I wake up burning.
Not sick burning. Something else. Something that makes my skin feel too tight and my wolf is going crazy inside my head.
No. No no no.
This can't be happening.
I stumble to the bathroom. Splash cold water on my face. It doesn't help. The heat is everywhere, crawling under my skin, pooling low in my stomach.
I haven't had a heat in five years. Not since my wolf went dormant.
Of course it comes back now.
There's a knock on my door.
"Sage?" Kieran's voice. "You okay? The bond feels weird."
"Don't come in."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just go away."
The door opens anyway. He takes one look at me and freezes.
"Oh hell."
"Get out."
"You're in heat." He's not moving. Just staring. His eyes are getting darker. "When did it start?"
"Just now. Leave. Please."
"I can't." His voice sounds strained. "The bond won't let me. Not when you're like this."
"Kieran, I'm serious. Get out before something bad happens."
"Something bad already happened." He grips the doorframe. "You're in heat and bonded to three Alphas. Do you have any idea what that means?"
"It means you need to leave right now."
"It means all three of us are about to lose our minds." He's breathing hard. "I can already feel it. The bond is pulling me to you and I can't fight it much longer."
"Try harder."
"Sage." He takes a step into the room. Stops himself. "This isn't just about control. Heat means you're fertile. And the bond is screaming at all of us to claim you right now."
My stomach flips. "All three of you can feel this?"
"Every second of it."
There's shouting in the hallway. Then Damon's voice. "Kieran, get away from her door."
"Can't. Already inside."
"You're WHAT?"
Damon appears. Sees Kieran. Sees me. His eyes flash gold immediately.
"Out. Now." He's trying to use Alpha command but his voice is shaking. "Before I throw you out."
"You can barely stand up straight yourself," Kieran says. "The bond's hitting you just as hard."
"I don't care. She needs space and you're in here smelling like..." He stops. Takes a breath that looks painful. "Get out."
"Both of you get out!" I try to sound firm but it comes out breathy. Wrong. The heat is getting worse by the second.
Caius appears behind Damon. Takes one look at the situation and physically drags Damon backward.
"Neither of you are helping." He shoves Damon toward Kieran. "Go. I'll handle this."
"Like hell you will," Damon snarls.
"I'm the oldest. I have the most control. Now move before I make you."
Something in his voice makes them both back up. Barely.
Caius steps into my room. Closes the door on his brothers. Locks it.
The second we're alone, the bond flares so hot I have to grab the bedpost.
"Don't touch me," I get out.
"I'm not going to." He's standing by the door. As far away as he can get. "But I'm not leaving you alone either."
"Why not?"
"Because heat makes you vulnerable. Irrational. You could try to leave, get hurt, do something stupid." His jaw is tight. "And because the bond is demanding I stay close and fighting it is taking all my focus."
"This is bad."
"This is a disaster." He won't look directly at me. "How long has it been since your last heat?"
"Five years."
"That's why it's hitting so hard. Your body's making up for lost time." He finally looks at me and I see his eyes are silver instead of gray. Wolf eyes. "This is going to get worse before it gets better."
"How much worse?"
"You'll need to nest. Won't want anyone except your mates near you. And the urge to mate will be almost impossible to resist."
"I'm not mating anyone."
"I know. That's why I'm staying." He slides down to sit against the door. "I'll keep Damon and Kieran out. And I'll make sure you don't do anything you'll regret when this passes."
"You're going to just sit there? For how long?"
"Heats last three to five days usually. But since yours has been dormant, could be shorter." He closes his eyes. "Or longer."
I make it another hour before the nesting instinct kicks in.
I start dragging blankets off the bed, pillows from the couch, building something in the corner. My brain knows it's stupid but my wolf doesn't care.
Caius doesn't move. Doesn't comment. Just sits there keeping guard.
"This is humiliating," I say while arranging pillows for the third time.
"It's biology."
"I hate biology."
"Most she-wolves do." He shifts slightly. "For what it's worth, you're handling it better than most. I've seen she-wolves completely lose themselves during heat."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"No. Just stating facts."
The temperature keeps climbing. I end up stripping down to just Damon's shirt that I've been sleeping in. It's big enough to cover everything but barely.
"You should look away," I say.
"I am looking away."
He's staring at the wall so hard I'm surprised it doesn't catch fire.
"The bond is killing you right now, isn't it?" I ask.
"Yes."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because someone has to. And I'm the only one with enough control not to make this worse." He finally looks at me. "Get in your nest. Try to sleep. It'll help."
I climb into the mess of blankets I built. It actually does help. A little.
"Caius?"
"What?"
"Thank you."
He doesn't answer.
The next few hours blur together. The heat comes in waves. Sometimes it's manageable. Sometimes I'm biting pillows to keep from screaming.
Through it all, Caius stays by the door. Doesn't move. Doesn't speak unless I do first.
At some point Damon starts pounding on the door.
"Let me in."
"No," Caius says.
"That's my mate in there suffering."
"She's our mate. And you'll make it worse."
"I can help."
"You'll claim her. We both know it. You don't have the control right now."
"And you do?"
"Barely. But yes." Caius sounds tired. "Go take a cold shower. Train until you pass out. Do whatever you need to do but stay away from this door."
Damon leaves. I can feel his frustration through the bond.
"He's pissed," I say.
"He'll live."
Another wave hits. Worse than before. I curl up in the nest trying not to whimper.
"Breathe," Caius says. His voice is closer. He's moved to sit just outside the nest. Still not touching me but near enough I can feel him. "Focus on the bond. Use it to ground yourself."
"How?"
"Feel where we are. All three of us. Focus on that instead of the heat."
I try. Damon is training. I can feel him pushing himself too hard, trying to burn off energy. Kieran is in his room, pacing. Restless. And Caius is right here. Solid. Steady.
It helps. Not much but some.
"Better?" he asks.
"A little."
We sit like that for a while. Me in my nest. Him just outside it. The bond humming between us.
"Can I ask you something?" I say eventually.
"Yes."
"Why are you really doing this? You don't even like me."
"I never said I didn't like you."
"You said you didn't want a mate."
"I don't. But I have one anyway." He's quiet for a second. "And despite everything, I'm not going to let you suffer alone."
"Even though your father killed my family?"
"That's on him. Not you." He shifts. "You didn't choose this bond any more than I did. Doesn't seem fair to punish you for his mistakes."
I want to stay mad at him. At all of them. But right now, with the heat burning through me, I'm just grateful he's here.
"Caius?"
"What?"
"If I asked you to come closer, would you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't trust myself." His voice sounds rough. "The bond is barely contained right now. If I touch you while you're in heat, I won't stop."
"What if I don't want you to stop?"
"You're not thinking straight. Ask me again when your heat is over."
Another wave. Stronger. I bite back a sound.
"How much longer?" I manage.
"At least another day. Maybe two."
"I'm going to die."
"You're not going to die. You're going to be miserable but you'll survive." He sounds so certain. "I'll make sure of it."
I believe him.
The heat doesn't break until late the next day.
When it finally does, I feel wrung out. Exhausted. Like I ran a marathon.
Caius is still by the door. He looks worse than I feel. Eyes shadowed, jaw tight, everything about him screaming tension.
"It's over," I say.
"I know. I can feel it." He stands slowly. "How are you feeling?"
"Like death."
"That's normal." He moves toward the door. Stops. "The bath will help. And food. I'll have someone bring both."
"Caius."
He turns.
"Thank you. Really. For staying."
"You already thanked me."
"I know. But I mean it." I pull the blanket tighter. "You didn't have to do that."
"Yes I did." He opens the door. Damon and Kieran are both standing in the hall looking like they haven't slept. "She's fine. Heat broke. Leave her alone for a few hours."
He walks away before either of them can answer.
Damon meets my eyes. "You okay?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry. For the heat. For all of it."
"Not your fault."
Kieran leans against the doorframe. "For the record, that was the worst two days of my life."
"Mine too."
"Need anything?" Damon asks.
"Sleep. Food. A new body."
"I can do two of those." Almost a smile. "Get some rest. We'll talk later."
They leave.
I collapse back into the nest and pass out immediately.
When I wake up hours later, there's food on the nightstand and someone drew me a bath.
And despite everything, I feel different.
Stronger, maybe.
Or just more aware that this bond isn't going away.
And neither are they.