The car ride was silent except for the occasional hum of the radio playing in the background. Benson's car smelled like his signature cologne—something woodsy with a hint of vanilla. The interior was pristine, like always, and the dashboard lights illuminated his face in a soft glow as he drove.
I stared out the window, watching as streetlights flickered past in a blur. My fingers played absentmindedly with the hem of my dress. I needed to focus, to be in the present, but guilt sat heavy in my chest like an anchor.
Beside me, Benson drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, a small habit of his when he was deep in thought. Lately, things between us had been...off. Not bad, exactly, but distant. There was a weight between us that neither of us had acknowledged, a space we hadn't quite figured out how to close.
He sighed, finally breaking the silence. "I'm sorry I can't stay tonight. My dad needs help with something, and I might not even be able to pick you up later."
I turned to look at him, studying his features. The bluish hue of his eyes softened in the dim car light. He was handsome, cute even, in a way that felt familiar and safe.
"That's okay," I said, forcing a small smile. "Thanks for driving us, though."
He glanced at me and smiled back, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Of course. You know I'd rather be with you than dealing with legal documents all night."
I laughed lightly, but the sound felt hollow. We were good at this—pretending things were fine even when the silence screamed otherwise.
We pulled up in front of the house, a massive two-story place with lights spilling from every window. The muffled bass of music pulsed through the walls, and the driveway was already lined with parked cars. A typical college party.
Maddie was already halfway out of the car before Benson had fully stopped. She smoothed down her red crop top and matching skirt, her excitement radiating off her like heat.
"I'll wait for you by the entrance," she said over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.
I hesitated, my fingers resting on the door handle. Benson turned slightly in his seat, his gaze settling on me.
"Are you okay?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.
I nodded too quickly. "Yeah, of course."
His eyes searched mine for a second longer before he sighed, running a hand through his blond hair. "Alright. Have fun tonight, okay?"
"I will," I lied.
He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against my lips. It was warm, familiar. Safe. But as I pulled away, my mind betrayed me, flashing to another kiss.
I swallowed hard, forcing the thoughts away. This kiss was better. This was right.
I stepped out of the car and waved as he drove away, watching as his taillights disappeared down the street. Taking a deep breath, I turned toward the party, adjusting my dress as I made my way inside.
Maddie was waiting on the porch, her green eyes sparkling under the dim glow of the string lights. She bounced slightly on her heels, practically vibrating with excitement. "Finally! Come on, let's go have some fun."
Together, we walked into the house, and the scene swallowed us whole.
The space was alive with energy—red solo cups littered every surface, laughter and conversation blended into the heavy bass of the music, and the air was thick with the scent of alcohol and perfume. The kitchen was packed with people, drinks being poured without hesitation, and the living room was a mess of dancing bodies.
I had barely made it two steps inside before a shot glass was shoved into my hand.
"Drink!" someone cheered.
Without thinking, I tipped it back, the burn of tequila sliding down my throat.
The night blurred from there. One shot turned into five. Somehow, I ended up in a circle playing a drinking game I didn't remember joining.
The world just seems like a happy place, everyone seems happy.
The group that I'm playing with seems amused by my state even though we are all in a way in the same situation.
Some couples are making out on the couches in the living room, some on the walls and after a few moments I realize that I must have been staring at one in particular. I quickly look down and continue with the game. Where the hell is Maddie anyway?
She disappeared at some point, but that wasn't unusual. She thrived in environments like this, bouncing from one conversation to another, completely at ease.
I wasn't, but tonight, I didn't care. Tonight, I wanted to forget.
I laughed along with the group, my head buzzing pleasantly. A guy sitting across from me—tall, dark-haired, with a knowing smirk—kept glancing in my direction. His gaze lingered a little too long on my legs, the curve of my dress.
I shifted under his stare, suddenly aware of how good I must look tonight.
Where the hell is Maddie?
The thought barely formed before I remembered the last time I saw her. She was being dragged away—by Trevor.
A knot tightened in my stomach. Maddie and Trevor's relationship was volatile at best, and while she could handle herself, I didn't like the idea of him pulling her away from the party.
I stood, wobbling slightly, and excused myself from the group, having decided to go look for her.
And that is how I ended up face to face with Aiden who had been making out with the red head under him.
I find myself wondering why I just had to take a piss in the bathroom of this particular bedroom, not that I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have went searching for Maddie after all. I've been going through all the rooms in this house and when I got to this one, I decided to pee and now I regret it more than anything.
For a moment, I couldn't move.
God, I don't even know how to react.
The room spun slightly—not from the alcohol, but from something else. Something sharp and unwelcome.
I shouldn't care. I shouldn't feel anything.
But I did.
I'm standing on the doorway of the bathroom, and I wish I could disappear.
The bedroom's door opens right then and Maddie's head pokes through and it just so happens to be facing me as well.
"Oh my God Katie? I've been looking for you!" she exclaims.
"Anyway, I saw someone who looks a whole lot like Aiden coming in here with some redhead. Like what the fuck, is he cheating on you, I mean technically you're not dating and you're going to cut him off but still. Wait, was it you? But I swear I saw red hair." she finishes once more and once again I have absolutely no idea what to say.
I look over at Aiden to find him looking at me with a raised eyebrow and the red head underneath him which with no doubt whatsoever is his girlfriend is furious and keeps glaring at both Aiden and me.
"What? What's wrong?" Maddie walks into the room and follows my eyesight which lands on the duo.
"Oh!" that's all she manages to say, and I snap out of my trance.
Without a word I drag Maddie out the room and we both go downstairs to get some booze no questions asked.
Maddie did the same, though I could tell she was watching me carefully.
I could also tell that she had been crying. Her makeup was slightly smudged, and her green eyes were red-rimmed. But she didn't say anything about it, and neither did I.
We spent the rest of the night drinking and dancing with strangers, throwing ourselves into the chaos of the party.
For tonight, we ignored the imperfections.
A new song came on—one of our favorites. Cheap Thrills by Sia.
Maddie grinned, pulling me onto the dance floor. We laughed, twirling and jumping, the weight of the night momentarily lifting.
As the party raged on, I still hadn't seen Aiden again. Nor had I seen Trevor.
By the time morning rolled around, Maddie and I were curled up on a stained couch in the corner of the living room.
I had called a cab.
Maddie was sobbing quietly, and I was holding her, rubbing slow circles on her back.
The party was winding down, people leaving in pairs, in groups, or alone. The house was trashed—spilled drinks, abandoned cups, the smell of sweat and alcohol clinging to the air.
It had been a long night.