Kakashi's swirl of leaves hadn't even finished falling before Naruto was already shouting after him.
"DON'T EAT BREAKFAST, HE SAYS… TCH!"
His voice bounced off the rooftop, but the jounin was long gone.
Sakura sighed. "You're too loud."
Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets and headed for the stairs without a word.
Naruto watched them go, then scowled at the empty spot where Kakashi had been.
"Survival test, huh…" he muttered. "I'll show that lazy scarecrow what I can do, dattebayo."
The ghostly number floated in front of his eyes, bright and full.
10000
He snorted at it and tromped down the stairs, out of the Academy, and through the village toward home.
---
By the time he reached his apartment, the sky was deep orange again.
He kicked the door open, let it slam behind him, and dropped face-first onto his mattress. His headband dug into his forehead; he didn't bother to take it off.
"Real genin test… survival thing… only a few pass…" he mumbled into the pillow.
He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
"I won't fail," he told the cracks. "I just got this headband. No way I'm going back to the Academy."
The number floated above him, calm.
10000
His thoughts drifted to Shadow Clones. To Mizuki buried under a storm of Narutos. To Iruka's voice shouting, "He's my student!"
His hand curled into a fist over his chest.
"…I'll beat whatever test he throws at us," he said quietly. "With my own power."
For a second, the Everything Stop Thingy flickered at the edge of his thoughts—how easy it would be to freeze some test and walk through it.
He remembered how it felt at 1000 chakra. Jelly legs. Pounding head. The world slipping when he pushed too far.
He grimaced.
"Not tomorrow," he decided. "No freezing. Just me."
The number glowed quietly, like it agreed.
He kicked off his sandals, dragged the blanket over himself without really aiming, and let his eyes close. The chakra number stayed full and steady as his breathing slowed and sleep pulled him under.
---
The alarm clock screamed.
"GAAAH—!"
Naruto flailed, knocked it off the crate, and grabbed it off the floor, squinting at the hands.
"Five already?!"
He shot upright, hair sticking everywhere, blanket tangled around one ankle.
The number floated sharp and bright.
10000
He scrambled into his clothes, tightened his headband, and dashed to the door. His hand hit the knob—then his stomach growled so loud it echoed.
Kakashi's lazy voice drifted back in his memory.
"Don't eat breakfast. You'll just throw it up."
Naruto stared at his nearly empty kitchen.
"…He's always late anyway," he muttered. "I'll just have a tiny bit. I'll die before I throw up."
The fridge groaned when he opened it. Inside: a couple of instant ramen cups he didn't have time to cook, and a lonely carton of milk.
He grabbed the milk and took a long swig straight from the carton.
It tasted… wrong.
He swallowed, made a face, and squinted at the small print.
"'Best before'… uh… whatever. No time."
He shoved the carton back in, slammed the fridge, and bolted out the door.
Halfway down the street, his stomach lurched like something had kicked it from inside.
He staggered.
"Urgh… stupid milk…"
The chakra number floated in front of his eyes, completely unbothered.
10000
"Traitor," he hissed at it, and kept running.
---
Sakura and Sasuke were already at Training Ground Three when he stumbled into the clearing.
Sakura spun on him. "You're late!"
Naruto bent over, hands on his knees, face a little green. "T-tactical… entrance…" he wheezed. "Sensei's… definitely later than me…"
Sasuke eyed him. "You look sick."
Naruto straightened by pure stubbornness, slapped his cheeks, and forced a grin.
"I'm fine!" he lied. His stomach twisted again. "Totally… fine…"
The number still said:
10000
At least something was at full power.
They waited.
The gray sky brightened to pale blue, then proper morning. Birds chirped. Sakura fidgeted. Sasuke glared at a random tree. Naruto alternated between lying facedown like a corpse and hopping around trying to "warm up."
Every time his stomach clenched, he swore never to drink milk again.
Time crawled.
Finally, a familiar tired voice spoke from behind them.
"Yo."
They turned.
Kakashi stood at the edge of the field, hands in his pockets, posture relaxed like he'd just woken up from a nap.
Naruto exploded. "YOU'RE LATE! The sun's already had breakfast!"
Kakashi eyed him lazily. "My path was blocked by… a black cat."
Naruto's jaw dropped. "THAT'S NOT EVEN—"
"And," Kakashi added, "you smell like spoiled milk."
Naruto choked. "W-what—"
Sakura scooted a discreet step away. Sasuke's nose wrinkled a fraction.
Kakashi clapped his hands once, softly.
"Alright," he said. "Let's begin."
He reached into his pouch and pulled out two small silver bells. They chimed quietly in the morning air.
Naruto stared. "Oi, there's only two."
Kakashi tied the bells to his belt.
"Correct," he said cheerfully. "There are three of you and two bells. That means at least one of you will fail and be sent back to the Academy."
Sakura stiffened. "Sent… back…?"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed.
Naruto's hands tightened into fists. "No way… I just got my headband…"
Kakashi set a kitchen timer on a nearby post.
"You have until noon," he said. "Your mission is to take these bells from me. You can use any jutsu or tools you like."
He paused, eye turning sharper.
"One more thing," he added. "If you don't come at me with the intent to kill, you won't stand a chance."
Naruto's throat went dry.
His stomach growled.
The chakra number floated steady and bright.
10000
He bared his teeth in a grin anyway.
"Heh. Easy," he said. "I'll just grab both bells myself. Then I'll be the only one who passes!"
Sakura smacked him on the back of the head. "Idiot! You don't even know how strong he is!"
Sasuke clicked his tongue. "You talk big for dead last."
Naruto glared. "Shut up, teme!"
Kakashi opened a small orange book, completely ignoring the shouting.
"Begin," he said.
Sakura and Sasuke vanished into the trees in two quick blurs, instincts kicking in.
Naruto stayed exactly where he was.
"I'm not running away!" he yelled. "I'll take you head-on and show you how awesome I am, dattebayo!"
Kakashi turned a page.
"You're supposed to say that after you show it," he said.
Naruto slapped his hands together, feeling his chakra surge like a huge wave. The number flared in his vision.
He grabbed a big chunk without thinking carefully.
10000 → 5000
(Shadow Clone Jutsu: chakra split evenly with one clone)
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Smoke burst beside him. Another Naruto popped out, exact same green face, one hand on his stomach.
"Ugh, that milk was a terrible idea," the clone groaned.
"Shut up! Move!" the original barked.
They rushed Kakashi from opposite sides, fists flying.
Kakashi didn't even lift his eye from the book.
He tilted his head just enough to let Naruto's punch sail past, caught the clone's wrist with one hand, and twisted.
"Too slow," he said mildly.
A moment later, Naruto found himself flipped onto his back. The clone hit a tree and popped into smoke.
Chakra rushed back into him in a dizzy swirl.
For Naruto, it just felt like a weird snap in his gut. The number jumped in front of his eyes.
5000 → 10000
Naruto groaned, forcing himself up. "Y-you didn't even look!"
"You shouted your jutsu name at full volume and ran in a straight line," Kakashi replied. "Even academy instructors could dodge that."
Naruto's cheeks burned.
"Fine!" he spat. "Then I'll just use more!"
This time he darted into the trees instead of charging straight in, crashing through branches until he tumbled behind a bush.
He flopped down to catch his breath.
(a tiny twitch upward as he stayed still for a bit)
He peeked through the leaves. Kakashi still stood in the clearing, book open again, bells glinting at his hip.
Naruto scowled.
"Okay… okay, rushing like an idiot is bad," he muttered. "He's crazy strong… but he's just one guy. If I use clones smart…"
He grabbed his hands together again, this time forcing himself to pull less.
10000 → 9000
(–1000 chakra: Shadow Clone Jutsu, small batch of weaker clones)
Four Narutos puffed into existence beside him, crouched in the bushes.
"Hehe!" one grinned. "Round two!"
Another poked his own stomach. "Do we come with the bad milk too?"
"Shut up," the original hissed. "Listen. We're gonna attack from all sides. One from above, one from behind, one from the ground, one straight on. Got it?"
They all nodded, faces serious for once.
They crept through the brush, splitting up, circling the clearing as quietly as they could. Which wasn't very, but it was better than nothing.
When Naruto felt—more than knew—that everyone was in position, he burst from the bushes, yelling.
"RAAAH! TAKE THIS!"
He threw a flurry of kunai.
Kakashi sighed, slipped the book away, and flicked his own kunai up. Steel rang against steel as he deflected each one.
"Too obvious," he said.
Behind him, one clone sprang from the ground, arms locking around his legs. Another dropped from a branch, reaching for the bells. The last clone charged from behind, aiming a kick.
For a heartbeat, Naruto's heart leapt.
We got him—
"Substitution Jutsu," Kakashi said calmly.
There was a puff of smoke.
The clone grabbing his legs suddenly hugged a log.
"Huh?!"
Naruto blinked. "Where'd he—"
A breath brushed the back of his neck.
"Right behind you," Kakashi's voice said.
Naruto went rigid.
He didn't have to turn to feel it: Kakashi behind him, crouched, two fingers pointed in a way that made every instinct in his body scream danger.
"This is my original technique," Kakashi said conversationally. "One Thousand Years of Death."
Naruto's brain caught exactly three things:
"Behind."
"Death."
"And those fingers were way too close to his butt."
"NOPE—STOP!" he yelped.
He didn't mean the jutsu. He meant everything.
The world listened.
Sound vanished. Leaves froze mid-rustle. Even Kakashi's fingers hung an inch away from his backside, not moving.
The number in front of Naruto's eyes flashed bright and hard.
9000 → 6000
(–3000 chakra as the world shuddered into a three-second freeze)
Naruto panted, eyes wide.
"…Eh…?"
He risked the tiniest look over his shoulder.
Kakashi was frozen in the exact motion of jabbing, mask, hitai-ate, and all, his pose perfectly rude and perfectly stuck.
Naruto shuddered.
"T-too close! Way too close!" he hissed.
He didn't have time to think, or count, or really understand what he'd just burned. His body moved on panic alone.
He jumped out of Kakashi's line, circled behind the frozen jounin, and copied the pose as best he could, hands together, two fingers pointed.
"He called it… 'Thousand Years' thing, right?" Naruto muttered, sweat running down his face. "Fine! Take this—"
He grinned wildly.
"1000 YEARS OF DEATH!"
The world snapped back.
Kakashi's body jerked into motion… right as Naruto's double-finger poke slammed into his backside from behind.
There was a THWACK and a puff of smoke.
Naruto's hand hit nothing but air.
"Eh—?!"
The Kakashi he'd just "1000 Years'd" vanished, dissolving into smoke that washed over his face.
"A clone…?"
The real voice came from below him.
"Not bad," Kakashi said. "You dodged."
Naruto barely had time to look down.
A hand burst from the ground and grabbed his ankle.
"Earth-Style: Headhunter Jutsu," Kakashi finished.
Naruto yelped as he was yanked down. The dirt swallowed him up in an instant. In seconds, he was buried up to his chin, the world turning into packed earth around everything except his head.
His clones popped one after another in a chain of soft booms, chakra snapping back.
The number lurched and settled.
6000 → 6400
(+400 from the four weak clones dispelling)
Naruto's heart still hammered from the near-miss. His legs felt shaky, even though they couldn't move.
Kakashi crouched in front of his stuck head, one eye a lazy curve.
"At least you tried something unexpected," he said. "Can't say I've seen anyone turn my own move around like that before. Shame you hit a clone."
Naruto strained uselessly against the dirt.
"L-let me out! This isn't fair!" he snapped, face red. "And keep your hands away from my butt!"
"A ninja must think before charging," Kakashi said. "You don't think. You just yell, jump, and apparently panic-dodge."
"I do think!" Naruto shot back. "I thought extra hard this time! I even… uh… did a thing…"
He glanced at the number drifting in front of his eyes.
6400
It had dropped hard, and he felt it now—tired in a way that didn't match how much he'd actually moved.
Kakashi's eye flattened. "Terrifying."
He stood up, turning away.
"Why didn't you talk to your teammates first?" he asked. "You really think you can do everything alone?"
Naruto stared at the grass he could barely see.
"Because I'm gonna get the bells myself," he muttered. "Then everyone'll see I'm not a loser."
"…I see," Kakashi said quietly. "You really don't understand."
He walked off into the trees.
"Try not to suffocate," he added over his shoulder. "It'd be irritating if you failed because you panicked in dirt."
Naruto gaped.
"GET BACK HERE AND SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU STUPID SCARECROW!" he howled.
Kakashi was already gone.
Naruto jerked and strained and wriggled furiously. Clods crumbled. Dirt shifted. Powered mostly by rage and stubbornness, he eventually dragged himself out until he flopped onto the grass, gasping.
The number had nudged up from the little pauses where he had to stop and pant.
6400 → 6600
He lay on his back, staring up at the clouds.
"Stupid test… stupid sensei… stupid everything…"
The thought of freezing the whole field again, walking over, and plucking the bells flickered across his mind.
He glared at the number.
6600
A full freeze would eat chakra like crazy. If he misjudged and dropped near that ugly 1000, he'd be useless again.
He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Nah," he muttered. "I'm not using that again. Not for this. I'll beat him my way…"
He rolled over and crawled back into the bushes to lick his wounds and watch what happened next.
From his hiding place, he saw Sakura fall into a horrifying genjutsu: Sasuke crushed, blood, a graveyard. Her scream made his heart jump into his throat before he realized it wasn't real.
He saw the real Sasuke later: fast, sharp, fire roaring from his lungs. For a moment, Kakashi actually moved like he meant it, dodging and countering.
Naruto watched with a mix of jealousy and grudging respect.
"Damn…" he whispered. "He really is cool…"
His fists clenched in the grass.
"I'll catch up," he promised under his breath. "I'll pass you, teme. Just watch."
While he stayed still and watched, his chakra kept quietly ticking up.
6600 → 6900 → 7200
---
Eventually, the kitchen timer rang.
Kakashi brought them back to the clearing.
Naruto ended up tied tightly to one training post, rope digging into his wrists. Sasuke sat against another, arms loosely bound. Sakura knelt nearby, still shaken.
Kakashi stood in front of them, bells still jingling on his belt.
"Well," he said. "None of you managed to get a bell."
Naruto twisted in the ropes. "Your traps were stupid!"
Sakura's shoulders sagged. "We… failed…"
Sasuke stared at the ground, jaw tight.
Kakashi's visible eye cooled.
"You fell for simple tricks," he said. "You rushed in alone. You ignored each other. You let pride and fear lead instead of your heads."
His gaze lingered on Naruto at "pride."
Naruto looked away, teeth clenched.
The chakra number hovered in front of his eyes.
7200
He'd had plenty left. It hadn't mattered.
Kakashi reached into a bag and set three lunch boxes on a rock. The smell of food floated over on the breeze.
Naruto's stomach howled like a beast.
"You two can eat," Kakashi said, nodding to Sakura and Sasuke. "Naruto can't. He broke my instructions and ate breakfast."
Naruto's head snapped up. "H-hey! That was just a little—"
"Those are the rules," Kakashi said. "Anyone who feeds Naruto… fails instantly. All of you will go back to the Academy."
Sakura sucked in a breath. Sasuke's eyes flicked to the food, then away.
A moment later, Kakashi vanished in a puff of leaves, leaving them alone.
The smell of rice and meat hit Naruto like a punch. His stomach growled again.
The number drifted up a bit.
7200 → 7300
Sakura picked up her chopsticks with shaking hands.
"N-Naruto…" she said. "We can't. You heard him…"
Naruto forced a grin that showed too many teeth.
"I-it's fine!" he lied. "I'm super tough! I don't even like food! I can totally go without! Ha ha… ha…"
His stomach practically screamed.
Sasuke watched him, face unreadable.
Silence stretched.
This sucks, Naruto thought. I failed the test. I didn't get a bell. I got buried, almost butt-stabbed, and now I can't even eat…
His chest hurt more than his stomach.
Iruka's words drifted through his head again.
"Naruto isn't the fox. He's my student."
He clenched his fists against the ropes.
He looked at Sakura and Sasuke, at the lunches they weren't touching.
"Oi," he said, voice rough but trying to sound cocky. "You two better eat. You'll need your strength when we're all back in the Academy."
Sakura jerked. "Don't say that!"
Naruto shrugged as much as he could.
"If one of us passes alone, that's lame anyway," he said. "I wanna be on a squad. So if we're failing, we're failing together, dattebayo."
The words surprised him a little, even as they came out.
He grinned wider.
"Besides," he added. "I'll just catch up and blow past you losers later."
Sakura stared at him.
Her grip on the chopsticks tightened.
"…Idiot…" she muttered. "You say something kinda cool and then ruin it…"
Sasuke snorted quietly, looking away.
The number nudged up one tiny step.
7300 → 7400
Sasuke clicked his tongue and grabbed a lunch box.
"Tch. This is annoying," he said.
He walked over and held a piece of food up to Naruto's mouth.
Naruto's eyes went huge.
"W-wait! Kakashi said—"
"Shut up," Sasuke said. "You'll just slow us down if you're starving."
Sakura bit her lip, then grabbed her own lunch box and shuffled closer.
"I-I'm not doing it for Naruto," she mumbled. "It's just… we're a team now. If we have to fight again… we should all be able to move…"
Her hands trembled as she held out a rice ball.
Naruto looked from their faces to the food.
His eyes stung.
"…Thanks," he said quietly.
He opened his mouth.
The food was simple. It tasted like heaven anyway.
The chakra number edged up.
7400 → 7500
They fed him in quick, guilty little bites, glancing around like Kakashi might drop out of the sky.
Which he did.
"Yo," Kakashi said, appearing behind them in a puff of leaves.
Sakura yelped and dropped the rice ball. Sasuke froze. Naruto nearly choked.
Kakashi stared at them.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
No one answered at first.
Then Naruto swallowed hard and blurted, "It was me! I told them to! Don't blame them, just send me back to the Academy, dattebayo!"
Sakura shook her head. "N-no, I helped too!"
Sasuke snorted. "If we're failing, we're failing together. That's all."
They all stared back at Kakashi, bracing for him to explode.
He didn't.
He sighed instead.
His eye curved in a way Naruto hadn't seen before—soft and… maybe proud.
"Congratulations," Kakashi said.
Naruto blinked. "…Huh?"
Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Those who break the rules are scum," he said. "But those who abandon their comrades…"
For a second, his eye hardened, far away.
"…are worse than scum."
The words hung over the clearing.
Naruto stared up at him.
"You three… pass," Kakashi finished. "From today, Team Seven is official."
Sakura gasped. "We… we passed…?"
Sasuke looked away, but the tiniest bit of tension left his shoulders.
Naruto's grin exploded across his face.
"Hehehe… we did it…" he laughed. "W