Elara
A full week has passed, and I am still banned from the choir. This is not how I pictured my final year of high school. Iris tells me that practice is continuing just fine without me. How can that be true when I am their lead soloist?
Anderson is a genuine asshole. My stomach does an unpleasant flip when I think of him. He has been avoiding me completely. He leaves the house before I wake up and only comes back late at night to stand on his balcony. I should have told my father about his smoking, but I did not. He wanted to kiss me again that day in his room. As much as I truly dislike him, I like his mouth. So, I would not have objected to a second kiss.
I make myself walk to the door of my chemistry class. Mr. Andy is at his desk, waiting for the other students. I am much too early. Watching the bald man through the small window in the door, I seriously think about turning around and running out of the school.
Chemistry is impossibly hard. Maybe if Anderson were the teacher, I would be able to understand it. I push the door open before I can lose my nerve. It is my final class of the day; I just have to endure it.
"Elara." Mr. Andy's face brightens the moment I step inside. Why is he smiling? He is the one who told on me. I force a fake smile and walk down the aisle to a seat in the back. He cups a hand around his mouth like he is sharing a secret. "We will be having a surprise test." Wonderful. That is all he ever thinks about. "You did not perform well on the last one."
I do not need the reminder. He already reported me to my dad. I pull my chemistry textbook from my bag. It is not that I do not try. The subject is just too difficult. I cannot sing my way through it like I can with some math formulas.
The door opens again, but I do not look up. I am trying to force as much information into my brain as possible before the test begins. The quiet ends as more students fill the room. Someone drops into the seat next to me. Jade. I smile for real. A friendly face makes it better. It is a pity we are both terrible at chemistry.
"We have a test," I murmur to her.
"Again?" she hisses back.
We watch Mr. Andy walk to the tall bookshelf by his desk. He pulls out a thick textbook, and I know I am completely fucked. If I do not pass this, it is goodbye to the choir forever. He goes to the front of the class and writes: TEST, drawing a circle around it. A low sound of complaint moves through the room.
"What the hell is his problem?" Jade says, quiet enough for only me. I wish I knew. She scoots her desk closer to mine. "I am going to fail."
"So am I."
After making everyone put away their notes, Mr. Andy hands out the test papers. Thirty minutes for five questions. I have no real idea what I am doing as I write on my paper.
I glance at Jade, and she is writing. Everyone is writing. Do they actually know the answers, or are they just guessing? The thirty minutes disappear, and we are told to turn in our work. Judging by the happy looks on everyone's faces, I am the only one who wrote complete nonsense.
The rest of the class is a miserable haze. Jade and I are the last to leave. She is driving me home. I nod along to everything she says as we walk to her car. The only clear thought in my head is what my test score will be. Out of five questions, I was sure about only two.
Jade snaps her fingers in front of my face. We are already in the parking lot. I walk to the passenger side. "Were you even listening to me?"
"Sort of," I say.
My best friend knows I am lying but does not call me out on it. A click sounds, and I open the car door. She does not start the engine once we are inside. She closes her eyes and leans her head back against the seat.
"What are we waiting for?" I ask.
"Your stepbrother."
I rest my elbow on the window frame. Sure, Jade knows I was kicked out of choir, but she also does not remember that Anderson is the guy from that night. He cleaned up very well. "Why?"
"I do not know. Maybe we can find something to use as leverage." I am not so sure about that. So far, he has done nothing wrong. His life is boring: home, school, no detours. He has not made any new friends. She explains her brilliant plan to me. I can only nod, because I do not have a better idea. "But he does look familiar."
That is because she has seen him before. I sit up straighter.
"How was the test?" I ask, to change the subject.
"Fine."
I snap my seatbelt into place, a hint for her to start driving. But she is not looking at me.
"What was your answer for question five?" I ask.
"Forty-five."
Jade's answer feels like a physical blow. I open and close my mouth, unable to speak. My answer was 2.5, and number five was one of the only two questions I even attempted.
It is official. I am never getting back into the choir. I can already picture the red F at the top of my paper. This is all Anderson's fault. We both look toward the school entrance. Why is he taking so long to come out?
The back door opens and Anderson appears. Once again, his tattoo is covered up. Just like mine. Jade taps her fingers on the steering wheel as Anderson walks to his car. If he knows we are watching him, he gives no sign. He stops in front of his car but does not get in. I dig my nails into my knees when he scans the parking lot, as if he can feel us staring.
"I cannot place his face. Can you?" Jade asks.
I shake my head. For some reason I do not understand, I do not want her to know he was the same man from the bar. It is better this way. Jade makes a frustrated noise and goes back to watching him. A few minutes later, Anderson drives out of the school.
We follow his mother's car, keeping a safe distance between us. The wind blows through my hair, sending it across my face. Jade turns on the radio, and I lower the volume. She glares at me, and I glare right back.
"What if he is not doing anything wrong?" I ask.
Her plan is starting to seem stupid. Find out what he does between the end of school and when he comes home. If it is illegal, we will blackmail him. She turns onto a road that leads away from my house at the same time Anderson does. The red hood of his car is visible ahead. Anderson is definitely going somewhere.
Where is he going?
"Then you will just have to seduce him."
"Seduce my stepbrother?" I say, completely stunned. Jade rolls her eyes and makes another turn. Anderson's car is several meters ahead, but she keeps up. "Where are we going?"
"Do you want to get back in the choir or not?"
I cross my ankles. I do. "But…"
"No excuses, Elara. Just be nice to him. Pretend you like him. Do whatever it takes until he gives you what you want."
When I think about it, that does not sound so terrible. I am a likeable person, and so is Anderson, when he is not being a jerk. His lips are also very likeable. In fact, they are the best part of him. And I really do want to kiss him again. I push those foolish thoughts away. Seducing my stepbrother sounds like a terrible idea, but I have always been drawn to terrible ideas.
"What if I fall in love with him?"
In all the romance novels Iris reads, it always begins as a game. Then the girl actually falls for the man. That cannot be us. I only want to kiss him; that is all.
"You will not," Jade states. Her car slows to a stop on a deserted street. I have never been in this part of town before. "This is not a book or a movie."
"You give the worst advice."
"I know," she says, and laughs. "That is why we are best friends. You love bad advice."
I suppose life starts to feel different when someone you love dies. You stop taking everything so seriously. You live a little more recklessly, because in the end, everyone dies.
"Where are we?" Jade asks.
We both look around the empty streets. There is not another car in sight, not even Anderson's. Did he lose us? A thread of fear winds through me. Jade and I look at each other.
We need to get out of here. Now.
In the distance, the headlights of a red car flash on. The lights blink, and the car begins moving toward us, fast and angry. I grab Jade's arm. "Go, go, go. Drive now."