I'm standing on a cliff on the island, staring blankly at the sea—don't think I'm just spacing out. I'm actually training.
Suddenly, seabirds scatter in panic, flapping their wings frantically.
I knew it—breakfast is here.
Sure enough, I hear the heavy thud of claws hitting the ground behind me. Based on the rushed, chaotic footsteps, my years of being chewed-on experience tell me instantly—five of them! No more, no less!
I stay calm, deliberately leaving my back exposed to lure them in.
Why not my butt, you ask?
…Hey!
If you were six, would you do that? Have you no shame?
How do I know I'm six?
No time for that now—I've gotta run!
See how nimble I am? I can leap about three meters up a tree in one jump…
How do I know it's three meters? How do I measure it?
…
…I'm done talking! You take over! With all your nagging, how am I supposed to tell my story? Did I offend you or something? Are you here just to push my buttons?
I say one thing, you interrupt with another. When will it end? Day in, day out!
How old are you? Got a partner? When's the wedding? Was it you who killed that person? Are those kids yours? 'Cause they don't look like you…
…You think you're the only one who can ask questions?!
Anyway, I leap up three meters, then forward another three. Whoosh!
Those wolf-like monsters are hot on my tail, keeping up with me almost effortlessly.
I've been surviving and escaping on this island for six years… Whoosh!
Not only is my stamina strong—my endurance is ridiculously good! With a few more leaps, those wolves think they've got me every time, but not once do they manage to touch my back.
While I'm purposely messing with them, I spot a wisp of smoke rising from a valley—I know that little freak has already gotten breakfast ready.
Might as well bring these "lunch meats" back with me, so I lead the wolves toward the valley.
You're asking, after being chewed on for six years, can I really tell there are exactly five wolves chasing me?
…Well, I was gonna say seven earlier, but it was an emergency—I misspoke.
I didn't miscalculate, you've gotta believe me.
I dash into the valley, heading straight for the smoke.
Soon, the path narrows.
Up ahead, just as expected, that little freak has already lit the fire, set up the pot, boiled the water—waiting for me to bring back the meat.
When it sees me bringing a pack of wolf meat on the hoof, it excitedly waves me over.
The moment I step into the path—now only wide enough for one person—I immediately feel the healing energy of its passive aura!
I'm hungry, so I sit by the pot, grab the leftover rabbit leg it hands me, and start gnawing eagerly—just as one of the wolves starts chewing on my back.
I don't even care. Because right now, my HP is 24. A normal wolf bite takes 20 HP, but that little freak's [Passive Healing Aura] recovers exactly 20 HP per second.
That way, by the time the wolf gets tired of chewing, I can easily catch it, kill it, and eat it.
Plus, there are six more waiting in line.
Today's haul is big—we'll have plenty to eat, and we can dry and save the extras.
How do I know how to count seconds?
…I'm young, not stupid! Don't use your IQ to question my skills!
See that little freak over there, boiling water and chewing on a rabbit leg? Yeah, the really ugly one.
It says it used to be some kind of Demon Marshal, got tricked by some archangel, and both of those idiots fell down to the mortal realm—wait, not I mean "mortal realm."
It got me wondering—these so-called Demon Marshals and archangels, by the lore, should've lived for tens of thousands of years, right?
After living that long, how can they still be so dumb, trusting what their enemy says? I'm not even six, and I don't believe a single word that thing says.
What kind of IQ does it take for a demon and an angel to… actually trust each other?
You say this has nothing to do with counting seconds?
Can't you… connect the dots? If it didn't teach me, how would I know? You think we've just been eating and sleeping on this island for six whole years?
But didn't I say I don't believe a word it says?
…
If you're not here to chat properly, just say so—I can always find someone else to talk to.
I mean it.
…
You're asking how my defense is coming along?
Hey, now you're talking!
That's how you ask questions—without annoying people, got it?
I'm not really sure what this thing does, but that little freak tells me it's super useful. I… don't believe a single word it says.
How much Absolute Defense have I gained? Only 5 points in six years. Not sure why it's so slow. Could it be… that I really have to offer my butt to the monsters to chew on to get more?
But it did explain what Absolute Defense is: it means complete resistance or reduction of damage from any attack type, and it makes any variable attack always take the minimum value.
You're saying this ability, combined with my demon's passive aura, makes me invincible?
Hmm… Sometimes you really know how to keep a conversation going. See? Now you're speaking my language.
Yeah, that's pretty much it. Otherwise, we'd have been dead on this island long ago.
Hey! Let's pause for a second—let me fling this wolf that's tired of chewing me over to that little freak to skin and butcher.
…
Alright, the next one's started gnawing on me. Let's keep talking.
Where were we?
Oh, right—"otherwise, we'd have been dead long ago"? Yeah, sometimes I feel like having it around does make a bit of a difference.
You think I can't live without it? Look, it's been bound to me since I was born. I summoned it right after I came into this world. Who do you think needs who more?
Do I find it annoying? Absolutely.
But the truth is, it raised me. I won't forget that.
So don't even think about eating it—I won't allow it!
You say you never suggested eating it? Then why was your spit flying everywhere when you asked just now?
Wait!
Stop talking! You hear that?
No? Useless. Totally useless. Hey, little freak! Hurry up with those wolves—we're heading out of the cave. I hear the sound of waves breaking on the shore.
I'll just finish these off one by one. One, two, three, four, five… six! Done. We'll deal with them when we get back. Little freak, come on! And wipe your mouth—have some manners.
You're asking why I go through all the trouble of luring the wolves back just to get chewed on, if I can already beat them?
Isn't it obvious? I need to level up my "Absolute Defense."
Besides, there's not much to do every day. Messing with them, gaining "Absolute Defense"—isn't that fun and meaningful?
Whoa—I hear the sound of slicing wind, crashing waves, flapping sails… and people talking!!
This damn island finally has visitors! Little freak, follow me, hurry!
You're asking, aren't I human?
…
You want me to slap you? I swear I will!