"Where… where am I?" Lin Zeyan's voice trembled, echoing through a darkness without form or end. There was no body, no shape, only his voice drifting alone in the void.
"Where the hell am I!" he screamed, but the sound vanished into nothing. He tried to crawl out, to pull himself free, but the darkness only pressed closer, thick and unyielding.
"Why is it dark here? Why is everywhere in total darkness?" His voice shook. "No… it's not dark. It's colorless, squishy, wet, disturbingly warm… Am.. am I blind?"
"No… no way. My handsome fox eyes… nothing must happen to them! Who is there? Turn on this damn light!" His voice cracked, panic sharpening into pain, but no one heard. No one answered.
"Wait… didn't I have an accident just now? Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?" He gagged at the thought. "Is the afterlife supposed to smell like… slime? Like a bloated, wet balloon? And colorless?" His words came out in a rush, each one edged with rising hysteria. "No. I can't stay here. I have to get out. Move forward. Don't stay in this squishy, dark, wet place."
He tried to lift himself, but he couldn't. "Why can't I feel my body? Why can't I move? Did some freaking angel tie me down?" he spat into the void. Only the sticky warmth pressed from every direction, a hands-off suffocation.
"Am I in hell? Is hell just this? No sight, no motion?" His voice echoed in the dark void, small and hopeless, and was swallowed at once.
Then something moved. Not in front of him through him. A force shifted. It tugged. More like , it pulled.
"Oh no… oh no, no, no. What's pulling my head?" Panic curdled into terror as a pressure tightened around his skull, slow at first, then unbearable. "Why… why am I being squeezed like toothpaste? Who is pulling me?! Somebody, anybody, turn on a light! It's too dark here! If I get out of this, if anything should happen to my handsome face, I swear I'll make you all pay! Whether you're angels or devils or he'll keepers, you'll regret hurting my perfect face!"
But the pressure didn't stop. The pulling force didn't end. It kept going, stronger, harder, like it didn't even care about the noise he made.
"Hey! Stop yanking my head like that! Do you know who I am? I could sue you for this! This is harassment!"
No one answered. The pulling grew stronger. The pressure crushed him.
Then came the smell metallic, sharp, suffocating.
"Is… is that blood? What the hell? Am I in a slaughterhouse? Did someone kidnap me from the accident scene? Or is hell like a slaughterhouse? At least if you all slaughter in this damn hell, try to clean this blood! Don't you know some of us hate dirtiness!" His voice snapped out, irritated and commanding.
He had barely finished talking when a scream tore through the air, raw and thunderous.
"HMMM!!!"
"Who's screaming? Why is there screaming? Is she the one dragging me, or the one being slaughtered before me? Are they dragging you too, to hell?" he screamed out loudly in fear and concern.
The world spun, and suddenly, blinding light slammed into his face.
"Ugh! My eyes! My beautiful fox eyes!"
And just like that, he was out. Out of the dark void.
Air hit his skin. Hands grabbed him. Voices murmured around him.
Then a sound escaped his mouth
A high-pitched, uncontrollable newborn baby wail.
"Wait… did I just cry? Oh my god, no! I'm crying! Like… like a real baby! This can't be real!"
Someone lifted him gently.
"Congratulations, My Empress. It's a prince."
Lin Zeyan froze. He tried to force open his eyes .He tried to shout, tried to say something, but his voice wouldn't follow. All his thoughts were loud inside his head, yet the only sound his tiny body could produce was a fragile newborn's cry.
"A what now? A… a baby? A prince? Am I the one being lifted as the baby? Where the hell am I? Someone stop playing a prank on me!" his inner voice screamed in disbelief.
"Wait… if I'm now a baby… did I just get pushed out of a… coochie?! That dark place was a coochie?! I just came out of a pussy! No! I'm supposed to give a pussy head, not come out of one! This is a disgrace to my almighty CEO self!"
He screamed again, but all that came out was another shrill baby cry.
"Congratulations, Celestial Empress and Celestial King! It's a prince!" the midwife announced joyfully, bowing low.
"Congratulations, Heavenly Lord! Congratulations, Heavenly Empress!" the attendants echoed, kneeling.