After leaving the red deer herd, a sign that read 'Big Cats' stood at the intersection to welcome them.
"Roll up the windows, ladies and gentlemen," Anthony said, reading the safety warnings on the sign. "We're passing by the distinguished predators. Best to show some respect."
Amidst cheers, the windows were rolled up. Ian started handing out his snacks again, but to his disappointment, his classmates were now completely absorbed, pressed against the windows on either side. Their hands still smelled of feed and carried the fuzzy memory of deer muzzles. No one had the attention to spare for his Honeydukes Cauldron Cakes.
Grasslands, turning from green to yellow, were sliced in two by the road. Water droplets shaken from leaves occasionally plinked against the roof. Following the slow-moving convoy, they crawled through the tiger territory. All they could see were early autumn trees, no different from the woods near Hogwarts.
"Are we in tiger territory yet, Professor?" Ian asked, his words muffled around a mouthful of Super-Blow Bubblegum.
"Yes," Anthony said. He looked ahead and repeated, "Yes, Mr. Williams. Look ahead of you."
"Huh… oh! Merlin!"
Those in the back leaned over the front seats, crowding toward the driver's side. The convoy had come to a complete stop. A tiger was rising from the grass on the right, shoulders hunched. It stood up, looked left and right, then began ambling towards them.
"It's coming, it's coming, it's coming…" Ian whispered.
No other sound filled the van. Everyone held their breath, mesmerized by the tiger's slow, rolling walk. Its tail hung low, only the tip curling up slightly. Its paws were astonishingly wide. Beneath the striped fur, muscles slid with every step.
The tiger passed, unconcerned, in front of the vehicle ahead of Anthony, probably because the gap between cars there was just right for its liking. All six students sighed in disappointment, some loudly, some softly. They watched, crestfallen, as its magnificent coat disappeared between the blue and black vehicles.
"Where's it going?" Cedric asked.
"To the place it is about to go," Anne Scott, the fifth-year Ravenclaw, said reflexively. Angelina shot her a weird look.
"Sorry," Anne said. "That sounded too much like a riddle our common room door would ask."
The tiger ambled into the woods on the other side of the road. It showed no interest in these mobile, variously colored tin boxes. To it, the cars were probably just some strange, inedible natural phenomenon that flowed along a set path every day.
…
The encounter with the tiger had set their expectations high. Now, entering the lion territory, the students were brimming with anticipation. As the only Gryffindor present, Angelina announced loudly that a lion would definitely pass in front of their car.
"Do you know lions are social animals?" she said with lioness-like pride. "Lions are good at teamwork. They live in groups. So we won't just see one lion—we'll see a pride."
Roger reminded her, "They might not like going out in the rain."
"The rain's stopped," the Hufflepuff beside Cedric mumbled in rebuttal. He was the quiet type. Apart from accepting snacks from Ian, he mostly seemed to be dozing.
Roger's skepticism only made Angelina more adamant. "They'll walk past us in a line. The male with the big mane, like the Gryffindor banner. The agile, battle-ready lionesses, just as lionesses should be. And the cubs, trailing behind the group…"
…
But the lions didn't.
They did see a pride, but the lions were just lying quietly in the grass. Like a bunch of yellow, furry statues, bellies rising and falling with each breath.
At the students' pleading, their van slowed to a crawl. Anthony felt they could hardly call it "driving" anymore. More like "shambling."
"Why won't they come over?"
A lioness lifted her head, yawned, glanced in their direction, and settled back down. At the back of the line, through the rear window, they could see one lion passing the convoy, looking for a comfortable spot to rest.
"From where we entered, past the zebras, monkeys, red deer, to the lions here, all the land they live on was once part of a noble estate," Anthony said, trying to distract the students. "Many nobles open their estates to the public. To cover costs, or make money. Or maybe just because they're bored and want to do something interesting."
The students, indeed, stopped staring disappointedly at the lions outside.
"Muggle nobles kept lions on their estates?" Roger asked. "I'd have thought that was pretty dangerous for them."
"If I had this much grassland and woods, I'd want to keep lions too," Angelina said understandingly. "Dark yellow, light yellow, brown…"
"And monkeys?" Anne asked. "They were cute, sure, but that's because we were only near them for half an hour. They're basically the Muggle world's Cornish Pixies. I've never heard of anyone wanting to keep Cornish Pixies. Some adventurers don't even know how to put them back in their cages."
"You don't believe those rumors, do you?" Angelina said, astonished. "Professor Lockhart was just testing the second-years' practical skills! Look at his books—"
"I've read all his books. They don't mention how to put pixies back in cages, do they?" Anne said. "I'm just saying he might have brought them to class without thinking it through. They're not dangerous, but they're a nuisance. And Professor Lockhart specializes in dealing with dangerous things."
"But he's brilliant! He must have known what he was doing! Do you know Malfoy? Professor Lockhart just waved his wand, beautifully, and Malfoy coughed up all those slugs! Got the punishment he deserved!"
"Since you bring that up, even if it shows his magical prowess, he's still a professor! He shouldn't use magic to punish students!"
"If you don't know what Malfoy said, you should find out!" Angelina's voice rose. "If I'd said what he did, I'd gladly vomit a thousand slugs! And have my neck turned into something disgusting!"
"Whatever Malfoy said, Professor Lockhart shouldn't have used magic on a student! I mean, come on, he's a professor! He had a hundred school-rule-approved ways to punish the kid, but he chose magic! Next time someone says something he doesn't like, is he going to demonstrate that snowman-banishing jinx? And after that, a Dark curse?"
"Scott!" Angelina stared at her in disbelief. "You think that word was just 'something Professor Lockhart didn't like'? It was the most vicious thing he could think to say! I didn't take you for a blood purist!"
"Girls," Anthony began, but his voice was drowned out by Anne's reply.
"I am not a blood purist!" Anne said, voice high with offence. "I know what Malfoy said, and I think it was awful too! But Malfoy being wrong doesn't make Professor Lockhart right! Merlin, I get it now. Professor Lockhart's reputation is ruined by people like you who idolize him unconditionally."
"His reputation is ruined by people like you who think you're being 'objective' while you slander him," Angelina shot back. "I think Malfoy deserved that lesson. What good did detentions and point deductions ever do him? Last school year, Professor Anthony almost emptied the Slytherin point glass…"
She stopped short. She suddenly remembered: Professor Anthony was in the same van. And he wasn't deaf.
"Wow, that lion roared for a long time just now, did you hear it?" Ian turned from the passenger seat. "That's a good lion."
Roger said, "I heard two."
Cedric passed two packets of biscuits to the front.
"Sorry, Professor Anthony," Angelina mumbled.
"No, don't worry about it," Anthony said, unable to turn because he was watching the road. "In fact, I'm quite glad to hear a discussion like that. Especially since none of you tried to pull out your wands. If I can serve as a point in an argument, I'm honored."
"I'm a fan of Professor Lockhart's books too," Anne said. "I just… ah, forget it. Seeing Malfoy like that was pretty satisfying."
Angelina apologized to her. "I guess I shouldn't have called you a blood purist. I mean, you're taking Muggle Studies. That's probably the hardest class to find a blood purist in."
Anthony took back the thread. "Back to the zoo. The zoo wasn't originally part of the estate. I don't think the lions were either. The estate owner had the novel idea to add a bit of fun when opening the grounds to the public. Lions. Humans voluntarily locking themselves in cages," he gestured at the slowly moving van, "and lions not in cages. Did I mention the word 'topology'?"
In the passenger seat, Ian stopped his teasing of Angelina and Anne. He looked awkward. Angelina glared at him but looked equally guilty.
"No, Professor," Cedric said firmly. "What does it mean?"
Anthony launched into an explanation of why a circle and an ellipse were equivalent, why a square and a circle were equivalent, why a doughnut and a teacup and, with some simplification, a human were equivalent, and why a lion in a cage and a human in a cage were equivalent.
"Did I make sense?" Anthony asked, watching the students in the rearview mirror. They were slumped in their seats, staring blankly at the brown tree trunks sliding past the window.
"I think I might need some extra research…" Cedric said. "No. I didn't get it, Professor. It's too strange."
Anthony smiled. "Where did you start to get lost? Don't worry, I bet this won't appear on any Muggle Studies exam."
"When you started talking about sets," Cedric said. "Open sets, closed sets… I really don't understand what those mean."
"I guessed as much," Anthony said. "It's alright, Mr. Diggory. I assure you, not many Muggles in all of Britain understand it either."
"Professor Anthony," Ian asked in a stage whisper, as if afraid the question would actually be heard, "can I pass Muggle Studies?"
Anthony recalled Ian's quiz results. "Your work in the first half of last term was excellent. The second half was good too, but something else might have distracted you…"
"The Albacore Club, Professor."
"Right. Facing your O.W.L.s in fifth year, feeling the pressure?" Anthony asked Ian and Anne. "Miss Scott's grades are outstanding. Very consistent. Mr. Williams, if you really want to pass, you could try reading the chapter summaries at the end of each topic this term."
Ian nodded glumly. "I know… It's just, my uncle got a big order over the holidays. He's still catching up on stock. Always needs me to mind the shop on weekends."
"What order?"
"Snake-shaped jellybeans," Ian said.
Anthony was satisfied to note the slightly tense atmosphere in the van had been completely washed away by Muggle Studies. When he announced they were about to exit the park and head for lunch, everyone perked up happily. Even Angelina and Anne.
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