Dying wasn't on Long Yue's schedule.
Actually, nothing was on his schedule because he never looked at one.
Which is probably why he died slipping on a wet floor at the grocery store.
Yes.
A grocery store.
He didn't even get a dramatic death. No truck. No lightning bolt.
Just a slippery "Caution: Wet Floor" sign he didn't notice, a wild slide, and a noise like a penguin crashing into a wall.
Darkness swallowed him.
Then—
DING!
[System rebooting… Loading host soul…]
"Huh? Why does everything sound… loud?"
He tried to open his eyes.
White lights blinded him. People were shouting. A woman screamed. A man panicked. Machines beeped.
Wait… what's going on?!
He tried to sit up—
Only for his body to flop weakly like a half-cooked noodle.
"Wah—Wahhhhh!!"
The sound echoed.
He froze.
"…Was that me?"
A doctor lifted him gently.
A woman cried joyfully.
"Look at him! He's healthy!"
A man sniffled, "My son… my little Long Yue…"
"Hold on—what do you mean little? Also why am I being held like a football—WAIT—NO—DON'T—!"
WAAAAHHHH!!
He cried again.
Not emotionally.
Physically.
Because he was literally a newborn.
His brain finally connected the dots.
Small hands.
Weak body.
Loud crying.
People celebrating his birth.
"Oh no… I really got reborn as a baby…?!"
DING!
Another voice echoed in his head:
---
[Welcome, Host!]
You have been successfully reincarnated as: LONG YUE (0 minutes old)
System: Baby Advantage System
Version: 0.1 Beta (very unstable)
Note: You cannot speak, walk, or punch anyone yet. Please be patient.
---
"…WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNSTABLE?! I'M A BABY!"
[Calm down, Host. Your lungs are small.]
"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!"
Instead of words, crying noises burst out:
"WAAAAH! WAHHH!"
The doctor smiled.
"What a strong cry! He's healthy!"
Long Yue internally screamed:
"I'M NOT CRYING! I'M COMMUNICATING!"
His new mother gently held him, warmth spreading through his tiny body.
Her voice softened, "Welcome to the world, Long Yue."
He blinked, suddenly aware of how small and helpless he was.
He tried to raise a hand.
Tiny fingers.
He tried to complain again.
Cuteness.
He tried to move his legs.
Pathetic wiggles.
He was… a potato. A cute potato.
---
DING!
[Newborn starter pack unlocked!]
+10 Cutest Baby Aura
+5 Luck
Skill: "Cry to Obtain Things" (Level 1)
Debuff: "Absolutely No Motor Skills"
---
Long Yue sighed.
Well, he tried to.
It came out as:
"ghu… ahh…"
And his mother gasped.
"He's trying to talk! So gifted!"
Long Yue:
"No, mother, I'm complaining about my suffering—"
But only "goo…waa…" came out.
At that moment, he realized two terrifying truths:
1. He was stuck as a baby.
2. Everyone would misunderstand everything he tries to say for at least two years.
The system added cheerfully:
[Don't worry, Host! As a baby, no one expects you to be useful.]
"…This is going to be the most humiliating second life ever."
---