Episode 9: How to Defeat Clankers with Jesse! (no, you can't punch them)
"Hey guys, welcome back to Creche to Command!" Ahsoka said brightly while Jesse moved about in the background.
They seemed to be in one of the sparring rooms. Jesse was dragging something across the ground, something heavy and metal. Though, the audience couldn't tell what it was.
"I'm back once more with fan-favorite, Jesse." Ahsoka continued.
Jesse dropped whatever he was dragging and turned back to the camera. "Yeah, I hear I almost won some sort of 'hottest trooper' senate poll before Commander Cody stole my victory from me! All because of a stupid love confession Fives didn't even write."
"Now, now, Jesse, no need to be petty. Commander Cody works hard. He deserves to win a poll."
Jesse grumbled a series of complaints but went back to dragging the things across the ground.
"Speaking of the Senate, I'm super excited to announce we have a new series. 'Fox Talks'! A live stream where you can listen to Representative Fox talk about senate issues with the senate. Isn't that so exciting?"
"Is he Representative Fox or Commander Fox? Commander Cody was unclear during the briefing."
Ahsoka shrugged. "I don't really care. I'm probably never going to come face-to-face with him. But, for all our viewers, be sure to be on the lookout for 'Fox Talks' live streams. And if you can't make a stream, don't worry. We'll upload it all to the archive so you can get a sense of what's going on. At least on the trooper side of things."
Jesse finally finished up his metal dragging and came to sit next to her. "Just to be clear, we didn't name the series. The Corries did. Which is why the title sucks."
She swatted his shoulder. "Be nice."
"What? It is lame. 'Fox Talks'. Who thought that was a good idea?" he scoffed. "And does Commander and/or Representative Fox even know he's going to be recorded every time he's on the floor? I've heard from a few of the Corries he's not always the most observant."
"Regardless of the stupid name or the fact that Representative Fox probably isn't aware he's being recorded—"
"See, even you admit it's stupid."
"A lot of people were very interested in the last live stream the Corries did. And Senator Amidala thinks it's a great idea! She loves it when the citizens are informed of what's going on with their governments."
"Sounds super interesting," Jesse said, rolling his eyes. "Vod'ika, no one is here to listen to use chatter on about politics. They're here to see what we do best. Destroy battle droids and look super badass while doing it."
Ahsoka shook her head fondly. "Yes, yes. You've wanted to teach the initiates the best ways to beat up droids since we started the series."
"The baby Jedi must master the art of destroying clankers. I mean, I know Commander Wolffe has his series about our cool battlefield moments, but you should also know how to take them out simply. After all, not everyone can do that sick backflip I did off a speeder the other day."
"We've been over this, Jesse. It's not a backflip if you crash and go flying through the air."
He clasped a hand over her mouth. "Shut up! No one knows the context."
She licked his hand.
"Ugh! You licked me! That's disgusting."
She laughed. "You deserved it and you know it."
"I'll get back at you, Tano. Just you wait. Fives is looking for ways to mess with you. You know if we team up there's no stopping us."
"I'm quaking in my boots," she rolled her eyes. "Onto how to defeat clankers. First and foremost, we should start by saying no matter what you aren't allowed to punch them."
"Yeah, the medics get their blacks in a twist whenever someone punches them," Jesse scoffed.
"For good reason!" Kix cried, coming into frame. "You are made of flesh and bone. They are made of steel. You will break your hand."
Jesse crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.
"In fact, you have broken your hand! Several times. And yet, you insist on continuing to punch them!"
"Because it looks sick as hell," Jesse said. "Besides, Commander Cody once kicked the head off a clanker."
"Are you Commander Cody?" Kix glared at him.
"We share the same genetic profile."
Kix leaned in close. "You are not Commander Cody," he hissed before pulling back. "Besides, Helix and Cas also don't like that he kicks the heads off of clankers either. You're outmatched on this one, vod. All the medics unanimously agree that no one is allowed to use their body to punch, kick, or body slam any droid."
Ahsoka snickered.
"And why are you laughing, ner ad'ika?"
This time, it was Jesse's turn to snicker. "Ooh, you're in trouble."
"Come on, Kix, I'm not as bad as Jesse."
"That's like saying getting your hand blown off isn't as bad as getting your leg blown off. Last battle you had Hardcase chuck you into a mass of clankers."
"Yeah, probably not your best move," Jesse said. "Thought the general and the captain were going to have heart attacks."
"I was fine!"
Kix turned to the camera. "I don't care what they tell you for the rest of this video. No one. Is. Allowed. To. Punch. Kick. Or Bodyslam. A. Droid. Is that clear?"
"Yeah, yeah. Come on, go." Jesse said, pushing Kix out of the frame. "You're killing the vibe here with all your medical talk. We're here to discuss sweet-ass battle strategies."
"I outrank all of you in medical matters!" Kix shouted.
"Not on Creche to Command you don't."
"Sorry, Kix. He's right." Ahsoka shrugged. "Alright, let's get started."
She bent over and pulled up a B1-series battle droid. So that's what Jesse had been dragging across the floor.
"Alright, Fives ripped all his wiring out so he won't be waking up any time real soon," Ahsoka said. "These are just for demonstration purposes. This is a B1-series battle droid. They're the ones you'll see most on the battlefield."
"They're also dumb as hell," Jesse said. "That's not even a joke or a jab at the Seppies. Even they'll admit these things are stupid."
"One time, Rex managed to buy some time by telling a group of them that they were outnumbered. The droid started actually counting which allowed Master Obi-Wan the chance to swoop in and save the day," she laughed.
"Another time, I literally got the upper hand on one of these suckers by saying, 'look behind you!'. The clanker actually turned around and looked."
"Or how about that one-time Fives just walked in a circle around one? The B1 kept trying to shoot him and instead took out the rest of his squad," Ahsoka said.
"That was brilliant." Jesse agreed.
"So you might be wondering, if they're so stupid, how are they dangerous? Well, what makes them deadly is there are so many of them. It's like killing ants. Individually, they aren't much of a threat. But get a big group of them together and you've got yourself a problem."
"The best way to deal with them is simply to sow the seeds of chaos. Tell them confusing things, even if you think it's stupid, and watch as their circuitry gets fried. They're easy to distract so wait until their backs are turned and take 'em out."
"Of course, full-frontal assault also works," Ahsoka said. "They go down pretty easily with blaster fire and their armor isn't the thickest."
"Unlike these bad boys," Jesse said, hauling up a much larger droid that was all grey. And also missing an arm.
"This one was a little harder to take down," Ahsoka said. "And find one that was mostly in one piece."
"Yeah, usually we let the Jedi handle these guys," Jesse added. "These are super battle droids. Or B2-series."
"They aren't as intelligent as the B1s," Ahsoka said.
Jesse snorted. "If you can call the B1s 'intelligent'."
She rolled her eyes. "What I mean is that they aren't free thinkers. They don't have AI that allows for complex strategies. They have one directive and one directive only. March forward and shoot. The B1s can make more complex decisions independently from a tactical droid or living commander. The B2s are basically just tanks."
"They are also much harder to take out with a blaster," Jesse said. "Their armor is thicker so it takes more shots to take them down. Which is why we pass them off to the Jedi."
"The troopers take care of the B1s, we take care of the B2s," Ahsoka said.
"They do have one major weakness, though. They're very stiff. The B1s can step over and around obstacles. They can twist and look behind their shoulders. They can point their blasters in different directions. These guys can't. At least not to the same extent. One sturdy rope pulled taut at just the right height will have them stumbling and falling. And they can't get back up."
"And because their arms are stiff and they don't have the range of motion in their backs, it's pretty easy to get close to them and then just avoid their blasters," Ahsoka said.
"But, like we said, they're much harder to take down. And while one might not be a problem, get a big enough group together and it's harder to avoid the blasters," Jesse said.
"Alright, next up, the worst ones in my opinion, droidekas," she said, hoisting up two halves of a droid. She winced as a part clattered to the ground. "Sorry, unlike the other droids, we couldn't actually find one on the battlefield that was in one piece. Master Anakin tried to weld it back together for us but…."
"It came back to life and nearly took out the ship," Jesse said. "Hence why everything else has their wiring all ripped out. Anyways, we call these guys rollies."
"Don't let the cute name fool you," Ahsoka said, glaring at the destroyed remains of the droideka. "These guys are awful. They come with their own little shield that doesn't let blaster fire in but definitely lets it out. And they can roll up to 75 kilometers per hour."
"You can get through the shield if you're careful," Jesse said. "Captain Rex has done it a few times. But it only works if they're distracted and you move very carefully. The best way to get rid of them is to get them rolling and then either blast them or cut 'em apart. They can't roll and generate their shield."
Ahsoka nodded. "I still don't like them. Like the B2s they aren't very tactical. They follow the directives of whoever is in charge. But the very presence of the shield makes them so hard to deal with."
She dropped the destroyed droid with disgust. "Alright, last up for today, a tactical droid."
Jesse pulled up only the head. "Um… yeah. We left the body behind. Sorry. It was… kind of under the destroyed remains of a tank and we didn't feel like trying to remove it since the remains would have been—"
"Completely pulverized?"
He nodded. "Completely pulverized."
"Like he said, this is a tactical droid. Or, at least it's the head of a tactical droid." Ahsoka explained. "They're the ones giving orders. As the name implies, they're tacticians that help direct the rest of the troops. They're much smarter than basically any droid. But they often aren't firing a blaster at you. They'll be hanging out towards the back or in a tank, away from the action."
"Which is why if you see one, it's imperative you get rid of it first," Jesse said. "Get rid of a tactical droid and everything else will fall apart. Same as if you were to get rid of a flesh and blood general. The B1s will start arguing about who's in charge. The B2s and rollies will just start firing at anything that moves without reason. And the chaos makes it much easier to take out the rest of the army. Get rid of the tactical droid, and you have a much better chance of winning."
Ahsoka nodded. "Also, tactical droids can be great for gathering intel. They operate on a much larger system and are often connected to other bases to get their orders. This is why we try to take the heads after every battle. They've got a lot of information stored in their heads that could be useful in figuring out all sorts of things."
"Separatist base locations, what they know about Republic forces, upcoming campaigns. Even the names of generals and commanding officers that we might have some intel on," Jesse listed.
"Exactly. Well, those are all the droids we had for today. Anything else, Jesse?"
He shook his head. "There are more clankers you'll run into. Commandos, assassin droids, spider droids, things like that. But these are the main ones you'll be dealing with on the battlefield."
"More importantly, these were the ones we dealt with during our last battle so this is what you get," Ahsoka said. "I hope that helps give everyone an idea of how to deal with the enemy. See you guys next time and be sure to catch 'Fox Talks'!"
Jesse shook his head. "Still say that's a stupid name."
Ahsoka simply laughed. "Bye, guys."
*****
Ki-Adi-Mundi was exhausted. It was the sort of exhaustion that one could feel in their very soul. A bone-deep exhaustion that didn't go away even after a night's rest.
It had started when the war had started. And he had a feeling it wouldn't go away until the war went away.
Many things contributed to this exhaustion. It was the constant, frenetic motion that came with an adrenaline-soaked battlefield. It was hopping from one planet to the next with hardly a day's rest in between. It was the gnawing fear in the back of one's mind even when he was far from the sweat and dust and blood of the battlefield that even though he was experiencing peace now, it would be ripped away from him in a few days as he hopped back on a ship to head to the next battlefield.
It was a lot of things that slowly wore him down.
He knew his men were feeling it too. Bacara would never complain outwardly, but he had grown less aggressive as time went on. The circles under his eyes grew deeper and darker as his sleep schedule became more erratic. The lines on his face grew in number not only due to his accelerated aging but also due to stress and trauma. There was a hollowness in the way he filled out reports that listed the dead. A hollowness that could only come from having to experience the pain of loss so many times, it no longer phased him.
Ki-Adi-Mundi hated it. As much as he wanted a rest, as much as he was desperate for a rest, it was his men he was more worried about. He would give anything to give them a break. Just this once. A few days for them to sleep off the stress and trauma of battle. A few days to mourn their lost brothers properly. A few days to shower and enjoy some of the new socks they had received without the shadow of the next battle stretching over them. A constant presence that hung heavy with the silent acknowledgment that at least a few of them would not make it to see the end of the next month. The next week. The next day. The next hour. The next minute.
But, alas, war waited for no one. War did not stop for any one man. War did not care how tired and exhausted the troops were. War did not care about their grief and trauma. War demanded constant action.
And constant action is what Ki-Adi-Mundi and his troops gave it.
"Alright, the clankers should be just over this ridge," Bacara said, reviewing the intel report submitted by a scouting team a few hours prior. "They've got a village sitting directly in their line of fire."
"No doubt a tactic to stay our hand," Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "I don't suppose we can have you lead a larger squad of men from the west to draw their fire away from the village. Then Commander Jet can lead a smaller squad to evacuate the village."
Jet sighed and pinched his brow. "I'm not sure that's going to work, sir. They'll likely be expecting it."
"The scouts say they haven't put the villagers in any one location like they did on Ryloth," Bacara continued. "My guess is they're learning. They know now that if they put a bunch of people in one location, it makes mass evacuation easier."
"So they keep them in their homes," Ki-Adi-Mundi said.
"Jet would have to basically go door to door to get everyone out."
"Not to mention they might have clankers in each of those homes in case we do that exact strategy," Jet said, cursing under his breath.
"They haven't fired on the village yet," Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "Which means they're waiting for us to make the first move. Send another pair of scouts out. I want them to monitor their movements. We might be able to draw them away from the village with a big enough distraction but we need to know the makeup of the battalion we are dealing with."
"Yes, sir." Jet saluted and called out to Wrangler and Sammy to go scout the village.
The men waited. Nervous and itching for battle. Itching for this campaign to be over and done with so they could get some sleep and maybe a shower.
The impatience was nearly impossible to ignore. Ki-Adi-Mundi had tried to instill within them the value of sitting still. Of sitting in the moment and exercising patience. But even he was having trouble with this one. He hadn't slept in a bed for nearly a week and this was the last stronghold of droids on the planet. The campaign had been long and hard and he was sick and tired of being surrounded by death.
Besides, the longer they waited, the more likely innocents were to get hurt or die. The more likely a scouting party of droids would stumble upon their location and start attacking. The more likely things were to go wrong.
Finally, Sammy called in over the radio, breaking their silence. "Sir, you're not going to believe this. Get down here."
He furrowed his brow and looked to Jet and Bacara. Both of them seemed just as confused as he was.
"Sammy, are you suggesting we give away our position? As soon as we move, a group this large will be spotted by the droids."
Sammy let out a laugh. "You don't have to worry about the clankers, sir. The villagers took care of them for us."
"What?" Bacara said. "What do you mean?"
"I mean they've all been destroyed. Apparently, the latest episode of 'Creche to Command' had some advice on how to take care of them and they followed it."
All three of them exchanged glances.
"It might be a trap, sir," Jet said. "Can't the sith do freaky mind magic where they take over your mind?"
"Yes, Jet. They can use the force to manipulate the weak-willed into doing something."
"Think that's happening with Sammy?" Bacara asked.
"Probably not. We've had no indication that Dooku or Ventriss is on the planet. And at this point, I doubt either would show up."
"Still, it's too quiet. I don't like it," Bacara said, crossing his arms.
Ki-Adi-Mundi thought for a minute about how to best handle this.
"Bacara, Jet, you're with me. We'll move quietly towards the village from the East. The rest of the men should stay here and keep scanning for signs of droid activity."
"Yes, sir."
They moved through the forest carefully. Quietly. Crouched in the foliage that Ki-Adi-Mundi realized had a lot of activity. There was birdsong and small critters moving amongst the leaves of the trees. Scurrying through the underbrush.
That put him at ease. Animals were smart creatures. If there was danger nearby, they'd flee for safety. The fact that the forest seemed to be operating, as usual, meant that, at least to the animals, the danger had passed. It was the first time on this planet he had heard a bird sing.
It gave him hope.
Finally, they got to the edge of the clearing.
"Holy fucking shit," Jet said, freezing where he was crouched.
Ki-Adi-Mundi was not one for cursing, but he had to agree with his commander. In front of them was a pile of destroyed droids sitting right outside the city limits. The villagers were still working on dragging their beaten and broken bodies through the streets to throw them unceremoniously in the pile.
He spotted Sammy and Wrangler talking to who appeared to be the leader of the village.
"I don't think this is a trap, sir," Bacara said. "There's no way the Seppies would come up with something like this."
He commed one of the men back at base camp. "Any signs of any further droid armies on the planet's surface?"
"No, sir. It appears to be completely clean."
"Well, then. Let's go talk to our allies, men." He stood up and stepped out of the clearing.
Wrangler spotted them and waved them over. "Over here, sirs. You're not going to believe it. They took out the tactical droid first by bunging a big rock at it. Then they used ropes to trip up all the B2s and smash them to bits. Then they just started asking stupid questions to the B1s until they had the chance to blast them."
"That is pretty impressive," Ki-Adi-Mundi said.
"They're pretty lucky no droidekas were here," Sammy added. "Those ones are a bit harder to deal with."
"Still, an impressive feat." He turned to the village leader. "I am Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. And these are my commanders, Bacara and Jet."
The leader bowed to them slightly. "Gentlemen, I am pleased you are here."
"Thank you. I apologize for taking so long to come to your aid."
"Don't be sorry." He held up a hand. "We are happy to defend our home. And we are grateful the Republic forces sought to protect us at all." He pulled a tactical droid's head out from his robes. "I have been informed this might be of some use to your efforts."
He smiled and took it from him. "Yes, this is very useful. Thank you. Well, then, if you don't need any more help, my men and I will take my leave."
"Nonsense!" The leader gasped. "You have fought long and hard to defend my home. It would be a sin to cast you out without so much as a drink."
"Oh, it's not that big of a deal. It's kind of our job," Bacara said.
"Please, please. I insist. Come, my friends. Let us celebrate our victory. Provided you do not have anywhere else to be."
Technically, the battle was over and he should alert the Jedi council immediately for his next assignment. But… if they were to get their report a few hours later, it wouldn't be the end of the Republic.
"This was the only thing we had to do today," he replied with a smile. "And I think the men would enjoy a chance to rest after the campaign."
"Of course, of course! Call them all here. We should celebrate with a great feast!"
"I do like food," Jet mused.
"Then I shall call the others immediately. We thank you for your hospitality."
The leader laughed and led them all into the village. "As I said before. It is no problem. And now that we know how to defend ourselves, you can focus on winning the war."
Ki-Adi-Mundi needed to revise his earlier thoughts and musings on the nature of war. Sometimes, War did pause. It did give its soldiers a break. It did allow the men to rest and recover. And he would never take such a gift for granted.
*****
"How is it this hard to keep control over a group of clones and one little girl!" Palpatine shouted as he smashed a table through the window of Dooku's throne room.
Dooku winced. He had actually kind of liked that window. It was a lovely stained glass piece that reminded him of summer. He didn't say anything to his master.
The past week had been… challenging to say the least. First, the clones had somehow managed to convince the senate to give them representation. Yes, representatives didn't hold the same power in the Senate as proper senators, but the fact that it happened was enough to throw their carefully crafted plans into chaos.
And then, another episode of Creche to Command aired. An episode that told the citizens how to fight back against the droid army. And now they were. Both Republic and Separatists. Turns out, many of the citizens living in separatist systems weren't happy about being separatists. They didn't seem like they necessarily wanted to join the Republic, but they were still starting to fight back and that was a problem. A war with only two armies could be easily controlled. A war where the citizens were starting to fight back? Where the masses could rise up against the powers in charge and overthrow them? That was a bit of a bigger issue.
He had severely underestimated the power of the series. What had once seemed like an exercise in frivolity had morphed before his very eyes into a powerful tool of dissent. He was almost proud of the girl for achieving such a feat.
He knew Qui-gon would be.
And now, that small glimmer of hope that he had first sensed was growing. It was morphing. It was changing. The flames were reaching out and burning away the darkness. Darkness that had had a chokehold over the galaxy for decades.
And now, more than ever, he was certain she knew of its power. The latest videos were too planned out. Too focused on their content. A casual viewer might not realize it, but Ahsoka Tano was using this series purposefully now.
Once again, he had to give her begrudging credit. She was certainly smarter than she looked. More shrewd and cunning as well.
What had once seemed like an overreaction from his master he could no longer ignore. The series was dangerous. If they didn't get ahold of it soon, it might completely destroy everything they had worked towards.
"My lord," he said carefully, "it might be time for us to execute Order 66. If we wait much longer, we might completely lose control over the Senate."
Palpatine snarled. "No, that's a terrible idea. The Jedi are more loved now than ever. If we execute all of them, the public is going to ask questions. And with these insolent clones wandering around, showing that they care, people are going to be suspicious when they turn on them. Besides, I don't have enough power yet. I don't have enough control. It wouldn't be a civil transfer of power; it'd be a violent takeover. People don't react well to those."
Dooku was starting to think that Palpatine would never have enough power and control. There would always be people like Ahsoka Tano and Padme Amidala working directly against the dark side. They might be quiet. They might be hidden. They might be unknown. But they would always be there. And so long as one person held the light side of the Force in their hearts, there would always be a threat to Palpatine's power.
"Then activate the chip for one clone and have him execute the girl. It would turn the public's opinions on the clones and get rid of the problem."
Once more, Palpatine snarled at the suggestion. "You've seen how they act around her. She's one of their own. If one clone so much as thinks about harming her, they're going to want answers. They're going to start digging. We can't risk them finding out about the chips."
Dooku bit back the desire to sigh and roll his eyes. The plans weren't perfect, but at least he was coming up with them! All Palpatine was doing was complaining and breaking his windows.
"Then let me send my assassin after her directly."
"Your assassin has failed to kill her on multiple occasions. Targeting her specifically now will likely not yield much better results."
Alright. He kind of had a point on that one.
"A more aggressive campaign with General Grievous could yield a high body count," he said.
"I can't risk that." Palpatine shook his head. "Skywalker might get caught in the crossfire."
This time, Dooku really did roll his eyes. Skywalker, Skywalker, Skywalker. Palpatine was obsessed with Skywalker. Maybe if he didn't focus so much on Skywalker and instead focused on winning the fucking war he'd have his power by now.
Palpatine tapped his chin. "But… the girl's death would be the best option here."
Yes. Exactly. What he had been saying for the past twenty minutes! Sometimes it was like talking to a wall with this man.
"Skywalker is attached to her. It would push him further towards the dark side," Dooku agreed, desperate to come up with a plan and execute it so they could move on.
"And without their little leader, I doubt the clones would keep up with the series. Not to mention if we make her a martyr, we could use that."
He nodded. "It would galvanize more support for the war. The citizens would be clambering for more aggressive action so it could end more swiftly. Aggressive action that would require emergency powers to be signed over to you. And, because of her closeness with the clones, I doubt you'd have much resistance from that pathetic representative they have."
"Yes. Let's make her a martyr. Let's kill her in battle and use the platform she's built to turn the clones and the Republic towards extremism."
"But, if my assassin will not do, how will you kill her?" he asked. "I supposed I could go after her myself. I've killed many Jedi in the past. One little padawan shouldn't be much of an issue."
"No," Palpatine snapped. "You're too high profile in this war. To recognizable. If you kill her, the people and the clones have someone to direct their anger towards. Once you're gone, they'll likely feel as though justice has been served and continue on as normal. We need it to be more senseless. Make it appear more random. Gunned down by a random droid in the midst of battle. Something so commonplace and pathetic it can't possibly be pinned on one person."
Dooku's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure our forces could do that, though. They have yet to succeed and she's been in countless battles."
"They won't. But we can give someone the opportunity to make it look like an ordinary battle." Palpatine said. He pulled out a holoprojector and lower his head so his face was covered. "Bane, I require your services once more. I need you to assassinate Ahsoka Tano. I'll send you the details. Send me the price."
*****
CommanderWolffe: Corries, one of you better fucking answer!
CommanderThorn: Damn, y'all really sent like 50 messages to us
CommanderCody: Fox up and disappeared and no one would answer our calls for over an hour. Don't make us look unreasonable!
CommanderThire: Sorry about that. We needed to keep up on his paperwork while he was gone and man does he have a lot of paperwork.
CommanderGregor: What's going to happen when he actually starts being a representative? The paperwork's not going to go away.
CommanderThorn: Fuck. Didn't even think about that.
CommanderThire: We'll make a chore chart or something.
CommanderThorn: I'm starting to regret pushing Fox to go do this.
CommanderDoom: On an unrelated note, why the fuck was his hair so crusty?
CommanderThorn: We tried to slick it back so he'd look nice for Chuchi.
CommanderWolffe: Y'all can't see it, but I'm facepalming now.
CommanderThire: What? Why?
CommanderWolffe: She's already in love with him. You don't need to do anything to convince her. The one you have to convince is Fox. And I'm telling you, it's a lost cause. Just marry them. Have them buy a house together. He'll figure it out once the kids graduate from school.
CommanderThorn: We're not going to do that.
CommanderThire: I don't know. That might be our only option.
CommanderThorn: Oh, @CommanderWolffe, I wanted to ask for your help.
CommanderWolffe: Me? Wow! I'm so flatters /s
CommanderThorn: Listen, Fox wants to introduce some bill for us, didn't get all the details. If I send you a list of senators who are on the fence, would you be willing to… persuade them?
CommanderGree: You want him to break their kneecaps?
CommanderThorn: What? No! Is that how you persuade people?
CommanderGree: …
CommanderWolffe: Sure, send me a list. Can't promise you anything. I do have standards.
CommanderCody: Didn't you sleep with Dex?
CommanderWolffe: How dare you! That man totally meets my standards.
CommanderGregor: How?
CommanderWolffe: He has a lot of hands and he knows what to do with them.
CommanderDoom: So we're all just choosing to ignore the fact that Gree basically admitted he breaks people's kneecaps when he needs to persuade them.
CommanderCody: I'm not sure I want to know what he was trying to persuade them to do in the first place.
CommanderGree: Good. Don't ask questions. The less you know the better.
CommanderDoom: I really feel like we should be talking about this.
CommanderThire: Fox hasn't slept in three weeks so Corries have bigger fish to fry at the moment.
CommanderGregor: I don't care either way.
Notes:Y'all, when I saw that Bad Batch Episode with Chuchi and the clones I was like, "Filoni, you best not be coming for my fic". Lol, he has no idea who I am. But, like I said, this has been planned out from the beginning. A few things have been added or moved around, but it's all been leading to this.
Alright, so not a lot of hurt comfort this chapter. But the next chapter...
We'll see.
Maybe it'll be all sunshine and rainbows!
Anyways, here's a little something-something for y'all as thanks for reading through that massive chapter that gave me carpal tunnel.
Riyo, watching as Fox stares intensely at a wall: What must he be thinking about? Politics? His next debate? Or maybe it's something even more intense than that. Maybe he's thinking about all the fights he's been in or the scars he's gotten. sigh He's so dark and mysterious.
Fox: Dice said I was only allowed to have three cups of caf and a charger per hour. This is my third cup but Thorn went to the bathroom so if I chug it real fast I might be able to sneak in a fourth one before he gets back. Do I want to risk the third degree burns on the back of my throat? Yes. Yes I do.
Mando'a:
Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur: Today is a good day for someone else to die.
Oya!: Let's hunt, let's go, let's do this thing.
Vod: Brother
Vod'ika: Little brother/sister
Ad'ika: Little one
Ner: My