The next morning, in the Fairy Tail guild hall.
Shane was sprawled across a wooden table like a puddle of sludge, eyes unfocused.
Just thinking about the abstract outfits Erza had pulled out of her Requip space last night gave him a headache.
A swimsuit rubber-duck onesie?
A fluffy pajama set with a hat that had an alpaca neck attached?
And that outrageously flashy hot-pink rock-star cardigan—
Thank god there wasn't a camera at home. Just imagining that kind of blackmail material being preserved for eternity made Shane shudder.
He shook his head hard, trying to fling those horrifying memories out of his brain.
But the thing that truly made his heart seize—and that he had refused with absolute, unwavering resistance—
Was the gorgeous Lolita dress Erza had produced at the very end.
Yes. She'd actually wanted him to cross-dress.
At that thought, Shane clenched his molars.
Cross-dressing was not happening. Never.
Cross-dressing was "zero times or infinitely many times." And Shane—even if he died, even if he jumped off Magnolia's clock tower, he was not giving in!
And the price of holding the line was—
He'd tried on more than ten outfits in total, each one more spiritually contaminating than the last.
"Has Erza… gotten worse lately?" Shane balled his fists, the more he thought about it, the more suspicious he felt.
"Somebody had better not be teaching her nonsense! If I find out who it is, Arash's arrows won't be the only thing sharp around here!"
Right as his internal monologue went off the rails—
BANG!
The guild doors were kicked open with such force the windows hummed.
That door-kicking style… Gray?
Shane lazily lifted his gaze—only to see a blast of fire.
No—Natsu, with his pink hair, barreling in like a wildfire.
"SHANE! LET'S DUEL!" Natsu yelled from halfway across the hall.
Shane rolled his eyes. He'd almost forgotten the guild recently acquired someone with even more excess energy than Gray.
He weakly waved a hand and buried his face back on the table. "Sorry. Not in the mood. Some other day."
"W-Why?!" Natsu zipped to the table and tried a clumsy taunt. "Don't tell me you're scared?!"
"Natsu," Cana cut in from the side, smirking while shuffling cards, "you can't even beat Gray. Don't go picking a fight with Shane and embarrass yourself."
"Hah?!" Natsu sprang up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. "That was yesterday! It was an accident! Like I'd lose to that exhibitionist freak who strips every five seconds!"
He huffed and scanned the hall for Gray so he could take his revenge—but Gray wasn't anywhere to be found.
"Don't bother looking," Cana "kindly" reminded him.
"Gray heard Erza's back. He definitely won't show up at the guild today."
"E-Erza?!" Natsu's voice cracked. His whole body visibly froze for a second, then he started looking around in a panic. "W-Where is Erza?!"
Watching Natsu act like a traumatized rabbit, Shane felt pure disbelief.
He genuinely didn't understand where the fear came from.
Sure, yesterday's Erza had been terrifying… but on normal days she was still pretty cute—well, mostly, probably.
"Natsu, are you looking for me?"
A crisp, dignified female voice spoke beside him without warning.
"WAH!" Natsu jumped backward like he'd been struck by lightning.
He stared at Erza, who had somehow appeared at his side, and his tongue immediately tied itself into knots. "Y-You you you—why are you here?!"
Erza was wearing a simple blue belted dress today, her crimson hair tied back neatly.
She tilted her head, genuinely puzzled. "This is the guild. Isn't it normal for me to be here?"
As she spoke, she casually set a paper bag down on the table in front of Shane.
"Breakfast. I brought it for you."
Natsu was sweating bullets now, waving his hands frantically. "N-No problem! Everything's fine! Totally fine!"
Seeing Natsu like this, Shane suddenly got a mischievous idea.
He sat up and nudged Erza with his elbow, grinning like a villain. "Natsu, didn't you want to duel me? Sure. But you've gotta beat Erza first."
"W-What?!" Natsu exploded. "Why do I have to fight Erza before I can fight you?!"
"Hm? You didn't know?" Erza looked at him like the answer was obvious. "Shane is much stronger than I am. If you can't beat me, how are you going to challenge him?"
"Hah?! No way!"
Natsu's eyes went wide, and he whipped his head toward Shane—who had already reverted into "collapsed sludge mode," chin on the table.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't imagine the "monster woman" Erza—who'd crushed him and Gray with one hand—admitting she couldn't beat this lazy-looking guy.
"It's true," Cana chimed in, nodding with a grin. "I can vouch for that."
"I don't believe it!" Natsu shook his head violently.
Then he spun back to Shane and shouted, "Hiding behind Erza is pathetic! Come duel me! Duel me duel me duel me!"
"Too loud…" Shane covered his ears. Natsu's volume was drilling straight into his skull.
He snapped upright, ready to end this the same way he used to "handle" Gray—quick and painless.
Besides, he also wanted to ask about Igneel.
"Fine. I'll play with you." Shane sighed. "But if you lose, you have to answer a few questions for me."
"Ask whatever you want! I'm not gonna lose anyway!" Natsu agreed instantly—his mind already sprinting ahead to the fight.
Seeing how casually Natsu agreed, Shane added, "And no getting impatient."
"Yeah yeah, I got it!" Natsu pouted, already shifting into battle mode.
This wasn't going to be like Natsu and Gray's usual fistfight brawls.
And Shane wasn't interested in sending Makarov's blood pressure into orbit with repair costs.
So Shane led the hyped-up Natsu—plus the curious Erza and Cana—out to their familiar clearing in the eastern forest.
Morning mist still hung between the trees. Sunlight filtered through the branches in hazy shafts.
Birdsong rang out, making the quiet feel even deeper.
Shane found himself thinking—after being tossed around by Gray, Natsu, and the other headaches, he'd somehow started caring more about guild property.
The feeling was… complicated.
Natsu had no such thoughts. The moment he stepped into the clearing, he dropped into stance, both fists igniting with orange-red flames.
"Come on, Shane!"
Shane didn't waste words. Perfect timing—he wanted to field-test the Lancer class card he'd only just obtained.
With a thought, a pair of strange short spears—glowing faintly in watery blue—appeared in his hands.
Cana lifted a brow. "Those are…?"
Erza narrowed her eyes slightly, curiosity flickering. "Shane's new magic?"
~~~
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