Mom POV
I continued to stare at the front door even after my children had left. My legs grew weak, and the cold bit against my skin, but I never budged.
Sh-she's going to come back… right?
I waited and waited for any signs that my daughter would come back, that she would be enlightened at the very last moment. But no matter how much I prayed, the doorknob never budged. The house suddenly felt cavernous, the silence heavy enough to crush my lungs.
In the depths of the silence that hung in the room, a maniacal, distorted laughter rang out.
"Hehe… HeheHahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA."
It took me a while to realize that the laughter was… mine. I laughed so hard that tears began to streak down my face. I clutched my stomach as the laughter drained the oxygen out of my lungs, making me lightheaded.
Eventually, my own voice became muted—while the sound of my thoughts grew crystal clear.
Why… why is this happening?
All I wanted was what's best for my daughter!
Is she going to abandon me, too?!
After all the time I've spent on her!!!
A sudden weight caught in my throat, ripping me out of my thoughts. My laughter vanished, replaced by the sound of dull gags and coughs choking the air. I clutched my neck, trying my hardest to push out this sense of pressure.
"ACK! KAK! HAH—HAH!"
My vision began to blur, and my brain felt like it was being stabbed by knives.
Me-medicine! I need the medicine!
I began walking toward the counter where all my prescriptions lay. My legs trembled, making it nearly impossible to maintain my balance. Back then, I would collapse onto the floor without any support. But now—I don't need anyone.
I eventually made it to the counter. Without even needing to read the labels, I immediately grabbed the one that I knew I needed and swallowed it dry.
It was only then that I allowed myself to fall onto the floor. My legs shook uncontrollably, and pins and needles pricked my entire body. I just sat there patiently as I waited for the medication to take hold.
After what felt like an eternity, the pain subsided, and I could finally breathe once more. One would usually feel relieved; my husband and kids usually feel relieved. But I… felt nothing, not anymore.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of the doorbell accompanied by three loud, aggressive knocks. Despite how much I hoped, I knew it couldn't have been my kids. But who would show up at this hour?
I shook my head. It doesn't matter. It would give me a bad image if I made whoever it is wait for too long.
I pushed myself off the floor and made my way to the front door—but before I opened it, I put on an angelic smile, fixed my hair, and unwrinkled my clothes.
I cleared my throat a few times until I found the perfect tone.
With all the preparations done, I opened the door.
"Hello, and what might you be do–"
"YO! It's been a while, Auntie Nana!"
My eyes widened, but I quickly adjusted. I continued with the same even, graceful tone I always had with her.
"Hi~ it's been a while, Julie."
Without sparing another second, Julie brushed past me and barged inside the house, kicking her shoes off in the process. I've given up on telling Julie to act more ladylike; this is just the way she is. She isn't my child, so I don't worry too much about it.
"So, what brings you here today, Julie? Don't you have work?" I asked as I closed the door.
"Nah, I have work a little later today since it's Saturday. And what else would I be here for? I know you have some leftovers from yesterday, so give me some, please!"
Julie clapped both her hands together loudly and gave me a slight bow. I couldn't help but giggle.
"Fufu, I've told you many times, Julie, you don't have to be so formal. As long as you ask, I'll always help you."
Julie stopped bowing and thumped me on the shoulder. "Well, then don't mind if I do!"
She dashed into the living room and began to rummage through the fridge. I sighed and shook my head as I followed. This girl… where are your manners? Yet, my shoulders relaxed ever so slightly.
I gently pushed her aside and grabbed the ingredients for a meal.
Julie tilted her head quizzically. "Uhhh, I thought you had leftovers? Aren't you just gonna microwave them? Why are you holding a raw piece of chicken breast in your hands?"
I took a cutting tray out from the cabinet and set all the ingredients on top of it. "No, I didn't make dinner yesterday, so I'm preparing your own meal from scratch," I said as I grabbed a knife from the knife block.
Julie brought her hands to her chest, her eyes wide with reverence. It made me pleased, but right now it only serves as a distraction. "Don't. Just sit down at the table and wait for me to finish," I said as I cut into the chicken.
A loud, sharp *thuck* cut through the room as the knife struck the board. Julie's posture straightened instantly. "Yes, ma'am, sorry for disturbing you."
She gave me a quick salute and scurried over to the table. As she did, she passed by the bottles of medicine on the counter. She stopped, her eyes lingering on them longer than they should have. I didn't stop the rhythm of my knife.
"Hey… earlier, you said you didn't cook dinner. Is it because you didn't want to or couldn't?"
She kept her gaze fixed on the medication as she addressed me.
"It's just the usual. Yesterday I had a terrible headache, so I couldn't do anything," I replied casually, the knife rhythmically chopping the onions.
There wasn't anything for me to hide. Julie, along with some of my close relatives, already knows about my condition to this extent.
"Is that so? So… what did the kids eat yesterday?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "They probably bought food. They are old enough to take care of themselves now."
Julie finally broke eye contact with the medicine and took a seat at the dinner table. "Oh yeah, speaking about the kids, I drove past them today when I was driving here," she mentioned offhandedly. "Lily was clinging onto her Brother so cheerfully, it was so cute!"
Julie paused.
"It was almost like… they were kids again."
For a split second, my hand froze. The chopping stopped, leaving a sudden, jagged hole in the room's atmosphere. The ghost of Lily's 'I don't care' echoed in my mind.
I turned my gaze toward Julie from the corner of my eye. She still had her back turned against me, but it felt like she was able to 'see' me regardless.
I let out a deep sigh. "Yeah, they have been getting a lot closer lately. It's strange; for the past year or two, they've been avoiding each other. But now, it's changed."
I gathered all the chopped ingredients and put them into the same pan I used for my husband's breakfast. It let out a loud, steamy sizzle—but my words came out as calm as ever.
"As a Mom, it makes me happy that they are getting along again. Nothing hurts more than watching the two of them fight—or worse, hate each other."
Julie let out a loud, obnoxious laugh. "Hah! I can't imagine. This is why I'm never going to have kids!" she exclaimed, resting her chin on her hands.
I giggled loud enough for her to hear. "You say that now. I used to say that when I was your age, too. But… there is no feeling in the world that compares to the love you have for your kids."
I grabbed multiple spoonfulls of rice and began mixing together all the ingredients. The balance was perfect, just like always. I let out a small contented smile.
"It's hard, but it's worth it. I hope that one day… You can feel what I feel."
By this point, the steam became so overbearing that I had to turn on the fan. The fan blared loudly, drowning out the world. Julie didn't say anything else.
I watched as the steam rose from the pan and caressed my face. What should have left a sting of heat, left… nothing.