Accompanied by two top-tier masters with completely opposing styles and one instigator who lived for the drama, Kiana's Chronicles of Sword Training officially kicked off in an atmosphere that was equal parts grandiose and completely chaotic!
The grand sense of ceremony was certainly there, but the moment they all met face-to-face, Kiana immediately grabbed Fuli's arm and practically dragged him to a relatively quiet corner on the edge of the training grounds.
"Don't get me wrong! I did say I wanted to learn some swordsmanship to complete my quest!"
The girl puffed out her pink cheeks, lowering her voice with a mix of reproach and sheer panic. "But you didn't have to instantly summon such insanely powerful bigshots to teach me, did you?!"
"Oh my? What's with this reaction?"
Fuli deliberately twisted his facial features into an exaggerated mask of pure shock. He leaned in close, staring directly into her rapidly darting, large blue eyes. "No way, right? Could it be? Does the dictionary of our ultimate, invincible, ultra-mega-cute Lady Kiana Kaslana actually contain the word 'nervous'?"
"I-I'm not nervous!"
Kiana instinctively puffed out her chest in denial, but her momentum instantly deflated.
She embarrassedly scratched the back of her head, her silver-white hair swaying with the movement. "Okay, fine... maybe just a tiny bit... Think about it! You literally invited the Zhuming's Flaming Heart and the Luofu's future Sword Champion! You made this into a massive production! What if, after all this training, I still can't even pull out that stupid broken sword..."
Uwaaa! Just thinking about it makes me want to die of embarrassment!
And that wasn't even the worst part!
Kiana had heard from Bronya that 'A-Ying'—Ei from the Dimensional Boundary Breach Squad—was currently learning something called the Musou Isshin from her teammate, Kaguya.
If, at the end of the day, she—a veteran senior member—couldn't even match the swordsmanship of a brand-new rookie, where would she put her face?! How could she ever show her face on the Hyperion again?!
"Oho? Are you actually getting cold feet?"
Fuli clicked his tongue, immediately switching to the tone of a wise, weary elder giving a heavy-hearted lecture. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Back in the old generation's day, we didn't have the luxurious conditions you have now! Back then, we didn't even have cell nuclei! We had to rely entirely on underwater thermal vents just to get a few pathetic nutrients to survive!"
"True—Wait a second!" Kiana was just about to nod in agreement when she violently snapped back to reality. "Exactly how old do you have to be to cultivate by absorbing geothermal energy?! You'd literally be a single-celled organism!"
"The Supreme Elder Bacteria?"
"Stop recycling your old jokes!"
The big white cat glared at him fiercely, reaching out to ruthlessly pinch the soft flesh of his waist.
"Anyway, give it your all, my lady."
Fuli easily dodged her demonic claws, his tone finally turning serious. "Don't forget. As Uncle Siegfried's only daughter, you're going to have to inherit the Judgment of Shamash sooner or later."
"Judgment... of Shamash?"
Hearing that name, Kiana froze slightly. For some inexplicable reason, a trace of indescribable, primal fear flashed through the depths of her eyes.
She quickly shook her head, forcing a lighthearted tone. "I-I've got the custom-made weapons and gear Mei built for me, and that's more than enough! As for the Judgment of Shamash, that can just—"
"Just?"
"Just be handed over to you to use when my stupid dad retires!"
From the absolute bottom of her heart, the girl despised that greatsword and the apocalyptic destruction it housed. By extension, she also didn't want it falling into the hands of someone she didn't trust.
If it was A-Li, then it was totally fine! He would never use that thing to chop her down anyway!
"Also, aside from that..."
The white furball sneaked another glance at Yunli and Yanqing, who were currently locked in an intense glaring match in the distance. She fidgeted nervously and whispered, "Are those two super strict when they teach? Like, are they the type to constantly smack my palms with a ruler and scream at me for being an idiot?"
Lies don't hurt; the truth is the sharpest blade.
Who asked her to actually be a genuine idiot? She didn't get the nickname 'Paramecium' for nothing.
"Oh, don't worry about that." Fuli looked utterly convinced. "They absolutely will!"
"Huh?!"
Kiana's pupils dilated in absolute terror.
"But they'll only be beating the crap out of each other," the boy seamlessly finished his sentence, a wicked, prank-succeeding grin plastered on his face. "Those two 'siblings' have been at each other's throats for ages."
"Then why did you put them together?!"
You just want to sit back and watch me make a fool of myself, don't you?!
"Precisely because they're constantly competing, they'll go absolutely all out, using every trick in the book to forcefully elevate you, their beloved disciple."
Ignoring her protests, Fuli grabbed Kiana's hand and dragged her forward. "Let's go. Don't keep the two grandmasters waiting."
Returning to the center of the grounds, Yunli, who had been fiercely staring down Yanqing, instantly lit up the moment she saw them approaching. She quickly marched over to greet them.
"Hey! You're finally here!" the girl chirped happily. She pulled an exquisitely wrapped gift box out from behind her back and shoved it into Kiana's arms without any explanation. "Here, take this! It's our Zhuming's reverse-apprenticeship gift!"
"Reverse... apprenticeship gift?"
Kiana blinked blankly as she took the box. She opened it to find a set of masterfully crafted, Eastern-style sword-training clothes made from incredibly premium materials, radiating a faint, extraordinary energy signature.
"Yep!" Yunli tilted her chin up proudly. "Normally, it's the disciple who has to prepare a gift to honor their master."
"But who are we?! Those rotten, outdated feudal customs should have been swept into the garbage bin of history a long time ago!"
As she spoke, Yunli deliberately cast a highly provocative, mocking sidelong glance at Yanqing.
True.
Fuli nodded with a look of profound, solemn agreement.
Ever since he became a disciple, he had been constantly paying tribute. Every other day, he had to 'use his length to make up for his Master's shortcomings.'
If he didn't have a young, incredibly durable body bursting with absurd firepower, coupled with a billion points of pure capability, he would have been completely wrung dry and devoured whole by Master Jingliu long ago. How else could he constantly make her sing those beautiful, heavenly 'Haaah-ooooh' immortal melodies?
"It's merely a reverse-apprenticeship gift. Naturally, I have prepared one as well."
Yanqing's expression didn't change in the slightest. With a flick of his wrist, a sleek, beautifully streamlined longsword materialized in his grasp.
"Give this a try. See if it fits your hand."
"Oh, okay."
Is the internal arms race already starting?
Kiana took the flying sword and casually swung it around a few times. The blade let out a crisp, resonant hum, clearly brimming with spiritual sentience.
Seeing this, Yunli let out a loud, mocking scoff. "A standard-issue flying sword combat drone manufactured on the Taixu Frontline. It's a decent offensive weapon for someone at the C-Class power level, but it doesn't offer any real advantages."
"To think the grand Sword Champion of the Luofu would pull out something so incredibly shabby. Where are all those legendary swords you've been hoarding in your Sword Graveyard?"
"Miss Kiana's current objective is to establish a solid foundation in swordsmanship. Using a weapon that is far too powerful would only distract her, resulting in half the results for twice the effort," Yanqing shot back sharply. "To think you don't even understand such a fundamental principle. I truly have no idea why Uncle Fuli invited you to meddle in this."
"Well, isn't that a coincidence?" Yunli raised her eyebrows in smug triumph. "This Tranquil Dao-Seeking Suit I prepared not only suppresses the wearer's stray thoughts, allowing them to maintain absolute focus and calm, but it also provides a minor boost to memory, comprehension, and perception! It will keep Kiana's mind completely clear and her judgment flawless! And the most important part—its system rating is C-Class! That's an entire major tier higher than a certain someone's mass-produced D-Class garbage!"
"Tch!"
A highly visible, throbbing cross-shaped vein popped on Yanqing's forehead as his rationality rapidly began to slip. "What, you think you're so amazing just because you're a Flaming Heart who can forge high-end gear?"
"You're absolutely right, little bro! A Flaming Heart who can forge high-end gear is amazing."
Yunli planted a hand on her hip, striking an incredibly arrogant pose. "Especially compared to a certain dirt-poor Sword Champion who blows his entire salary buying swords from the Artisanship Commission and constantly has to leech free meals off the Seat of Divine Foresight to survive!"
Yanqing: "You don't know shit! The Luofu's micro-control techniques for flying drones in complex gravitational environments are the best in the universe!"
Yunli: "Bullshit! The Zhuming's manipulation techniques for handheld, ultra-high-density composite materials are the eternal GOAT!"
Yanqing drew his sword with a sharp SHING! "You wanna go?! Yunli! Right now! Right here!"
Yunli violently hoisted her massive greatsword onto her shoulder, completely unintimidated. "I've been waiting for you to ask! You ungrateful little brat who refuses to call me Big Sis!"
Seeing the two of them draw their weapons, looking ready to unleash an apocalyptic battle royale at any second, Kiana panicked and immediately ducked behind Fuli. "Is this really okay?! Are they going to completely destroy this place?!"
The boy stood there, looking as calm as an old monk. "Relax, relax. Didn't I tell you from the start? Precisely because they're constantly competing, they'll go absolutely all out to train you, their disciple."
"Right now, I'm seriously doubting if I can even survive the shockwaves of their clashing sword aura!" Kiana cried, tears welling up in her eyes.
Yunli: "My disciple would dare to eat shit!"
Yanqing: "My disciple would too!"
"Hold on, why did the topic suddenly veer off a cliff into this territory?!" the person in question stared in utter, blank bewilderment. "AND I ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT!!!"
"You can do it, Kiana!" Fuli, still fully embracing his role as the ultimate instigator, cheered from the sidelines. "Everyone's watching! Look lively! Don't embarrass your two incredibly hard-working Masters!"
"WHY ARE YOU SEAMLESSLY JOINING IN ON THIS?!"
...
After a chaotic, highly explosive interlude, Kiana finally changed into the Tranquil Dao-Seeking Suit and returned to the center of the training grounds.
Her silver-white hair bounced playfully on her shoulders, styled into two cute, Shenzhou-style twin buns. A short, red-and-black top perfectly accentuated her youthful, slender figure, and a bright red short cape draped over her shoulders added an air of heroic valor.
The gap between her fitted shorts and white thigh-high socks perfectly showcased an incredibly pleasing absolute territory. She looked exactly like a valiant swordswoman who had just walked out of a classical Eastern painting, yet still overflowed with the bright, vibrant energy of a modern young girl.
"Mhm, mhm. I knew my eye for fashion was flawless."
Yunli rubbed her chin, thoroughly inspecting her newly transformed beloved disciple. Highly satisfied, she took a bite out of a candied hawthorn stick she had pulled out of nowhere.
CLICK!
Before Kiana could even adjust to her new outfit, a blinding camera flash erupted in her face.
"A silver-haired swordswoman aesthetic... it really is incredibly photogenic."
Fuli lowered his camera, nodding in absolute satisfaction. He was already planning to share this "Kiana's First Day of Sword Training Commemorative Photo" to the Hyperion's internal group chat the moment they were done.
"So, should we start?"
Kiana embarrassedly tugged at the hem of her shirt, trying to get into the right headspace.
Then, she heard a sharp SHING! as Fuli unsheathed his gleaming, plasma-edged Shadow Dash.
"?"
"First, we need to let your two Masters get a direct, intuitive understanding of your current swordsmanship level," the boy explained.
"A sparring match? I'm an expert at those!"
Brimming with absolute confidence, Kiana tightly gripped the standard flying sword Yanqing had given her. With a flexible flick of her wrist, she executed a beautiful sword flourish. "Bring it on, A-Li! I won't go easy on you!"
"Don't worry," Fuli smiled, looking incredibly, maliciously wicked. "Neither will I."
"Eh?"
Before his voice even faded, the boy formed a sword seal with his fingers and brushed them over his blade—the absolute signature starting stance of his favorite technique: Setsuna Blade: Bitter Yaksha.
An ideal fluid of absolute sharpness and zero friction wrapped violently around his blade, generating an almost indestructible, overpowering shockwave. Instantly, the girl was sent scrambling, jumping up and down and screaming at the top of her lungs as she was mercilessly chased across the field. Her pained wails echoed for three miles in every direction.
Watching from the sidelines, the corner of Yanqing's eye twitched violently. He couldn't help but mutter a complaint, "Other people slip sleeping pills into a drink. Uncle Fuli, you're slipping industrial-grade laxatives into the drink, aren't you?"
Yunli couldn't help but sigh in awe. "I didn't expect Warden Fuli to be such a military otaku. He really loves the J-10 fighter jet combat style."
Under Fuli's utterly merciless, multi-directional siege, Kiana's resistance melted faster than snow under the blazing sun.
It didn't take long before she was lying face-down in the dirt, completely devoid of any heroic image. She was panting so heavily she barely had the strength to lift her hand. She could only weakly curl a single strand of her white hair upwards, using it as a makeshift French white flag of surrender.
"S-Surrender... I surrender..."
"You're way too weak. It's only been three minutes. My Master and I spar for an entire night without stopping all the time."
Seeing this, Fuli dramatically sighed in disappointment, sheathing his sword. He exchanged a meaningful glance with Yunli and Yanqing.
The two Masters met his gaze and gave a slight nod.
After this brutal combat assessment, they had acquired a very clear, highly accurate understanding of Kiana's current swordsmanship level and her glaring weaknesses.
Fuli walked over, reaching down to pull the completely limp, exhausted big white cat up from the ground.
As he patted the dirt off her clothes, he spoke in a tone of profound, heartbroken tragedy. "Kiana, you have to understand. It wasn't me who ruined you... It was this chaotic, war-torn era that ruined you!"
"...Heh."
Kiana shot him a withering death glare, completely lacking the energy to even formulate a verbal insult.
Stupid A-Li... I'm going to remember this grudge forever!
"Alright, let's get down to business."
Yanqing clapped his hands, drawing everyone's attention. "A towering skyscraper must be built from the ground up. We will start with the most fundamental absolute basic: gripping the sword."
"The foundation of gripping a sword lies in stability and precision," he lectured seriously. "At the absolute minimum, when clashing with an opponent of equal or greater strength, you must be able to hold onto your weapon without your hands trembling or losing your grip."
"Oh, oh! I know this one!" Kiana suddenly remembered a trope she had seen in martial arts movies. "Is this the part where I have to hang a bucket of water from my wrists? Or balance a bowl on my head?"
"No, those are completely outdated methods," Yanqing instantly vetoed her.
He then drew his sword with one hand, flipping it over so the flat side of the blade faced upward.
He placed his smartphone on the flat of the blade, unlocked the screen, and then used his other hand to violently tap, swipe, and close hundreds of garbage, pop-up ad-filled apps at a blinding, dizzying speed.
"Did you notice anything?" he asked calmly, maintaining the exact same posture.
"Uh... Master Yanqing's hand speed is incredibly fast?" Kiana blinked, offering an unsure guess.
"Incorrect."
Fuli provided the correct answer. "The key point is, Old Ma clearly opened a massive amount of apps all at once, but the screen didn't accidentally redirect to Taobao or Pinduoduo a single time."
GASP—!
Kiana inhaled sharply, staring at Yanqing with eyes full of absolute, profound reverence.
What kind of terrifying, god-like hand stability is that?! So this is the true power of the Luofu's Sword Champion!
"This is merely the absolute basics," the person in question calmly pocketed his phone, striking a pose that exuded a lonely-at-the-top, peerless master aura. "With your physical specs, achieving this won't be difficult after a little practice."
He then casually added, as if it were a completely trivial afterthought, "Oh, by the way. While I was doing that, Yunli secretly activated a localized gravity disruption device to try and mess me up. But petty tricks like that are a bit too advanced for your current level, so you can ignore them for now."
Standing to the side, Yunli acted as if she hadn't heard a single word. She immediately took over the lesson. "Anyway, first, you're going to do fifty sets of basic strength training. While doing so, you will balance a smartphone on each shoulder and one on top of your head. If a single ad redirects you to the app store, you fail the set and have to start over. You will do this until you achieve absolute success."
She flashed Kiana a massive thumbs-up, her smile overflowing with encouragement. "Don't worry! With your Herrscher-class physical specs, this tiny amount of training will be an absolute piece of cake!"
In other words, there's going to be even more terrifying, hellish training waiting for me after this, isn't there?!
The white furball looked at the perfectly 'friendly' smiles of her two grandmasters, and then looked at Fuli's incredibly unserious, 'I believe in you!' grinning face. Her heart was instantly swallowed by an overwhelming premonition of absolute doom.
Uwaaaaaa!
I can't do thisssss!