Rewind to a moment ago, Madoka Kaname and Mami Tomoe were walking in the Witch's barrier. To avoid disturbing the incompletely hatched Witch, Mami Tomoe did not transform. She merely held Madoka Kaname's hand, carefully avoiding the weak Familiars and moving forward quietly. Mami Tomoe had not noticed that the bandages she had used to bind Homura Akemi had already been untied; her mind was solely focused on rescuing Sayaka Miki quickly.
Madoka Kaname, following behind Mami Tomoe, felt somewhat constrained by the eerie surroundings. Although Mami Tomoe was protecting her in front, she still felt scared when she should be. She kept her hands clasped in front of her chest, cautiously looking around, as if worried that a Witch or a Familiar might suddenly pop out.
To distract herself from her nervous feelings, Madoka Kaname spoke with some unease to Mami Tomoe ahead.
"Um... Senior Mami."
"Nani (What is it)?" Mami Tomoe, who was on alert, responded calmly to Madoka Kaname's question. She was now giving her full attention; if a relatively strong Familiar suddenly appeared, then to protect Madoka Kaname's safety, she would transform into a Magical Girl and fight it.
"Um... about the wish... I thought a lot at home based on my situation. Finally, I feel like I can decide..." Thinking about the problem that had been bothering her these past few days, Madoka Kaname decided to share it with Mami Tomoe, who was a Magical Girl.
After hearing Madoka Kaname's words, Mami Tomoe's heart stirred slightly. But she didn't show it, merely asking calmly and without changing her expression.
"Is that so? So you've already decided?"
"Um... yes... but... I feel my wish... might make Senior Mami angry because my idea is too naive." Thinking of her wish, Madoka Kaname scratched her cheek, saying shyly.
To this, Mami Tomoe, walking ahead, curved a faint smile on her face and turned to look at the somewhat constrained Madoka Kaname, asking softly.
"Then, what is the wish you want to fulfill?" She squeezed Madoka Kaname's hand slightly, hoping to give her a little confidence.
Feeling Mami Tomoe's care, Madoka Kaname felt much less nervous. She took two deep breaths, looked up slightly at the smiling Mami Tomoe, then lowered her head and whispered.
"Since I was young, I haven't been good at any subjects, nor do I have any remarkable talents... I'm not as lively as Sayaka-chan, not as excellent as Hitomi-chan, and not as cute as Yoshino... I have almost nothing... I've always felt that I might become a girl who can't help anyone and only causes trouble for others. I'm just an ordinary student."
(Yes, an ordinary student. Nanoha Takamachi also thought she was an ordinary elementary school student, but she later became the White Devil. Even Sakura Kinomoto, the first Moe Queen, initially thought she was an ordinary student. Is this how every excellent Magical Girl thinks? How lazy.)
"I hate this. I don't want to remain so ordinary. But there's nothing I can do, because no matter how hard I try, I can't change this situation."
"But when I met Senior Mami and saw you fighting to help others, it told me that perhaps I could do the same thing... This made me feel happy and hopeful." Towards the end, Madoka Kaname slowly raised her head, her eyes shining brightly.
Watching Madoka Kaname become more and more agitated, Mami Tomoe could feel her overflowing joy. While she felt some relief in her heart, there was also a hint of reluctance.
Although dreams are beautiful, reality is often very cruel. Mami Tomoe, who had been a Magical Girl for several years, knew that the mission and responsibilities of a Magical Girl were not as wonderful as Madoka Kaname imagined. Coupled with the news 'Good' had revealed to her last night, it made her realize that the world of Magical Girls might be even darker than she had imagined.
Therefore, Mami Tomoe's heart was no longer as eager to have Madoka Kaname become a Magical Girl as it once was; a hesitation had appeared in her heart.
Now, should she continue to let Madoka Kaname delve into the world of Magical Girls? Although she didn't know why Kyubey was so eager for her to become a Magical Girl, there must be a conspiracy behind it, but she didn't know what Kyubey's conspiracy was, so she was worried.
Although Madoka Kaname described herself as very ordinary, through their time together, Mami Tomoe knew that Madoka Kaname was a very naive and kind girl. Was it really a good thing to let her enter such a cruel and dark world?
Mami Tomoe repeatedly questioned herself in her heart. She didn't want Madoka Kaname to lose such innocence and kindness because of her. This would give her a deep sense of guilt, which was something she didn't want.
Just like Yoshino, after experiencing the cruelty of war and the indifference between people, such a kind and innocent child developed two extreme personalities, 'Good' and 'Evil,' to share the sins she endured, preventing her from being swallowed by that sin. She still maintained her kind nature.
While Mami Tomoe was contemplating, Madoka Kaname's narration continued... "So, if I become a Magical Girl, my wish can come true!"
"Even if I am so useless, without any merits, if I can help others, live my own wonderful life, and live a life without regrets, that is my greatest dream!"
"..." Looking at Madoka Kaname, whose face was full of yearning, Mami Tomoe released her small hand and looked directly into Madoka Kaname's eyes.
"If you really decide to do this, it will be very hard, Madoka."
"And you'll get hurt. This isn't a petty squabble between students, and there won't be any time for romance or play."
'That's why I especially cherish the feeling of Yoshino living at home now. This happiness and satisfaction of having a family again is what I cherish most now. In this situation, no matter how hard it is to hunt Witches, every time I come home, someone has already prepared hot meals for me, and when I say 'I'm home,' they will respond with 'Welcome home.''
'With Yoshino by my side, even if I have to constantly fight Witches and Familiars in the future, I will have endless motivation. So Madoka, you actually don't have to force yourself into this seemingly beautiful, but actually incredibly cruel world.'
Mami Tomoe sighed faintly in her heart, but Madoka Kaname felt nothing and continued to speak her thoughts.
"But, even though it's such a tough thing, Senior Mami has always persevered, which I really admire!" Thinking of the people Mami Tomoe had saved who were enchanted by the Witch's Kiss, and her consistent patrolling of Mitakihara every evening after school, Madoka Kaname said with reverence.
Hearing this, Mami Tomoe shook her head, refuting Madoka Kaname's words.
"I am not someone to be admired, Madoka. I am just a coward who hides my inner self, not letting others see my vulnerable side."
"Eh?" Hearing Mami Tomoe's somewhat sad words, Madoka Kaname finally realized that something was off with her.
"I'm just a girl who forces herself to appear elegant and strong. Even if I feel scared and sad, there's no one I can confide in. Every time, I can only stay at home alone, in that empty house, silently shedding tears."
"Every day, I hunt Witches, not just because it's a Magical Girl's duty, but because I'm afraid to return to that empty house. That house, where I'm the only one, is too big. It's so big it's a little scary; sometimes I feel like I'll be swallowed by loneliness."
"This was my daily life after becoming a Magical Girl, and that daily life changed after Yoshino arrived."
"That child possesses a special power, a power no less than a Magical Girl's. She is very kind and has seen many things. She made me feel the long-lost warmth of a home. Although I haven't told her these things, I know she has seen the loneliness in my heart. She just hasn't said it, but has been comforting me with her actions."
'Compared to me, Yoshino, who travels between different worlds, is much stronger.'
"Being a Magical Girl isn't a good job; you need to think carefully before deciding," Mami Tomoe said with a smile to Madoka Kaname.
Unlike in the original story, where she would have been excited to tears upon hearing Madoka Kaname's desire to become a Magical Girl, now there was only a faint calm. If she hadn't met Yoshino, for the lonely Mami Tomoe, Madoka Kaname's current action would surely have been the happiest thing.
It would have made her feel like she had nothing to fear anymore.
But now, she was no longer the Mami Tomoe of the past. No longer alone, while feeling joy, she would also seriously consider things for Madoka Kaname.
Just as 'Good' had told her, the innocent Madoka Kaname might truly not be suited for this cruel world of Magical Girls.
The Magical Girls Madoka Kaname admired were those on TV, full of love and justice, but she knew that the relationships between Magical Girls were not as friendly as imagined. Sometimes, Magical Girls in the same city would fight over grief seeds, and such disputes and snatch were not uncommon.
After all, every Magical Girl needs a grief seed to purify her soul gem. Without a grief seed, the soul gem would be filled with a large amount of impurity, which would affect their magic power needed for combat and their actions. At this point, the ugliness of Magical Girls would be fully revealed.
'Such self-interested Magical Girls are not the Magical Girls Madoka admires.'
"Although your words make me very happy, Madoka, as your senior Magical Girl, I still want to tell you that if your wish is just this, it's better not to become a Magical Girl."
After careful consideration, Mami Tomoe said seriously to Madoka Kaname.
"Eh???" Hearing Mami Tomoe's words, Madoka Kaname's smile froze, turning into a look of bewilderment.
Just then, Yoshino and Homura Akemi arrived and overheard Mami Tomoe's words.
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