"Is there something else you would like to talk about, Knight Skywalker? Your mind seems awfully troubled," Master Plo said, gently nudging as always. A slight pressure to remind Anakin that he was there, but that he wasn't forcing him to say anything.
"It's nothing," Anakin said, not wanting to bother him with the petty dramas of his friends, especially after Obi-Wan had just yelled at the man. That could possibly be a conflict of interest.
"It's not nothing. Please, I am here to help. And if I cannot give help, then I can direct you to someone who can."
He rubbed the back of his neck and then relented. His head still felt murky and if Master Plo could help with the attachment issue, maybe he could help with this too.
"Alright, it's the chancellor. Lately, I haven't felt as close to him. And I've felt… I don't know. I've felt like our conversations are weird. Like, when Bane died, he said 'congratulations'. Like I was supposed to be happy that a man died. And, don't get me wrong, I'm glad he can't hurt anyone else and he's hurt Ahsoka many times so I'm glad he can't do that anymore, but it was just such a callous thing to say. He seemed to think I'd be happy someone died. It felt gross, for lack of a better term. And he didn't even seem to care that Rex went missing. He told me 'Don't worry. You'll get another Captain soon.' As if Rex could be replaced with the snap of his fingers. And then Obi-Wan tears into him and he's got a lot of good points. I just… I don't know. I feel confused and I don't know if I should even hang around him anymore."
"Hmm," Master Plo stroked his chin. "You were mentored by the Chancellor at a very young age, were you not?"
Anakin nodded, not certain what this had to do with anything. "He took an interest in me after Naboo and we just kind of kept up with one another. It was nice, having someone to talk to who wasn't trying to make me brush my teeth or do my coursework."
"Ah, the role of a grandmaster. Most padawans are spoiled by their grandmasters or great-grandmasters. But since yours was dead and your great grand master is…"
"Dooku," Anakin said. He could not imagine Dooku of all people 'spoiling' him or Obi-Wan. The very idea was laughable.
"Precisely—It seems as though Chancellor Palpatine filled that role for you."
"So, I should continue to go to him?"
Most people still kept up a relationship with their lineage. Obi-Wan made sure to have monthly dinners with Feemor. Anakin had made an attempt to keep up the tradition as well since their lineage was missing so many people, but with the war, there hadn't been any time. He'd have to get on that so Ahsoka could meet him. If Palpatine was a part of Anakin's lineage, no matter how unconventional, then he should keep up with him the same way other Jedi kept in touch with their masters and grandmasters. Only, that didn't feel right.
"Not necessarily," Master Plo said. "We are dynamic beings. We grow and change with our experiences. Who you are today is not the same person you were a year ago, or even yesterday. And our relationships are dynamic as well. But sometimes, they do not grow with us. Chancellor Palpatine offered you a place as a child where the expectations were lower. Where you could indulge in childish things that Master Kenobi could not let you get away with if he had any hopes of you becoming an independent adult. But you are not a child anymore. You are a Jedi Knight, a general, and the master of your own padawan. Perhaps his advice is no longer suitable to your needs."
"I've outgrown the relationship," Anakin translated.
"Precisely. That is not to say that you need to terminate contact. If he has done nothing to warrant it, he could still be useful. After all, the war will end eventually and Ahsoka will become a Jedi knight of her own. Perhaps then he can be a better friend to you. But there is no harm in no longer seeking his counsel if it does not help you. Not every relationship needs to be one of advice-giving. Enjoy his company. Discuss food and literature instead of war and harsh topics. That might be a good path forward."
"Thank you, master. That's a good idea. That's helpful. I know Obi-Wan doesn't like him so he'd probably be pushing me to cut contact."
"Again, Knight Skywalker, don't assume you know what people are thinking. The only way to know for sure is to ask."
"Right, right. I'm sorry. I mean, he doesn't like the guy. That's clear. But you're right. He might not ask me to cut off contact."
Master Plo seemed to be smiling under his mask. "Better. Perhaps some other Jedi more your age would be beneficial. Quinlan Vos' padawan is close, correct?"
"Aayla? Yeah. I've hung out with her a few times, especially growing up, since Obi-Wan and Vos are close."
"Hang out with her a few more times, and other new knights. That's my other suggestion to you. You have a support network here, Knight Skywalker. Please, do not assume you're the only one who feels this way. That sort of thinking will leave you very isolated indeed. Lean on us, that is why we are a community."
"I will, master. Thank you. This has been helpful."
"Anytime, Knight Skywalker. And tell Little Soka I said. Hello."
"Of course." As soon as Anakin finished the call, he saw that Master Plo had sent him the details of the mind healer along with an appointment for next week. The man worked fast.
He still wasn't sure about seeing one, but if talking to Master Plo lightened him this much, then perhaps the mind healer would be beneficial.
There was still the other thought rattling around in his head. Leaving the Jedi Order. He had never even considered it. He was the Chosen One. Master Qui-Gon had fought to get him here. He was supposed to bring balance to the Force. Wouldn't he be throwing everything in Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's faces if he left?
But if he left, he could be with Padme. Openly. He wouldn't have to worry about attachments and whether or not they were getting in the way of his duties.
But then there was Ahsoka to think about. Who would take her on as their padawan if he was gone?
Maybe he wouldn't leave just yet. Maybe he'd wait for Ahsoka to finish up her training and then leave. Yeah, that was a good plan. He wouldn't tell Palpatine about it. The man could be confusing when it came to his opinions on the Jedi and he didn't want to be any more confused.
He felt better, though. More balanced and centered than he had in a long time. He wasn't planning to when he first decided to message Master Plo, but now he kind of wanted to talk to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka again. He wanted to apologize again, properly this time. He wanted to make sure he still had the support of his master, even if Obi-Wan was disappointed in him. And he wanted Obi-Wan to know that he was trying to do better.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he messaged his old Master.
"Anakin, is everything alright?" Obi-Wan asked, answering immediately to his call and making Anakin feel even more guilty for how they had argued last. Even when he was mad at him, he always seemed to answer his call as soon as he could; ready to offer whatever support Anakin needed at the time.
"Um, no. I mean yeah. I mean, I just…" He took a deep breath. "I wanted to apologize, for how I handled the situation with Rex. And for arguing with you about it." He had said these words before, so he wasn't sure if they would read any differently, but he still felt like this was the right thing to do.
Obi-Wan frowned. "Thank you. Any reason you're apologizing again?"
His first instinct was to argue that Obi-Wan should accept the apology and move on from the past. He ignored that instinct. He was trying to make amends. Not make things worse. And Obi-Wan had a point. In the past, he wouldn't have apologized again. He would have moved on. Luckily, there was no shortage of disasters to distract Obi-Wan from their previous arguments. And by the time those disasters were resolved, whatever they had been arguing about seemed so trivial. Either that or new arguments came up that had to be dealt with. Shit, was he really that argumentative and difficult to deal with? That was something he would have to talk about with the mind healer.
"I talked with Master Plo about it," Anakin said. "I felt so… overwhelmed by everything. I know what I did was wrong, but I also couldn't see the right answer. And we kept arguing about it so I went to him instead. To try and get some answers or some advice or something."
"A wise choice indeed. Master Plo is a very good listener. He helped me a lot as a padawan when Qui-Gon became too much," Obi-Wan said.
Anakin didn't want to admit it, but he was slightly shocked that Obi-Wan was okay with him seeking counsel from another master. He would have thought he'd be offended or something. Like he was the only one who was allowed to give Anakin advice. To hear that he was okay with him going to someone else was… it made him feel lighter. Less alone. Obi-Wan even sounded just the slightest bit proud that Anakin sought out help on his own. That made his chest feel warm. A knot he didn't know was there loosened slightly. It felt easier to breathe.
"Yeah. We talked a bit. I feel like my head is clearer now. I know I already apologized to you once but—"
"It was done under duress?" Obi-Wan asked. He was smiling lightly in a way that suggested he wasn't actually offended by the implication.
"I wouldn't say duress but—"
"Anakin, I raised you. I know what you look like when you're apologizing because you have to and not because you want to."
Anakin rolled his eyes. "Fine. Yes. I apologized before because I felt like I had to and not because I wanted to. I want to now. And I want to do better. He convinced me to go to a mind healer."
"I have been trying to get you to go to one for years. Now I'm offended. One conversation with Master Plo and you're doing everything he says," Obi-Wan gasped in mock hurt.
"Maybe you're not as good of a negotiator as you think you are," Anakin teased.
"Or perhaps I used all my skills trying to convince you to eat your vegetables and go to bed at a reasonable time as a child."
"I don't think that's how negotiations work."
"Oh, it is," Obi-Wan replied. "I used up all my negotiating powers on you as a child and so now you're immune to everything I say. My own padawan, no longer looking up to me like I'm an all-powerful being," he sighed dramatically. "Whatever shall I do?"
"Yeah, well, I'm still going."
Obi-Wan smiled at him, warm and genuine. "Good. I'm glad. You've been through so much. This war isn't helping. I should probably also see one for myself. I've been having trouble, memories of Melidaan and the Mandalore Civil War are finding their way to the surface. Truly, somethings you can never get rid of."
Anakin's expression softened. Obi-Wan never talked much about his time as a padawan, but he knew there was a lot there. A lot of trauma. A lot of darkness. Sometimes, he forgot that Obi-Wan had a past before he entered the picture.
"If the one Master Plo sends me to is any good, I'll let you know."
Obi-Wan laughed. "Thank you. I look forward to your assessment."
"And I know how I handled the situation was wrong. I just… he's my friend. I felt like I needed to be the one to look for him. And, I feel guilty that I wasn't there to stop Tarkin from taking him."
"I understand how you feel," Obi-Wan said. "But, remember, you were in an important meeting with several commanding officers. You were making sure Ahsoka was alright. You could not have known. And you could not have done anything. Please, please remember, you are not alone. I never went to search for Captain Rex myself. I coordinated with other Jedi to see who had men available to look. Sometimes, I worry you're too independent. You don't want to lean on your community. You don't want to ask for help."
Anakin winced. Probably a fair assessment. "Sometimes I feel like I can't. I'm the Chosen One. Shouldn't I be able to do everything?" Shouldn't he be able to save everybody?
Obi-Wan frowned. "No. You're human first. Chosen One second. And humans need other people to survive. Please, promise me that you'll reach out for help more often. The Jedi are not your enemies. We are not here to hurt you or the people you care about. We're here to help you, to help each other. Only by leaning on one another will we be able to survive."
Anakin nodded. "I'll try, master."
"Do or do not. There is no try."
"Yes, Master Yoda. I understand." He thought about mentioning how Master Plo said the path of the Jedi might not be for him but hesitated. Obi-Wan didn't seem disappointed now, but he didn't know if that would be pushing it too far. He wasn't a mind reader. He wouldn't know how Obi-Wan felt until he asked. But he didn't want to ask. They had just come to an understanding and had a decent conversation that didn't immediately lead to more arguments. What if this caused them to fall back into old patterns?
"Is something else the matter, my dear?" he asked.
If he said no, Obi-Wan would push until they had another argument. But he wasn't ready to talk to him about it yet. He decided to try something new. Something he had never done before.
"I think I want to talk about it with the mind healer or Master Plo first, master. If that's okay."
Obi-Wan looked shocked for a beat and then smiled at him. "Of course, dear heart. I hope you come to me if or when you're ready. I'll be here to help in whatever way I can."
That 'if' spoke volumes. If he was ready, he could come to Obi-Wan. It was such a small word, almost insignificant, but to Anakin, it was Obi-Wan's way of saying that he was willing to let Anakin keep him out of it so long as he spoke to other people. He was willing to trust Anakin to take care of this without his input.
"Thank you," he said. And he meant it. He hadn't even told Obi-Wan everything and he already felt so supported. It was… it was a strange feeling. Chancellor Palpatine often made it seem like the Jedi would never understand. But he had just spoken to two of them and they seemed very understanding. Perhaps Master Plo was right in that he should start distancing himself from the chancellor.
"Be safe, Master."
"You as well, my dear padawan."
His next stop was Ahsoka. They also needed to talk about what had happened.
She was in her room, not surrounded by Rex and the others, surprisingly. They had become nearly inseparable since they got back. "Hey, Snips, got a second to talk?"
"Sure, Skyguy, what's up?" She said, hopping off the bed to come to him. She was much happier now than she had been, that much was clear. He felt even more guilty for leaving her behind. It was the wrong choice to go after Rex. He couldn't forget his duties or the people he had to care for.
"Where's Rex and the others?" he asked. "I thought you were glued at the hip."
Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "They went to go shower. Said I couldn't come."
"Yeah, that makes sense. Glad they said that."
"I wasn't going to go in with them!" Ahsoka said. "I was just going to hang around. You know. Outside the door."
"I don't think they need protection in the sonics, snips. Give them some privacy."
"I know, I know," Ahsoka grumbled. "What else is up? You seem different."
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said. Out of everyone, Ahsoka was the easiest to apologize to. Maybe because he had had some practice. Or maybe because talking about it made him feel lighter. But it was nice to not be as worried.
"For leaving you with Ponds after Rex disappeared." He had already apologized before, but this time he meant it.
"It's okay!" Ahsoka chirped.
"No, it's not." He leaned down to look her in the eyes, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You needed me and I wasn't there. I… I don't want to say that it won't happen again, but I'm trying. I'm trying to figure out how to balance protecting the people I care about. Okay?"
"Okay, Master." She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. "Thanks. I know losing him was hard on you too."
"Yeah. I'll do better at supporting you."
"We'll support each other. Won't we? You, me, Master Obi-Wan?"
He squeezed her tightly. "Yeah, we will. You should talk to someone. Not me. Clearly, I'm not the best when it comes to this sort of thing. I'll help when I can, but maybe someone else would be better. Master Plo might be good. He helped me get my head on straight after all."
Ahsoka pulled back. "Rex suggested the same thing. He also said Master Obi-Wan would be good."
"Did he now? Great minds think alike, I suppose."
"Are you one of those great minds?"
"Of course!"
"Then we'll have to disagree. You're a mediocre mind." Ahsoka grinned.
"Keep talking like that and I'll make you do Shii-cho drills until you drop."
"Sure, Skyguy. I believe you." She laughed. This time it was a genuine laugh.
He pulled her down into another hug. He let his Force signature wrap around hers, keeping her safe for the time being. "We'll get through this war, snips. Okay?"
"Yes, master. We'll get through this war. Together." She squeezed him back.
And the Force seemed so much lighter.
*****
Wolffe: I need you to give 5 kg of angel spice to Talia
Fox: What? Who's Talia?
Wolffe: That prostitute you arrested yesterday. She works for me. I need her to give the angel spice to Boost so I can give it to an antiquities smuggler.
Fox: The prostitute that threw a chair at Thire?
Wolffe: Originally I had her graffiti 'Fuck the Corries' on a building, but instead of arresting her, y'all just took pictures.
Fox: wait wait wait wait wait.
Fox has added Cody to the chat
Fox: Cody, help. Wolffe's gone crazy
Cody: Wolffe, what the fuck?
Wolffe: Look, I got in contact with an antiquities smuggler that works closely with a bunch of rich bastards. Senators are rich bastards. I want him to get me the ledgers to see if there's any evidence that the Senate has been using funds to buy illegal shit. More evidence, you know? Maybe see who else is potentially on Palpadick's payroll. But he needs a bribe. We don't have money, but Fox has a shit ton of drugs.
Cody: So you hired a prostitute to purposefully get arrested so Fox can smuggle her some drugs so that Boost can smuggle you some drugs so that you can pay an antiquities smuggler to get some ledgers? Please, please don't tell me you're a pimp.
Wolffe: I'm not a pimp. This is more of a side hustle for her anyways.
Fox: Why? What does she get out of it?
Wolffe: I helped her and the other hookers unionize against their pimps.
Fox: Unionize?
Cody: Wait you can do that? Why are we sneaking around when we can just unionize?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Wolffe: Cody, buddy, I'm helping you assassinate a government leader. We don't need to unionize. Fox, I need those drugs today so if you can get started on her release paperwork, that'd be a great help.
Wolffe: Also, I told Dorme about our little operation and she's agreed to help us bye!
Wolffe has left the chat
Cody: Wait, what?
Fox: YOU GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT
Cody: What do you mean you told Dorme!
Cody: Wolffe, you better be messing with us
Cody: Wolffe!
Cody: Fox?
Fox: Yeah, yeah, I'll go talk to her when she gets back.
Cody: Thank you.
Notes:I saw exactly one (1) tumblr post about how Dorme and Wolffe would make a cute couple. So now you all have to suffer the Wolffe/Dorme brain rot with me. Enjoy!
Working Title for this Chapter: Dorme is Horny for Wolffe because Goddammit, Cody and Obi-Wan are refusing to be horny for each other
Luminara: Sometimes, us force sensitives can tell what you're thinking. Not necessarily reading your mind, but determining your intentions. The stronger the thoughts and intentions, the clearer it is to us
Gree: Oh, you mean like how Palpatine always knows I want to murder him despite keeping my helmet on and never speaking to him?
Luminara, dialing the Jedi council: Hold up, what now?