The news of Sirius Black's capture at Hogwarts spread like wildfire. Audrey felt a bit dejected; she would no longer be able to attend those wonderfully hilarious drama classes. Now, she was truly on vacation.
She decided to embrace the spirit of the "salted fish" to its absolute limit—never sitting if she could lie down, and never opening her eyes if she could keep them closed. Although her little diary was still missing and Viggars Carrow was watching her like a hawk, none of it felt like a real threat. Who cared? As for Harry's safety—how could the "Chosen One" be taken down that easily? Besides, Dumbledore was keeping a close watch.
She had to seize every second to rest and enjoy herself, because this vacation would only last seven months. By the end of June, she would once again be subjected to the ruthless tag-team training of Grindelwald and Nicolas Flamel!
Whoosh.
The sound of roaring flames erupted near Audrey's ear. Without even opening her eyes, she knew it was the sound of phoenix travel.
"Fawkes, shouldn't you be with your mate in the nest? What are you doing here?"
Fawkes shook his head indignantly and held up a claw, clutching a letter.
"Audrey, come to the Headmaster's office immediately. I have something to discuss with you. — Albus Dumbledore."
Audrey climbed out of bed reluctantly, grumbling, "What does that old man want now? Can't he just leave me in peace?"
Fawkes nodded repeatedly, letting out a series of chirps in agreement.
Cree—!! (You're absolutely right! That old man is a total menace!)
Zip!
Audrey appeared in the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore sat behind his desk as steady as a rock, offering her a faint smile. By the window, Severus Snape turned around, his face a mask of stony irritation.
"Oh, Professor Snape is here too!"
Audrey sat down boldly in the chair opposite the desk and unceremoniously held out her hand to Dumbledore. With a flick of Dumbledore's finger, a handful of sweets flew into Audrey's palm.
"You're disturbing my rest, Professor Dumbledore. I hope you didn't call me here for something boring, like Slytherin losing a match and Professor Snape wanting me back on the team."
A visible vein throbbed on Snape's forehead, but he took a deep breath and endured it.
"Of course not, Audrey," Dumbledore said, choosing his words carefully. "As you know, we have unfortunately lost Professor Gilderoy Lockhart. It is a heavy loss for us."
Audrey nodded repeatedly. Indeed, without Lockhart, school life had lost half its entertainment value! The loss was truly catastrophic!
"However, the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor cannot remain vacant." Dumbledore glanced at Snape. "Professor Snape is very keen to take over the post, but he is already teaching Potions to years one through seven. He simply cannot be in two places at once."
"So?" Audrey looked at Dumbledore with confusion, not quite understanding where he was going with this.
"So, I would like you to serve as the temporary Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, responsible for the classes of the first to fourth-year students."
"Impossible!" Audrey stood up, her expression grave and her refusal firm. "Absolutely impossible!"
She gave a small huff. "Professor Dumbledore, what were you thinking? I'm just a student myself! You want me to be a professor?"
I'm just a student, I haven't played enough yet, and you want to use me as child labor! This is the height of shameless capitalist behavior! Anti-people! Anti-society!
Snape's mood improved significantly. He even gave Dumbledore a provocative look; seeing Audrey make Dumbledore stumble was one of his favorite pastimes.
"I am well aware of your combat capabilities. You are more than qualified to be a professor."
Audrey continued to shake her head. "It's not a matter of ability, Professor. My price is very high—you can't afford me!"
Dumbledore replied, "There is a Chinese saying I quite like: 'Talking about money hurts feelings.' Audrey, just think of it as doing me a favor!"
"No!"
Old man, trying to get a free ride? Not a chance!
Audrey pulled a piece of parchment from her robes and flicked it onto Dumbledore's desk. "This was my income for last month," she said indignantly. "Take a good look."
Dumbledore picked up the paper, and his expression turned sour. Curiously, Snape drifted over behind him to look. The page was covered in dense rows of numbers, and on the final line, it read: $214,238,922,101.15.
The old bat went silent. The old bee went silent.
When Audrey talked money, they truly had no ground to stand on.
But then a thought occurred to Snape: didn't this mean Dumbledore would have no choice but to give the DADA position to him? He suddenly felt quite cheerful, and even Audrey started looking a bit more pleasant to him.
"Audrey," Dumbledore sighed. "I know you are very wealthy now, but you didn't earn that money personally. Your time is quite flexible; I don't think you should use that as an excuse. If you become the youngest professor in the history of Hogwarts, it would be a great benefit to your future development!"
Benefit? What benefit? Could it make my life of "eating and waiting to die" any more pleasant?
Dumbledore was talking about the "future" to someone who just wanted to rot in peace—it was a total case of casting pearls before swine. Audrey kept shaking her head, her mind made up. She was absolutely not becoming a professor!
Dumbledore thought for a moment and tried again. "How about this? I have some information regarding the Gryffindor Secret Vault. If I tell you everything I know, would you be willing to put in the effort?"
Finding the Gryffindor Secret Vault and passing its trials meant more than just high-level inheritance; it meant owning a quarter of the castle. This was a gesture of immense sincerity.
But who was Audrey? Her logic was not that of a normal person.
Not only do you want me to toil away teaching for seven months, but you also want me to work myself to the bone looking for the Gryffindor Secret Vault? Dumbledore, you old fox, you're going too far!
As for power or owning a quarter of the castle—those were fleeting clouds! She was already strong enough, and as she aged, she would only get stronger. She might even surpass Dumbledore by the time she was eighteen. And she already owned half of Hogwarts anyway. Besides, she was going to leave Hogwarts sooner or later to avoid the final battle. What was the point of full castle authority? Was she going to kick out all the professors and students and live there as a hermit?
In her eyes, these things were useless, less valuable than a gold coin that could help her sleep soundly. To trade her precious rest for useless items was truly unwise!
Seeing Audrey's head shaking like a rattle, Dumbledore was completely stumped. This young player was totally impenetrable. Was there nothing that could move her?
Snape returned to the window, looking out to hide his excitement. He was about to get his wish and become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor! At least in DADA, a student's mistake wouldn't cause a cauldron to explode; dealing with constant emergencies had long ago worn out Snape's patience. Once he took the DADA job, he would immediately recommend an old friend for the Potions post. He wasn't about to sacrifice all his time for a bunch of brats!
"Alas!" Dumbledore let out a deep sigh. "Since that is the case, I suppose I will have to ask Professor Gael Depp to fill the vacancy."
Mhm, mhm! Go ahead, just as long as I don't have to be the professor! Audrey thought happily.
Wait a minute... Gael Depp?
Audrey's pupils dilated. She looked at Dumbledore in disbelief. "You can make... Teacher Depp a professor? His identity..."
Dumbledore shrugged. "At the start of last term, we even admitted a wanted criminal as a student. It's no big deal. This is Hogwarts; I have that much authority."
If Grindelwald came to Hogwarts... did that mean her miserable life of being beaten in training would start seven months early? No, not just seven months early—it would last for seven whole months!!
Audrey's eyes rolled back; she nearly fainted! Damn Dumbledore! He was actually using Teacher Grindelwald to threaten her!
I, Hydrus Lestrange, shall never yield!!
...But then again, what did Hydrus's problems have to do with Audrey? Audrey followed her heart—and her heart was a coward.
"Fine, fine," Audrey said helplessly. "Just for this school year?"
"Yes, just this school year."
Audrey weighed her options. If she was the professor, she could decide what to teach. Maybe she could continue Professor Lockhart's style—drama teaching, musical theater teaching—that might actually be fun. And with only four classes a week, she'd still have plenty of time to rest. It was definitely better than having Teacher Grindelwald at Hogwarts forcing her to train every day! That old man really worked her to death!
"Fine, I agree. But you have to keep your promise—you must tell me the information about the Gryffindor Secret Vault!"
"I will."
"And the professor's salary cannot be low!"
"Agreed."
"And for the summer special training, you must help me convince my teacher to cut the time in half!"
Dumbledore hesitated. "...Agreed."
Since she had decided to do it, she had to maximize the benefits.
"No! It's not fine at all!" Snape turned around, glaring at Dumbledore. "I don't believe she can teach students properly. She's just a student herself!"
Dumbledore gestured for him to calm down. "Relax, Severus." He adjusted his spectacles. "As we discussed, if you don't trust Audrey's strength, the two of you can have a match."
Audrey blinked, looking from Dumbledore to Snape. Her little head was full of questions. Why did she have to fight Snape?
However, two seconds later, Audrey was ecstatic. Did this mean she had a chance to give Snape a proper lesson? She clearly remembered how Snape had framed her and suspected her of "crimes" last year!
"Okay, okay!" Audrey cried out happily. "I agree! Let's show the students in the Great Hall what a real wizard's duel looks like!"
She looked positively thrilled. "This year it's been Basilisks and Sirius Black; the students must be terrified. I think improving their combat awareness is a wonderful thing!"
Dumbledore didn't quite know why Audrey was so enthusiastic all of a sudden, but he said, "Audrey has a point. Severus, it's settled then. If you lose to Audrey, she will be the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for years one through four!"
Snape snorted. "Don't come crying to your parents when I'm through with you, Astley! I won't be holding back!"
Crying to her parents? Thinking of her "Egghead" father and her "Crazy" mother, Miss Astley shook her head.
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