Dark.
Silent.
A dramatic wind that made absolutely no sense indoors.
Harumi opened her eyes slowly.
— …hmm…?
She was… standing.
In the middle of an infinite white space.
No walls. No ceiling. No logic.
She looked around.
"A… tribunal?"
In front of her was a counter.
"Seriously, they scheduled a tribunal at this hour of the night? People have no shame."
Behind the counter…
A man.
Black suit. Hair slicked back. Half-closed eyes. The expression of someone who already hates everyone before their shift even starts.
His name tag read:
MR. I FORGOT MY PASSWORD
Harumi blinked.
She remembered the complete nightmare of trying to access that website. This could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
— …so what's my password?
The man didn't even look up.
He just spoke, his face locked in permanent constipated irritation:
— What's your email?
— What?
— WHAT. IS. YOUR. EMAIL?! Or did you forget that too?
— Oh! No, no, that I know!
She said the email.
He typed it with unnecessary violence. Face tight with:
"Great, another clueless person wasting my time."
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
— I sent you a code.
DING!
Harumi looked at nothing, and magically, a piece of paper appeared in her hand.
— Oh! Got it! The code is… B4DXY!
Silence.
The man froze.
Looked at her.
Narrowed his eyes. Suddenly deeply suspicious.
Pointed dramatically.
— YOU'RE A ROBOT.
— WHAT?!
— EVERYONE, SHE'S A ROBOT!
OUT OF NOWHERE, a red light started flashing.
A siren blared:
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
— NO, NO, NO! I'M NOT A ROBOT! I'M HUMAN! A H-U-M-A-N — Harumi said, already panicking. — I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW!!
— THEN PROVE IT.
— How?!
He slammed the desk.
And OUT OF NOWHERE a screen appeared.
— SHOW ME WHERE THE CROSSWALK IS, YOU IDIOT.
— But why?!
— THEN SHOW ME THE TRAFFIC LIGHT!!! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WORDS?!
Out of thin air, nine little squares appeared floating in front of her.
Random photos.
A street. A car. A piece of a lamppost. A dog staring directly into the camera. A tree.
Harumi broke into a cold sweat.
— OKAY LOOK I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE YELLING AT ME! Calm down, I'll just click here—
She clicked.
The tree.
Dead silence.
The man put his hand over his face.
Breathed deeply.
— …
— …
— NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
He pointed furiously:
— YOU CLICKED THE TREE.
— BUT—
— A TREE IS NOT A TRAFFIC LIGHT, YOU LITTLE ROBOT GREMLIN!
— PLEASE I AM NOT A ROBOT!!
— I'm going to have to call my associate.
— Your associate?? — said Harumi, already nervous and confused.
The ground shook.
Another screen appeared out of nowhere.
Full of crooked scribbles.
Lines. Waves. A smear that might have been letters.
Might not have been.
The man crossed his arms.
— What letters do you see?
Harumi tilted her head.
— …there are literally no letters there.
— YES THERE ARE.
— NO THERE AREN'T.
— THERE ARE.
— THERE AREN'T!
— READ THEM.
— I CAN'T!
He looked at her with a face that was simultaneously mocking, irritated, suspicious, judgmental and exhausted all at once.
— VERY suspicious.
— DUDE LOOK AT ME I AM A HUMAN — Harumi launched in — please, I need to get into this website to see information about the mom of the kids I'm taking care of because listen, there are two kids, who thank God aren't going hungry anymore, but there's all this documentation I need and I have to talk to the kids' mom and I'm trying—
— OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. E-N-O-U-G-H I CANNOT TAKE YOUR ANNOYING VOICE IN MY EAR FOR ONE MORE SECOND!
He raised his hand.
— Enough.
Sighed with the weight of a thousand frustrated IT workers, veins practically pulsating from the stress.
Pointed to another screen.
— Drag this stupid puzzle piece where it goes.
A puzzle appeared.
One piece.
One hole.
Harumi grabbed it.
Hand trembling.
Dragged it.
Let go.
CLICK.
Silence.
…
…
ACCESS GRANTED
Golden light exploded.
Harumi fell to her knees.
— AAAAAAA I'M INNNNN!!!
— Go already — said the man, exhausted by her very existence.
In front of her appeared…
A giant computer.
Screen glowing.
She walked toward it slowly.
Breathing deeply.
— Okay… here we go…
She reached out toward the keyboard.
The screen flickered.
Loading.
Loading…
Loading…
It showed:
"Session expired. Please log in again."
Silence.
Harumi turned around slowly.
— …
The man was already pointing again:
— WHAT'S YOUR EMAIL?
— NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—
Harumi woke up.
Face stuck to the table.
Computer still frozen.
Panda t-shirt.
Lukewarm smoothie.
She lifted her head slowly.
— …I was… humiliated… by a button…
Behind her, Takeru's voice from the living room where he was playing video games:
— You said "I AM NOT A ROBOT" in your sleep.
Silence.
— …pretend you didn't hear that.