Chapter 15: The Incident
While Jay, Gloria, and I were having breakfast, Manny walked in. "Mom, I'm home!"
"Hi, baby! Did you have fun at the slumber party? You must be exhausted." Gloria moved to hug him but stopped midway.
"No, I'm not tired at all. I was the first one to fall asleep," Manny grinned.
"What's on your face?" I questioned, frowning.
"A smile from having such a good time with my friends," he chuckled.
"No. Come here." Gloria, looking a little sad, guided Manny to the mirror.
"Oh. That's why they were laughing. I thought it was my funny take on current events," Manny muttered, crestfallen.
"Why would they do something like that?" Gloria turned to us.
"Don't worry about it. Guys pull pranks like that all the time. You just got to prank 'em back. Show 'em you're willing to give as good as you get," Jay brushed off the incident.
"What do you think?" Gloria pressed Manny.
"Hmm, revenge... I like it," Manny reflected, touching the scribbled-on beard across his face comically.
"Okay, if you need any help, just ask, Manny," I offered, putting my plate in the sink. "I'm heading over to Dunphy's and then to Brenda's."
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Haley was locked in an argument with her mother when I arrived.
"Let me guess," I opened, "you still haven't gotten your mom's approval to go to Prom." I glanced at Haley.
Brenda had secured two extra tickets for her Prom, and we decided to invite Haley as a thank-you for that night.
"I'm not letting Haley go to a party full of strangers, with alcohol, and especially with that seventeen-year-old hormone she is dating," Claire insisted.
"She'll have me and Brenda," I countered.
"Yeah, you're another teenage hormone, Jake. I don't trust you in this aspect," Claire retorted, "especially after that night at the wedding."
Well, she had a point. I wouldn't trust me either if I were a parent. And I didn't want to be Haley's babysitter at Prom.
"Oh, my God!" Haley cried out at her mom.
"Okay, can I step in here? I think I can help," Phil intervened, noticing the situation spiraling.
"Haley, what your mom is worried about is you getting your heart broken when Dylan goes off to college next year," Phil reasoned.
I stared oddly at him. Claire would throw a party if Haley broke up with Dylan.
"He's not going to college," Haley revealed.
"That's not what I'm even think-" Claire talked at the same time as her daughter, but stopped when she heard the new information, "He's not going to college?" she emphasized.
"He's in a band, okay? They're going on tour," Haley defended.
"Oh, this just gets better and better," Claire sneered sarcastically.
"Why are you always on me about everything?!" Haley shouted before storming out.
After a moment, Phil went after her, who had gone to her room.
"Oh, don't give me your judgmental face, Claire" I looked at her, "I doubt you were such a goody two-shoes when you were younger."
"For your information-" Claire began to argue, but I cut her off.
"I saw a police record under your name, Claire."
"That was… that was-" she tried to explain.
"Wow, so there really is a police record?" I smirked at her. "I was just bluffing, but it looks like I hit the mark."
She looked speechless, but before I could snoop for more information, the doorbell rang, giving Claire the excuse to pretend nothing had happened. I followed her, curious to see who the visitor was.
"Hey, Mitchell, great timing!" Claire opened the door and saw her brother. "What's up?"
Mitchell gave her a strange look. "Hey, just in the neighborhood." Spotting me, he gave me a small wave, which I returned.
"So, do you remember how Mom gave up a career to raise us?" he stepped inside as Claire was closing the door.
"Promising career," a second voice chimed in.
"Oh, God." Claire shot Mitchell a look of betrayal.
Yep, don't celebrate too soon...
"Claire?"
"Mom." Claire turned to face her and forced a wide smile.
Jesus, Claire, you look like the Joker
"Why so long?"
"Mm, I know. I know, it's weird when we haven't talked for a while." Claire scrambled for an excuse.
"I mean your hair," the woman cut in, lightly brushing Claire's hair
"Mm…" Claire made a face at Mitchell and started walking toward the kitchen.
The woman finally turned her eyes to me.
"Jake Pritchett, Jay's nephew," I introduced myself, unfazed.
"I'm DeDe," she said.
I just nodded. I'd heard what this piece of shit did at Gloria's wedding. If she weren't Claire and Mitchell's mother, she'd see I wasn't exactly a nice boy.
"Mom wants you to know that she's very sorry about the incident, and she wants us to forgive her," Mitchell told his sister.
"Oh, very nice of her to say that through you," Claire remarked with a hint of sarcasm, finally heading to the kitchen
"Do you see? The sarcasm is so hurtful - like a whip," I heard DeDe complaining as I followed Claire.
Mitchell started talking again when the four of us were in the kitchen, "So… so, anyway," he stammered, but continued, "Mom really wants to smooth everything over with Dad and Gloria, so I was thinking, would it be okay if she maybe joined us for dinner tonight?" he finally suggested.
"Because it may be the last time you ever see me," DeDe announced.
"Okay, wait. What are you talking about?" Claire inquired.
"Well, I'm moving to a far and dangerous place," DeDe said.
"Canada," Mitchell clarified, "but... uh, she met a man named Chas," he added.
"He's a logger," DeDe explained.
"Like a lumberjack?" Claire glanced oddly.
"No, he logs blood samples into a cholesterol study."
We all exchanged looks
"Anyway, until I'm past this whole wedding debacle, I can't be intimate with him," DeDe admitted.
"Oh." Claire winced.
"We do things to each other. We use our hands," DeDe continued.
"Oh, my lord." Claire groaned.
"Oye oye oye, there is an underage here," I shouted, making a disgusted face.
Claire gave me a look like, 'Really?'
I whispered to her, "Do you want to keep listening to your mom's intimate activities?"
She turned her head to DeDe. "Mom, he doesn't look it, but he's only sixteen. Have some decency."