A month passed after Adam's death.A month since my little conversation with Lucifer.A month of silence — the kind that lets your thoughts eat themselves alive.
I decided to go to the surface.
I hate it up here.The air feels wrong.The light feels hostile.And every step I take feels like I'm defiling something pure — especially now that I've awakened.
I dream less.Feel less.Breathe less.
And Jester… wasn't around.
Maybe that's why I feel gloomier than usual.Funny — the "Sin of Madness" has become the closest thing I have to emotional stability.
Truth is, I never saw Jester as evil.Not even after everything he's done.He's just a man who will crawl, manipulate, kill, torture, or burn anything to make his dream real.I can't blame him for that.
The one to blame is me.
When Adam died — when I killed him — Jester didn't manipulate me as much as everyone thinks.Deep down, some part of me wanted him gone.Wanted that old version of me to die with him.
Anyway.Walking on the surface felt wrong.My hair had grown longer and turned half-white like some senile old man.My clothes were torn, soaked in stale blood, all black and unfitting.People stared at me like I was homeless.
Maybe I am.
My family is dead.My home burned the moment I returned — just like I burned that tree around the park Except this time, the fire didn't bring relief.Not even a little.
I feel empty.Utterly empty.No identity.No home.No purpose.Honestly, maybe I never had any of that to begin with.But after eating my mother's soul, something in me shifted.Not just my hair.Not just my eyes.Something deeper.
Some of you might ask:
"Then why come to the surface at all?"
There wasn't a reason.Not a noble one.I just wanted to visit Adam's grave.
Jester buried him somewhere quiet before he vanished — buried him next to his mother and my father, or so Envy and Lust said.
I didn't come to grieve.I killed him.I don't get to grieve.
I came because…I hoped Jester would be there.
His home feels like a corpse when he's gone.
I lit a cigarette and stared at Adam's gravestone.I wanted to say something but what's the point?According to Lucifer, Adam isn't even dead.He's alive in Heaven — and he'll come for me and Jester eventually.
Knowing that…It relieved me.
Yeah.I'm really messed up.
I laughed while looking at his grave.A pathetic, broken laugh.People stared with pity — or fear — but they weren't wrong.I've lost something I won't get back.
I whispered to Adam's, my father's, and Elizabeth's graves — voice dripping with wickedness:
"Hello there. I'm the monster who killed all of you. I know it's rude for me to visit, but I'm a monster, aren't I? You all said it yourselves."
I sighed.
"I don't know if any of you deserved your fates. And maybe I paid for it more than anyone. But I'm no god to decide who was wronged. We were all victims of my mother's doing."
I smirked.
"But I still loved her more than any of you."
I spat on their graves and walked toward my mother's.
The funny part?She used her true name and form when she married my father and gave birth to me.Always dramatic, that woman.
Then I sensed it — that familiar cocktail of wickedness and madness.
Jester.
"You finally came," he said, stepping out from behind a tree. "I thought you'd keep me waiting."
I turned, smiled genuinely."Thought so too."
He shrieked."Wait— you're smiling? And you're not mad at me? Also, why is your hair uglier than usual?"
I laughed — deeply, honestly.
"Why would I be mad at you, Jester? And my hair… let's call it a gift from my mother."
He laughed back."You really are a weird one, Sammail."
We walked side by side under the sun.
"Don't you think the sun is evil, Jester?" I asked.
He smirked."How so?"
I looked up at the glaring sky.
"The moon hides the ugliness of the world. But when the sun rises, everything becomes visible. No one can hide."
Jester's smirk softened into a sad smile.
"Your mother said something similar."
I raised an eyebrow."Did she? Strange for you to remember such meaningless things. You miss her, don't you?"
He laughed darkly.
"So Lucifer told you everything… I see."
I looked into his eyes.Into his soul.
Dark.Shattered.Twisted — even more than mine.
"No one knows everything," I said quietly. "Not even Lucifer. We just pretend we do."
Jester smiled.
"You looked at my soul, didn't you? Yours is just as rotten. You've changed, my friend."
"So," I asked, "did I turn out how you wanted?"
He shook his head.
"Not really."Then he grinned."But I like you more this way."