Chapter Three
"Why haven't you gone to Snape?" Harry asked warily. They hadn't gotten to that topic before Draco had had to leave the previous day.
"He's a bloody Death Eater, Potter!" Draco exclaimed. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"But hasn't he been helping you all year?" Harry questioned.
Draco snorted. "No. He's been on my bloody back all year. I reckon he was trying to make sure I was getting the job done right," he said bitterly. "I was under strict orders to do it myself. You don't break orders unless you want to be killed."
Harry's eyes widened at what Draco was unintentionally revealing to him and he ducked his head to hide his surprise. Harry felt his heart beating faster in hope. Maybe there was a chance that his suspicions were correct.
"The man killed Dumbledore for you and saved your arse," Harry forced himself to spit out, feeling sick at the memory, but refusing to dwell on it. He needed to gather this information.
Draco exhaled heavily. "I know he saved my arse," he said wearily. "Honestly? He's been a huge support. Unfortunately, it's been support for the Dark side."
His gaze grew distant as he continued. "He was forced into an Unbreakable Vow last summer. My mother went to him, pleading with him to help me. Aunt Bella has never quite trusted him and made him actually take a vow that he would help protect me. I didn't learn about it until after . . . after all that happened. When I was able to go home again, my mother told me about it."
Harry was listening intently and tensed at the mention of Bellatrix. His mind was swirling, trying to figure out what this meant regarding Snape's loyalties. Draco seemed to firmly believe Snape was on the Dark side. Bellatrix doubted that, though.
As Harry listened to Draco describe the terms of the Unbreakable Vow, he realized that Snape was magically bound to kill Dumbledore under those circumstances. Would Dumbledore have known about the vow?
Dumbledore said he had known about Draco's attempts to murder him. The old man had known about the task that Draco had been assigned by Voldemort. How else would he have known unless Snape told him? Dumbledore always seemed to know everything. Well, not everything. He hadn't known about the Vanishing Cabinets.
"Did Snape know what you were doing with the Vanishing Cabinets?" Harry asked suddenly.
Draco blinked in surprise at Harry's outburst, before shaking his head. "I refused to tell him what I was doing. I needed to prove to the Dark Lord that I was worthy."
"So he wouldn't kill you," Harry said absently.
"Yes," Draco admitted, but he frowned at Harry's attitude. "What's with you all of a sudden?"
Harry looked at him and realized Draco was getting suspicious. "I'm just trying to make sense of everything you're telling me."
Draco's features relaxed and Harry breathed an inward sigh of relief. He didn't think it was a smart idea to let Draco in on his suspicions. Because he was coming to believe that Snape really was still on the Light side, despite outward appearances.
Harry was the only one who knew what had happened to Dumbledore that night. He'd known, whether he wanted to admit it or not at the time, that Dumbledore had been dying. As much as it pained him, he was fairly certain the old man would've died, even if Snape hadn't killed him. He was forced to wonder if that was why Dumbledore had said Snape was the only one who could actually help him at that point.
"I know you don't like Snape, and with good reason," Draco said quietly. "But he does have a good side. He may be on the wrong side, but he's been doing his best to take care of me."
"And that means a lot to you," Harry said, but it came out sounding like a question.
"Yes," Draco admitted. "Especially since my father got locked up in Azkaban. My mother could only help me so much. Snape has helped."
Harry winced, waiting for Draco to lay into him regarding his father's imprisonment. They had avoided that little topic so far.
Draco's face twisted into a grimace. "I still don't like it, but I do know he deserved it," he admitted.
Harry looked at him in shock.
Draco didn't look pleased with Harry's reaction and looked away. "I love my father. I'm just not so . . . blind anymore," he said quietly.
Harry knew there wasn't anything he could say, so he showed what respect he could by remaining silent. He'd felt bad when it had been shown to him that his own father was a bully. It didn't stop him from loving the man he didn't even remember. He couldn't imagine how Draco was feeling. He knew his father and loved him, but learned that his father had been doing far worse than bullying schoolmates.
They were quiet for several minutes until Harry spoke up hesitantly. "Do you blame me for all of this?"
"For all of what?" Draco asked warily.
Harry closed his eyes. "For getting your father put in Azkaban. For his imprisonment causing Voldemort to focus on you."
Draco sighed heavily. "I did," he admitted. "Until I started seeing what the Dark Lord was really like and started seeing what kinds of things his followers do to people. I slowly came to realize that it didn't really have anything to do with you. It was the Dark Lord's fault for leading you there in the first place."
"I was trying to protect what family I had," Harry said.
"Like me, you did what you had to do," Draco said softly.
"Yeah," Harry agreed. He was coming to realize that maybe he and Draco weren't quite so different after all. They had both grown up with a bunch of expectations dumped on their shoulders, and both really just wanted to live in peace with their families.
He sighed, realizing he didn't have much of a family anymore. But if he could, maybe he'd be able to help Draco keep his intact.
* * * * *
The next day, Harry was sitting in front of his window again, watching Draco interact with his daughter. Draco didn't seem to know quite what to do with her, but he did seem to enjoy the time spent with her. Harry had no doubts that he loved the little girl.
He was startled when Hedwig suddenly flew past him through the open window.
"Hey, girl," he said softly, taking the letter from her. He gave her some owl treats before sitting back down to read the letter. He ignored Draco's curious, wary gaze.
Harry,
We haven't heard from you for a few days now and we're worried about you. Write back so we know you're safe. I do hope you haven't tried taking off on your own.
You know you can come here to the Burrow at any time. I don't think you have to actually stay there until your birthday. I know you said you wanted this time alone, but I still don't think it's very healthy for you.
The wedding is set for the third of August still. You will be coming here on your birthday, won't you? I suppose we'll need to take you shopping that day. We can't have you attending the wedding wearing your usual scruffy clothes.
I'm afraid I still haven't been able to find any more information. I had hoped to be able to get into Snuffles' house and look through the library there, but we've found out that no one can get into it. I know what you were told, but it seems that maybe others have taken it over after all. I know you don't want to hear that and I'm sorry to be telling you the news in a letter, but I felt it best you should know. I didn't want you to risk trying to go there by yourself.
I'll still keep searching for any information, but there doesn't seem to be much useful so far. Don't lose hope, Harry. We'll find something soon that'll help.
Everyone's thinking about you and asking about you. Ron's worried, not that he'd ever admit that. Ginny's worried as well, but she keeps saying you'll be all right. Remus stopped by here today and he's concerned about you being all alone, too. I do hope you'll reconsider.
Write soon,
Hermione
Harry sighed and closed his eyes. Most of it wasn't really news to him, but it was definitely news to him about Grimmauld Place. He knew it was upsetting him for more reasons that what Hermione would have been expecting, though. He was counting on the old house being a safe place to take Victoria and Draco.
Frowning, he tried to remember what Dumbledore had told him just a couple months before. It was something to the effect that Grimmauld Place would only be accessible to those who would need it most. At the time, he had thought that meant himself along with Ron and Hermione. But if they hadn't been able to get in . . . and no one else from the Order had been able to . . .
"Malfoy!"
Draco startled. He'd been watching Harry warily, but hadn't expected the sudden outburst. "What?"
"Has there been any mention of Voldemort or his followers taking over property belonging to the Light side?" Harry asked.
Draco frowned. "Potter, the Dark Lord is taking over property left and right."
"I know that," Harry said impatiently. "I mean important property. Like important to the war effort."
Draco shook his head slowly. "I don't think so."
"I can Apparate without the Ministry coming down on me, right?" Harry asked quickly.
He'd given in and shown Draco the message from the Ministry. Draco had been irritated that he'd inadvertently helped Harry again. There'd been some tense moments as they both remembered the Remembrall incident from first year, but Draco knew about Harry being allowed to use magic now. Harry just wasn't entirely sure being allowed to use magic also applied to Apparition since you were supposed to get a special license for that. But he was sure that Draco remembered and understood the formal wording better than he did.
"Yes," Draco answered. "Are you planning on going somewhere?"
Harry stilled for a moment. Hermione had just finished warning him not to go to Grimmauld Place by himself. He didn't really believe it had been taken over by the Dark side, though, and he had a little more information to go on than she did.
Possibly he'd find one member of the Dark side there, though.
"Can you stay with Victoria for awhile?" Harry asked, in a hurry now that he'd made a decision.
"I can stay for a couple hours, but where are you going?" Draco asked.
"Then I'll be back by then," Harry said decisively.
He ignored Draco's shouts to wait and hurried down the stairs and out of the house. He ran to the alley behind the house where he could Apparate safely and screwed up his courage. He hadn't had much opportunity to practice Apparating for a bit, but he was sure he could do it. He needed to do it.
"Destination, Determination, Deliberation!"
Focusing, Harry closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was in the alley near Grimmauld Place. Grinning at his success, he hurried to the house down the way.
Taking a deep breath, the door opened at his touch and he slipped inside. He shivered in the dark, gloomy silence as he carefully shut the door behind him. Wand tightly in hand, he stood for at least a couple of minutes, listening intently and trying to determine if he was alone or not.
Not hearing anything, he slowly made his way down to the kitchen in the basement. He slipped into the room, almost expecting to be ambushed at any moment. Hermione believed this place to have been taken over. Just because he'd been able to get in, didn't exactly render it safe.
He blinked in the brighter light of the kitchen, allowing his vision to adjust. Glancing quickly around the room, he realized two things. He was alone, and this room definitely didn't look as if anyone had been living there for months. Thick layers of dust coated everything, but in many places it had been disturbed. But even where it had been noticeably disturbed, there was still an extra layer of dust.
Suddenly he remembered Mundungus and the silver he'd obviously stolen from here. It had only been a couple months since Dumbledore had mentioned the wards being changed.
Frowning, he wondered if Kreacher had even been there at all. He had ordered Kreacher to work at Hogwarts, but the damned house elf was known for sneaking around. He didn't want to think of the creepy house elf or Mundungus, and pushed those thoughts aside.
Looking around, nothing seemed to be out of place. Until he noticed the book on the table. The dust-free book. Harry inched forward until he could read the title. Occlumency: Defence of the Mind.
Snatching up the battered book, Harry quickly flipped it over. And there at the bottom—Property of the Half-Blood Prince.
Harry grinned widely. He was right! The greasy, sadistic bastard was on the right side!
He flopped down on one of the dusty chairs, not realizing or caring how filthy he was getting. The brief euphoria he felt faded away as all his doubts and questions flooded his mind again.
Technically he could still be wrong. Snape could be playing some kind of trick or laying down a trap. Even Draco had said repeatedly that Snape was a true Death Eater and only loyal to Voldemort. He'd flat out stated that Snape was Voldemort's most loyal follower and was the evil creature's right hand man.
Harry shuddered as he saw the vision of Snape killing Dumbledore again. The man had looked so full of rage and hatred.
Crossing his arms and dropping his head to the table, Harry could feel the grief and anger trying to rise again. He reminded himself that Dumbledore would not want him to waste time grieving. He'd grieved all he could allow himself while he was still at Hogwarts.
The anger wasn't nearly as easy to force aside, but he pictured Dumbledore in his mind, frowning at him with gentle reproach. He only had his memories of the man to help him now.
And the old man had trusted Snape.
Harry sighed. He didn't know how many times Dumbledore had repeated that to him. More than Harry cared to count. He still didn't like Dumbledore's methods, but he didn't truly believe the old man had ever lied to him. Withheld information, yes, outright lied, no. Which meant Snape could be trusted.
He groaned in frustration. Logic had never been his strong point. This was Hermione's and, ironically, Snape's area of expertise. He could easily remember the logic problem of potions that was Snape's defence against the Philosopher's Stone.
Those thoughts led him back into the memories of all the times Snape had saved Harry in one way or another. Harry still didn't like Snape's methods, though, either.
He couldn't help but wonder for what seemed the thousandth time, why hadn't Snape captured him when he'd been fleeing Hogwarts? Harry had tried, but he knew he'd been extremely ineffective when trying to duel Snape. Forcing himself to go back and think about it, he knew Snape could've easily taken him.
Instead, Snape had left and essentially sent Harry back to Hogwarts to deal with Dumbledore's death. If he really was more loyal to Voldemort, why hadn't he taken Harry?
Harry shook his head, unwittingly coating his hair with dust. He didn't notice, too lost in his thoughts. Lifting his head, he stared at the book.
He knew it was Snape's. The man had obviously set it there recently, considering the lack of dust. Snape would know that there was no one else to teach Harry Occlumency. He also knew Harry hadn't learned it yet.
Sighing, Harry randomly flipped through the pages of the book. Considering he hadn't seen it before, it felt familiar. Just like the potions book, it had notations written throughout all the pages.
Harry had never been able to grasp Occlumency and had given up. Snape had given up on him before he'd even started. Even Dumbledore seemed to have given it up the past year. What made him think he could grasp the concept now?
Frowning, Harry realized he'd never been able to learn potions from Snape, but he'd been learning the subject decently enough from the Half-Blood Prince. He actually liked the Half-Blood Prince and considered him almost a friend.
He'd been shocked and . . . hurt when he realized who it really was. He still had trouble recognizing that the two people were one and the same.
But if he'd been able to learn potions, did that mean he could also learn Occlumency from the Half-Blood Prince?
Harry's frown deepened. He knew what Hermione would say. She'd definitely vote against it. She'd never liked the Half-Blood Prince. She also didn't believe Harry was actually learning anything. Maybe it was a little unorthodox and maybe he hadn't learned it quite as well as his potion-brewing and his grades would indicate, but he hadbeen learning. Far more than he'd ever learned from Snape.
Snape was the Half-Blood Prince, though. Harry groaned in frustration. He was just going in circles again.
He snatched up the book. If Snape was giving him a different method of learning it, then he would take the opportunity. He stuffed the book in the waistband of his jeans and pulled his shirt over the top to hide it.
He had to get back to Privet Drive. Still lost in his thoughts, he made his way back to the alley and, concentrating briefly, he Apparated back. Dazedly, he made his way back up to his room.
"Merlin! Where have you been, Potter?" Draco exclaimed, his nose wrinkled in disgust.
Harry blinked in surprise before looking down at himself, finally noticing that he was filthy. He didn't notice the look of relief that briefly crossed Draco's features.
"Um, I had someplace that I had to check out," Harry mumbled distractedly. If Snape could get into Grimmauld Place, maybe it wouldn't be a safe place to take Draco and his family. But if Snape really was on the right side . . .
"Potter!"
"What?" Harry snapped, lifting his head.
"You have to quit disappearing in your head," Draco snapped. "Do you have the ability to stay focused on anything?"
Harry scowled. "I've got a lot on my mind at the moment."
"Well, it's certainly not on your appearance," Draco retorted. "Even Granger doesn't have any faith in you being able to dress yourself."
"What are you doing reading my mail?" Harry said angrily.
"You left it lying out, so I didn't think you'd mind," Draco drawled, suddenly going casual.
"It was my mail, Malfoy. But I reckon I shouldn't have expected you to respect anyone's privacy," Harry said, still scowling.
"You risked going by yourself to wherever it is that Granger said you shouldn't, didn't you?" Draco asked slowly, studying Harry contemplatively.
Harry sighed heavily. "Er, yeah, I did."
Draco's eyes raked over Harry's dusty body. "And judging by your appearance, it's deserted, but you were able to get in."
Harry's eyes narrowed. "I can't tell you anything about it."
Draco heaved a sigh of frustration. "Potter, I've been passing on a lot of information to you."
"I don't trust you, Malfoy," Harry said coldly. "You keep telling me how I trust too much, but even I have my limits. At the moment there's nothing I can tell you about it, and you're just going to have to deal with it."
Draco eyed him coolly for several long moments. "Fine," he said finally. "I understand."
Harry raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Do you?"
"If I were in your position, I would never have allowed me to even get this close. I certainly wouldn't be revealing information that could be important," Draco admitted slowly. "I don't like it, but yes, I do understand."
Harry stared at him. "I've been meaning to ask you something."
"What?" Draco asked warily.
"I was wondering what the hell you did with Draco bloody Malfoy," Harry said conversationally.
Draco laughed harshly. "I've been wondering that myself," he muttered. He shook his head and glared at Harry. "Go clean up, Potter. I'm not letting you touch Victoria when you're looking like that."
Harry rolled his eyes, but had to agree. He was a filthy mess. He scrounged up some clean clothes and stepped out to shower. He stuffed the book underneath a huge stack of towels, intending to retrieve it after Draco left.
Once he was cleaned up and still dripping water from his wet hair, he made his way back to the bedroom. He still didn't know what he was doing trusting Draco in the Dursley's house. Opening the bedroom door and hearing the giggles coming from the little girl, he had the feeling he was hearing the answer to his question.
"I've got to go," Draco said, looking up as soon as Harry entered the room.
Harry simply nodded. They'd already established the fact that Draco was taking a huge risk coming here at all, and he couldn't take even more of a risk by being gone too long. Harry still hadn't established where Draco was at when he wasn't at the Dursley's house, though. Harry wasn't sure he really wanted the answer to that. It didn't seem as big of a priority at the moment.
"I'll try to come back again in the morning," Draco said, and Harry could hear the question in his tone.
Harry nodded again. "That's fine," he said. "You can come back tomorrow, but you can't come the next two days."
"Why not?" Draco asked, sounding both wary and irritated.
"Because it'll be the weekend," Harry said with a shrug. "I don't know where Dudley's been hiding out these days, but Uncle Vernon at least will be here. There's not a chance in hell he'd stay quiet if he knew you were coming here. With the Silencing Charms up on my room, he hasn't had any cause to complain about Victoria, and I'm not even sure he realizes that she's still here," he said, glancing at the little girl.
It was easy enough to keep a jug of water to make bottles in his room and do any washing while Vernon was at work. Harry always bathed the little girl during the day. He rarely ventured out of his room when his uncle was home and Victoria didn't go out at all.
Draco was staring at Harry, frowning. "I reckon it's good that less people know I'm around here," he said slowly. Harry was sure that Draco wanted to ask him more questions about his uncle, but he refrained.
"I've got to go," Draco repeated. He paused briefly in the doorway. "I believe she needs changed again," he added, before he was gone.
"Damn you, Malfoy!"
He could hear the laughter in the hallway, but knew it was useless trying to say anything else. Draco wouldn't even hear him now that the door was shut, what with the one way Silencing Charm on the room.
He continued to curse Draco under his breath as he changed Victoria. He still fumbled a little, but was a little amazed at how proficient he was feeling overall. She hadn't been in his care long, but he was beginning to get a handle on this baby care. He still didn't think he was the best one for the job, but wasn't sure what else to do.
Draco didn't want him to take her to the Weasleys or any of his other friends, and Harry didn't directly agree with that, but he had to admit it would bring about a lot of unanswerable questions.
He had no idea what he was doing with Draco himself. There was no way he could adequately explain the situation to his friends. They were already too concerned about his mental health as it was.