I closed my shoe locker, slipping the key absentmindedly in my jacket as another sigh escaped me.
Why did Rin act like that? Was it something I'd said or done?
I didn't even get to talk to her about the Grail… hopefully, we could have another chat without her trying to shoot me with Gandr before asking questions—
"Senpai?"
A soft, familiar voice suddenly came from behind, followed by approaching footsteps. As I turned around, I saw Sakura standing there, wearing her archery club outfit, and looking at me in confusion.
"What are you doing here?"
For a heartbeat, I stared back at her, words escaping me. Crap, I should've thought of an excuse beforehand.
"I, um…" I stalled for another moment while my brain kicked in high gear. "I came to check on something."
Sakura inched closer, an unreadable look on her face. Even I could tell that she didn't buy any of that.
"Ah, I see…"
An awkward silence stretched across the room as Sakura gripped her arm in a nervous gesture. "Senpai, about this morning," she said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "You said that you wanted to tell me something?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "We'll talk when we get back home. It's not something to talk about where other people could overhear."
Sakura went quiet in return, an unreadable flicker of emotion crossing her face as her grip tightened around her arm. Why was she acting so nervous?
"I understand. I'll wait until later."
More awkward silence followed as she stood there, looking at the wall of shoe lockers across the room, with the same blank stare she used to have back then, when we'd first met.
Sakura…
"Let's go. We can grab something sweet on the way home. My treat." I gestured with my gaze towards the exit, expecting her to follow, but she just stood there, giving me a strange look.
"Senpai, I have archery practice until late afternoon. Did you forget?"
I paused, blinking owlishly. Ah, right. Sundays always kept her busy with the club.
"Sorry, Sakura," I said with an apologetic smile. "I've had a lot of things on my mind lately." Ever since last night, I felt like I had a tangled ball of yarn stuffed in my head. I really had to sit down and sort through that chaos.
"No, it's fine." The girl shook her head, a tinge of concern in her tone. "Please don't push yourself too hard."
"I'll do my best," I said with a small, reassuring smile as Sakura tucked a lock of silky hair behind her ear.
The two of us lapsed into silence.
My gaze lingered on her pale, slender neck before I looked away, pretending to adjust my jacket despite the flash of heat threatening to creep up my face. Her namesake really suited her. She was beautiful just like a freshly blooming flower.
Eyes flickering again to the exit, I adjusted the school bag over my shoulder, combing a hand through my hair. "Well, have fun at your club. I'll see you later," I said, ready to take my leave.
Sakura kept standing there though, an unspoken question clearly written on her face.
"Sakura?" I said, looking at her in concern. "Is something wrong?"
"No, that's not it, but…" she said, averting her eyes as she grabbed her arm nervously, "um, if you're not busy, would you like to come to the dojo and watch us practice?"
I nearly said yes, only managing to stay my tongue at the last moment. "Maybe next time? I've something to take care of at home." I'd kinda dropped the ball earlier when I left, but a fancy dinner should get me back in good graces with the lion king.
"I see…" Sakura said, a look of dismay flitting across her face. "Sorry for troubling you then."
She bowed in apology, and, for a moment, I wanted nothing else than to step forward and pull her into a hug. I fought back the impulse, shaking my head.
"Don't say that. You're never troubling me, Sakura." I just didn't want to see Shinji's face, or I might really end up punching him in front of everyone.
Sakura remained quiet, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
"I can help you practice at home if you want. I can get a bow and set up a target in the yard," I said, flashing her a warm smile. "But I really have to go now."
It took her a moment to process, a faint red dusting coloring her cheeks as she briefly met my eyes before quickly looking away.
"Y-Yes. I'll be going, too." Sakura returned the smile, something small and slightly shy. "See you later, senpai." Then she quickly turned around, running off to the other isle as I stood there, watching her until she disappeared behind the row of lockers.
"See you later, Sakura." I raised my voice enough that she would hear me as I walked outside. A sigh escaped me as my eyes drifted to the sky, hands clenching at my side.
I'd find a way to save her, no matter what.
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I stared flatly at the pack of sword-shaped chopsticks in my hand, lips pursing. When did I even do this? I've only held these for like half a minute while waiting in line…
Sighing, I placed it aside and continued laying out the groceries neatly on the kitchen counter.
Saber had already taken her seat at the table, keeping a silent vigil in the living room. She looked like a stern warrior protecting her domain, but I had a feeling she was just waiting for dinner.
Smiling, I moved the vegetables to the sink and left them to soak in water for a while. It's been a while since I made a western dish. Saber didn't strike me as the picky sort. She'd probably eat anything as long as it tasted good, but I wanted to spoil Sakura a little with her favorite food—
A sudden thought gave me pause, eyes shooting wide as I stood there, staring dumbly at the wall.
Fuck. Gilgamesh…
He was that blonde foreigner Sakura told me about a few days ago…
A golden clad figure wearing a condescending smirk flashed to mind, leaving a frown on my face. Gilgamesh shouldn't be a problem right now, but we had to get ready for him.
Maybe we could jump him with Saber and Berserker? If they bought me enough time to pop my reality marble, and Saber used Avalon…
A sigh escaped me as I turned the water back on and started washing the potatoes.
Stupid war…
I had to take some time after dinner and write down everything I could remember about this Grail War. I couldn't afford to fumble around and get blindsided. I needed a plan.
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"Shirou, I'm hooome!"
With a loud voice resembling more of a war cry than a greeting, Hurricane Taiga swept through the door, nearly knocking over a picture frame on her way to the table.
"Good evening, senpai." A soft and much more subdued voice followed as Sakura walked inside the living room, a soothing smile blooming on her lips the moment she saw me.
I placed the knife on the cutting board, leaving the half-diced bell peppers behind as I stepped from around the kitchen counter, a smile on my face.
"Hello, Sakura. I'm making a western dish if you want to help."
"Of course," she said, quickly leaving her school bag on a nearby chair, gaze lingering on Saber as she made her way across the room. Maybe I should've asked her to come earlier…
"Fuji-nee, what did I tell you about running inside the house?"
Taiga didn't react to my words, too busy staring at the dining table, where Artoria sat like a stoic king before her subjects. Oh boy…
Sakura had gone quiet as well, the hint of a frown on her lips.
The silence was deafening.
Taiga kept standing there, eyeing Saber in open suspicion. I really hoped she wouldn't make a fuss about this.
"Shirou, who's this?"
I took a deep breath, pushing a smile to my face. Here we go…
"She's Saber. She knew dad and came here to visit him, but, you know…" I trailed off, smiling awkwardly as Artoria gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. "She had some trouble with her lodging, and I offered to let her stay here for a while."
More silence followed my words.
I could understand why Fuji-nee and Sakura would be quiet, but why did Saber look so surprised?
Maybe I should've gone with a different excuse—
A long sigh pierced through the room like a lance as Taiga rested her hands on her hips. "Well, if she's an acquaintance of Mr. Kiritsugu, it can't be helped. I heard he had some relatives overseas, so… was it… Miss Saber?" She took another curious look at Artoria before crossing her arms. "She seems reliable, so I have no objections."
A beat of silence followed the Tiger's verdict. Huh. That was easier than I thought.
Sakura was still oddly quiet, though. I'd honestly expected her to protest but she kept standing there with an unreadable look on her face.
"Are you okay with this, Sakura? You spend so much time here, it may as well be half your house, too."
"Um," For a moment, Sakura looked like a deer caught in the headlights, averting her gaze as she clasped her hands together bashfully. I had a feeling that she took the joke more seriously than I meant it. "If senpai is fine with it, then I am too."
I couldn't help a smile.
This solved one problem.
"Alright." My gaze shifted from Sakura to Taiga. "Fuji-nee, can you help me with something?"
"Of course!" Taiga said with an eager grin, flexing an arm as she grabbed her bicep with the other. "Leave it to your dependable big sister."
I barely held in a snort. Dependable? Debatable.
"Great. I need you to go buy me a bottle of coffee liquor from the convenience store."
Taiga made a curious noise, her lips curling impishly. She eyed me like a mischievous cat, ready to pounce on a poor mouse. "You're not taking up any bad habits from Mr. Kiritsugu, are you, Shirou?"
I met her teasing attempt with the flattest look I could muster. "I was thinking to whip up a nice dessert since we have so many guests, but it's fine if you don't want to go. We can have rice crackers with honey instead."
Taiga recoiled as if slapped, the smile sliding off her face as her eyes widened. "Wait, Shirou! I'll go! What are you making? Cake? I haven't had that in a while."
A victorious smile twitched on my lips. She was so easy. "You'll see." I said cryptically as the Tiger crossed her arms with a huff.
"Fine. Keep your secrets."
She looked away, pretending to be angry, but she wasn't fooling anyone.
"A surprise dessert always tastes better."
Taiga considered my words, eyes narrowing slightly. "Alright. But it better be good." She jabbed a finger at me, holding it there for a few seconds before she finally went to grab her purse.
A small, exasperated sigh escaped me as I shook my head. This was like herding cats.
I kept my ears open as Taiga stepped out into the hallway, and, as soon as I heard the front door closing behind her, I turned to Sakura, giving her a tired smile.
"Let's go to the guest room."
I gestured with my gaze towards the door, but Sakura merely shifted her weight from one foot to the other, gripping her arm nervously.
"But senpai…" she said, uncertain, her gaze flickering towards the kitchen, where the half-prepared ingredients lay around on the countertop. "What about the dinner?"
"Don't worry about that," I said with a brief shake of the head. "There's plenty of time to finish. I promised you some answers, and that's more important right now."
Another flicker of hesitation crossed Sakura's face as the words hung between us, but then she let out a soft, relenting breath. "Alright," she said after a moment as she walked up to my side. "I understand."
Good. Now all I had to do was not mess this up…
__________________________________________
Sakura looked around the sparsely decorated room, her fingers tangled in the hem of her shirt. The nervous knot in her stomach wound up even tighter as senpai closed the door, and she caught another glimpse of the unmistakable marks on his left hand.
Command seals...
"How much do you know?" The words escaped her mouth as senpai approached with quiet steps, a complicated smile on his face.
"The important parts, I guess," he said after a moment. "I know who started the Grail War and why."
For a heartbeat, she didn't dare even breathe, a cold and heavy feeling lodging in her chest. Did he… did he know? Had he known the entire time?
Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, she gripped tighter at her shirt, her mouth too dry that she needed another moment before she spoke, "You know about Tōsaka-senpai, then?"
He couldn't know about that… could he?
"Yeah. I know that she's part of the three founding families, along with the Einzbern and the Matō."
If senpai also turned away from her… she… she'd have nothing left.
Swallowing another nervous knot, she took a steadying breath. "What do you know about my family?"
She dreaded the answer, but living with the uncertainty would've eaten her from the inside worse than those worms.
"Not that much," he said with a slight shake of his head. "I know they came from Russia and created the command seals for the Grail War," he paused, glancing to the side thoughtfully. "And how they use insects with their magecraft."
A cold feeling twisted in the pit of her stomach by the time senpai finished speaking. The silence was deafening as she searched his face. A relieved breath left her after a moment.
He didn't know, did he? He couldn't know. He'd turn her away if he ever did.
"In broad strokes, yes," she said, tangling her fingers in the fabric of her skirt to hide her shaking hands. "I can't tell you more, though. I'm sorry, senpai."
"No, it's fine. I know. Family secrets. All magi do that."
She pushed a small smile to her lips, feeling another wave of relief that he didn't pry any further.
Something else must've shown on her face though, as he quickly added, "Dad had his secrets, too. He adopted me after the last Grail War, but he refused to teach me magecraft at first. I was stubborn enough that he gave in after a while," he said with a smile.
Senpai was adopted?
"But he didn't tell me much about his family or his past. Only that he took part in the last war, and how it ended…"
She waited for a moment but senpai didn't say anything else, a heavy silence settling in the room. She could understand why. Grandfather had mentioned it a while ago in passing.
"The fire from ten years ago," she said quietly, only to immediately regret it as the ghost of a grimace flashed across senpai's face.
"Yeah. That's where he found me."
A pang of guilt twisted like a knife in her chest. "I'm sorry." Senpai had lost his family in that fire… "I didn't mean to bring back unpleasant memories," she quickly said, but he simply waved it off with a smile.
"Don't worry about it, Sakura. I'm fine. It's been a decade since."
"It was still thoughtless of me…" she said, shifting awkwardly on her feet as she tried to think of something to change the subject. "But senpai, why didn't you say anything if you knew about my family?"
Another pang of guilt stabbed her as she caught the brief, conflicted look on senpai's face.
"My dad insisted that I shouldn't tell anyone about magecraft," he said, lifting his left hand to show three command seals in the shape of a sword. "It was supposed to take decades until another Grail War, but when I saw these appear last night…"
A heavy sigh escaped senpai as he let his arm hang limply at his side, the atmosphere in the room turning somber.
Why did he have to get caught up in this war…
Did his father force him into it? If he was anything like her father…
"I'm sorry to spring this on you so suddenly, Sakura. I was worried that you might be involved in the war."
She quickly shook her head, not trusting her voice. She gave up Rider to her brother, but… as long as she had those command seals, she was still a Master…
"Not really…"
Her heart clenched painfully at the lie. Even if it was true in a way, it still hurt to have to deceive him.
"I see. That's good," he said with a smile that only made her feel even worse.
"But senpai… why did you come to me about this? If you are looking for an ally, there isn't much I could help you with. I don't know any useful magecraft."
The only thing she had were those vile worms crawling inside her. Without Rider, she was useless. She would only drag senpai down…
"That's not why I wanted to talk to you, Sakura. I just wanted to make sure that you're safe. Master or not, your family is still part of the War, and your brother might put you in danger."
Ah… she'd misunderstood. Senpai thought that her brother was the true Master.
She opened her mouth, another lie waiting on her lips, only to pause before she could let it go. Trying to deny it wouldn't do any good at this point. She swallowed it back, a wry, sour feeling curling in her chest.
Grandfather would surely find this irony amusing…
"Senpai, are you sure you want to take part in this war? You could get badly hurt, or even worse…"
She didn't dare finish that sentence, even in the privacy of her mind.
"Yeah."
Her heart sank at his answer. Why did he have to put himself in danger… did he wish for the Grail that much—
No. Senpai wasn't like that.
"The Grail chose me. I don't think I can just back out—"
"You could run and wait it out," she said, voice coming out louder than she intended. Even if he already had a Servant, he could just get rid of her and hide until everything was over.
"I can't." Senpai shook his head. "I can't just turn my back like that. I want to end this war before any more people get hurt. The gas leaks. The strange murders. I can't let it continue like this," he said, jaw tense as his hands clenched at his side.
She opened her mouth, but no words came out. What could she say to those eyes that looked like unyielding steel?
"But above that, I want to make sure that you won't get hurt."
More guilt stabbed at her chest. "You don't have to worry about me, senpai…"
He shouldn't put himself in danger for her sake…
"Sakura… you're the one I want to keep safe the most in this war."
Her heart skipped a beat at his words. Eyes-wide, she stared at his softly smiling face, a spark of joy fighting that ugly feeling in her chest. A moment later, she felt a pair of arms wrapping around gently as senpai pulled her into a hug.
He held her quietly like that, all her worries melting away in his warm embrace, even if only briefly.
"I'm going to protect you. Even from your family if I have to."
Looking up, she met a warm, reassuring smile that sent a flutter through her stomach, but despite the joy filling her chest, that treacherous voice at the back of her mind refused to stay quiet.
If senpai did anything to anger grandfather…
She didn't dare finish that thought, her stomach dropping as though she'd swallowed a cold stone. She wrapped her own arms around senpai, finding comfort in his warmth.
She wasn't sure how long they stood there, embracing each other silently, but after a while, he pulled back, the sudden lack of warmth leaving a void in her chest.
"Sakura," he broke the silence, that hint of steel back in his eyes.
"Yes?"
"I want you to stay the night."
Her eyes flew wide, his words echoing in her mind. "S-senpai?" Her voice came out with a stutter, a flash of heat creeping up her face, burning at her ears as those amber eyes kept pinning her with unusual intensity. She looked away, her gaze flickering to the empty bed across the room as her cheeks heated up even more.
This was so sudden, what should she even say—
A familiar longing stirred deep inside her as she looked back at senpai, her treacherous mind conjuring an image that she quickly banished, hoping it wouldn't awaken those things—
"With the Grail War in full swing, it's not safe outside, especially at this hour."
His words washed over her like a bucket of icy water. Ah… of course he couldn't have meant it like that.
Why would he ever want someone tainted like her? Someone like her didn't deserve a kind and caring person like senpai.
"I don't think it's that late yet. You can walk me home. I'll be fine," she said, trying to push a reassuring smile to her lips, but senpai shook his head, that stubborn glimmer never leaving his eyes.
"I want you to stay with me. You'll be the safest here, Sakura."
"But my brother… he doesn't like it when I spend time at your house."
If her brother found out about this…
She took a shuddering breath, not wanting to think about it.
"I don't care." Senpai's jaw clenched stubbornly. "If Shinji has a problem with this, he can talk to me."
"Okay," she said, an unpleasant feeling coiling tightly inside her. Did something happen between her brother and senpai? "If you're this serious about it, I'll stay here tonight."
He smiled, hugging her again into his broad chest, his strong arms wrapping around her protectively, yet his warmth only made her feel even dirtier.
"Thank you. I know I'm being selfish, but it's the best thing I could think of."
"No," she said, her voice coming out firmer than she expected. Senpai wasn't selfish. "It's not selfish. I understand why you're so concerned, and it made me happy to hear you say that."
She was the selfish one.
But she couldn't give up. She couldn't give up on him. Especially now, when she finally felt like she had a chance. A selfish, dirty, disgusting, and unclean girl like her. She didn't deserve him…
But she didn't want to think of a future without him.
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I covered a yawn, rubbing my hands together to warm them as I walked with Saber at my side, the rhythmic clinking of her steel boots on asphalt echoing in the eerie quiet of the night.
I should've been sleeping at this hour, but that talk with Sakura gave me an idea, and I'd rather get this sorted as soon as possible.
"You shouldn't push yourself if you're tired, Shirou. Exhaustion is the enemy," Saber spoke as we passed by a flickering streetlight, the tips of her gauntlets gleaming from beneath her jacket.
I couldn't help a smile at her nostalgic words. "Right up there with hunger, isn't it?"
"Precisely," she said, the corners of her mouth quirking ever so slightly. A rare smile that softened her stern face and made her look less like a king from legends and more like a normal girl. My gaze lingered, mesmerized, as the streetlamps spilled their pale light over her golden hair, casting brief shadows that danced gently across her face.
"Is there something on my face, Shirou?"
The sudden question nearly made me jump as Saber's green eyes met mine, a curious gleam lurking in their depths.
"N-No," I shook my head, a flash of heat burning at my ears. "Sorry about that, I just spaced out a little."
"Perhaps we should head back home so you can rest."
"I'm not that tired, and this shouldn't take long. I just want to show you something."
Squeezing in a little patrol was just a bonus. I wouldn't have slept peacefully knowing about those gas leaks without trying to do anything about it. I couldn't do much about Caster just yet, but if I ever saw Shinji…
I clenched my hands at my side, pushing a long breath through my nose. Actions had consequences, and it was about time he learned that, too.
"It must be something important if you're being so stubborn about it," Artoria said as we rounded a corner, the park finally coming into view.
"Yeah, we're here," I said, voice smaller as we approached. With every step, my stomach twisted unpleasantly as glimpses of that burning hellscape surfaced to mind.
I've only been here once before, but I could deal with a few unpleasant memories if it meant convincing Saber that the Grail War was a scam.
"This is where the Grail manifested in the previous War," I said as we stepped inside the park, ignoring the shiver that crawled up my spine.
Saber looked around, her brows slightly furrowed. A flash of emotion crossed her face, too quickly to decipher, before she buried everything under her ever-stoic mask.
I gestured around the place. "Few people ever step foot in here. You can probably feel why."
Artoria nodded, her frown deepening. "It feels as if the earth itself holds a grudge…"
Yeah, that was a good way of putting it.
"Kiritsugu realized that the Grail was possessed and ordered his Servant to destroy it, but that didn't go well. The curses spilled out and turned part of the city into a living hell."
"Yes. I've seen how it began." Saber came to a stop, her piercing green eyes observing me intently. "Kiritsugu ordered me to destroy the Grail."
Another flicker of emotion surfaced from beneath her stoic mask, followed by a tense beat of silence.
"But you already knew that."
I nodded, swallowing a nervous lump in my throat under her intense gaze. "Yeah," I said after a moment, rubbing my neck while smiling sheepishly. "Kiritsugu didn't go into details, but I've figured a few things on my own. He had Avalon, but without you, the healing shouldn't have been powerful enough to save me on that night."
In a way, Saber had saved me as much as Kiritsugu did.
Artoria said nothing in response, the two of us lapsing into silence. I could've called it comfortable, if not for the way she kept staring at me for some reason.
"I apologize for doubting you, Shirou."
Ah. That.
There was no need to apologize for something like that, though…
"It's fine, Saber. I wouldn't blame you for not believing something without any sort of proof," I said, and she went quiet again, the ghost of a frown marring her face.
To be honest, she was taking this whole thing better than I expected.
"The Grail may be tainted, but it's too early to lose hope," she said after a moment, a stubborn gleam in her eyes. "There might be a way to purify it, or else what of our purpose and struggles? Everything until now would have been meaningless."
Or not…
My eyes wandered across the empty park as I fought back a grimace. I couldn't blame her though. For someone with such a burning wish like Saber, this revelation may as well be a spear driven through her heart.
But purifying the Grail? That might be a pipe dream. Unless…
A frown pulled at my lips. If there was anyone capable of handling the Grail without spilling any of that evil juice, it was probably her.
I'd rather have nothing to do with that two-faced, backstabbing witch, but she could help Illya. Sakura too…
"Someone like Caster might know something. We could try talking to her."
If she stopped harming people, I could pretend she didn't exist.
Saber's brow creased ever so slightly at the suggestion, a thoughtful look crossing her face. "I agree. Caster should be able to easily discern the true nature of the Grail, and she might be the only one who could find a solution to this predicament. But we must exercise caution. Lancer warned us about her, and I couldn't sense any deceit in his last words."
I nodded along, covering a yawn. "We can think of a plan tomorrow. We should head back home and get some rest. It's probably midnight by now."
And I'd rather get away from this place before I started feeling sick.
"Understood," she said, and we quickly left the park, heading back to Miyama.
Saber stayed quiet during our walk, and I had too many things on my mind to try and make any small talk. I kept an eye and ear open for anything suspicious, though by the time we reached the residential district, it became clear that nothing else was going to happen tonight—
Saber abruptly paused mid-step, her head swiveling sharply to the left as she slid into battle-ready stance. A gust of air coalesced in her hands as she stared intently at the nearby park, holding her invisible sword in a tight grip.
"Shirou, I'm sensing a Servant."
I followed her gaze, my stomach twisting in anticipation. My eyes quickly went to the sky as I did a cursory sweep, but I didn't see any of those glowing birds flying around. She said that she would find me—
I froze as a high-pitched voice suddenly pierced through the night. A scream for help.
A jolt surged through my veins, thoughts crashing to a halt. Someone was in danger. My feet moved before I even realized, heart picking up in my chest as I ran towards that park, hoping I would make it in time.
"Let's go, Saber!"
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