The video began.
BOOM!!
Once again, the kitchen inside Tenshukaku erupted in a fiery explosion of smoke and sparks.
Pots clanged. Dishes flew. A poor slab of meat lay charred beyond recognition.
"That's the ninety-ninth time," Xiangling sighed, pressing her palm to her forehead. "And you still haven't cooked it properly."
Raiden Ei stood stiffly beside the stove, arms crossed beneath her chest, brows furrowed, storm clouds brewing in her eyes.
"I've endured enough of this nonsense," she snapped.
Then she threw down her ladle like a gauntlet.
"You simply haven't taught me properly! Otherwise, how could I, the Shogun, possibly fail?"
[Xiangling: WAIT—What's happening?! I—I'm teaching Raiden Shogun how to cook?! (panic.jpg)]
[Amber: The Electro Archon can't cook?! No way!]
[Arataki Itto: HA! Weak sauce! What a lame Archon!]
[Yae Miko: I can confirm. Ei can't even fry an egg.]
[Raiden Ei: Miko… WHAT did you just say? ⚡]
[Kaeya: Oho? Was that an indirect love confession?]
[Xingqiu: To think the mighty Raiden Shogun would falter in… culinary arts.]
[Eula: Cooking is a vital skill of nobility! The Archon clearly lacks refinement.]
[Dori: Fufu~ Even gods have their cute little flaws.]
[Hu Tao: And those flaws make them human! …Wait.]
[Kujou Sara: ENOUGH MOCKERY OF THE SHOGUN! (fury intensifies.jpg)]
Back in the video—
Xiangling threw her hands in the air, exasperated.
"I was clear! I walked you through every step!"
Raiden Ei tilted her chin, pride gleaming like lightning behind her eyes.
"Oh really? Then why do I remember nothing?"
"Do you even know how to chop vegetables?!" Xiangling demanded, hand on her hip.
"What? You never taught me that!" Ei shot back, affronted.
Xiangling's jaw dropped.
"You need to be taught how to chop vegetables?! Maybe I should call in Lisa from next door!"
[Arataki Itto: PFFFT! She needs lessons to chop veggies?! I'm dead! 😂]
[Yanfei: Who's this 'Lisa next door' supposed to be?]
[Eula: Doesn't matter. I can't believe what I just heard.]
[Yae Miko: I assure you, she's quite serious. snrk]
[Raiden Ei: MIKO!! ⚡⚡⚡]
[Gorou: She may not chop veggies, but she does chop gods. Ask Orobaxi.]
[Kazuha: Mm… the sudden and inevitable slash. A familiar feeling.]
[Paimon: This Xiangling girl's so brave! She's scolding the Shogun!]
[Xiangling: I'M NOT! I DIDN'T! Don't say that! (about to cry.jpg)]
Raiden's voice dropped, cold and deadly.
"You dare mock me?"
"It's not mocking—it's facts," Xiangling retorted, arms crossed.
"Absurd!"
"I'm serious! Even a Slime cooks better than you!"
"Hah! Please. Even Hilichurls are spicier than you!"
[Paimon: PFFT—"Slimes cook better than you!" Xiangling's got claws!]
[Lumine: And then Ei claps back with 'Even Hilichurls are spicier!' HAHAHA!]
[Kaeya: Honestly… not wrong. Xiangling's more sweet than spicy.]
[Xingqiu: She gives 'adorable little sister' energy.]
[Xiangling: STOP IT! I'M DYING FROM EMBARRASSMENT!! 😫]
"I've had enough!" Xiangling huffed, turning away.
"I'm going back to Liyue. I can't spend another second in Inazuma!"
She glared sidelong at Raiden.
"Wasting such a gorgeous wife face on someone who can't even fry tofu… what a tragedy."
Raiden's eye twitched.
With a sharp flick of her hand, she threw up a middle finger and shouted:
"BAKA!! 凸(▼皿▼#)"
The video cut to black.
The VIP chat exploded.
[Arataki Itto: THAT WAS ART! Wife-face—BAHAHA!]
[Yanfei: Ahem. Let's call that… a spirited exchange of views.]
[Yae Miko: 'Wife face'—I'm dead. HAHAHAHA!! (desk-slam.gif)]
[Raiden Ei: YOU!! I'M COMING TO THE SHRINE RIGHT NOW! ⚡😡]
[Rosaria: Oh? Someone's salty.]
[Kaeya: Can't blame her. That was… lethal.]
[Keqing: Wife face and can't cook? Don't you dare step foot in Inazuma again! 😂]
[Venti: Once again, The Mishearing Maniac's trolling artistry shines. Bravo. 🍷]
Arataki Gang Hideout
Still covered in allergic rashes, Itto slapped his thigh mid-wheeze.
"'WIFE FACE?!' HAHAHA! I'm GONE—bro I can't—"
He howled, tears rolling down his face.
All that anger from losing his Vision?
Gone.
Purged.
The Raiden Shogun, humiliated in front of the whole world!
And Kujou Sara? Probably smashing walls right about now.
He clutched his sides.
"I'm a fan now. Forever. Long live The Mishearing Maniac!"
Mondstadt – A Small Rented Flat
BANG BANG BANG BANG!
Mona was pounding her desk, laughing uncontrollably.
"'Even Hilichurls are spicier than Xiangling!'—and she really said 'WIFE FACE?!' AHAHAHAHA!"
Five minutes ago, she'd been ready to curse this livestreamer to the Abyss.
Now? She was a believer.
"This stream must go on. Let the chaos flow! Let all of Teyvat suffer with me!"
And across the continent—
In taverns and tea houses, palaces and alleyways—
Laughter echoed.
◇ I'll be dropping one bonus chapters for every 10 reviews. comment
◇ One bonus chapter will be released for every 100 Power Stones.
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