I think I'm having withdrawals. It has to be, but when I think about it, it just seems silly. I haven't seen Charlie for an entire week, but for good reasons. Yet each day, I'm feeling more restless without him. I wonder what he's doing right now. I bet he's hanging out with Luke again. Right… Luke. Charlie's been spending way more time with him lately. Not that I care, really. I know they're best buddies. I know that!! Jeez, I never thought I could be the jealous type.
"Why are you staring at that sandwich like you want to murder it?" Jay's voice breaks me from my trance.
I grunt, taking a bite of the sandwich with more force than necessary. "I'm not. I was just thinking."
"Yeah, thinking of murder apparently." He snorts. "But seriously, you've been grumpy. Like real grumpy. Weren't you literally the happiest person on earth after you got a boyfriend??
I try not to grumble. "Haven't seen him in a while."
"Yeah, no shit! You've been following me all week, dude."
That's true. I've been by Jay's side ever since he went to me all busted up. I couldn't leave him alone. Yeah, old habits die hard.
"Any urges?"
Jay groans. "Dude, not this again."
"Just answer the question, man." I know I'm being persistent, but I don't care.
His jaw clenches and he looks away from me. "No."
"Jayson."
Jay holds his hands up. "I'm not lying! I swear."
"Hm."
Before I can gauge his sincerity, Jay changes the subject and points behind me. I whip my head around, irritated already, but it fades as soon as I meet those lovely eyes. "Charlie!"
My boyfriend smiles and I immediately forget everything that has been done wrong to me. He takes the seat next to me. "Hey, guys. I'm not intruding, am I?"
"Not at all, babe." I catch Charlie stiffening at the nickname and I a grin curls at my lips. "What? Don't tell me you're still shy about me calling you that?"
He shakes his head, nervously glancing at Jay. "No, I just… I didn't know you already told Jay."
I look over to my friend and he just shrugs. "Of course, he knows. He's my best friend. Wait. Did you not tell anyone yet? Not even Luke?"
"No, not yet…"
Jay snorts and leans forward. "Was it supposed to be a secret?"
Charlie quickly shakes his head. "No, not at all! I've been meaning to tell Luke. But I just don't know how to bring it up yet, because…"
"Because it'll be his first time introducing his partner to his best buddy!" I finish the sentence for him, my voice more proud than anything. "I'm Charlie's first, you know."
Jay rolls his eyes. "Okay? Sound rough, Charlie. My condolences."
"Hey!"
Charlie's soft laugh cuts through the bickering. "I think… Blake, I want you there when I tell Luke."
The most childish grin forms on my lips. "Of course, anything for you."
"Gross. I'm getting out of here." Jay gags, but he doesn't get up to leave. "I mean Blake, not you, Charlie."
Charlie chuckles, but then the mood shifts almost instantly. "Have you guys heard anything from Louis?"
Jay and I exchange a glance. I catch the way his jaw tightens before he looks away. I sigh, turning to Charlie. "We don't hang out with him anymore. Not after what he said last time. You know… you were there."
Charlie frowns. "Yeah, but I thought we could make up. Talk or something."
"Why talk?" Jay's voice cuts in, firm and cold. "He's homophobic and that's that. End of story."
Charlie sighs. "I know what he said, but maybe he doesn't mean it? It's not the Louis I know, you know."
"That's the thing." I inch closer. "We didn't know him. Apparently. And that's okay. Friends come and go."
Jay grumbles from across us. "Who needs friends anyway?"
"Bro." I deadpan. "What are we then?"
He shrugs.
I shake my head with a huff. "You're literally friends with your roommate, no?"
Jay grunts. "No. And he dropped out."
Charlie speaks up, optimistic as always. "That just means you'll get a new roommate! A new friend!"
I nod, agreeing with my boyfriend. Though Jay looks completely unamused and yeah, fair. I don't think he'll befriend his new roommate. He could definitely get more company besides me. And I've got to admit that Louis was a pretty good match to his grumpy personality. I even think he could have brought out another side of Jay. But I guess I'll never know.