Yes… After a month-long journey, having turned into a caveman, we shot out of the wormhole like a fast fart and flung ourselves into the star system we were trying to reach. Drunk on disinfectant, I had to clench my stomach until it cramped so I wouldn't vomit from the momentary jolt of our sudden exit from the wormhole.
Finally, the ship's metal windows slid open, and after a long time, we could see the outside. And what did we see? Exactly what you'd expect to see in a star system where the sun is dying. A small sun that shimmered with a pale white light like the moon from a distance… Pitch-black gas clouds shooting lightning… Small stars glimmering on the other side of the endless darkness…
"According to my cloud movement calculations…" Jose said, gliding his hand over the buttons on the cockpit. He was gliding his hand because he didn't need to press the buttons. After all, Jose always guided the spaceship with the cable on his back. Jose seemed to be exaggerating this mimicry quite a bit. He was really getting into the role. "…it would be correct for us to enter between these two clouds."
Our ship, Shahin, entered between the clouds, and I held my breath. Because it was obvious that if there was a path in the pitch-black clouds, it couldn't be seen with the naked eye. We traveled quite a distance through the dark clouds, with electricity striking all around us. Some of the lightning even hit our ship, but Shahin wasn't a ship that would abandon us halfway. After a few hours of dark, turbulent travel, we could finally see something.
What did it look like, you ask? It really did look like a metal fisherman's shack. It had a metal platform. In front of the metal shack was a neon sign with symbols in a language I didn't know. There was a metal garage door on one side of the shack. The windows were pitch black, and there was a small metal shutter between the two windows. Jose steered the spaceship next to the metal platform that looked like a port, opened the spaceship's door, and got out. Of course, at that moment, I had already put on my ultra-luxurious space suit and my helmet. I remembered at that moment that my helmet had software that tried to analyze everything.
When I looked at Jose from behind, it said "Cleaning Robot" on his back. When I looked at the neon sign, the helmet tried to translate it and then showed an Error. As I got out of the ship, Jose went and hammered on the metal shutter.
The metal shutter opened with great fury. With the opening of the shutter, a stupid face emerged, with a long nose like an elephant, mustard colored, bald head, prominent ears, and sparse teeth, round like a soccer ball. The stupid face said something. Jose, of course, didn't understand. At that moment, the creature gave Jose a chip. Jose first attached the chip to himself. Then he came and attached it to a device on the back of my helmet.
"This is a language translation chip… As long as you have your helmet on, you'll be able to understand everything that is said. It will also allow us to connect to their signal receptors and speak," Jose said.
"Yes…" the trunked creature said. When he spoke, he had a high-pitched and muffled voice like a pig. As if he was hiccupping, he would jerk at the end of every sentence. With every jerk, his prominent ears and trunk would tremble. "…a language chip. You must be an SWR citizen."
"How did you know?" I asked.
"From your accent…"
"Holy sh*t," I said. "Look at that chip. It even adds an accent when it translates us, huh?" But as I was saying these sentences, I noticed something. My head was feeling good from drinking the disinfectant. I could barely stand.
"Nice technology… By the way, my name is Hun."
"I'm Jose…" he said and extended his hand. Hun, extending his trunk, was in a state of shock.
"This is the first time I've seen a robot extend its hand, and I'm shaking it."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
At that moment, I was about to walk to shake his trunk too, but my foot caught on empty space, and I swayed a little. I said it caught on empty space because there was really nothing for my foot to catch on.
"Don't you come any closer, human…" Hun said. "…stay over there."
"Hey…" I said with a momentary burst of anger. "…that tone sounds racist."
Hun didn't even care. Jose took a needle from his hand and extended it toward the creature's trunk. The creature put on a pair of glasses with its trunk and started examining the needle and the liquid inside under the shutter.
He mumbled for a while. Then: "It's good stuff… This is the first time someone has come to sell us a tissue sample instead of taking one from us. Isn't that very interesting, brother?" he said, calling inside.
"Yes… Yes…" a voice similar to a gorilla's said from inside, and the metal shack shook a little.
"What do you want for this?" Hun asked.
"Permission to enter," Jose said.
Hun took his glasses off with his trunk and gave the needle back. "To Beyond-Planet? I can't give that permission. I'm just a smuggler…"
"We want you to smuggle us in anyway," Jose said.
"Why would you want to come inside? Are you wanted? Look at the question I asked. Who would want to go to Beyond-Planet except those who want to hide? Stupid me…" he said and hit his head with his trunk. "Or did you gain free will and your master came after you? Is that why you want to hide?"
"Let's put personal matters aside. We want you to let us in."
"I may need to see the body."
Jose drove his wheel inside. As Jose carried the body, the scattered pieces of blood spread around and mixed with the void since there was no atmosphere or pressure.
Jose shouldered the corpse and threw it over the shutter. So that the scattered blood wouldn't go to waste, Hun collected the clusters of blood with his trunk and wiped them on a napkin. The fact that he didn't use his hands and that his trunk could really extend for meters made this creature very interesting.
"Alright. It's good stuff, as I said… I'll let you inside. Not to the capital, but we'll find a suitable city. A city where you can hide."
"Thank you."
"But the human can't come in."
"What?" I shouted involuntarily.
"There's a chance that human is from Unify."
"Mun hates Unify!" a gorilla voice shouted from inside, and the metal shack shook once more.
"We are Bioethics Oversight Inspectors," I said, as if it would make a difference. But I should have thought that this could backfire even more. Because an ethics inspector coming to a place where biological remains are sold meant big trouble. These words made the creature named Hun take a laser gun with his trunk and point it at me. The red light from the laser gun was aimed right at the center of my helmet. My helmet was giving a danger warning at that moment.
"Inspector?" Hun shouted. "An SWR Inspector is a human?"
"No, I was just kidding!" I blurted out.
"We are not from Unify. We just want to get inside," Jose added.
"If you want to get inside, the offer has changed. If you're coming in, you'll hand over the human too!"
"Oh, go f*ck yourself!" I shouted.
"That's not possible," Jose said.
"How is that not possible? Human servants are not very useful. You can find better servants inside."
"Wait a minute, I'm not his servant!"
"Hand over the human and I'll take you to the city you want," Hun said. Then he looked me over for a while. "This human looks very high-quality."
"Because I am 100% human!" I said and burped. Like I said, I was under the influence of alcohol. But even if I hadn't been under the influence of alcohol, I probably would have acted just as stupid.
"Hand over the human, and in return, I'll give you a Tükürük (Spit)."
"A Tükürük?" Jose said. "What's that?"
"A Tükürük is a healing mutant. It wraps around your neck like a snake. It can heal all wounds with its spit."
"I'm a robot… I don't think it would be useful to me. What else do you have?"
"Hey, wait a minute!" I shouted. "Are you really making a trade, Jose?"
"You seem to be a tough nut to crack…" he said, turning to Jose. "...you know how to trade." He grumbled a little. "How about I give you an Ağlak (Weeper)?"
"Look at the names, each one is simpler than the last…" I muttered, stomping my feet on the floor. If I didn't have the vacuums on my shoes, I would have probably been sent flying into space, torn apart in the clouds.
"What's that? An Ağlak?" Jose asked.
"Ağlaks are sun-fed, extremely powerful aliens. They look similar to humans. The only difference is that they are very strong. You can use them as laborers."
"Now this could be useful?"
"What? Jose, are you crazy?" I said angrily.
"Do you have a sample?" Jose added.
"Mun!" Hun shouted. At that moment, the metal doors of the shack opened and a gorilla-like creature with a human head, two meters tall, came out. This gorilla had a glass astronaut helmet on its head, and every time the creature breathed, the glass would fog up.
In this gorilla's arms was a creature that really looked like a human but was extremely pale and just skin and bones. This creature was chained to the wrist of the gorilla-like creature named Mun.
"He hasn't been fed sun energy in a long time. These chains also keep him in a constant state of sleep." He showed me the chains that glowed with a deep blue light. "Don't worry, charge it for two days and it'll be spry on the third."
"That's good but…"
"But nothing!" I shouted and ran toward Jose and slapped his metal head. "What do you think you're doing?" Jose shouted back at me and pushed me back. His metal hands were hard, but my astronaut suit could definitely protect me from the blows.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm making a trade!"
"Are you aware that you are using me as a bargaining chip?"
"You idiot!" At that moment, the elephant and gorilla aliens who saw us fighting were watching us in astonishment.
"I'm not an idiot!"
"If you hadn't said we were inspectors, we wouldn't be going through all this trouble!"
"So I'm the one who's guilty, is that it?"
At that moment, Hun, pointing his laser gun at us:
"Gentlemen!" he said, but Jose and I looked at him at the same time and shouted:
"Shut your mouth!"
"Of course you're guilty!" Jose shouted. "If you hadn't said we were inspectors, Hulk's body would have been enough and we would have f*cked off! You never say you're an inspector at a normal time! But you choose the worst possible time to say it!"
"It was pretty obvious from your suit anyway," Hun said. "I was going to ask, but he spoke first…" But neither of us cared what Hun said. Hun and Mun looked at each other. Mun, not understanding what was happening, shook his head. Then he started scratching his belly with the Ağlak in his hand. The Ağlak had woken up and started to weep slightly. Of course, we could tell it was crying from its movements. Otherwise, we couldn't hear any sound.
"Are you trying to sell me just for this reason?"
"That's how stupid you are!"
"What happened now?"
"If I didn't like anything the guy had, he would start to get bored and let his guard down. The moment he was careless and lowered his weapon, I would shoot him in the head with my laser and kill him!"
"That was your plan?"
"Yes!"
"So your goal was to kill them and get inside?"
"Yes!"
"While their attention was diverted?"
"While their attention was diverted!"
"So what are you waiting for, Jose?"
Jose suddenly took out the laser gun from his finger and shot a huge hole in Hun's forehead. Mun fired randomly before he died from the laser shot, and it passed over my head and hit our spaceship. Our spaceship was resistant to laser bullets because it had an energy shield. The problem was that energy shields would reflect lasers back with the same force if they were fired from too close. If I hadn't ducked for a second, my head could have been blown off.
The ricocheting laser beam entered the shack and must have hit something because there was a huge explosion. While screams came from inside the shack, the gorilla named Mun angrily beat his chest and lunged at Jose. Using the human in his hand as a weapon, he swung the human at Jose. No matter how strong the body of that creature called Ağlak was, Jose's right arm was thrown off by the impact. With his arm torn off, Jose put his left hand on his back and took out the cleaning broom. When the cleaning broom opened, it straightened like an iron spear with a broom on its end.
The next blow from the gorilla came. The entire metal shack shook as the gorilla jumped. Jose blocked the incoming Ağlak with his spear, but he was about to be flung into the clouds by the blow when he stopped himself with his jets. He spun the metal stick and plunged it into the gorilla's stomach. The gorilla vomited from the pain of the blow. The problem was that since he vomited into his helmet, he couldn't see anything. That's why he was swinging the human-like creature in his hand like a madman.
I, too, threw myself inside through the window that Hun was looking out of to avoid getting hit. Hun's corpse was under my feet, and I accidentally sat on his face. I never expected Hun's body to be a cockroach. It was so random.
And what did I see inside, you ask? Explosions were happening one after another inside the mansion. Of course, since there was little oxygen inside the shack, the flames stuck to the floor like a stain. But the problem was that the capsules of hundreds of different creatures living inside the shack were slowly cracking. It was not even a stretch to think that the sudden spread of oxygen from those capsules would blow up the entire shack.
I poked my head out and looked at Jose. Jose was dodging the blows like a ballerina. He was constantly spinning the broom in his hand and hitting the gorilla's different body parts when I noticed something. There was definitely a way for me to help Jose, who was fighting with one hand. And that was Hun's laser gun.
I bent down and took the trunk, which had been torn from the creature's exploded head, into my hand. The nerves in the trunk hadn't died yet, so it was still tightly gripping the laser gun.
"You son of a b*tch of a trunk! Let go of that gun!"
Jose lunged forward with his jets. He hit the gorilla in the crotch as he passed between its legs. The gorilla collapsed to the ground. While Jose was hitting the gorilla creature on the back repeatedly, the creature rose in anger and kicked Jose. Jose was dragged to the end of the metal platform of the shack. His jets stopped him at the last second. The place where he stopped was the border between the clouds and the platform.
On one side, I could see Jose. On the other side, the angry gorilla creature. But what made me most nervous were the cracking capsules when I looked behind me. I ripped the trunk off with my hands. The gorilla loosened the chain on the creature attached to its wrist. It couldn't see Jose because of the vomit, but it could more or less guess where he was. It started swinging the creature along with the chain over its head. It was about to swing the chain when the laser gun in my hand suddenly fired.
The laser gun hit the gorilla in the arm. As the gorilla's arm was shattered, the Ağlak was flung into space. At that moment, the Ağlak opened its eyes. The chain was no longer numbing its brain because the connection had been severed.
We could see it happily opening its arms wide as if to say, "I'm free!" But the problem was that the Ağlak entered the clouds and disappeared into space shortly after. We could see it desperately trying to save itself as it entered the clouds filled with lightning.
At that moment, I threw myself out of the shack. As I threw myself out of the shack, I could hear the capsules behind me cracking and falling, the oxygen spreading, and the sound of the shack exploding. While the metal from the exploding shack behind me was flying into space, I was walking toward the gorilla creature with extremely cool, heavy steps. The gorilla creature looked at me, holding its bloody arm, which was full of vomit. All I saw when it looked at me was vomit-green.
I was extremely cool. The light from the flames behind me… I was walking toward the gorilla creature like a pitch-black silhouette. I had a gun that was longer than my legs in my arm. I took two steps and pointed the gun at the gorilla. He opened his hands to beg, but I… I am a ruthless man. Click… I pulled the trigger…
Of course, when I pulled the trigger, the bullet passed through the gorilla's body. So what happens next? Since I fired the laser bullet from up close, the bullet passes through the creature and hits our spaceship's shields. The laser beam that ricochets from the shields passes through my shoulder.
"F*ck my life!"
I look at my shoulder. I can see the burn on my flesh. My helmet warns me that oxygen is dispersing, and I scream. The unbearable pain is enough to make me pass out.
"Sir, are you okay?" Jose shouts. The only thing I see before I pass out is Jose flying toward me with his jets…