New Zealand.
The movement shifted into something new, then into a whole cascade. Battle cries echoed again and again as the husband and wife slapped their knees and waved their arms in desperation.
The Brother-in-law leaned in close and whispered into his relative's ear:
"Hey, maybe I should check where the nearest shop is that does Maori-style tattoos. Or maybe it's better not to get one at all? Or maybe we just shouldn't do anything, and I'll just stand right here… being sad and silent."
"Shut up!" hissed the Client, pale with terror. "Let me listen. Through this song they're trying to tell us something. Memorize the words fast and run them through a translator so we can understand. Maybe it's a spell for finding oil fields."
The Brother-in-law sat down on the same bench as Ivan, scrolling quickly on his phone. Glancing at the guides' assistant, he asked for a bun to snack on. The guy, already skilled at repurposing the ketchup that had been dumped on him earlier, had whipped up a surprisingly decent burger.
"How long do you think they'll keep this up?" the Brother-in-law asked Ivan nervously. "I don't like it when they wander into the red-flag zone for sensitive readers — the kind where the offended audience doesn't just get offended, they sharpen their blades to give us all a rash across the body. And I'm terrified of that. So please, make them stop. I beg you!"
Ivan finished chewing the biggest bite, stood up, and clapped his hands together instead of answering.
And miracle of miracles — it actually worked! The haka stopped. The guides clutched their chests and panted after the heavy workout. Mike even lit up a little pipe and muttered approvingly:
"Mouthpiece! Man, I love that word."
Catching a quick look at Ivan, he saw the guy tapping his own head, and instantly understood what he meant.
"Hey, moneybag, you ready to keep listening?"
"If you hadn't mentioned I've got a lot of money, I'd be offended. But since you did, I'll forgive you again." The Client gave a gracious smile and turned to Inna. "Alright, let's keep this tour into the wilderness of the world going. Did you translate anything?"
That last part was for the Brother-in-law, who just giggled nervously and showed he hadn't managed to do it, earning a disappointed sigh from his relative. Meanwhile, Mike was already loading up his next round of "facts":
"Okay, I won't drag this out, especially after our assistant hinted about my balding head. Damn him and his hints! So, moving on—"