Hu Tao: "???"
Hearing Felix's poetic euphemism, Hu Tao's face turned crimson, a flash of shame and anger sparking in her eyes.
What did he mean, "When one looks down and cannot see their toes, it is the sign of a peerless beauty"?
She didn't want this kind of beauty! It felt heavy and uncomfortable!
"The items in the Jar Shop are strange and unpredictable. Since it's already happened, I can't reverse it right now," Felix said, rubbing his nose awkwardly. "However, it's possible you might pull something in the future that can cancel out the effects. Or reshape your body again."
Hu Tao opened her mouth to argue, but suddenly—
"Drink, Nozarashi!"
Beside them, Beidou's eyes snapped open.
BOOM!
An explosive roar shook the shop.
The slender katana in Beidou's hand transformed instantly. The sleek metal swelled and warped, erupting into a colossal, jagged cleaver that smashed through the air. The blade was so massive it nearly filled the shop, its tip crashing through the doorway and out into the street.
Simultaneously, a terrifying aura exploded from Beidou's body. Purple lightning crackled around her, snapping and popping like a storm contained in human flesh.
"Holy crap!"
Outside the door, the Millelith guards, Doyle and Wenqi, stared in jaw-dropping horror.
A gigantic blade had just thrust itself out of the shop, churning up dust and debris.
"What the hell is that?! Is that a knife?!"
"What's happening in there? Who's opening jars?"
"That... that's a sword, right? Where did a sword that big come from? That's insane!"
"I saw Captain Beidou go in earlier!"
"Seriously? The Crux Captain is in Liyue?"
"Use your eyes, idiot! That aura... that's definitely her!"
"Is that the weapon she pulled? It's huge!"
Passersby stopped dead in their tracks, eyes wide as copper bells. The sheer size of the weapon jutting out of the shop was defying logic. How could a human even lift that?
Felix: "..."
Inside the shop, Felix's mouth twitched.
Maybe I shouldn't have told her to communicate with it right here.
At least she hadn't destroyed the structural integrity of the shop. Just the doorframe... mostly.
Hu Tao stared, her own predicament momentarily forgotten. She saw Beidou standing there like a god of war, and beside her, Xiangling looking equally stunned.
"Hahahaha! This weapon is good! This weapon is fantastic!"
Beidou laughed heartily, hoisting the massive cleaver onto her shoulder with ease.
The design suited her perfectly. Brutal. Rough. Powerful.
To anyone else, it would be impossibly heavy. But to her, its master, it felt right. She could swing it as easily as a twig.
Through her communion with the sword's spirit, she understood its nature. It hungered for battle. And so did she.
She was itching to find a sea monster right now and test its edge.
"That... that's a really big knife," Qianyan swallowed hard. "I can't believe the Captain can lift it."
"It changed so much... it was just a thin katana a second ago," Furong stammered. "Just the weight of that thing could crush a person to death."
"This sword is perfect for me. Thank you, Shopkeeper!"
Beidou turned to Felix, her grin wide and genuine. "If not for you, I never would have found such a partner."
She knew the jars were luck-based, but Felix was the one providing the opportunity.
"It's all your own luck," Felix smiled, shaking his head. "Do you wish to continue, Captain? You've bought five jars, so you have five left for the week."
"Of course!"
Beidou slammed another stack of Mora onto the counter. "Five more!"
If five jars gave her a god-slaying sword, she'd be a fool to stop now.
As she spoke, the massive cleaver in her hand shrank, reverting to its sealed, slender katana form.
"Incredible," Qianyan marveled, leaning in to inspect the reverted blade. "It looks so elegant now. The contrast is amazing."
"Yeah," Xiangling nodded, recovering from her shock. "Beidou's weapon seems even better than my spear."
"Eh? Hu Tao!"
Xiangling's gaze shifted, and she finally noticed the funeral director standing nearby.
"You're here!"
Xiangling ran toward her friend with open arms.
"Don't!"
Hu Tao's face went red. If Xiangling hugged her, she'd feel the difference.
But it was too late.
"Gotcha! I haven't settled the score with you yet! You stood me up last night!"
Xiangling bear-hugged Hu Tao, pinching her cheek playfully. "I was going to let you play with my new items, and you ghosted me! Not cool!"
"I had urgent business at the Parlor!" Hu Tao laughed nervously, trying to squirm away. "Don't be mad! I'll show you my pulls later! I got a Soul Staff and a Fire Dragon Egg!"
Just thinking about the Papaya Milk made her blush again.
"Eh?"
Mid-hug, Xiangling froze. She felt something... pressing against her. Something that definitely wasn't there before.
She looked down instinctively.
"Wh... y-you... how did you get so big?!"
Xiangling stammered, staring at Hu Tao's chest in disbelief.
"Shut up!"
Hu Tao puffed out her cheeks, her plum-blossom eyes flashing with shame.
She noticed!
"That's amazing..." Xiangling whispered, her brain short-circuiting. Without thinking, she reached out to poke, just to confirm reality.
"Xiangling!"
Hu Tao swatted her hand away. "What are you doing?!"
"I... I was just shocked." Xiangling laughed sheepishly, retreating.
"It came from a jar," Hu Tao hissed, glaring at her friend. "I drank something, and this happened. The Shopkeeper says he can't fix it yet. I have to wait for a counter-item."
She looked genuinely distressed. "I hate it. It's heavy."
"Why fix it?" Xiangling tilted her head, confused. "That's a good thing!"
Hu Tao: "..."
She stared at Xiangling dead in the eye. "If you think it's such a good thing, I can give you the rest so you can become like this."
Xiangling: "..."
"No, no, no!"
Xiangling shook her head violently like a rattle drum. "I don't want that! I'm not used to it! It would get in the way of cooking!"
"Heh." Hu Tao smirked coldly. "Thought so."
Their bickering caught Beidou's attention.
"Hello there," Beidou greeted warmly. "Director Hu Tao of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, I presume? Pleasure to meet you."
She had heard of the eccentric director but never met her.
"Hello, Beidou!"
Hu Tao's demeanor instantly switched back to her cheerful public persona. "Beidou is a celebrity in Liyue! I've wanted to be friends for a long time!"
She extended her hand, shaking Beidou's vigorously. "Are you here to open jars too?"
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