[Amber: Morax? Isn't that the god ofdah Liyue?]
[Yanfei: Why do I suddenly feel like something terrible is coming…]
[Gorou: And why does this sound like… he's flirting with him??]
[Arataki Itto: Hah! Big Arataki's gotta see this with his own eyes!]
[Venti: NO—DON'T LOOK. TURN BACK. SAVE YOUR SANITY WHILE YOU CAN!]
The video began slowly.
A colossal, round-bellied dragon appeared on screen, standing upright on two stout legs.
Golden scales glimmered under dim light.
He placed a claw dramatically over his chest, tilted his head toward the camera, and spoke in a deep, reverent rumble:
"Morax… please—look closely at me."
Then—
He started dancing.
The mighty Azhdaha — ancient warlord of Geo, one of the oldest beings beneath the heavens — swayed and twisted with shocking grace, humming:
"Mmm~ hmm~ hmm-hmm-hmm~♪"
Billions of viewers felt their screens tremble with spiritual damage.
[Arataki Itto: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! MY EYES! MY EYES!! HOW CAN ANYONE SURVIVE THIS?!]
[Collei: I thought my childhood trauma was bad… but THIS?! (covers eyes)]
[Bennett: This is visual damage AND emotional damage! (double facepalm)]
[Fischl: Even I, Prinzessin der Verurteilung, could not foresee a dragon debasing himself so! Whose servant is this creature?!]
[Ganyu: He… he's Azhdaha. In the ancient wars, he fought alongside us…]
[Nahida: Wait… is he absorbing Dendro energy while dancing?!]
[Rosaria: The Geo Archon better start evacuating civilians right now.]
[Ayato: …why does that tune sound like Ayaka's practice song?]
[Ayaka: BROTHER! DO NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD! (hides behind fan)]
[Glory: …I'm so glad I can't see anything.]
[Paimon: But the stream zaps directly into your brain!]
[Glory: LET ME PRETEND, PLEASE! WAAAAH!!]
[Lumine: Great. I was mute before, now I'm blind too.]
[Dori: Selling miracle eye drops! Only 10 million Mora per bottle—limited stock!]
[Pantalone: Even I cannot compete with marketing that shameless…]
[Kazuha: My eyes… They've been struck by Musou no Hitotachi itself.]
[Beidou: Where's Baizhu?! We need a healer STAT!]
[Qiqi: His belly… so big… is he… having a baby? Should we… get coconut milk?]
[Hu Tao: Anyone wanting to die from trauma, please proceed to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! Buy one burial, get one free! Bulk packages available!]
And thus, the Kamisato Art: Senho of Azhdaha blinded millions that day.
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
Hu Tao slapped Zhongli's back repeatedly.
"Zhongli! Hellooo? You okay?! Talk to me!"
Across from her, Zhongli set his teacup down with trembling hands.
He coughed—hard.
"Cough… cough—ghhk!"
Six thousand years of memories—
battlefields drenched in blood, empires falling, gods clashing—
And yet nothing… nothing had prepared him for this atrocity.
He pressed a hand to his chest. His heart — his gnosis — ached.
"The erosion… it worsens…" he murmured bitterly.
"My old friend… what would you think… seeing yourself like this…?"
The Chasm — Underground Mines
Deep beneath layers of stone, a massive roar shook the caverns.
Azhdaha — in his humanoid form, Ajur — howled in incandescent rage.
"BASTAAAAARD!!! WHAT—WHAT IS THIS ACCURSED VIDEO?!"
"The Mishearing Maniac! SHOW YOURSELF! I WILL END YOU!!"
His roar cracked the walls.
He, Azhdaha — ancient conqueror of Geo, who once fought beside Morax to defend Liyue —
had now become a meme.
He had spent days roaming the land, venting his resentment to mortals,
but the people of Liyue merely shrugged him off.
Now… they would never take him seriously again.
Say his name, and they would remember only—
that fat, dancing dragon.
"RAAAAAHHH!!"
Azhdaha ripped at the air.
"I WILL CRAWL THROUGH THE SCREEN IF I MUST! I'LL RIP THAT MAN APART!!"
Public Chatroom
[Dongsheng: I'd trade anything for eyes that have NOT seen this.]
[Chef Mao: Xiangling… take over Wanmin Restaurant… I'm done for…]
[Xiangling: NO, Dad!! We'll get you medicine from Bubu Pharmacy!!]
(Yes — VIP viewers could enter public streams, but not vice versa.)
[Uncle Tian: cough …I can feel my life force draining again…]
[Zhiyi: Uncle Tian! Hold on! Stay with us!]
[Iron Tongue Tian: Azhdaha was once the embodiment of divine power—and you dare turn him into a meme?! Aren't you afraid of his wrath, @TheMishearingManiac?!]
[Huixin: Exactly!! Dragon King will NEVER forgive this insult!]
[Mao Caigong: END HIM, AZHDAHA! TEAR THAT MAN APART!]
Liyue raged in unison.
Half were furious because their eyes were permanently scarred.
The other half were outraged at the blatant disrespect toward the Adepti and gods.
The other six nations?
Eating popcorn.
[Eremite A: HAHAHA! Now you Liyue folks know how WE felt yesterday!]
[Cyria: Good! As long as he stops roasting Sumeru characters, we're even!]
[Timaeus: Poor Liyue… your divine beast just became comedy material.]
[Grace: If Dvalin ever danced like that, I'd riot too…]
[Sister Gothlinde: As long as he leaves Barbatos alone! And if I catch YOU doing that cow-wiggle at the Anemo Statue again, I SWEAR I'll end you, @Venti!]
[Venti: Ehe~ (counting the few thousand Mora he earned from the meme)]
[Cecilius: Got smacked by a Cryo Lawachurl earlier, now I'm blind. Just kill me already.]
[Albert: I am officially traumatized by these livestreams.]
[Traveler From Fontaine: When's he roasting Inazuma and Mondstadt?]
[Kujou Takayuki: If he mocks the Shogun, he will face Musou no Hitotachi!!]
And so the world trembled — half from laughter, half from terror —
as Teyvat's most infamous creator continued to dig a deeper and deeper grave.
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