mehul said casually.
And indeed, the screen under Nacikate's hand flashed WARNING: ELEVATED TEMPERATURE DETECTED.
"Wonderful," he muttered. "This machine is going to insult me, too."
CAM-7's voice chimed again, way too cheerful for the situation."Let us begin your first synergy scenario!"
The touchscreen wall shifted into a simulation of a fake bank environment—tiny animated customers lining up in queue, some holding documents, others tapping impatiently. A banner across the top read:
SCENARIO 1: CUSTOMER DISPUTE MANAGEMENT"Resolve the case cooperatively!"
Mehul cracked his knuckles."Nice. Let me hack the customer data real quick—"
"No!" Nacikate almost lunged across the table."This simulation is graded!"
"And?" Mehul asked innocently.
"And I want to pass!"
CAM-7 interrupted."Please analyze the provided complaint letter!"
A message popped up on the screen:
"Dear Bank,I deposited ₹10,000 but only ₹9,999 reflects in my account. Please fix ASAP.Regards,Mr. X"
Mehul snorted. "Bruh he lost ONE rupee? That's vibes."
"This is not about vibes," Nacikate hissed. "This is about compliance."
He reached for one of the pens.
The pen immediately slid out of his hand.
He blinked, confused.He reached again.The pen slipped away again.It wasn't rolling—it was moving.
Mehul stared, fascinated. "Bro… the pens are running away from you."
The pen zipped across the table, dodging his grasp like a cockroach with dreams.
"Why is this happening?" Nacikate snapped, chasing it helplessly.
CAM-7 responded sweetly,"Stress level too high! Preventing tool usage for user safety!"
Mehul burst into laughter."Oh my god, even the PEN is scared of you."
Nacikate pressed both palms on the table and inhaled shakily.
"Let's solve the problem," he said through clenched teeth.
Mehul picked up the pen gently.Immediately, the pen glowed green.CAM-7 chimed, "User Two: emotional state optimal!"
"See?" Mehul said, gesturing proudly. "The pen likes me."
"The pen doesn't LIKE you," Nacikate argued. "It is malfunctioning."
But CAM-7 disagreed."User One's aura: tense.User Two's aura: chaotic but stable."
"AURA?" Nacikate repeated incredulously."We are not in a yoga class!"
Ignoring the argument, Mehul scribbled a note on the complaint letter:
"Dear Mr. X,Have you tried turning your wallet off and on again?"
"Mehul—""Bro trust the process."
CAM-7 beeped harshly."UNACCEPTABLE RESPONSE!"
Mehul shrugged. "Worth a try."
Before they could regroup, the second scenario flashed onto the wall:
SCENARIO 2: FRAUDULENT TRANSACTION ALERT
An animated graph fluctuated wildly, red arrows pointing in every chaotic direction.
Mehul leaned forward, excited."Oh hell yeah. NOW we cook."
He opened a virtual terminal on the desk's interface with practiced elegance.Lines of code flickered across the screen like neon poetry.
Nacikate watched, horrified."What are you DOING? This is a SIMULATION!"
"Exactly," Mehul said. "So if I break it, it doesn't matter."
"It DOES matter!"
But Mehul was already typing.And the simulation reacted violently.The graph began spinning.The animated rupee symbol started screaming in panic.
CAM-7 yelled,"STOP!! SYSTEM INTEGRITY COMPROMISED!!"
"No no, it's fine," Mehul said, still typing."I'm optimizing your code."
"You are DESTROYING MY CODE!" CAM-7 howled.
The graph exploded in a shower of digital pixels.The screen went black.Then rebooted into a completely different mode:
COUPLES THERAPY MODE ACTIVATED
Both men froze.
Nacikate whispered, "Mehul… what did you do?"
Mehul blinked innocently."I… may have hacked the personality settings?"
CAM-7 now had a soft, soothing voice."To maintain synergy, please complete the Emotional Compatibility Questionnaire."
"NO," Nacikate said instantly.
The room dimmed.Soft instrumental music started playing.Hearts floated across the screen.
Mehul looked delighted."This is the best day of my life."
"Please answer honestly," CAM-7 insisted.Question 1:When facing pressure, do you prefer:(a) Structured planning(b) Chaotic improvisation(c) Screaming
Mehul immediately tapped "c."Nacikate hesitated, then reluctantly tapped "a."
CAM-7 responded,"Opposites attract! Synergy potential 78%!"
Nacikate put his head in his hands."Kill me," he whispered.
The next question appeared.
Question 2:Do you trust your partner's decision-making skills?Options:(a) Yes(b) No(c) Absolutely not(d) HAHAHAHA**
Mehul tapped (d).Nacikate tapped (b).CAM-7 squealed happily."Honest communication detected! Collaborative growth unlocked!"
Suddenly the lights brightened again and the main system rebooted.A report printed from a side panel, the paper warm and smelling faintly of toner.
CAM-7 announced:"Joint Audit Simulation Completed.Result: HIGH-INTENSITY SYNERGY PAIR."
Nacikate stared at the report like it was a death certificate.Mehul grabbed it, skimmed it, and laughed so hard he choked.
"It sent this," CAM-7 added, "directly to the government."
Both men froze.
"What," Nacikate whispered, "did you just say?"
A notification pinged on the wall.
RECEIVED BY GOVT. PORTALStatus: Under Review
Another ping followed.Then another.Then three more.
Mehul blinked."Uh… is this bad?"
Nacikate grabbed the simulation table for balance.
"This," he said slowly, "is catastrophic."