Chapter 18: Pest Control with Tech and Gree!Notes:Fun fact, this might be the last chapter with a video for a while ;) Things are happening ;) Things that will bring everyone involved happiness ;) I swear ;) I promise ;) I'm absolutely not planning to wreck everyone's emotions next chapter ;) This is simply a fluffy, fun fic that's got sibling bonding and cute romance ;) No pain here ;)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter TextFox decided now was as good of a time as any to give himself some brain damage. Maybe if he killed enough of his brain cells, he would be declared incompetent and sent back to Kamino to clean up damaged practice droids with the rest of the defective clones.
Why did he choose this?
Scratch that. "Choose" made it sound like he at one point wanted this. He didn't want to take that sort of responsibility.
Why did Cody and Wolffe force him to do this?
Yes, much better. Put all the blame on his batchmates so that he didn't have to take on any sort of responsibility. Why did Cody and Wolffe force him to become a politician?
He had been so, so happy as the Marshal Commander of the Coruscant Guard.
Okay, maybe not 'happy' but he was certainly less stressed if one could believe it. At any rate, he got fewer headaches back when the only thing he had to worry about were civilians throwing bottles at his men and trying to keep Coruscant from descending into chaos on a shoestring budget.
(Seriously, if his embezzlement investigation would hurry the fuck up, that would be great. He wanted to know what the fuck Palpadick was spending all their funds on. What the fuck was so important that he had to keep the Corries from getting new weapons, armor, or even just halfway decent socks?)
Yes, Fox was just about done with all this politician shit. Why did it seem as though everyone in the Senate was corrupt? Didn't they all want the same things? To help their people? God, he wanted to strangle half that Senate with his bare hands!
Hence why he was banging his head repeatedly on the desk. Well, was banging his head repeatedly on the desk. After a few bangs Vos (the absolute bastard) had put his hand right under Fox's head to keep him from hitting the shoddy wood. Probably a good thing. He was fairly certain this desk was held together with glue and the dreams of shinies who still slept eight hours a night. One good bang would send the entire thing crumbling.
Just like his hopes and dreams for a budget that would bulk up the med supplies sent to troopers on the front lines.
"Is that hurting your hand?" Riyo asked nervously.
"Immensely," Vos said cheerfully. How the fuck could he sound so happy all the time? "His head is way heavier and harder than it looks. Can you grab that quilt in the corner so we can put it under his head instead?"
"Yes, of course." The chair Riyo was sitting on scrapped against the ground.
She pulled off the quilt and let out a soft gasp as Fox's barely concealed tower of energy drink cans came tumbling to the ground. He needed to go through them and toss the ones that weren't keeping track of the blackout missions. There hadn't been any since the Jedi had started hanging around, which was both a blessing and a curse. Palpatine wanted the troopers to be doing something and quitting cold turkey like this was drying up Fox's leads faster than a single raindrop on Tattoine's sands. But at least no more shinies were getting traumitized after waking up and realizing they were missing hours of their lives.
Vos let out a whistle. "That is a lot of cans. I would say I'm proud of you, buddy. But I think your medic wants you to cut back."
For that comment alone, Fox slammed his head down on Vos' hand harder.
"Hah! It'll take more than that to get me to flinch, Fox. I once took a hammer to the hand. Torturers wanted information. I didn't give it to them, though. The hammer was a little overkill, in my opinion. And after they spent so long electrocuting me, I didn't feel much anyways." He still sounded so goddamn cheerful.
Fox eased up on the slamming but kept at it. It was the principle of the matter now.
"Oh, Representative, I'm so sorry about the budget," Riyo said, slipping the quilt onto the table to provide Fox's head with some cushioning.
"Rowni won't vote on the budget because he wants to build some casino colony on his moon that isn't currently allowed by Senate Bylaws because of some anti-gambling act from twenty years ago that's only intermittently enforced and will be enforced for Rowni because Jakar and Kilian currently have a monopoly on casinos in that area and have enough people on their side to enforce the codes. And so, because Rowni won't vote, Groen and Ha'ial won't vote either and that's what's stalling us?"
He didn't stop banging his head on the table for that entire speech. He was rather proud of himself for that. After he was done here, he was going to call Cody and Wolffe. He didn't care what fucking time it was or if they were in the middle of a battle. They were going to hear him bitch and moan about this because he had already bitched and moaned about it to Thorn, Thire, and Stone. And those three didn't deserve to hear all the problems of the world. But Cody and Wolffe? Oh, they fucking created problems. Ergo, they get to listen to Fox's numerous complaints. He had an itemized list and everything.
"I'm starting to worry about his brain health," Riyo whispered to Vos.
"Don't be. I'm monitoring him."
"Oh, through the force?"
"Yup." He popped the 'p' and came around to Fox's other side. Never a good sign. "Mantel Mix, Fox?" A bag of sickly-sweet-smelling stuff rattled in front of his nose.
He didn't answer.
"Come on. Some sugar might do you some good."
"Aren't those energy drinks packed full of sugar?" Riyo asked.
"Probably. You're right. He probably doesn't need sugar. Well, not the food kind of sugar, if you know what I'm saying."
Riyo let out a (adorable) squeak that got Fox to finally stop banging his head on the table. This was helping no one and his head was starting to hurt.
He glared at Vos. "Don't you have a crime family to track down? Or is your mission specifically to annoy me in every way possible?"
"I'm at a dead end." He popped some kernels of mantel mix in his mouth and hopped back up on the filing cabinet. Cody was right. Jedi didn't know how to sit in chairs properly.
"So, you're staring at me instead?"
"You entertain me." Vos grinned.
Yeah, no he hadn't given himself enough brain damage to deal with this shit. He started banging his head on the desk again.
"Representative Fox, please, it's not that bad. It's a setback, one that we can work with, not against," Riyo said.
He did feel bad for her. His actions were distressing to her, that much was clear. And he didn't like being the reason she was distressed. For some reason. He would ask his brothers what that reason might be but was afraid of the answer. If he made any mention of Riyo, that might give Bly and Cody a break. Couldn't have that. They needed to suffer. Especially Cody.
"If I kill enough of my brain cells maybe I'll be on par with the rest of the politicians in the Senate."
"Seriously, Fox, if you don't stop banging your head I'll go get Dice and he can shoot you up with that experimental sleeping potion he cooked up last week with what I'm pretty sure was a meth dealer. That shit'll knock you out for hours. You don't want that, do you?" Vos said.
"Dice is off now and back at the Barracks," Fox replied.
"Which is why he'll be extra spicy if I wake him up and drag him back here to take care of you. He won't even dose it out. He'll just shoot you in the neck with one of those tranq guns Skywalker's medics created."
Fox thumped his head on the desk one last time, feeling it wobble and shake under the weight of his head. Riyo was right. This was a setback and he needed to deal with it. Banging his head on the desk was getting him nowhere and he was worrying Riyo. Not only that, but the longer he sat there and acted like a child not getting his way, the longer it would take for them to come up with a solution. He was the Marshall Commander of the Coruscant Guard. If he could operate a police force on a quarter of the budget with a system so poorly maintained it would take them centuries to fix it, then he could figure this out.
Alpha-17 would be fucking disappointed in him right now. He'd be smacking him upside the head and then shouting at him to go do some burpees until he pulled himself together. He was a clone trooper! Designed and trained to be better than anyone else in the galaxy. Sure this wasn't a front-line battle with guns and droids and ion canons, but it was a battle all the same. He had forgotten what he was good at, what he was trained for. He was one of the only clone marshal commanders in the GAR and he would be damned if he let some slick politician get in the way of his aspirations over a fucking Casino.
He stood up suddenly and started to pace the room.
"Right. Rowni is the lynchpin in all of this. He's the one holding up the vote and refusing to budge. Either we give him his casino, or we remove the increase in the GAR's budget. Is that correct?"
"Um, yes," Riyo said, slightly taken aback by Fox's sudden change. Her cheeks seemed to be darker than normal. Was she coming down with something? Maybe they should get Dice here to check her out. And Vos. He had been avoiding the med bay too.
"What are his arguments for not increasing the GAR's medical budget?"
Riyo muttered to herself and shuffled through her notes. "We're already spending quadrillions of credits on the GAR and the war, cutting necessary funding to other programs like senior and disability care, and schooling."
"He's never cared about those things before," Fox said.
"It's an act. He can't say the actual reason or else he might get voted out of office. It's an election year on his planet and he doesn't want to risk alienating his people." She explained.
Right. Seemed like a stupid reason. If you weren't doing a good job, then you deserved to be voted the fuck out. That's why people voted for their senators. But, if that was the way politics operated, then that's the way it operated. Fox had to adapt.
"The vote is coming up soon. If we delay it, then we look bad?" he ventured.
Riyo nodded. "Correct. I know you worry about your brothers, and Ahsoka's injuries are proof that there is not enough of the budget set aside, but Rowni has points to, valid points. Since the war started, literacy rates throughout the Republic have dropped nearly five percent on average. And care homes are being overwhelmed, leading to increased rates of abuse and neglect. And the further you get from the core worlds, the worse it gets. I've heard horror stories of mines and factories starting to use child labor because there aren't enough funds for oversight or schools are shutting down leaving parents with nowhere else to put their children."
"Any other negotiations from other critics that we can concede to?"
"Not any that won't cause a bigger issue or aren't immoral and reprehensible," Riyo scoffed, looking furious at the thought. "You can look through them and decide if you're willing to agree to their terms. However, I have decided I will not be a part of it. My people's needs are important too. As much as I would love to make you and your brothers a priority, I cannot only think of them."
Fox nodded. "I understand. Nor would I expect you to. I worry about the medical care, though. It seems to be getting worse the longer the war goes on. It will bite the Chancellor in the ass eventually. The Republic might see us clones as being replaceable, and maybe on some level, we are. But it takes time to train soldiers up to our standards. I bet you ten credits most natborns wouldn't last a day with the Alpha class running their programs. What happens if we all die? What happens if the Jedi all die?"
That was the other thing that bothered Fox about this whole issue. The lack of medical care seemed to go directly against Palpatine's wishes to win the war. Already the Jedi numbers had been culled significantly since the start of the war. The Jedi were much better at dealing with smaller conflicts. One-on-one fights or negotiating peace. In large-scale wars like this… they weren't soldiers. They were academics. Bodyguards if Fox was being truly charitable. And the midochlorian count it took to qualify to become a Jedi was so high it made their numbers small.
It was almost as if Palpatine was trying to thin the Jedi herd. He had already shown that he had no problems killing Ahsoka if that's what it took to keep his plans on track. And if he was trying for something the Jedi wouldn't agree with, they might step in to stop him. He wished Wolffe's contacts would hurry the fuck up and give him something on Tarkin. Maybe once they had tangible proof that Palpatine was, indeed, a Palpadick, they could go to the Jedi like Cody had originally wanted and end the war and Senate corruption in one fell swoop.
He made a mental note of his theory. Damn, this conspiracy seemed to get more and more tangled with each passing day. At this point, Fox wondered if Palpatine even knew what the ultimate plan was.
"Why not get 'Soka to do an episode on it?" Vos suggested. "That'd get the calls rolling in. Isn't that how you passed the name bill, food bill, and then the clothing amendment?"
Fox narrowed his eyes as he watched Vos summon a crumpled energy drink can into his hand. His face gave away nothing and after a few seconds of running his fingers over it, he threw the can back onto the ground and summoned another one.
'Investigating a Crime Family' his ass. That man was investigating Fox, and not being very subtle about it. Now the only question was if he wanted Fox to know or was just really bad at his job. For some reason, and Fox couldn't explain why, he believed it to be the former.
Yet one more thing for Fox to keep track of. Maybe he should just sit Cody, Vos, and Palpatine all in a room together and say 'Look, we're all suspicious of each other so just out with it. Everyone tells everyone else their plans and conspiracies so we can get this shit out in the open and fight it out like real men.'
"You're right. It would get the calls rolling in," Fox said, collapsing back into his chair he was pretty sure Thire had dug out of the trash when they first got to Coruscant. "And I don't want that to happen yet without a plan. Right now, we're in too deep and these budget negotiations have to be finished within the next week. Besides, the troopers have all decided we won't force her to do anything. We don't want her to be our propaganda. She didn't ask for that."
Riyo smiled softly at him and put her hand on his arm. Even through the armor, he thought he could feel the heat from her skin. It felt nice.
"Besides, it's my fault for waiting so long. If we wanted to ensure the med budget would increase, I should have had her working on this during the recess or even beforehand to build public pressure. I was too conservative and waited too long. Now I am suffering from those consequences."
Alpha did always say that was his weakness in training. He liked to have all the information before he made a decision. You never could get all the information, though. And many times as a cadet he failed his squad by waiting too long or fretting over the moves to make. Cody and Wolffe helped temper his hesitance somewhat. Wolffe because he didn't like to wait for anything and Cody because he seemed to be a good balance between waiting for information and making a move.
Riyo squeezed his arm. "You have many other issues you are trying to deal with. I'm sorry, but every good politician learns the hard way that you can't fix all the issues at once. Sometimes you can't fix all the issues even if you work on them at different times."
"I know. Believe me, I know," Fox sighed. "I prioritized the wrong things this session, and now brothers are going to die because of it. We don't have enough bacta. We don't have enough antiseptic sprays. Hell, at this point I think some battalions have turned to tearing up sheets and blacks to create more bandages."
"It's that bad?" Vos asked, summoning another energy drink can to him.
Fox nodded.
"Well, sorry, buddy. Life's rough and decision-making sucks. You make the choices based on what you know. And sometimes those choices are wrong. Don't focus on the past. Release your anger and frustrations into the Force, and start planning what you'll do next," he said.
The words did help Fox. He was right. He couldn't change the past. All he could do was learn from it and make smarter decisions moving forward.
Fox pulled over a datapad and typed out some notes. "I'll hold a commander's meeting tomorrow or the next day and see what the troopers are willing to give up. If I can rework the money that everyone's already agreed to, I might at the very least be able to swing some more disinfectants. Especially if they're going to be ripping up bedsheets."
"It's a temporary solution," Riyo said, "but it might buy us time to start negotiating for a mid-year budget reevaluation. If you can get tangible data that shows the troopers don't have enough medical supplies, then we might be able to sway some people who are on the fence. It will look bad if the troops are ripping up their clothes for bandages."
"Sounds good. Well, not good but it sounds like a better path forward than waiting another year for a meager increase that'll mostly go towards fuel," Fox said, scribbling down Riyo's suggestions in his notes as well.
"Aw, look at you two," Vos grinned, "making so many decisions. I hate making decisions. Which is why I'm so glad I'm not on the Jedi Council." He shuddered.
Fox snorted as the air in the room became less tense. He was done talking about politics for now. He had earned riling up Vos and making fun of him.
"As if they'd ever ask you."
"Hey now," Vos pressed a hand to his chest and gasped as if the accusation offended him. "I have gone out of my way to make myself as undesirable to the Jedi Council as possible. Pure slut energy here."
Riyo's cheeks darkened once more and she gave a little laugh, pressing her hand to her mouth. "I'm sure that was a great sacrifice to make, master Jedi," she teased.
"One must do, what one must do. Obi-Wan tried as well but he's too morally righteous to truly pull it off. I'm pretty sure that man could star in a porno and then physically hand it to the other council members and they'd still want him. I told him negotiating the end of a civil war when you're thirteen and then chopping the first Sith anyone's seen in a thousand years in half made you prime council material. He didn't believe me." Vos sighed dramatically, draping himself over the cabinets like a fainting heroine on the cover of those romance novels General Unduli seemed to love so much.
But it wasn't Vos' theatrics that caught Fox's attention.
"Wait what?"
"What to what? The war thing or the Sith thing?"
"Um, both. What was that about?"
Vos pushed himself up. "Oh yeah, it was this whole mess. Both of them were. Obi-Wan's been involved in messes since he was born. There was the Xanatos mess. The Bruck mess. And don't get me started on Geonosis. I mean, if you're going to be chained to a pole for entertainment the least you could do is show some skin. Am I right?" He winked at Riyo, who giggled again.
"You Jedi do seem to get yourselves in a lot of trouble."
"Just the handsome ones." He winked at her again.
"So I suppose that means trouble stays as far away from you as it possibly can," Fox responded.
"Hey now! I'll have you know that I am a very handsome man. Plenty of people tell me."
"Uh-huh, I'll believe it when I see it," Fox said. He thought back to Vos's brief rundown of Kenobi's past messes. "Gods, no wonder Cody's tripping over his own feet for Kenobi."
That got Vos to sit up very straight, so straight in fact that he smacked his head on the ceiling. He made no notice of it. "Seriously? Cody's got the hots for Obi-Wan?" He rubbed his hands together and cackled. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun."
"Don't fuck with my brother, Vos." The brothers could make fun of Cody's little crush all they wanted. But that was not allowed for any outsiders.
"I'm not going to fuck with him. I'm just going to gossip with you about them. I need to know if my friend's potential suitor is worthy."
Riyo laughed again. The only reason Fox was currently putting up with this was because he did like hearing Riyo laugh. She didn't do it enough. He supposed the pressures of her job weighed her down almost as much as it weighed him down. Maybe even more.
"I don't gossip," Fox said.
"You're doing it now."
He glared at him.
"Alright, alright, alright." Vos hopped off the top of the filing cabinet and slid an arm around Fox's shoulders. "What if I just want to ask you about potential gifts to send to dear Commander Cody?"
"What sorts of gifts?"
Vos gave him a grin that could only spell trouble. "Well, I may or may not be in possession of a photo of Obi-Wan on Geonosis chained to a pole."
"How do you have a photo of that?" Fox asked. "I thought he, Skywalker, and Amidala were mostly free by the time the troopers dropped in."
"They were taking pictures for propaganda purposes and I happened to snag one. So, what do you say? Think your brother would like that?"
Fox grinned. "I think it'll kill Cody outright. But that's okay. I'm kind of pissed at him at the moment. I'll give you his comm code."
"Yeah! I knew you were a sly bastard somewhere inside," Vos said. "And don't worry. I'm working with the rest of the guys to help you out too."
He patted Fox on the shoulder and slid off to go back to the filing cabinets.
"Wait, what?"
"Don't worry about it." Vos winked at him.
"No, I should worry about it, what does that mean?" He looked to Riyo.
She shrugged and gave him a shy smile. "Sorry, I don't know what he's planning. I swear I'm not involved in any way."
Just as Fox was starting to plan ways to get back at Vos (after he sent Cody the pictures, however) there was a knock at the door.
A shiny who had started going by the name Robin stepped through the door. The kid was so new he still wasn't sure how to act in front of Fox, Riyo, and Vos, seeming to be constantly near panic attacks every time he had to talk to one of them. If he didn't shake it off soon, Fox was going to have to ask if Vos could get a mind healer over here to help him deal with the anxiety.
"Um… sorry to bother you, sirs. I know this meeting is important and I wouldn't interrupt if this wasn't also important and Commander Thire did tell me to go get you and it was alright—"
"Trooper," Fox said, "get to the point. What does Thire need?"
Robin snapped into a salute, posture rigid and stiff in a desperate attempt to hide his nervous shaking. "Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to waste your time, sir. Commander Thire doesn't need anything, sir. There's… there's someone here to see you. I think? We think? Sir."
"At ease, trooper," Fox said.
Robin turned his head slightly towards Vos. Technically, he wasn't their general, but he was still a Jedi and therefore of a higher rank than Fox. A lot of the shinies didn't know how to handle that.
"Relax, man," Vos said. "We're all friends here."
Robin dropped his hand but did not relax. Well, it was better than a week ago at least.
"You think someone is here to see me?" Fox asked. "How can you not know? What did they say?"
"He doesn't speak basic, sir. Commander Thire thinks he's speaking Huttese but none of us can be sure, sir."
This got both Vos's and Fox's attention. Immediately the air in the room shifted from a friendly atmosphere to something much more serious and intense. Even Riyo sat up straighter.
"Huttese?" she asked. "A Hutt is here?"
"No, sir. Not a Hutt, sir. A twi'lek, sir," Robin said.
"Shit. Our protocol droid's been out for almost a month now," Fox said, scrambling to try and figure out a way to talk to this man. "You speak it?" he asked Vos.
Vos shook his head.
"Your work is all about gangsters and criminals? How can you not speak the one language of the biggest band of gangsters in the galaxy?"
"I don't speak every language, Fox! I'm not Obi-Wan, damn." Vos threw his hands in the air.
"I'm sorry, sir," Robin squeaked.
"No, don't apologize, it's not your fault. It's the fault of whoever thought it was a good idea to put a bunch of troopers in charge of the criminals of Coruscant and not teach us basic language skills," he said, trying to keep his calm. Amidala's droid could speak Huttese if he remembered correctly. How long would it take to get here, though?
"I could see if some of my contacts are around to translate," Vos said, pulling out comm.
Fox pinched his brow and took a deep breath to center himself. "Wait, wait, wait. Everyone just wait," he commanded.
Once the flurry of activity had ceased, he let himself think for a second.
"Robin?"
"Yes, sir?" The kid snapped back into a salute.
"Is the twi'lek alone?"
"Yes and no, sir," Robin said.
"How can it be both?" God this kid was maddening. Thire needed to send him someone who wasn't shiny next time.
"He came alone into the building, but we think there are… bodyguards of some sort hanging around, sir. We don't know what ship bay he came into, because we can't talk to him, sir. So, we don't know if he has any men there either, sir."
"But he's currently alone in the waiting room of our base?"
"That's correct, sir."
"Is he armed?"
"No, sir. We did a full body scan and pat down, sir. No weapons. No bombs. He's also being very cooperative, sir."
He didn't know what to make of that. This man had to work for the Hutts. Pretty much the only people who spoke nothing but Huttese worked for the Hutts. At the very least he was from Tattoine, which did not bode well. He was being cooperative and didn't carry any weapons. What could he want with the Corries?
"Get me Thire," Fox commanded. What he was about to do was very much against the reg manuals and asking Robin to do that would likely lead to a nervous breakdown he didn't have time for at the moment.
"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." Robin scampered off.
"And quit apologizing for everything! You did nothing wrong!" Fox called after him.
"Sorry, sir," Robin shouted again.
He sighed and slumped back in his chair. And here he was hoping the night was winding to a close and he might be able to get a solid two hours of sleep. The universe enjoyed torturing him.
"Do you need us to go?" Riyo asked.
It probably would be for the best, especially considering what he was about to do. But he also wanted to take this opportunity to test the two of them. See if they were willing to look the other way to get shit done. He wasn't going to put anyone's life in danger. And if they were going to be ousting Palpatine eventually, he needed to be sure that Vos and Riyo were willing to break the rules. He needed to be sure that they wouldn't simply follow Palpatine or the Senate because that was the law.
"No, no. Give me a minute to figure this out," he said. "I'm sure it's nothing. Or it's one of Wolffe's fucking schemes."
Maybe this was how he'd get the information on Tarkin. Maybe this was Wolffe's contact. A bit worrying that he was chummy with someone who likely worked for the Hutts, but if it worked it worked.
Thire stepped into the room. "General, Senator," he said, acknowledging Riyo and Vos with a nod.
Vos looked like he wanted to vomit at being called 'general'.
"Robin told you about the twi'lek?" Thire said, turning back to Fox.
"He did. He also told me the guy doesn't speak basic."
"Can't or won't. A bit hard to figure out. He's not fighting us and he's got nothing illegal on him. Of course, we have no idea how he got here so we can't sweep his ship. I can throw him out on his ass, sir."
"No, I want to know why he's here."
Thire snorted. "Unless you've been learning Huttese in your spare time—and let's face it, you have no spare time – then I don't know how that's going to happen."
"You underestimate my abilities to get shit done with no support." Fox scoffed. "Do we still have that drug dealer in Interrogation 3?"
"The one dealing psychedelics at that over-sixties rave?" Thire's bucket was on so Fox couldn't read his expression, but just by the tone of his voice he could tell Thire was somehow both curious and suspicious.
"Over sixties?" Vos asked. "Like, sixty people?"
"Sixty-year-olds," Thire said. "There's a surprisingly robust network of old people getting high on Coruscant. Mostly psychedelics and shrooms. We usually leave them alone because they're not hurting anyone but this guy dealt to some senator's grandmother so she's pissed and wanted him arrested."
"The Coruscant underworld is a fascinating place," Vos said. "Get me his contacts. I have a few Jedi Masters that are impossible to shop for Life Day."
"So you're going to give them drugs?" Riyo asked.
As of right now, they seemed to be taking the drug thing surprisingly well. And it sounded like the Jedi were down to do some illegal shit. Maybe he had more allies than he originally thought.
"Just a few of them. The fun ones. They've had to cut down since the war started, though. Hard to lead troops into battle when you're high off your ass."
"Glad to know they're taking our safety seriously," Fox grumbled.
"Very seriously," Vos said, his smile dropping.
Fox turned back to Thire before they could get off topic again. "Is he still here?"
"Yes, sir," Thire replied.
"Great. Tell him we'll let him go if he translates for us."
"Can you do that?" Riyo asked.
Fox shrugged. "No, but we are so understaffed and overwhelmed that I'm willing to let one elderly mushroom dealer go if he can get whatever bullshit's coming through my front door out of here. Besides, we mostly did it to appeal to some rich people. If Palpatine wants everyone to be booked at a reasonable time, he'd give us more resources."
Riyo still seemed worried and uncomfortable by his logic. Vos seemed perfectly fine with it. Thire didn't question anything and scampered off.
"And someone bring the Hutt in here!" he shouted.
"Not a Hutt, just someone that speaks Huttese," a trooper remarked as he passed by the open office door.
Fox sent him his harshest glare that had the trooper wilting into a salute.
"Right away, sir," he said before rushing off to do just that.
A few seconds later, a white twi'lek came through the door. Fox suppressed a shiver upon looking at his sharpened teeth and red eyes. Thank the gods Secura didn't look like that or else he'd have to question Bly's infatuation with her.
More importantly, Fox immediately recognized the man standing in his room now. How could he not? His finger twitched ever so slightly, wanting to reach for his helmet and put it on. He had gotten used to not having it on whenever talking politics. Now he felt naked without it.
One blaster at my hip, another at my calf. Vibro knife sheathed in my forearm. Vos is armed with his lightsaber. Riyo's not, though. Her guards are right outside but she's not armed. Should have asked Wolffe to hand her a knife or two while he was passing them out like candy to the padawans. Robin said he was unarmed but they weren't sure about any disguised guards.
Fox ran through the situation in his head, trying to see all the possibilities and create strategies for each of them. The first goal would be to keep Riyo safe if the man tried anything. Hopefully, Vos could actually fight and could help Fox out with that.
"Shit," Vos said quietly. "Fox, that's—"
"I know," Fox said.
The twi'lek smiled at them, predatory and sharp. Vos came around to Riyo's side, his hand resting on the hilt of his lightsaber. His other was down by his side but it wasn't relaxed. Fox could see his plan now: Activate the lightsaber with one hand and use the other to do shit with the Force.
The twi'lek turned to Fox and bowed deeply, speaking in Huttese.
"I'm sorry, sir. I don't understand. You're going to have to wait for a translator," Fox said, keeping his voice calm and even.
His posture was rigid; muscles tensed just in case he needed to kick the table over to act as some sort of barrier. He did his best to keep his trepidation hidden. Luckily, he had a lot of practice. The man had nothing compared to the presence of Palpatine. If Fox could get through a whole meeting with him and not let it slip that he was nervous, then one of Hutt's lackeys would be a piece of cake.
The man responded in what may as well have been gibberish to Fox's ears.
"Please, have a seat. He'll be with us shortly," Fox said. He gestured to an empty chair in front of his desk.
Men who were sitting down were easier to take out. And with the chair positioned where it was, if Fox needed to, he could flip the desk over and knock the man's pointy teeth out.
Either the twi'lek did understand Basic or Fox's gestures were universal. Either way, he sat down, nodding to Riyo and Vos as he did so.
No one said anything. The twi'lek seemed happy and relaxed in the chair, humming to himself. The rest of them were stiff and practically suffocating under the knowledge of all that could go wrong.
"Who is he?" Riyo whispered to Vos.
The twi'lek turned to her and smiled once more. Fox wanted to punch his teeth in.
"He works for Jabba the Hutt," Vos whispered back as if the twi'lek wasn't sitting right next to them. "And he is very high ranking in the organization. At least, that's the last I heard. Things change."
There was a knock at the door, snapping Fox back to the presence.
Thire entered with an elderly trandoshan.
"As requested, sir," Thire said. He took up guard by the door. His line of sight gave him an unobstructed view to the window so he could watch for anyone hiding out on rooftops waiting to take a shot.
"I hear you youths need help translating," the trandoshan said, shuffling through the door. He looked around the room and tutted. "No chair for the old man? Shame on you. Expecting me to stand. When I was your age, I showed the elderly some respect."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. Please, have my seat," Riyo said, getting up from the chair.
Vos gently took her elbow to pull her towards the corner of the room behind Fox's desk, his hand never leaving his lightsaber.
The old man tutted again. "Expecting a lady to give up her chair? One of the men should stand up. It's only polite. Do they not teach manners anymore?"
"Not where I'm from," Fox growled. Seriously, he was not about to ask Jabba's secretary or whatever he was to stand up and he sure as hell wasn't about to stand either. It wasn't his fault Thire had only dug two extra chairs out of the trash.
"See, this is the problem with youth today. They learn no manners. They're all obsessed with the latest fashion trends and holodramas. Back in my day, respect was highly valued. Not anymore. Why, just the other day I was crossing the street with my groceries, and no one offered to help me! Too busy with their noses in their comms and datapads. It's a miracle more of them don't get hit by speeders."
Fox was very proud of the fact that he didn't roll his eyes. Seriously, though, the Kaminoans couldn't give a rat's ass about teaching them manners. All that mattered was that they could kill things, kill them quickly, and kill them well.
"Sir, please. We need you to translate Huttese for us. And make it as close as possible," Fox said.
The man waved a dismissive hand at him. "Kids these days. Always in a hurry to get things. Who in this room speaks Huttese?"
"The twi'lek," Fox growled. "Please, just translate for him. Ask him what he's doing here."
"Ask him what he's doing here?"
"That's correct," Fox said through gritted teeth.
"Why don't you ask him what he's doing here?"
He was pretty sure he cracked a tooth with how hard he was clenching his jaw. "Because no one in this room speaks Huttese. Please." He could argue with senators about sentient rights all day, but somehow this man was going to break him.
"Ah, I see. You know, I learned Huttese from a girl way back when."
Everyone in the room (except for the twi'lek) groaned.
The dealer paid no attention and started fishing around his pocket. "She used to work at this lovely little café that wasn't far from here. It's gone now. Changed to some place called the 'Sugar Shack'. This whole neighborhood's gone to the rats, I swear. Her café, it was called 'Tea Leaves and Muffins'—"
A wholly unoriginal name for a café in Fox's opinion.
"Was the perfect little place to relax and enjoy. But that 'Sugar Shack'—Bah! Nothing but scum and rule breakers."
"Sir, please, translate for us," Fox begged.
"Alright. Alright. No need to get testy with me, young man." He finally pulled something out of his pocket and popped it into his mouth. He turned to Riyo. "Strawberry crème candy, sweetheart?"
Where the hell did he get that? Did Thire not pat down this man at all? Standards were slipping. Fox would have them run drills tomorrow. He still had Alpha's old punishment program. Maybe a few rounds of 'Acid Bath' would whip them into shape.
Riyo put on her friendliest 'I'm not actually being friendly but I don't want to upset you' smile. "No thank you, sir."
He shrugged. "Fair enough." He turned to the twi'lek and said something.
The twi'lek said something back.
Instead of telling Fox what the twi'lek said, the trandoshan said something once more. To which the twi'lek responded. Back and forth. Back and forth.
"Is he telling you his whole life story? Just ask him what the fuck he's doing here," Fox said.
"Watch your mouth, young man. There's a lady present."
This time Fox did roll his eyes. He once witnessed Riyo go on a minutes-long swear-fest that would make most brothers blush after a senator asked her to go get him coffee while at a meeting.
The twi'lek said one last thing.
The dealer nodded and turned back to Fox. "Right, he said the Hutts are big fans of a holonet series. Oh, dreadful things. They're rotting the brains of the youths. My granddaughter watches them all the time. Hardly reads books anymore. What will the galaxy come to if we raise a bunch of soft-brained idiots who need constant flashing lights to hold their attention?"
"What holonet series and what does this have to do with him being here?" Fox didn't even pretend like he wasn't trying to cut the man off.
The dealer humphed. "Something by some girl named Ahsoka Tano. Probably a 'beauty guru' or whatever the kids say these days. How is that even a job? 'Influencer'? That's the sign of a failing society, that we even have that as a job. Pretty girls paid to do nothing more than lounge around in bikinis in oceans or by pools and tell us all about products that we don't need."
"Ahsoka Tano isn't an influencer, she's a Jedi," Fox snapped. This was a mistake. This was a big mistake. They should have just waited for Amidala's neurotic protocol droid. "What about Ahsoka's series? Why is he here?"
"Oh. She's a Jedi?" the man appeared to have swallowed his tongue.
"Yes. And I would like to know why the Hutts are interested in her. Please. Keep on topic."
Fox was going to have to start threatening his men with listening to this old codger's speeches whenever they pissed him off. There were only so many times one could clean the latrines before they became so clean that no one minded cleaning them. And Monnk wasn't on the planet right now for his brothers to clean out his slimy-ass gear.
The dealer turned back to the twi'lek and had another fucking conversation.
Fox was very proud of himself that he didn't start banging his head on the desk again. The quilt was still there. He could still do it.
"Right, the Hutts are big fans of her series. They have been since she saved his son."
"Oh yeah," Vos said. "Obi-Wan told me about that mission. He was so proud."
"They are also not big fans of some man named Bane?"
This got everyone's attention. Fox sat up straighter, now hanging onto every word the man said.
"According to him, the Hutts don't like him because he helped break out None."
And just like that, Fox was back to being confused. "None?"
"Yes. None. None of what, I don't know. I asked for clarification, but he just keeps insisting that they don't like him because he helped break out Nothing the Hutt. Or None the Hutt, depending on who's translating."
"Nothing… the… Hutt?" Fox tested the words, trying to figure out if this was all just a very elaborate plan to drive the Coruscant guards insane with a wild goose chase for something that, literally, was nothing.
"Um," Riyo said softly, stepping forward. "Sorry to intrude, but is another potential translation Zero? Zero the Hutt?"
"Oh! Yes, smart. You're right. Zero the Hutt. Not that that makes any more sense."
"How'd you know about Zero?" Vos asked.
Riyo gave him a nervous smile. "Padme told me all about her standoff with him."
Fox scoffed. "I wish she had fucking waited for us or told us where she was going."
"Language," The dealer scolded.
"Fuck you, you're a fucking drug dealer. Don't act like you're morally superior to me." He groaned and pinched his brow. He was more confused now than when they had started. "Alright, so they don't like Bane, they don't like Zero, and they like Ahsoka. Why. Is. He. Here?"
The dealer turned back and started talking to him.
"Oh, for the love of god, it's one question!" This might actually break Fox. Palpatine may not be able to break him. The stress may not be able to break him. Prime hadn't been able to break him. But this dealer talking to this fucking twi'lek definitely would.
"Patience is a virtue, boy," the dealer snapped. "The Great Jabba the Hutt saw the episode with Candle and Cook Food."
Fox must be going crazy from lack of sleep and too much caffeine. That was the only explanation as to why none of this was making any sense.
"What?" he said.
"That's what he said. "The Great Jabba the Hutt saw the episode with Candle and Cook Food. That's why he's here."
He turned to Thire. "What episode had candles and food in it?"
"Um, the mess hall one had food, but they didn't cook anything and there were no candles." Great. Even Thire was confused. On the upside, that meant Fox wasn't going crazy from lack of sleep. On the downside, that meant no one in this room had any idea what the twi'lek was talking about.
"Are you sure you speak Huttese?" Fox asked.
"Yes. Don't you question me. I was speaking Huttese before you were a twinkle in your daddy's eye."
"I don't have a father," Fox said. "What happened in the episode that made him come here?"
Despite the long conversation they were having, the dealer had yet to answer the original question. Was it too late to arrest him again?
The dealer turned back to the twi'lek and they started talking again. At this point, Fox just let them jabber on. Maybe if they talked long enough they'd tell him what he wanted to know.
"So," the dealer said, turning back to Fox, "Candle and Cook Food talked about this man called Bane—"
"Waxer and Boil!" Thire said. "That's what he means. Waxer and Boil, not Candle and Cook Food."
The dealer glared at him.
"Sorry." He returned to his position by the door, a statue that was constantly observing just in case he had to pull his blaster and start firing.
"Candle and Cook Food talked about Bane," the dealer continued, "and this sparked the Great Jabba the Hutt's interest because he hates Bane and likes Ahsoka Tano."
Things were starting to make themselves very clear and Fox found himself getting excited. A tip! Waxer and Boil's stupid episode had garnered them a tip on Bane!
"Does he know where Bane is?" Fox asked.
The dealer repeated the question to the twi'lek who responded.
"He is here on Coruscant."
"Fantastic!" Fox said, clapping his hands together and feeling a huge wave of relief wash over him.
He, like everyone else, had been worried about sending Ahsoka back to the front lines while Bane was still at large. If Jabba's information was good, and he was assuming it was, then they could arrest the bastard and help keep Ahsoka just a little safer. They might even be able to interrogate him and get some dirt on Palpatine or Dooku that might help win the war.
"Where did he see him?"
"In handcuffs on his ship."
"Wait, what?"
The twi'lek said something.
"The Great Jabba the Hutt, upon hearing of Ahsoka Tano's injury and who caused it, sent out his personal bounty hunters to retrieve the cowardly bastard who dared go after his son's savior. They didn't know how to get ahold of you, so they just brought him here."
"There was a tip line and instructions in the video description," Thire said.
Neither the twi'lek nor the dealer responded to that.
Fox just stared, opened mouthed at the pair in front of him as his brain struggled to comprehend the news. "I… you… Jabba caught Cad Bane?"
The twi'lek nodded and smiled at him.
"That… you were supposed to submit tips, not… not go after him on your own."
"No offense, but does it really matter?" the dealer said. "Kids these days, so ungrateful. It sounds to me like this here Jabba the Hutt did your job for you. And you're complaining?"
"Yeah, because now I owe the Hutts and I don't want to owe them anything," Fox said.
The twi'lek said something.
"He says you owe the Great Jabba nothing. He is doing this to repay Ahsoka Tano for her deeds and also to thank her for providing endless entertainment for his son. Are you sure this young lady isn't an influencer? She sounds like an influencer."
"Yes. No. It's complicated," Fox groaned. "So we don't owe Jabba any favors? This is a pro bono bounty capture?"
"That is correct. Now then, do you want the Hutt Ambassadors to cut off Cad Bane's limbs or do you want to do that yourself?"
Fox was surprised that he wasn't more surprised at the offer. "We'll cut his limbs off later. Thank you for the offer, though."
They were going to cut off his limbs never, but he didn't want to tell the twi'lek that in case he decided Bane still needed to be punished for Zero's escape. Right now, he needed Bane in as good of health as possible for the interrogation.
The twi'lek seemed pleased with this and spoke a few more words.
"He says to tell Ahsoka Tano that if she ever needs anyone to disappear, just let them know."
Fox gave him a tight, politician smile that he had spent the past few weeks perfecting. Something polite and neutral so as not to offend anyone or anything. He was not letting Ahsoka anywhere near the Hutts and he was going to ask Wolffe if he could use his contacts to keep an eye on the gangsters.
"I'll let her know."
"And he also wants Candle and Cook Food to have the hat."
"Sure thing. Thank you for your help in getting this dangerous man off the streets." He turned to Thire. "Round up a few men and go get Cad Bane. I want this kept in-house until we have him secured in our facilities. No need to alert his employers that he's here just in case they try to kill him. Put him in protective custody with twenty-four-hour guards. He's not to go anywhere near Gen Pop until we've had a chance to interrogate him."
Fox did not glance up at the camera in the corner of the room. Palpatine was watching, recording everything. As soon as he heard that Bane was in Corrie Custody, he'd probably try to kill him. The thing that worried Fox, though, was just how long they could keep this under wraps. If they waited too long, it'd look suspicious. To Palpatine and the public. There was also no telling how active the monitoring was. If someone was watching him right now, they'd know about Bane and potentially act fast, gunning Bane down during transport to the prison. They had to move fast.
"Vos, can you go with Thire and interrogate Bane tonight? I'll get started on the paperwork here so we can submit it first thing in the morning. I don't think Bane will tell us what we don't already know but I want to make sure."
"Of course," Vos said.
Fox turned to the twi'lek. "Is it okay if we don't give Jabba credit? We simply say an anonymous tip led to his capture. We don't know who hired him and we don't want anyone targeting you."
That and he didn't want it to be known that the Corries were collaborating with the biggest gangsters in the galaxy.
"Do whatever you need to do, Commander," the dealer translated.
"Thank you. If that's all you need, sir, please let Thire's team escort Bane to our lockup. Sir, you are free to go. Please do not repeat what was said in this room."
"Of course. Do I get my stash back? A man's got to make a living."
"No," Fox said.
"Gosh darn kids, these days," the dealer said, standing up and hobbling to the door.
"Thire, once you've got your team, come to me so we can debrief," Vos said. "I'm guessing you've never seen a Jedi interrogation before."
"No sir."
"Then I want you to be prepared."
"Yes, sir. Of course, sir." Thire saluted and stepped out of the door with the twi'lek.
Fox, Vos, and Riyo sat in the room silently for a few moments.
"Well, that certainly was a very interesting evening," Riyo said. "It's getting late. I should be going. Thank you for the conversation and company, Representative," she said.
Fox grunted and went to open up another energy drink as he pulled yet another datapad from the stack. Hunter was supposed to be showing up soon with his, Rex's, and Wolffe's clean datapads. He was not going to fall asleep before then. He needed a faster way to get into contact with Cody. His body could stay awake for a few more hours.
"Actually," Vos said in a tone of voice that always spelled trouble for Fox, "you should walk her home, Commander."
Fox looked up at him. "What?"
"Oh, there's no need," Riyo hurried to reply, sounding flustered. "I have my guards waiting outside. I'll be perfectly safe, Master Jedi."
"Nonsense," Vos said, grabbing Fox's elbow and hauling him out of his chair.
Fox stumbled to his feet only to be shoved at Riyo. She caught him and stopped him from face-planting right on the ground.
"I can't. I'm waiting on a shipment from Hunter."
Vos shoved them both out the door.
"Ah, yes. Wolffe came by to tell me that he's taking care of the shipment so you don't have to worry about a thing," Vos continued.
"Really, I am fine to walk home from here. It's only fifteen minutes or so."
"Lots of sketchy people out. And, Fox, do you think her guards are as good as you when it comes to bounty hunters?" Vos was toying with him. Saying all the right words so that Fox would fall for it.
Fox would not fall for it.
He would not fall for it.
He would not!
"How many bounties do we have on the good senator's head tonight, boys?" Vos asked the common area.
"Four!" A trooper shouted back.
Dammit! He was falling for it.
Fox eyed up Riyo's two guards. They were as tall and imposing as ever, but Vos was right. They weren't as well trained as he was. None of the senate guards were unless you counted Amidala's handmaidens. Fox did not count the handmaidens because they were in a class all their own. Comparing the handmaidens to your run-of-the-mill senate guards was like comparing expensive wine to the grog Jesse made in the bowels of The Resolute .
Maybe he should start holding training courses for the various guards so that the Coruscant Guard could take a break in stopping assassination attempts. He wouldn't train Palpatine's though. If that old man died that would be one less problem for Fox to worry about.
"You need to clear your head after all that," Vos said. "So enjoy your walk. I'll see you when Thire and I get back from interrogating Bane. Bye!" He used the Force to shove Riyo, Fox, and her two guards outside of the base. And then threw Fox's helmet at him. It was only due to years of training and threats of dismemberment if he treated his armor carelessly that he managed to catch it before it hit the grimy street.
All four of them stood there as their brains struggled to comprehend what had just happened.
"Did he… did he just throw me out of my own base?" Fox asked, incredulous.
Riyo straightened her jacket, her cheeks darkened again. "I believe so. I'm so sorry, Representative. You don't have to walk me home. I am safe."
Fox looked at her and felt his cheeks heat up. He shoved the bucket on his head before he made a stupid expression. He found himself wanting to walk her home. Wanting to spend time with her outside of talking politics. Even if the walk home was silent, somehow, it still felt like it would be nice.
"No, that's okay. They're never going to shut up about it if I don't," Fox said, stepping forward toward the direction of Riyo's apartments.
Riyo caught up with him. Fox noticed her guards were hanging behind them. Just far enough away to give them the illusion of privacy but close enough to cover the Senator if something were to happen. Fox stayed on his guard too, watching everyone that passed by them. Looking to see if any of them lingered longer than usual. Looking at the buildings above him to see if any lights seemed off.
"Was sitting through that discussion a test?" Riyo asked.
"Hmm?"
"You brought in the drug dealer and let him go without booking him. You also coordinated with a known criminal and you haven't filed the proper paperwork. Was it a test?"
Damn, she was perceptive, already figuring that out. He supposed he didn't hide it that well.
"Depends," he muttered. A man was hanging out in the alleyway. He looked at Riyo, but then saw Fox and the two guards and slipped back into the darkness. Good.
"On what?"
"If you're going straight to Palpatine to report me," he said. He didn't have to watch what he said as much out here. Only the helmets could record what he said and one of the first things he and his brothers learned was how to shut that off.
"I'm not," Riyo said quickly. "But you were testing me. Testing me to see if I was willing to break the rules?"
He thought about it for a second. "No. Testing to see how you reacted to someone else breaking the rules."
Riyo was quiet for another few seconds. He let her think.
"I do think that we as a society need to follow the rules," she finally said, quietly. She spoke slowly too. Fox recognized this way of speaking. She was considering her words. Making sure she was saying exactly what she meant and that none of it could get misinterpreted while also ensuring they didn't offend.
"Yes, we need to follow rules. Rules are there for a reason. They help us define right from wrong, and more importantly, help punish those that act in immoral ways. Ideally, we could live without rules because everyone would act in the common interest of the people. But that's impossible. There will always be those that break the rules for their own selfish needs. We need to have a way to hold them accountable. And we shouldn't go out of our way to break the rules."
Fox nodded. It made sense. "But," he urged her to continue.
"But, I also don't think we should follow rules simply because they are rules. Sometimes they are outdated. And sometimes they do more harm than good. They won't serve the people. In your case, you wouldn't have had to turn to drug dealers as translators if you had been given proper support to do your job. And you would not have had to turn to the Hutts if you had been given the tools to hunt down Bane yourself. I can't say I agree with you, but I also understand why you did it."
He nodded. "Sound logic, Senator. Thank you for understanding. I swear, I do try to work within the limits imposed upon me. Sometimes, that's just too limiting and it becomes dangerous for me, my brothers, and the neverde if I can't bend or break the rules. My priority is to keep people safe. My priority is to protect the Republic. Those are my mission objectives first and foremost. If I'm not given the support to do that legally, then I have to find other ways to complete the mission."
She nodded. "I understand. I'm not saying we should run around and break any rules we don't like or don't understand."
"No, of course not."
"After all, back on Pantora we have this beautiful nature preserve that has these unique moonrocks. They're all sorts of colors and absolutely stunning. There's a rule that you can't lick the moonrocks.
Fox furrowed his brow. "You can't… lick the rocks? Why is that a rule?"
She laughed. "Because they'll kill you. The color is caused by some toxic compound."
"And Pantorans just lick pretty rocks?" He looked at her. He had never seen Riyo licking pretty rocks and he couldn't imagine her doing such a stupid thing. Unless the rocks on Coruscant weren't pretty enough. Maybe he should find her some pretty rocks.
"I don't know why people did it," she said, laughing even harder. "But they did so we had to make a rule and I refuse to budge on the rule. They're toxic to Pantorans. I'm not sure about other species, though." She looked at him and stopped laughing, her cheeks darkening even more.
"You and I should go sometime," she said quickly.
"Why? So you can see if the toxin kills a human?"
"No! Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I just… I think you would like to see them. You haven't been off of Coruscant and you don't get to see much of the galaxy. I think you would like them. In the spring. There are flowers there in the spring. I can show you around. If you want. You can also go alone. Or with your brothers. Or with someone else."
"We can go," he said, shrugging.
She stopped rambling. "Really?"
"Yeah, sure. If I ever have more than five minutes that I'm not working. Sure, I don't see why not. And I spend enough time with my brothers. Yeah, I'd like to see the pretty rocks with you."
Her face got even darker. He wondered if she was coming down with something.
"Really? I heard Commander Wolffe the other day complaining that he's hardly got to see you since he came to Coruscant, though."
Fox snorted. "That's because I'm trying to keep him and Vos as far from each other as possible."
He shuddered at the mere thought of those two in a room together. Planning. Plotting. Coruscant wouldn't be standing. It was his duty as Commander of the Coruscant Guard to protect Coruscant and its people from all harm. And that included the chaos that would come from two insane idiots.
"I don't know much about Commander Wolffe," Riyo said. "I suppose I haven't gotten a chance to spend much time with him. I know one of my aides and a few of my guards are friendly with him though."
For fuck's sake, Wolffe!
"He's annoying and I can't wait for him to leave again," Fox growled. Maybe this persistent headache that he had would finally go away.
She chuckled. "You don't mean that."
"Oh, I do. He's my least favorite brother. Followed very closely by Gree." Or Monnk. Or Cody. Or Bacara. Or Rex. It depended on who was currently causing the most problems for the GAR and the types of problems they were causing.
"I'm certain you don't have favorites."
"We all have favorites. Rex is Cody's favorite. Has been since we were cadets. Rex used to get scared of the storms on Kamino and stay in Cody's sleeping tube. After the fifth time that happened, the trainers just let him stay. Cody is Alpha's favorite. Sinker and Boost are Wolffe's favorites, though that might be the trauma talking. He's very protective of them. And don't believe a word Rex says, Echo and Fives are his favorites. Well, Ahsoka is his favorite but if we're talking about actual brothers, then it's Echo and Fives. Which I don't get because those two are chaos incarnate. Serves Rex right, though. He was an absolute menace back on Kamino and he still gives us headaches to this day."
He liked talking about his brothers. He liked bragging about them and gossiping about them. It made him feel normal. He didn't know if this was how natborns talked about their families, but it felt right, on some level. No war. No death. No pain. Just annoying brothers and their favorites.
"Who's your favorite, then?" she asked, grinning.
"Thorn and Thire. They don't cause trouble." And they hung around him like lost tookas when they were cadets. He'd never say this out loud but he was so happy all of them were stationed together. He didn't know if he could handle the worry if those two (plus Stone) were off somewhere else in the Galaxy.
"Stone isn't on your list?" she teased.
"Stone used to also be my favorite. And now he's trying to steal baby Jedi all the time. He's dropped a few levels."
Lies, all lies. Fox still loved Stone as much as he loved Thorn and Thire.
She laughed again. "I like Stone. I think he's sweet."
"Don't encourage him. I thought the Creche Masters would put a stop to it but they seem to think it's 'funny'.
It had become something of a game with the baby Jedi. Each day, after they were done with their work, they would try increasingly outlandish ways to hide with Stone so they didn't have to go back to the Temple. The Creche Masters made a big show of not knowing where the kids were (even though most of them were awful at hiding because they couldn't stop giggling) and would search the Corrie base until finally they 'found' the hiding baby Jedi and rounded them all up, with the promise that they could see Stone again the next day. It was disgustingly sweet and Fox definitely did not find it endearing in the slightest.
(More lies)
They slowed to a stop in front of her building. One of her guards entered first to clear her apartment and ensure no one had broken in and planted a bomb or something. The other was still standing beside them. Again, just far enough away to give them the illusion of privacy.
"Thank you for walking me home, Representative," Riyo said.
"Call me Fox," he said before he had the chance to think about it. "You don't have to bother with the ranks and everything. I think we're familiar enough by now."
It was a very important thing to give a natborn permission to use your name. It was intimate, revealing in a way that he didn't think most people understood. It was a privilege to know a brother's name. It was even more of a privilege to be able to use it. The ranks gave them power. They gave them authority. The names gave them humanity. They gave them individuality. Trusting someone with your name was trusting them to see you as a person.
"Oh," Riyo said, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Are you sure?"
"It's a sign of respect." He answered, still unsure what exactly possessed him to give her explicit permission to use it.
Riyo smiled softly. "Of course. Since I am using your name, then you can use mine as well. It's only fair."
He felt his stomach doing weird flip-flops and was slightly ashamed. He had been using her name internally for a while now. Was that a problem?
"Of course," he said. "I assume on the Senate floor, however, I'll still refer to you as senator?"
She nodded. "It'll keep things professional."
"Right."
The guard got the signal that everything was clear and gestured for Riyo to enter her building.
She turned to the door and paused for a moment. Then, before Fox could react, she turned back towards him, leaned up on her tip-toes, and kissed the cheek of his helmet.
She ran inside before he could respond.
"Um… have a nice night, Representative Fox," the guard said before hurrying inside after her.
For several minutes, Fox didn't move. His entire body felt tingly and his mind didn't seem to want to think about anything. It was only after a buzzing alarm sounded that he shook off his shock and stumbled back to the base.
Vos and Thire were on their way to interrogate Bane. And sitting on his desk was a nice, shiny new datapad. He picked it up, found his way to one of the only blind spots on the building, and booted it up.
*****
Pest Control with Tech and Gree
Before Fox could even turn on the home page of the datapad, a video started playing. He groaned and did not bang his head on the wall. That would make a noise. He needed to be sneaky. On the screen was a code.
STOP
YOU MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO BEFORE USING THE PAD
FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS MAY RESULT IN US GETTING CAUGHT
DO NOT BE THE ONE THAT GETS US CAUGHT
Fox translated.
"Great, just what I want to do tonight. Watch an annoying video."
The code went away and for a few, brief seconds, the screen was black. Then the video started.
This time, the camera focused in on possibly the messiest ship Fox had ever seen. Seriously, how could someone live like this? Ignoring the mountain of empty energy drink cans in the corner and the fact that he hadn't changed his clothes in almost a week, Fox tried to keep his surroundings relatively clean. And he knew Thire was equally a neat freak and made the Corries clean daily to keep the base shining. Who was Hunter's CO to allow them to live like this? Why did they even want to live like this?
The whole operation needed much better quality control and Fox needed to find a wet wipe or something to clean off the datapad. There was no telling what filth it had been sitting in during transport.
He put his attention back to the video. Tech was standing alone in the frame, looking more than a little uncomfortable to be doing this. He kept readjusting his goggles and fiddling with bits of his armor. No sound was heard.
"Is the sound working on this?" Fox wondered, holding up the datapad to see if there was a volume button he needed to hit.
His question was answered as someone said off-camera, "Come on, Tech, start talking."
Tech stopped fiddling with his armor and glared at the person. "I do not see why I have to be the one to do this. This is not my operation."
"Cause you're the one that came up with this shit. You need to explain it," Another voice said.
"Yes, well, you have also told me that I am boring, difficult to understand at times, and lack 'people skills'," he said the last one with a wrinkle in his nose. "Ergo, I do not think I would be the best person to explain the intricacies of such an operation. Especially one that requires discretion."
For a beat, no one said anything. The urge to bang his head against the wall was back. Fox resisted it admirably. He should get a medal for his self-control.
"What's an 'ergo'?" someone off-camera asked.
Thankfully, Fox was spared from further madness as Gree finally decided to take charge. He stepped into the frame, slapped Tech upside the head (knocking his goggles askew), and turned to the camera.
"Alright, listen up chucklefucks, we are breaking all the rules by having these datapads. I'm talking all the rules. The rules that will get our asses decommissioned if we get caught. So these asshats decided on an instructional video on how to use these pieces of shit so that we don't get caught. Got it?"
"They are not 'pieces of shit', they are very fine pieces of equipment that I worked tirelessly to—"
"If your ass gets caught," Gree cut off Tech, "everyone will sacrifice you to Cody's wrath. You do not want to deal with Cody's wrath. You think the Kaminoans are bad? You think the Alphas are bad? You have never seen Cody mad. And you've never seen Fox mad. They'll ruin your goddamn life and you're going to be begging for death by the time those two are done with you. Oh, and I'll break your fucking kneecaps too. Don't fucking get caught."
Tech pushed his goggles back into their correct position and glared at Gree. "If you're quite finished—"
"So, we've developed this introductory video to A) get the pad set up correctly so you don't broadcast our entire plan to Palpadick, and B) you understand the rules so that if your stupid ass gets caught you won't try to pass it off. I can already hear the excuses now. 'Oh, I didn't know I wasn't supposed to hand it over to my girlfriend.' 'What do you mean I wasn't supposed to let the admiral read the entire conversation chain? That wasn't in the reg manual'," Gree mocked.
"None of this is in the reg manual. That is rather the point."
"Shut up and start talking, Tech," Gree said.
Fox wondered what exactly Clone Force 99 had done to piss him off so much. Then again, it was probably just their charming personalities. Fox would probably be pissed off too if he had to deal with them.
"Those statements are contradictory."
Gree glared at him for several seconds. Surprisingly, Tech did not falter under his gaze.
"You are not as intimidating as Crosshair." Tech sniffed.
"I aim to please," someone (Fox assumed Crosshair) said.
"Start. Talking."
Tech shrugged and turned back to the camera. "Before you start using your datapad, you must first set up the network to connect to. The GAR network tracks everything that is sent through it."
"Including nudes and whatever sick phone sex you fuckers are having," Gree said.
"Right. So, we have to set up a dummy system to hide the actual network these pads are using. Er, this video can be viewed offline. Which is why you're watching it now. I've worked the code so that it's the first thing you see upon initial—"
"No one cares. Tell them how to set it up."
"Some of them might care."
Gree shook his head. "Nope. No one cares."
Tech sighed. "Fine, if you insist."
"I do insist. I got shit to do and you fucking bastards kidnapped me!" Gree said.
Ah, yes. That would explain the bad mood. Now that he knew that, Fox was even more impressed with Gree's relatively good mood.
"We needed you to explain the codes," someone said.
"So you fucking drugged me and took me somewhere off-world? My general is going to be pissed! My commander is going to be worried! My men are going to get their asses killed!"
"Don't worry about them," Crosshair said. "We've got Wrecker demonstrating demolitions to some shinies. That should sow enough seeds of chaos to keep them busy for a few hours."
"You're fucking showing my shinies how to blow shit up?" Gree screeched.
Fox rolled his eyes and fast-forwarded through several minutes of what appeared to be Gree trying to strangle Hunter and Tech frantically trying to pull him off. Crosshair was sitting in the background, looking bored and unamused as always. He never realized just how much work Ahsoka must do to keep everyone on topic and from killing each other. Maybe she should get a medal too.
Finally, Tech managed to separate the two and Fox let the video play at normal speed.
He adjusted his goggles. Gree was panting heavily and still red in the face.
"Right, set up. You will notice you did not just receive a datapad with your kit. You received a datastick as well. First, you have to plug the stick into the main drive of your base or ship, wherever you'll be doing most of your work. It'll look like a reg manual update but there is a virus hidden in the code. Essentially, and this is quite fascinating, I developed a bit of malware that hides as legitimate programming of the reg manual update so that it can slip through GAR security and—"
"No one cares!" Everyone shouted.
Tech crossed his arms and glared at them. "Fine. All of you can just use the program without understanding how it works. See if I care! Once the program has finished uploading, you can set up your off-reg datapad using the network that we slipped in with the reg manual. For simplicity's sake, we named the network 'Settings' and the password is PointRain, P and R are capitalized, with no space. Once you have the network set up, change your password to something that is fifteen characters long, two numbers, an uppercase and lowercase, three special symbols, but no dash, slash, or pound sign."
Fox scrambled to get something to write down the password requirements with.
"Update every three months and do not use the same password more than once. Now, to use the datapad you still have to be careful of cameras and audio recordings. Most of us are aware of the few blindspots the bases and ships have. However, I've taken the liberty of attaching maps of each class of ship and each base that has a list of blind spots so that you can stay out of earshot of any recording devices and sightline of any cameras."
"Yeah, I'm feeling super uncomfortable by the fact that there's a camera in all our bunks and listening devices in the showers," Gree said. "Not happy about that at all.
"Do you think the generals know?" Tech asked.
"I don't think so. They'd throw a fit if they knew. Fuck, I want to throw a fit. We got a fucking sixteen-year-old girl who uses our barracks and has the same recording equipment in her room. What sick fuck is watching those cameras?"
Gree had a point. Fox knew the cameras were everywhere and pretty extensive, but knowing that they were in places where people got undressed was starting to get very worrisome. Especially since there were children in the form of Padawan Commanders also using these ships. He made a note to talk to Cody about that and see if they could speed this shit up and kick Palpatine out sooner rather than later.
Gree looked around the ship. "Speaking of, what about the recording equipment in here?"
"It does not work," Tech said brightly. "We have crashed the ship too many times."
"It still flies, though. Right?"
"When you've used a blind spot, mark it off so you vary the ones you use and don't overuse one spot."
"The fact that you didn't answer me is very concerning."
Hunter patted him on the back. "Don't think too much about it."
"It's all I can think about now."
Tech continued onward. "You will also see that each blind spot has specific instructions on how to access them. These include routes to take, guard cycles, entering and exiting the spot, and how long you can stay before it starts to get suspicious that you are not showing back up on cameras. Finally, any chat logs will be deleted after one week. To keep track of the information being discussed, Commander Gree's team will knit scarved with the data. Which is why you are here, commander. To explain your code."
Gree groaned loudly and tossed his head back. "I hate Cody, Fox, and Wolffe. Hate them. They're the ones that came up with this stupid plan." He took a deep breath. "Anyways, the general layout for the scarves goes like this: blue yarn means the conversation was a holocall, purple was a chatlog, and green was an in-person meeting. We use dadita to record it all. One knit stitch is a dot, and two purl stitches are a dash. If you drop the stitch that means it was the end of the sentence. If the rest of the row is finished with a moss stitch, that means it was the end of the conversation and we're trying to fill out the rest of the row. Rows are one foot long and scarves should be no longer than three feet, but finish the conversation before starting a new scarf. Each new conversation will start with a moss stitch and then the date and time it took place.
Tech nodded. "Every week be sure to upload troop movements, ship location, weapons drops, anything overheard by the natborn officers, etc."
Gree groaned again. "Yeah, there's no way my men are going to be able to keep up with all that information. So, guess what, guys?" He grinned at the camera, looking truly feral in a way that had Fox concerned. "I'm going to be teaching a GAR-wide, mandatory knitting class. I managed to convince my general and my commander it would be good for the mental health of the troops. All this information will not be on me. Got it, Cody? Yeah, that's right, You're not exempt from this, asshole. Your ass is going to learn how to fucking knit. This is your pet project, not mine."
"Luckily for us, Wrecker quite enjoys knitting so we do not have to take the class," Tech said. "Finally, if you need information, or want to launch an investigation, Commander Wolffe has informed me that he has a request form you can fill out so he can hand it to his contacts. You'll find this in the FORMS folder on the home screen. He says to allow seven standard rotations to review your request and see if he has anyone who could help."
Gree rolled his eyes. "Why couldn't we just launch a military coup? That would have been so much easier.
"No, it most certainly would not have been," Tech scoffed. "For one, the political stability of a government after a coup is often fragile and prone to in-fighting—"
Gree shoved a hand on his face to shut him up. "That's all I got. Now, take me back so I can shoot Wrecker."
The video cut out before Fox got to see the end of that particular argument. He furrowed his brow and looked between the datapad and the datastick in his hands.
"I got to fucking learn how to knit?" Screw that! He was going to delegate.
He called Stone. "You're learning how to knit and tell Dice that I'm cutting my sleep down to two hours a day." He popped open another energy drink.
Stone yawned. "You got it, sir." He mumbled before passing right back out. He made sure to send a follow-up message (on a GAR-sanctioned datapad) and then stepped out of the closet.
Maybe Gree was right. Maybe they should just launch a coup. Screw political instability afterward. That was future Fox's problem. Present Fox's problem was getting the dummy reg manual uploaded and then seeing if Vos and Thire got anything out of Bane.
Life was so much simpler, when he was just a Marshall Commander.
*****
Palpatine couldn't believe what he was seeing. There, on the videos, clear as day, was Cad Bane. In prison. In the Coruscant Guard Prison.
He had set up the cameras specifically to alert him if the bounty hunter had been captured. So it was a shock when he was awoken in the middle of the night with an alert that the duros was indeed in Coruscant Guard custody.
It was also suspicious that CC-1010 did not immediately alert him, or have one of his men alert him to the capture. It was only after reviewing the footage from CC-1010's office that Palpatine understood why.
The Hutts had captured Bane. They had sent out their bounty hunters after some episode with two clones named Candle and Cook Food (really, these names were just dreadful) and had delivered him practically gift-wrapped to CC-1010! He had known for a while that the Hutts weren't Bane's biggest fans after he aided in Zero's escape. It had been part of his plan to have them eventually kill Bane to tie up the loose ends. He was waiting, though, letting the Coruscant Guard go on wild goose chases and run into dead end after dead end. It kept them distracted and wore out that insufferable commander so he couldn't play politician as well. But instead of killing him, they had brought him to Coruscant! Gave him to the Guard! From the looks of it, they hadn't even hurt him!
The Hutts, ruthless gangsters who were barely tolerated by the rest of the galaxy, were trying to work with the Coruscant Guard? It was inconceivable! And yet further proof that Skywalker's little pet was dangerous, even when confined to Coruscant.
Palpatine snarled and continued to pace his quarters. He had tried calling Dooku to see if he had an idea of what to do, but the blasted man was distracted with Kenobi on some planet. He had been pulling away from Palpatine lately. He could feel it in the Force. Ventress as well. They were now questioning his plans. He needed to regain control of the situation and fast.
The only problem was that blasted commander! CC-1010 had worked fast. He had Bane in protective custody and had two Guards monitoring him every second and away from the general prison population in one of the most secure cells the prison had to offer. Vos and another clone commander were on their way to interrogate Bane right now.
It wasn't that Palpatine was worried the man would point the finger at him. He had gone out of his way to distance himself from this hit as much as possible. No, the issue was what else Bane might let slip during an interrogation. What could Vos get from touching his clothes? His weapons? And what did Bane want to reveal? He might decide discretion was more trouble than it was worth and spill everything he knew.
As much as he hated to admit it, CC-1010 was smart. He could put the pieces together. In fact, it seemed as though he was already putting pieces together. He hadn't alerted the Senate or Palpatine that he had caught Bane. Yes, one could argue it was late and he was trying to let the Senators sleep, but Palpatine did not want to risk it. He couldn't risk it.
CC-1010 was becoming almost a bigger thorn in his side than Tano. He would deal away with both of them, but hiring a bounty hunter hadn't worked in the past. And it certainly wouldn't work in the future. He had a plan to break Tano's spirit that would be enacted in a few days, but that didn't take care of CC-1010.
He couldn't kill him, that would make him a martyr to the people and they might fight back against Palpatine's policies even more. Even a few separatist systems had started to display cautious support of CC-1010. Or at least some of his policies. Tawni Ames seemed to be the leader of this new breakaway sect that was less than happy about some of the more unsavory policies of the Separatists. If CC-1010 were to die by Separatist hands, that might just be the push they needed to leave entirely and join the neutral systems. Palpatine could not afford to lose any more planets.
He could leak the video of CC-1010 working with the Hutts. They weren't popular anywhere in the galaxy and most people abhorred their use of slavery. But would that be enough to regain control of the situation? Or would he be lighting a match and throwing it into a canister of gasoline? Leaking the video might cause CC-1010 to finally act independently of the GAR. And several clones would join him. CC-2224 among them, and that worried Palpatine because his file showed that he was also a highly competent and skilled soldier.
Right now, the clones were being muzzled by the lack of leadership positions they were offered. They had to defer to their admirals (who often didn't see them as humans), Jedi generals (who often lacked experience leading such large armies), and padawan commanders (who were children and acted as such). The clones were the best warriors in the galaxy. They could end this war in a matter of days if given the freedom to do so. That was the issue. That was what Palpatine needed to fix.
The leash had grown slack. The muzzle had come loose. He needed a way to remind CC-1010 that he was not in control here. That if he stepped out of line, Palpatine had ways of not just hurting him, but hurting the people he cared about too.
An idea came to his head. He could still gain control of the issue. He could take out Bane and remind the Coruscant Guard that they were obedient dogs.
Yes, it was perfect.
He looked at a video feed that showed the two guards right outside Bane's prison cell. He grinned as he pulled up their information and picked the perfect candidate. All it took was a few well-practiced keystrokes and then the cameras were on the fritz. Not enough to fully block out what was going on, but just enough to leave it up to speculation. Then, he opened the private channel between him and one of the guards.
Yes, this problem was going to be solved one way or another.
*****
Robin stood as straight as his back would allow, body rigid as he clutched the blaster in his hand. Next to him, a trooper named Crescent let out an audible yawn.
"Relax, kid. We're just here to keep an eye on this shabuir until the Jedi and Commander Thire get here."
"Sorry, sir," Robin said, jumping slightly at being addressed. "It's just… I wasn't trained on guard protocol. I don't want to make a mistake."
"Relax," Crescent said again. "It's the middle of the night. Unless the Hutts broadcasted to the galaxy that Bane's in our custody, no one knows he's here. It's only been like, what, thirty minutes or so? I just got a message from Commander Thire. They're almost here and then we can let the Jedi and the Commander deal with him."
"Yes, sir. You're right, sir," Robin said. His back was starting to hurt from standing so rigidly for so long.
"And cool it with the 'sir', alright? We're the same rank."
"Sorry, si—um, Crescent." It felt weird not to tack that onto the end of every sentence. He was worried that one of the Kaminoans was standing behind the corner, just waiting for him to mess up so they could drag him off for punishment.
"You're new around here, aren't you?"
"Yes." He bit his tongue before he could add 'sir'. "I've been here for about a week."
Cresent let out a whistle. "A week, huh? So you're a very shiny shiny."
"I suppose so."
"How's Coruscant treating you? Settling in okay? I know when I first got here I was overwhelmed by everything. The smell especially. Not a lot of smells on Kamino."
"It's fine," Robin said.
In truth, it wasn't. Crescent was right. The smells were the absolute worst. He constantly had a headache from just how much everything smelled. Even the good smells made his head hurt. And the noise. There was so much noise. The worst part of all of it was just how enclosed he felt. The buildings were so high and sometimes, when he looked up at them, he got sick upon realizing that he couldn't see the top.
"Don't have to lie, kid. You hate it here. That's fine. It's not the best gig. Then again, no gigs are the best." Crescent shrugged.
Were they… were they allowed to talk bad about Coruscant? They wouldn't get in trouble?
"Look, I know you're new and everything so you're still trying to find your footing. Start with getting to know some brothers."
"I tend to annoy other brothers," Robin admitted.
"Then find ones you don't annoy." Crescent made that sound like the easiest thing in the world. "What are you into?"
"Sir?"
"Hobbies. What do you like to do for fun?"
"Oh… um… I don't know."
Crescent cursed under his breath. "Right. Shiny. Fresh off Kamino. Forgot they don't give you a lot of time to do hobbies there. Let's ask this a different way. What do you want to learn more about?"
Robin thought about it for a bit. "Machines, sir. I've always found them fascinating. I wasn't smart enough to go into the mechanic track. I'm just sort of average with everything."
Crescent snorted. "An average trooper is still a better soldier than half the soldiers in the galaxy. Machines, eh? I think I know a few gearheads that might take you in. They're all fucking insane, mind you. Talk your ear off about the virtues and follies of an Allen Wrench if you let them. After we get off our shift, I'll introduce you."
"Really?" Robin said.
"Yeah. Some of them are nervous people too. They'll help you out. Like I said, relax. You'll find your place with us eventually."
Robin did feel relaxed by his words. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. People he could talk to would be a dream. It wasn't that he didn't get along with the rest of his batchmates, he just didn't seem to connect to them the same way others connected to their batchmates. He was too nervous. Too jumpy. Too afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing so he stayed quiet. You couldn't offend anyone if you didn't talk. The fact that Crescent, who he had just met today, was willing to introduce him to people he might get along with was amazing. Maybe he was right. Maybe he would find his place eventually.
The comm channel in his bucket crackled to life. That was weird. Who could be calling him? Maybe General Vos and Commander Thire were here and letting him know they'd be down in a few minutes.
"CT-8895," a gravelly voice said on the other end.
Robin's mind went blank.
CT-8895 snapped to attention.