The days that followed weren't really days.
More like a long stretch of fog, a thick haze in which Nari moved like a ghost, suspended between two worlds: the one she tried to rebuild, and the one that still called to her in silence, with that dark voice that kept echoing in her head despite her.
She went to work.
She smiled when needed.
She talked when spoken to.
Her hands performed the usual gestures: typing on a keyboard, filling files, organizing things, answering emails.
But inside, everything was dead.
Everything except the craving.
That craving swollen, burning, unbearable, hiding between every breath.
A craving she hated, cursed, tried to smother every morning by repeating:
— He doesn't exist. He never existed.
But she was lying.
She knew it.
The hole in her belly was living proof of the opposite.
Her boyfriend tried to be tender.
He made her coffee.
He covered her at night.
He wrapped his arm around her when she fell asleep in front of the TV.
And yet…
Nothing went in anymore.
Nothing touched her.
Not even his smile, not even his sweet words, not even his warm arms around her.
She played her role.
Like before.
But this time, it was worse: she now knew what it meant to live with fire.
To be desired until it burned.
To feel someone devour your heart and body with that dangerous, almost forbidden intensity.
So how do you become lukewarm again…
after tasting the wildfire?
One evening, her boyfriend came home with that clumsy, adorable smile she once loved so much, his eyes sparkling with a gentle, almost childlike excitement.
— Nari… tonight, I'd like to take you to a restaurant. Dress up nicely!
She lifted her eyes toward him.
His voice was soft.
His intentions pure.
His love… sincere.
And yet…
her stomach tightened.
An instinctive resistance, a fatigue collapsing on her shoulders like a stone too heavy.
— I don't know… I'm not really in the mood lately…
He sat beside her, took her hand, wrapped it in tender, familiar warmth.
— Come on… please. It'll do us good. It's been a while since we've done something just the two of us.
A dull guilt rose in her like a slow poison.
He was trying.
He did everything for her.
And she… she was somewhere else.
— Fine… okay, she murmured.
— For what occasion? she dared to ask.
He laughed, flustered, scratching his neck with an adorable glimmer in his eyes.
— Just because! A guy can't spoil his girlfriend anymore?
She forced a laugh.
Forced a smile.
Forced everything, really.
In the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror as she got ready, she saw her own reflection as if it belonged to another woman.
A woman who had lived too fast, too hard, too wrong.
A woman who knew what she had lost and what she could never get back.
When the door rang to signal he was ready, she took a deep breath, like a diver about to enter ice-cold water.
— Come on…
Just tonight.
Just a little.
And she went downstairs.
She didn't know the night was going to break her all over again.
And that what she thought was extinguished would resurface…
with a violence she wasn't prepared to face.
The restaurant was small, warm, lit by golden fairy lights and candles dancing behind fogged windows.
A scent of hot soup, grilled dishes, and red wine filled the air—
a cozy, familiar, almost magical ambiance, the kind of simple evenings some couples look forward to.
With time, something softened.
She found herself laughing — a small, fragile laugh, but real.
Her boyfriend, proud as ever, smiled every time she did, as if it were a gift she was giving him.
Their meal went smoothly: anecdotes about work, jokes she already knew but that still pulled a smile from her, sweet wine warming her throat — not like fire, but like a lukewarm blanket.
For a moment, she thought:
Maybe this is what real life is.
Safety.
Softness.
Peace.
Sion had never offered peace.
Only chaos.
Fire.
Destruction.
A passion so intense she had burned her skin, her nerves, her heart on it.
Here, tonight, she didn't tremble.
She didn't lose her breath.
She didn't feel condemned by insane desire.
Everything was… normal.
Almost beautiful, even.
And yet.
They left the restaurant, hand in hand.
The city breathed autumn: fresh air, slightly humid, neon lights reflecting on wet sidewalks, people laughing on terraces despite the wind, a softness floating in the atmosphere.
— Feels good, doesn't it? he said, squeezing her hand.
— Yes… she whispered.
And it wasn't a lie.
They walked for a long time, side by side, finding a complicity they had lost.
Nari felt part of herself relax, let go, drift.
Until he stopped.
In front of the old illuminated bridge, a bridge they had crossed dozens of times together.
A bridge where he had said "I love you" for the first time.
A bridge that tonight glowed like a stage set just for them.
He turned to her.
His hands trembled.
His breath too.
— Nari…
I…
He went down on one knee.
The world stopped.
Her heart too.
Or maybe it exploded.
She couldn't tell.
He took out a small black box.
A box that suddenly weighed like an anvil.
— Nari… will you marry me?
Nari's breath vanished.
All the colors of the world blurred.
The city noise became muffled, distant.
She felt herself slipping out of her own body.
As if she were watching the scene from far away.
Very far.
There, in front of her, a man she had known for years.
A man she had truly loved.
A man good, stable, tender.
A man who wanted to build a life with her.
And deep inside her belly, in a corner she wished she could tear out, another face surfaced.
A slow, cruel, beautiful smile.
Golden eyes piercing straight through her.
A breath haunting her nights.
Hands that had left an imprint impossible to erase.
Sion.
No. Not now. Not here. Not like this.
But it was too late.
He was there.
Alive in her mind like a second skin.
Her boyfriend waited.
Eyes shining.
Full of love.
Full of hope.
And she…
she had only a whisper left.
— Yes… I accept.
She said it.
Her lips formed the word before she even understood what it meant.
He stood up, hugged her, spun her around, kissed her as if the world belonged to them.
— I LOVE NARI AND WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!! he shouted into the night.
People clapped.
Laughter, cheers, a small crowd looked at them with tenderness.
Nari smiled.
Yes.
She smiled.
But inside, something collapsed in silence.
Like a building blown up from the inside, invisible at first glance, but destined to crumble.
She looked at the lake.
The reflections.
The lights.
And behind all that…
in a shadowed corner…
She saw Sion's ghost.
Not a memory.
A craving.
A fire.
A presence refusing to die.
And without knowing why, a traitorous tear slid down her cheek.