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Chapter 197 - Come or Not Come

The morning sunlight streamed through the glass windows, pooling across the empty classroom floor. Shiina Hiyori arrived at the Class C room alone, just as she always did.

Within this class, Shiina Hiyori had always been something of an oddity. She had no one she was particularly close to, and knew relatively few people. She helped out here and there when the class organized study sessions — lending a hand to classmates who were struggling academically, getting them ready for midterms — but beyond that, she spent most of her time in the classroom on her own. She loved to read, though no one in Class C seemed to share that interest.

It was still early. Apart from her, the classroom was completely empty.

Out of habit, she set her bag gently on the chair beside her, then carefully drew the zipper open and pulled out a thick, hardcover book.

Her slender, pale fingers drifted across the cover with unmistakable care — this was a novel her father had written, and it wasn't something she normally brought to school.

She slowly turned to the first page. Nestled between the leaves was a bookmark so exquisitely made it was impossible not to love.

The bookmark was illustrated with a chibi version of Shiina Hiyori herself.

Silky silver-white hair cascading softly down. A pair of violet eyes, vivid and gentle. A small book cradled in her arms, and at the corner of her lips, a faint, serene little smile.

Utterly, devastatingly adorable.

Shiina Hiyori lifted the bookmark and held it up before her eyes, studying it carefully. In those amethyst-clear irises of hers, a warmth she couldn't quite hide flickered through — something soft, something longing.

It was a gift.

A gift from Shikime Natsu... one that she treasured more than almost anything else she owned.

And yet, the moment her thoughts turned to Shikime Natsu, the quiet calm she had been holding onto began to ripple apart.

Her mind drifted, unbidden, back to the day before yesterday.

That afternoon, the classroom had suddenly erupted into animated discussion about Shikime Natsu. Though he wasn't a Class C student, he had already become something of a legend throughout the entirety of Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School — a name everyone knew.

His tennis skills. His claw machine mastery. His top ranking on the school's looks chart. And just recently, his victory over Nagumo Miyabi, the Student Council Vice President, in an open challenge. Shikime Natsu had outshone everyone, and there was no one in the entire school — teacher, student, or otherwise — who hadn't heard his name.

It was, frankly, a terrifying level of influence for someone who had only been enrolled for just over a month.

Whenever anyone brought up Shikime Natsu, the word "incredible" was never far behind. Even Ryuuen Kakeru, who had initially set his sights on beating Shikime Natsu outright, had eventually — for reasons no one quite understood — let it go.

And then, two days ago.

While she was reading, Shiina Hiyori had overheard something by accident. A group of girls had gathered nearby, talking without any particular effort to keep their voices down. Even without leaning in, she could hear every word perfectly clearly.

The topic they were so animated about: Shikime Natsu and Class A's Kamuro Masumi — specifically, how suspiciously close the two of them had been getting. Some of the girls were already speculating that the two of them might actually be dating.

At first, not many people believed it.

After all, while Shikime Natsu did get along well with plenty of girls, it was precisely because he got along so well with so many of them that it was hard to imagine him actually committing to any one person.

So it didn't take long for someone to push back:

"Oh come on, it's probably just a rumor, right? Maybe Shiki-san just went out somewhere with her and the others? That kind of thing happens all the time."

But the girl who had broken the news shot that down immediately, her voice firm and certain:

"No way! My friend saw it with her own eyes! Shiki-san was holding that girl's hand — fingers interlocked and everything! They looked super close! If they were just normal friends, there's no way that kind of physical contact would happen, right? Shiki-san is always so careful about keeping his distance!"

At those words, Shiina Hiyori — who had been pretending to read all this time — felt her fingers tighten almost imperceptibly against the pages of her book.

...That was true.

As someone who frequently read alongside Shikime Natsu in the library, who had even been to his dormitory room to learn how to cook — Shiina Hiyori knew this better than anyone.

Shikime Natsu might seem easygoing and warm on the surface, but when it came to interactions with girls, he always maintained a perfectly calibrated kind of distance — close enough to feel comfortable, but never intrusive.

He rarely initiated physical contact with others.

And holding hands — especially interlaced fingers — was a gesture laden with meaning. For him to do that willingly...

That really did say quite a lot.

And apparently, the girl whose hand he had been holding — her name was Kamuro Masumi.

Kamuro Masumi...

That name was not unfamiliar to Shiina Hiyori.

She was one of the few people who had also visited Shikime Natsu's dormitory room.

Shiina Hiyori still remembered: during one of those chance encounters, the girl with long purple hair and a rather cool, detached air about her had been sitting casually on Shikime Natsu's bed as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

That image had left a lasting impression.

Because — that was a boy's bed.

Even if every chair in the room were taken, Shiina Hiyori herself would never simply sit down on a boy's bed without a second thought. It was too forward. Too... ambiguous.

Although...

If it were Shikime Natsu's bed, perhaps she might make an exception.

But only if he explicitly said it was alright. Without that, she would never cross that line.

Kamuro Masumi's easy, natural manner, however — that clearly spoke to a relationship that was anything but ordinary.

Now that she thought back on it...

Everything seemed to have been pointing somewhere all along.

The moment those thoughts connected, Shiina Hiyori's expression grew faintly complicated.

Something strange stirred in her chest.

Was it bitterness? Disappointment? Or was it something that could only be called jealousy?

That feeling — uncomfortable, suffocating — was deeply unfamiliar to a girl who normally kept her heart as still as a mountain lake. It was like a ball of cotton lodged in her chest, thick and heavy, making it hard to breathe.

And when her gaze fell once more on that adorable chibi bookmark beside her — the sensation only intensified.

"...Hah."

Shiina Hiyori let out a small, quiet sigh.

She reached out a finger and gently traced the outline of that tiny chibi version of herself, wearing a look of perfect, untroubled happiness.

No matter how many times she looked at it, she adored this bookmark deeply.

It was a gift Shikime Natsu had given her not long ago — drawn entirely by his own hand, imbued with his own feelings.

And yet...

That contradiction in her heart made the ache only worse.

If Shikime Natsu really did have a girlfriend now...

Then... should she be keeping a more appropriate distance from him?

That was the most honest, innermost thought of a girl who had been raised with good manners and who always tried to put herself in other people's shoes.

After all, Shikime Natsu was taken now.

If she tried to see things from Kamuro Masumi's perspective... if she found out that her boyfriend spent his days hanging around other cute girls, even spending time alone with them...

That would sting. It would make anyone jealous.

And that was not an outcome Shiina Hiyori wanted to be responsible for.

She had no desire to be the person who came between two people in a relationship.

And so, over the two days since she'd heard the news —

Shiina Hiyori had not done what she usually did. She hadn't stopped by Shikime Natsu's dormitory room at dinnertime, using the excuse of learning to cook as a reason to spend a little more time with him.

She had chosen avoidance instead.

She had chosen restraint.

Shiina Hiyori drew a long, slow breath, forcing the tangled thoughts back down.

She steadied herself and tried to redirect her attention to the book in front of her.

The written word was her greatest refuge.

When she was lost in the world of a book, every worry would melt away... or so it should have been.

But no matter how hard she tried, her gaze kept drifting — drawn helplessly back to the bookmark tucked among the pages.

Her heart refused to settle.

That hollow, empty feeling — like losing something that had quietly become essential to her — wouldn't leave.

If she didn't go to find Shikime Natsu...

If she didn't see him...

Her heart, it turned out, was not nearly as peaceful as she'd believed.

Shiina Hiyori suddenly rose to her feet and walked quickly out of the classroom.

She made her way to the sink down the hall, turned on the tap, and splashed a handful of cold water over her face.

The chill against her skin snapped her alert, cooling the slight feverishness that had crept into her mind.

She raised her head.

In the mirror, a girl looked back at her — droplets of water trailing slowly down her cheeks.

And once again, Shiina Hiyori found herself thinking back over the past month and more — over everything she and Shikime Natsu had shared.

The quiet, unhurried hours spent together in the library.

The pleasant conversations about books and cooking.

The way his eyes always seemed to carry a gentle smile, as if they could hold the whole world without judgment.

It had only been a little over a month.

And yet...

Why did it feel as though she had known him for years and years?

She had grown used to having Shikime Natsu nearby. Used to that soft warmth, that wordless ease between them.

Used to...

That fixed reading time every Wednesday afternoon.

"Wednesday..."

Shiina Hiyori murmured quietly to herself. That's right.

Today... wasn't it Wednesday?

Which meant that after school this afternoon, it was their standing reading appointment.

Except...

Everything was completely different now.

If Shikime Natsu had already started dating Kamuro Masumi, then... would he still show up, the same as always?

Or...

If he did come — how was she supposed to face him?

Should she pretend nothing had changed, carrying on as friends like nothing was different?

Or... should she be the one to create distance, for everyone's sake?

Or...

Should she simply not go to the library today at all? Deliberately miss the time so their paths wouldn't cross?

If she didn't go, there'd be no awkward encounter. No tangled feelings to wade through.

Her thoughts were a hopeless knot, and the knot was giving her a headache.

Her rational mind told her clearly: Shikime Natsu had a girlfriend now. For the sake of avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings, for everyone's dignity, she should stop imposing on him.

Even if...

Even if, somewhere deep inside her, what she held for that boy was a feeling she could only call longing.

That feeling had never once been spoken aloud. But in this moment, it presented itself to her with startling, undeniable clarity.

What a shame, though...

Was it over before it had even had a chance to begin?

She lowered her eyes. Her long lashes trembled faintly, veiling the quiet dejection stirring beneath them.

Even knowing that Shikime Natsu having multiple girlfriends — building a harem of sorts — was, by all accounts, entirely plausible... as the person standing at the center of it all herself, she couldn't simply make peace with that. Not so easily. Shiina Hiyori mostly read mystery novels, but even the heart of a girl who lived among books held a quiet wish for a love that was hers alone — a partner who belonged to no one else, shared with no one else. A love she wouldn't have to divide.

Her sense of possessiveness was no small thing. If anything, it ran quite deep. She simply never let it show — never gave it voice — because expressing it felt like trying to control Shikime Natsu's feelings, and that wasn't who she wanted to be.

And so, in those days after she had quietly recognized her own heart, Shiina Hiyori had continued to act perfectly normal around him. She had gone on waiting...

Waiting for Shikime Natsu to give her an answer that would make her heart leap.

But hope, she was learning, had a way of collapsing without warning. Just like now — Shikime Natsu was already with Kamuro Masumi.

And she... was still just a friend.

Nothing more.

And so, carrying that tangled, aching weight within her chest, Shiina Hiyori made her way through a long and oddly distracted day.

The lessons seemed to pass through her without leaving any trace. Whatever the teachers said drifted in one ear and out the other.

Until, at last, the bell rang to signal the end of the school day.

When she came back to herself —

Her feet had carried her, without any conscious decision, straight to the familiar entrance of the library.

She stood before the closed doors, book clutched tightly to her chest.

If...

If she pushed open this door and walked inside right now...

Would she... find Shikime Natsu there?

In that moment, the girl's heart was gripped by a fierce, trembling uncertainty — tangled up with something else she didn't quite dare acknowledge even to herself.

Maybe...

It would be better to turn around and leave. To not go in at all.

That way, she could cut off completely those thoughts she had no right to have, and return to the solitary world of books that had always been hers.

But...

From somewhere deep in her chest, that fierce, unnamed feeling — the one that could only be called reluctance to let go — reached out like an invisible hand at her back and gave her a gentle push.

Urging her...

To take that one step forward. And slowly, she pushed open the library door.

Because if...

If Shikime Natsu really did show up again today...

If he still remembered this promise of theirs...

Then...

The girl quietly made a decision in her heart.

She would not let go.

Even if Shikime Natsu had someone in his life now — even so... she did not want to lose him.

On the other hand...

If he didn't come...

Then perhaps that was the answer fate had decided to give her.

Shiina Hiyori stepped into the library and made her way to the corner that had quietly become their own — and sat down.

She spread the book open on the table before her.

Her gaze fell once more on the chibi bookmark Shikime Natsu had given her, still nestled among the pages.

She looked at that tiny, beaming little version of herself.

Shiina Hiyori picked up her book again, her eyes settling on the dense rows of text.

But —

Her heart was not in it. Not even close.

The page sat there for a long, long time without ever being turned.

She was simply waiting.

Waiting to find out: would that familiar set of footsteps come... or would it not?

____

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