Humans die someday.
And people fear death. Where there is a beginning, there is an end. Why do humans fear death?
What is life...
A lifespan of 18 years. Until I met the Doctor, my 12-year-old world was monochrome. And now, in my 16th year.
I still don't really understand humans. I know about good people. Starting with the Doctor, Da Vinci-chan, Senpai, Humpty-san. There are good people among the staff too. Even in Team A, there were people like Ms. Ophelia and Mr. Peperoncino who approached me.
But... I still don't really understand humans.
What life is, the deep emotions of humans. Why do humans go to war, why do they risk their lives on uncertain adventures... I'm full of things I don't know. The Doctor said he couldn't give a clear answer about that either.
Another day began today, and I thought about it, but I don't know the answer. Is it okay to live like this, without solving this question...
I had no one to share these worries with. I was afraid Senpai or Humpty-san would... see me as a strange child.
Unlike Da Vinci-chan or the Doctor, I haven't known them for long. I didn't want to possibly drive them away.
"You have something on your mind?"
"Yes... Ms. Kiara, you said you were a Seraphist, so..."
So, I came to Ms. Kiara, who is friendly with Senpai compared to others.
She served tea and Ohagi, a Japanese sweet. I know it because the Doctor gave it to me once before.
"First... do you like fairy tales, Mash?"
"Fairy tales? Of course I like them. Hans Christian Andersen's 'The Little Match Girl' was particularly impressive. I also enjoyed simple children's picture books like Anthony Browne's 'Piggybook' when I was little."
"I see, you are someone who loves fairy tales. Good. So, what is troubling you?"
I told her my worries without filter. She said she was a professional Seraphist, and the atmosphere she gave off was similar to the Doctor's, so it felt comfortable. I heard she met the Doctor in childhood, maybe that's why?
"I see... That's a profound question. Among the clients who have consulted me, it's the most difficult and philosophical question and concern."
"Is that so... I've made it difficult after all."
"No, on the contrary, it energizes me. To have someone I want to counsel like this... As expected, Mash-chan is an interesting person. I might even get excited..."
"Huh?"
"It's nothing. So, shall we first talk about human life? Human life is a story of growth."
"Growth..."
Growth... I have lived only in Chaldea for 16 years. 15 years in a sterile room, and for less than a year, I've only barely been able to walk around Chaldea. The first outside world I encountered was the burning Fuyuki City. The blue sky from the video the Doctor showed me... I barely saw it in France. Even that was a bit ruined due to some ring.
"I know the academic meaning of growth. I also know about people like Erikson and Piaget."
"You are very knowledgeable. But, with such analysis alone, we cannot discuss life. You have your own ideology, values, thoughts, and various other things. And those can change as you live. That too is a form of growth. Of course, there are also those who regress."
"My own...?"
"What you will come to like, what you will come to dislike. What you will hold sacred... That is for you to decide. Humans realize many things and see countless landscapes. That experience will add fullness to your life. Although my ideology is a bit different... the world creates you."
"The world, creates me?"
"Setting aside deterrents and such. The given environment changes humans. There is one human. But there is a person with the same origin who lived in a different world, in a different environment, and had different experiences. But although the two may have the same soul origin, their tendencies and personalities are different. Like a different self in a multiverse, as they often say. Just as a newborn baby knows nothing, humans learn and experience through their surroundings as they live in the world, grow, and develop emotions including values as humans. That is a human. And that is you."
".... I understand."
"And, I'd like to say one more thing."
"What is it?"
"Humans are vicious creatures who gather wisdom and power for desires and purposes. That is why I, in the past, thought that others besides me were not human and only I alone was human. But... within that viciousness, humans harbor a hope that can achieve the unachievable. Something gods and monsters do not have, something only humans possess. The power that made them the masters of the stars. Humans, holding hope, crossed oceans and circumnavigated the globe, even learned to fly the skies, and even made electricity their own."
"But, humans caused two World Wars in recent times. There were the Crusades fought for religious reasons, and countless wars that have existed since the past. What are those? Even now, humanity fights wars because of different religions and values. Isn't that wrong?"
"Of course it is wrong. But, while humans started the wars, it was also humans who ended them, saying it was wrong. Although currently they hate each other's different values, say being different is wrong, and fight... with time, they too will realize. To not repeat the wrong history. What cast humans into hell were humans, and what saved such humans were also humans. There are wrong, vicious monsters, but there are also righteous, just humans. Which side you belong to, that is for you to decide, Mash."
"...."
It's a complex and difficult story. Nevertheless, I understood everything she was saying. I thanked her and finished the consultation, and it seemed my thoughts were somewhat organized.
Walking down the corridor thinking, I saw people remodeling an empty room.
"Over here~!"
"Put it down here!"
"This is...?"
"Huh? Mash?"
Humpty-san was remodeling an empty room with people called Mariners. What's going on?
"What are you doing?"
"Ah~ It's a secret, you'll find out soon."
"A secret? I'm getting curious."
Are they making a workshop? I wonder what this person will show this time, I'm getting excited.
... Should I ask one thing?
"Humpty-san. There's one thing I want to ask."
"Huh? What is it?"
"... My lifespan is at most 2 years. You must be startled by this sudden talk, but... Humpty-san. Do you think there is a reason for me, who has lived only in Chaldea for 16 years, to live through this remaining time, even though I have a predetermined end and will disappear?"
"..."
Humpty-san had a very troubled face at my story. As I thought, I made it difficult for him...
"... The reason is something you have to find for yourself. But, the things you do while living your remaining time will never become meaningless."
"Huh?"
"Life doesn't only have value while you're alive. Even if you die, the life a human lived doesn't become meaningless. Some leave achievements, some save many people, some help others. Van Gogh wasn't recognized in his lifetime, but after his death, he was recognized worldwide as a painter who left his mark on history. And after death, people evaluate his life too. Is this a bit different? Anyway..."
Humpty-san put his hand on my shoulder and told me with a kind smile.
"Even if you die, even if that is a determined future, you are living in the present. The things you experienced, the influence you gave, don't become things that never happened. Your life is a story that only you can experience. It's a common saying, but they say the protagonist of one's own life is oneself, right? That saying is common and obvious, but it's also the most correct. I'm not that old either, so I can't give great advice... Mash. Even so, your existence here is never meaningless."
"... That helped a little. Thank you, Humpty-san."
"It's nothing, sorry I couldn't give great advice."
Life... the life I must live from now on is not in vain... Somehow, compared to before, my heart feels a bit lighter. The hope that humans have... Indeed, what is my hope?
Tap tap...
"Let's see... It should be here, right?"
Peaceful Chaldea. Into Chaldea, a wanderer entered.
"That Okita guy, I told him to buy matcha ice cream and he's still not back? Did he collapse on the way... Well, since I'm here, I'll find him quickly."