Chapter 33: Getting Beaten = Training?
Having successfully sweet-talked Robin, Luo Lin flopped back into his beach chair with zero guilt. He even fished out a pair of sunglasses from who-knows-where and put them on. Still not satisfied, he reached out, scooped Robin into his arms, and finally sighed in bliss.
Perfect~
On the Going Merry's deck, Sanji was pounding the floor in despair.
"Damn it all! Why isn't that me?!"
"Give it a rest already! You've said that a hundred times! Let's get moving!"
That night, the two ships stopped in the middle of the ocean for a party.
"To celebrate Luo Lin officially becoming our nakama—CHEERS!"
Luo Lin downed a glass of juice in one go and immediately started feeding Robin.
Zoro, beer mug in hand, slid over.
"Luo Lin! You've got time now, right? Teach us Haki!"
He could ignore everything else, but getting stronger and famous swords? Irresistible.
Luo Lin: …
Can't you see Robin-baby and I are in the middle of lovey-dovey time?! Kid, you've got no tact. You're dead meat.
"You really are impatient."
"Of course! When it comes to getting stronger, I can't wait a single minute!"
"Tomorrow. Tonight we drink!"
"You're drinking juice…"
"Details! HAHAHA!"
…
Next morning, both ships docked at a pineapple-shaped island full of pineapple-like fruits.
After drawing lots, Chopper was left to guard the ships. Everyone else went ingredient hunting.
Nami didn't even bother making lots for Luo Lin and Robin—they were still asleep.
When Luo Lin finally stepped out, refreshed and stretching, he saw Chopper on the Merry's crow's nest belting out an opera solo.
"Hey! Chopper, what are you doing?!"
"GYAAA!!!"
Scared silly, Chopper fell straight down with a magnificent crash of metal pots.
After explaining the situation, he scurried back inside.
Luo Lin looked left, looked right, grabbed a baseball-bat-sized stick, and leaped ashore.
"Luo Lin, where're you going?"
"To help them train Haki!"
He dashed into the forest, grinning ear to ear.
Robin face-palmed.
You don't look like a teacher—you look like a delinquent about to start trouble!
Luo Lin sneaked through the trees until he found the noisiest spot—Luffy had to be there.
Sure enough: Luffy was up in a tree, mimicking a troop of monkeys perfectly. Full-on monkey conversation. Family reunion vibes.
Luo Lin silently gave him a thumbs-up.
…Respect.
Then, in the creepiest posture imaginable, he crept behind Luffy and—WHACK!—nailed him with the stick.
Luffy was having the time of his life when suddenly the world spun. Next thing he knew, his head was jammed between two rocks.
After much struggling, he yanked himself free and sat on the ground, utterly confused.
"Ow ow ow! What happened?! I was playing with the monkeys, then…"
"Hey, Luffy!"
"Huh? Luo Lin, you're here!"
He looked up to see Luo Lin casually leaning on the stick.
"Did you see me fly just now?"
"Yep. I hit you♪"
"Ohhh, it was you?"
"That's right! This is how we train Haki! From now on I'll randomly ambush you guys until you can dodge!"
"Ohhh! So that's it!"
Luffy poked his temple, face turning red from thinking super hard.
"Ummm—got it! So you're helping me train?!"
Luo Lin: ???
Listen to yourself! After all that brainpower I thought you'd have some deep insight—this is what you got?! This kid's hopeless. Dragon, make another one.
Deep breath.
"…Yes, exactly! Wanna learn?"
"Of course!"
"Ready? Here I come!"
THUD THUD THUD THUD—
Half an hour later, the monkeys had fled in terror.
Luo Lin walked away refreshed.
Luffy lay on the ground, face swollen, missing a tooth, twitching occasionally.
Elsewhere, Nami and Sanji were surveying the island. Sanji's eyes were permanent heart shapes.
Luo Lin crept up behind them and—WHACK!—sent heart-eyed Sanji tumbling down the cliff, startling a flock of birds.
"Whoops, might take him a while to climb back… bad spot. Next ti—duck!"
He barely dodged Nami's fist and turned to see her baring shark teeth, eyes blazing.
"LUO! LIN! We were in the middle of mapping—you just yeeted Sanji off a cliff?!"
"Oh, sorry! Training! I'll be more careful next time. You wait for him. Bye!"
"Don't let me see your face again today, you jerk!"
Seeing Nami about to explode, Luo Lin decided to retreat. Time to visit Zoro—he still owed that moss-head for interrupting his Robin time yesterday.
Poor Zoro was currently buried under a mountain of pineapples, completely unaware of the tragedy about to befall him…
…
Night—beachside campfire.
Everyone sat around the fire. Except Nami and Sanji, every single person who'd entered the forest was covered in bruises—even Usopp.
After today, Usopp and Chopper's fear of Luo Lin had reached new heights.
When the beaten crew returned, Nami nearly had a heart attack—she thought they'd been trampled by gorillas.
Then she remembered Sanji's cliff adventure and instantly knew who the real gorilla was.
"Ahem! Today's training was very productive! From now on, random ambushes at any time—that's how you awaken Haki!"
Luo Lin was immensely satisfied with today's "teaching." Eat, sleep, beat up Luffy—life didn't get better than this!
Of course there were proper ways to teach—like Rayleigh's method: theory first, then basics. That was the correct, efficient way.
(Note: Without Rayleigh's foundation, even Kaido's "few whacks and you're done" wouldn't work. You gotta learn to walk before you fly!)
But Luo Lin didn't want to spend months teaching—he had sweet couple time to enjoy. Daily beatings would force them to figure it out themselves. Slower, but whatever.
(Kaido: I take offense to that statement!)
"What the hell?! Only we're getting beaten! How is this training?!"
"My face still hurts!"
"I've contracted a terminal illness where training Haki equals death!"
Luo Lin shrugged.
"╮( •́ω•̀ )╭ That's just how Haki training is!"
"You're supposed to feel the flow of presence around you and the Haki on my stick the moment I attack. One day you'll dodge! Ask Robin-baby if you don't believe me!"
All eyes turned to Robin, calmly sipping coffee.
She didn't even look up.
"Mmm, slightly different, but yes. You really might—die~♪"
"EEEEEEEK!!! Too scary! I'm just the doctor! Healing is enough! I'm not learning!"
Chopper leaped into the air, tears flying, and clung to Nami's leg.
Nami stayed calmer.
"I'm not learning either! Luffy and the others can do it—they'll protect us! Wait—you said 'slightly different.' How?"
"Well… I never actually got hurt. Every time the attack was about to land, Luo Lin stopped♪"
Everyone: ???
Luo Lin: ???
Robin-baby you traitor!!
"WHAT?! You monster!"
"Wait wait wait! Then what about all that 'almost died countless times' talk?!"
Nami wasn't even mad—she hadn't been hit today—and zeroed in on the key point.
"If it actually hit, wouldn't it hurt so bad you'd wish you were dead?"
Everyone: …
Luo Lin's brain went into overdrive.
He wasn't scared of them ganging up—he'd wipe the floor with all of them.
He just really wanted to keep the daily beatings going. Smacking them with a stick felt way too good!
"Ahem! True, but Robin-baby is a girl—you guys are different! That was when we were kids too! You're grown men—you're not scared of a little pain, right?
And if I hold back like that, the training effect is tiny! It took Robin over ten years to learn! You willing to wait that long? Or… do you want to lose to a girl?"
He frantically winked at Robin.
She didn't expose him this time and nodded cooperatively.
(Actually, like Bellemere, she mastered it in about three years.)
"No way we're losing to a girl!"
"Don't underestimate us, bastard!"
"Bring it! I'm not scared at all!"
The three battle idiots were instantly fired up.
Usopp huddled in the corner, crying quietly: Calm down! You're really gonna get beaten!
Luo Lin turned away: (΄◞ิ﹃◟ิ‵) Three brain cells between them. Think you can win against me?
Only Robin noticed his smug little grin, covered her mouth, and laughed silently.
Her tiny prank quota was filled—revenge for when he forced her to train all those years ago.
Now it was Luo Lin's turn to have fun.
As for the others? Taking one for the team builds character!
Amen.
…
The next few days were peaceful—for Luo Lin.
Beautiful woman in his arms, daily beatings dished out—life was perfect!
He and Robin never left the Devil. The Straw Hats disappeared onto an island through some fog one day and only returned at dusk.
After one night's rest, they set off again.
Now they'd arrived at an island called Lulujia.
Last time they almost crashed the two ships together—Luo Lin barely stopped it by kicking between them.
This time he was prepared.
Whoosh!
He zipped onto the Merry, grabbed Luffy, and planted him right between the ships.
Luffy stared in horror at the oncoming Devil, struggling wildly.
"Gum-Gum Balloon!"
The Devil bounced harmlessly off balloon-Luffy.
"Phew~ Close one! Damn it, Luo Lin, what the hell?!"
Luffy deflated, yelling accusations.
Luo Lin: ( ￢ ก ￢ ) Cough—captains make great bumpers!
Robin burst out laughing—this guy actually thought of that?!
After docking, Luo Lin and Robin went shopping at the market, bought Robin a few cute outfits, restocked food, then returned to the ship.
Luo Lin was sunbathing when he heard the crew noisily returning.
He paid no mind—probably just ready to leave.
Then the Merry started sailing the opposite direction… into a rainbow-colored fog.
The sudden change snapped Luo Lin upright. He jumped to the Merry—Robin was already there.
"Oh my~ Luo Lin finally gets up? Lazy pig who lies down the second he's free!"
Luo Lin froze—wifey roast!
He pretended not to hear.
"Where the heck are we? This place is weird."
Before Robin could answer, an old man spoke.
"Apes Concert!"
"…The hell's an Apes Concert?"
Robin twisted his ear—she knew all his weird slang by now—and explained.
But once Luo Lin heard it wasn't important, he went straight back to sunbathing.
No traumatic flashback = skippable filler.
Yet before he could settle in, Robin dragged him up by the ear again.
"What now, Robin-baby? We'll get out eventually. Lie with me and slack off—it's way better!"
Robin sighed helplessly.
This man was perfect in every way… except when laziness hit, moving a finger felt like torture to him.
"Even if we'll escape, don't just lie there! Help think of a solution!"
"Yes ma'am~ Anything Robin-baby says!"
But no matter what they tried, they just kept circling inside the rainbow fog.
Luffy had already run off somewhere and kidnapped a random kid.
Luo Lin used the chaos to "relocate" a mountain of jewelry to the Devil.
Outside, Nami was about to tie a rope to Chopper and search for Luffy herself.
She eventually found the Merry.
Luo Lin: Told you we'd get out! wink
Robin turned away and ignored him.
After catching up, everyone agreed Luffy would be fine—just leave first.
Blind faith in their captain was Straw Hat tradition.
But right as they prepared to escape, a pirate named Henzo took a kid hostage and demanded Nami hand over the lifeline rope.
Nami refused—some random brat's life meant nothing to her.
Then a little girl named Isoka pressed a dagger to Nami's throat.
"Do what he says! I don't want to lose any more friends!"
Luo Lin: ???
In a blur too fast for human eyes—SLAP!
A massive backhand sent the girl flying.
"Where'd this annoying brat come from?! Hey you—kill the kid and die already! Thanks!"
Luo Lin picked his nose, utterly annoyed.
Everyone froze in shock.
He didn't remember this part of the filler, so in his mind this was clearly the correct way out.
He'd been annoyed by that girl from the start! Why listen to her?!
He only cared about the safety of people close to him—especially Robin.
Random brats who caused trouble should just disappear.
"Luo Lin… that was too much! You hit a kid!"
"Yeah!"
"You looked like a total villain—and you were picking your nose! You're sleeping on the floor tonight!"
Luo Lin: ???
You guys were about to fight too! I just went first! Why am I taking all the blame?! And technically that "little girl" is over 50 years old!
Everything else was fine—but sleeping on the floor because of nose-picking?!
That punishment was brutal!
Robin-baby, you've changed… you weren't like this before!
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