I just stare at Ruby, not even blinking. There's no way I heard her right.
"Come again?" I ask quietly.
"You saw their bikes, right?"
I nod, numb.
"They're in a motorcycle club."
"Club? Or… gang?" I ask.
Ruby shrugs. "I don't know if there's much of a difference."
"Do they, uh…" I bite my lip, then laugh at myself. Seriously, what are the odds that the Grim Reapers would also be tied to some mafia nonsense? I need to get a grip.
"Do they what?" Ruby asks. For once, she seems completely unaware of the storm going on inside me.
"I was wondering what it feels like to ride on one," I say, even though I already know. I've been on Ericca's bike plenty, and I used to sit on the back of Billy's. Honestly, it's not a stretch to say I liked his bike more than I ever liked him.
"I doubt any of them would let you near their bikes, but maybe Robb would let you ride behind him. Or ride his front." Ruby wiggles her eyebrows dramatically.
I shake my head fast. "No. That's not happening."
"Why not? From far away, it looked like you two were arguing, but up close, I couldn't tell. I thought maybe you were flirting instead of fighting."
"It was… complicated," I mumble.
"You didn't already know him, did you?"
I hesitate. I was so sure I recognized him from the cruise, but now? Knowing he's part of a motorcycle club shifts how I see him. Maybe more than it should.
My history with motorcycle clubs is a disaster zone. I don't want anything to do with them ever again. Best to keep distance.
Let it all go. Let him go.
Whatever that cruise thing was, it's done. Whatever spark existed—that's gone too.
I cannot handle any chaos in my life right now. Not one bit.
I just want to breathe. I want to be excited about my future again.
"Can anyone really know anyone?" I finally reply, which is basically a non-answer, but it's all I've got.
"Fair enough," she says with a laugh. "No one really knows Robb. Or Zac. Gabe is easier—he talks nonstop. He could talk himself out of a murder sentence."
My eyes widen. There had been gunfire, deaths, and everything else between the Thunder Crows and the Savage Reapers. That's behind me now—but hearing the words motorcycle club here makes my skin crawl.
Sure, Robb looked insanely sexy on his bike, but no thanks. I'm avoiding drama wherever it tries to sneak in.
I grab my phone. "I should get going. I have a class."
"I'll walk you."
We talk about anything but boys—thankfully—and I keep trying to stay focused on what matters.
Being happy.
Later, all my classes are done, and I'm back in the room. Lauren's not around, and somehow my stuff is all messed up. I don't know if she touched anything, but I'm not confronting her unless it happens again.
I'm not a pushover. I won't be stepped on.
Nothing's missing, but that doesn't make it okay.
My phone rings, and I tense up—until I see it's Ruby and not my mom. I want to call my mom, I do… sometime tonight. Maybe. Europe's time difference makes everything tricky.
"Hey, Ruby."
"Well, you did it," she says cheerfully. "You survived day one. Want to go off campus to eat?"
"Is the food here that terrible?"
"No. It's pretty good actually. I'm just feeling restless."
"Already?"
"Yeah. This is my third roommate in three years, and… yeah. It'll just be you and me, okay? Sound good?"
"I'm up for it."
"You want to drive, or should I?"
"You know the area better than me."
"True. You like Mexican?"
"Who doesn't?"
"Perfect. I know the best place. Meet me outside your dorm in five."
Not even five minutes later, Ruby pulls up. I figured her car would be nice—her dad being a professor and all—and I wasn't wrong. I don't know cars well, but when she stops in front of me, I realize it's a Lexus of some sort.
Ruby glances at me once I'm inside. "Buckle up."
Bit surprised that she insists, I go ahead and fasten my seat belt. It only takes about two point four seconds for me to understand why she wanted me to tighten it, and I actually wish it were even tighter because Ruby drives with a seriously heavy foot. I mean serious.
We reach the restaurant in ten minutes, yet I have a feeling it would have taken me twice as long if I had been the one driving. It is wild. I am not even a slow driver, but I guess Ruby likes getting everywhere at top speed. It feels ridiculous, but I am not about to complain.
We head inside. The place is already packed, but I do not mind. If anything, I take it as a good sign when a restaurant is full of people who are willing to wait forever just to get seated.
Even with the crowd in the waiting area, we get called back in about twenty minutes, maybe less. We get seated before several groups who were already waiting when we arrived. Ruby clearly knows someone here.
They lead us to a small table in the middle of the dining room. Ruby orders a strawberry margarita and gives me a look while nodding. No one asks her for ID, but she is older than I am, so maybe she really is twenty-one, or maybe she just has the kind of face no one questions. I cannot risk it. On campus might be different, but here?
"I'll just take a Cherry Coke," I tell the waitress.
Ruby snickers once the waitress leaves. "Here I was thinking you wanted to live large."
"I am not trying to cause trouble."
"Causing trouble matters," Ruby says. "You should never shrink yourself. Just be who you are."
"Maybe who I am does not like tequila."
She raises her eyebrows. "So what do you like?"
"Rum."
"They make daiquiris here."
"Good to know."
She laughs. "As long as you are here with me, they will not card you."
"That is useful information. A warning ahead of time would have been nice."
"You could always ask them to add some rum to your Coke," she says.
"Fair enough. Now tell me what you recommend for food."
"Oh, everything I have tried here is amazing. And the best part?"
"What?"
"It will not make you gassy."
I put my hand over my face. "Seriously?"
"What? We are celebrating. And then I thought I would celebrate more by calling Derrick."
"Derrick? Is he one of your…"
"Yep." A slow smile spreads across her face. "He knows how to use his tongue. At first it freaked me out."
"Why?"
"It is long. Longer than most. But that just means he can do more." She shivers.
"If the sex is that good, why is he just a booty call?"
"That is because we do not… well…"
"You do not want to risk messing up the situation, right? What happened to making waves?"
"When something already works and you do not want to lose it, you keep it how it is. Feelings make everything messy, and I am not interested in that. Trust me."
"You have at least one other guy, right?"
"Jason."
"And what is his specialty? Why is he on your list?"
"He will try anything. If I want to experiment, he does not hesitate. It does not matter if it is a strap-on or a position I saw in a porno or wanting a threesome."
"Oh. Wow."
"I have done both," she says, "with an extra girl and then with an extra guy."
"I can appreciate a beautiful woman," I say, "but girl parts are not really for me. What can I say? I like men."
Ruby laughs. "You are in college. If you want to experiment, this is the time. But if it is not for you, then it is not for you. No pressure. And do not worry, I am not going to try to drag you into bed with us. I already figured you were straight."
I stay quiet.
"It helps to understand yourself and accept it," she says with a small shrug. "A lot of people either cannot or refuse to. Pretending to be someone else just feels pointless to me. Anyway, I'm going to stop talking now." She pauses when the waitress arrives with our drinks. "Thank you," she adds before giving me another pointed look.
I shake my head lightly and repeat, "Thank you."
Once we put in our order—a spread of tacos, enchiladas, and burritos so we can share everything and actually enjoy celebrating—I hear a sudden stir nearby. I glance over without moving my head too much and see four insanely attractive guys taking a table.
And yes. It is them.
The Grim Reapers.
My heart jumps right into my throat, and I turn away fast, refusing to risk even one second of eye contact with Robb. I do not need that kind of problem right now. Not again.