Chapter 2: Rules of the Afterlife
"Damn it, you two need to tone it down! You're spamming the chat so much I can't see anything!"
Ever since Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki had been reunited in his live stream, they hadn't stopped their affectionate exchange, which thoroughly irritated Ren Arakawa, who had been single for over twenty years.
Damn it! What was this nonsense?
Did they think he didn't exist?
Truthfully, his "live stream view" had a function to block comments, but he had no intention of using it. It was genuinely interesting watching all these deceased legends gathered together.
The problem was there were just too many messages flooding the screen, making it difficult to follow.
Especially Minato Namikaze. Ever since he saw Kushina Uzumaki, he'd become a chatterbox. Nearly half the comments were him showing off his relationship!
It was infuriating to watch!
[Minato Namikaze: Hahaha... Don't be angry, streamer. My wife and I just haven't seen each other for so long, I got a little carried away. If you had a wife, you'd understand this feeling of how absence makes the heart grow fonder...]
Ren Arakawa: "..."
[Notification: Minato Namikaze has been forcibly removed from the live stream by the host!]
"Damn it, not only do they flaunt their relationship, they even mock me. Being single for over twenty years isn't easy, you know!"
Ren felt deeply insulted by Minato Namikaze's last comment and promptly kicked him out.
[Yuhi Kurenai: Well done!]
[Uchiha Fugaku: I never would have imagined the Fourth Hokage would become like this after death!]
[Uchiha Mikoto: Fugaku, you should talk less. Minato is, after all, my best friend's husband. No matter what, he is a hero of Konoha.]
[Uchiha Fugaku: Alright, whatever you say, Mikoto. I didn't expect you to be here too. I have so much I want to tell you. How have you been all these years? Have you missed me?]
[Notification: Uchiha Fugaku has been forcibly removed from the live stream by the host!]
[Uchiha Mikoto: ???]
Ren Arakawa: "Let me make this clear first: if anyone dares to use my live stream to show off their relationship, I'll make them experience how cruel this world can be!"
[Yuhi Kurenai: Well done!]
[The Third Raikage: You Konoha folks really know how to have fun. We can't keep up...]
[Yagura Karatachi: This streamer has quite the personality. I like him!]
Ren felt a wave of awkwardness: "Fourth Mizukage, please have some self-respect. I'm not into men, and I don't need you to like me!"
[Yagura Karatachi: That's not what I meant. I'm straight too!]
Over in the Pure Land, Yagura was so angry his gums itched.
At that moment, Kushina Uzumaki, not wanting to be left out, began pleading for Minato Namikaze, who had been kicked out of the stream.
[Kushina Uzumaki: Streamer, please let Minato back in! I promise I'll keep him quiet!]
Ren Arakawa smiled and said, "Why should I listen to you?"
[Ding! Congratulations on receiving a donation from Kushina Uzumaki—Uzumaki Clan Physique!]
Kushina Uzumaki didn't say another word. She just silently pressed the donation button on her end and gifted her unique Uzumaki vitality and chakra reserves.
After all, here in the Pure Land, physical constitutions and such were useless to her now.
But Ren was utterly stunned when he received the donation.
He never expected the reward system of this live stream to be so incredible—it could even grant him bloodline physiques!
It seemed he had misunderstood the system.
This [Undead Live Stream System] was far more amazing than he had imagined!
"Ahem~ Seeing how sincere you are, I'll make an exception and let Minato Namikaze back in. Let's get this settled!"
As he spoke, Ren opened the list of previous viewers, found Minato Namikaze, and pulled him back into the stream.
[Notification: Minato Namikaze has accepted your invitation and has successfully returned to the live stream!]
[Minato Namikaze: Thank you for bringing me back. Otherwise, I really wouldn't know how to express my longing for Kushina...]
[Kushina Uzumaki: Minato, stop talking.]
[Minato Namikaze: Okay, I'll do whatever you say, dear!]
[Notification: Minato Namikaze has been muted by the host for 10 minutes!]
Ren Arakawa: "Remember, public displays of affection lead to swift retribution. If you say anything cheesy again next time, it won't just be a 10-minute mute!"
[Yuhi Kurenai: Well done!]
[Notification: Yuhi Kurenai has been muted by the host for 10 minutes!]
Ren Arakawa: "Damn it, you've just been repeating the same few lines. Anyone would think you're a bot I hired. Watch your words next time!"
[Kushina Uzumaki: ...]
[Uchiha Mikoto: Streamer, could you please let my husband back in too? We suffered enough in life. Not only did we have to watch our eldest son slaughter our entire clan, but we also had to endure his betrayal. Please, have some mercy!]
"Sure, as long as the donations are good, I might even let your dad in!"
Ren's lips curled into a slight smile; he felt like he had found a shortcut to power.
[Ding! Congratulations on receiving a donation from Uchiha Mikoto—"Three Basic Ninja Techniques" (Proficient Level).]
[Notification: Uchiha Mikoto has been muted by the host for 5 minutes!]
"Are you trying to fob me off with this? How dare you offer something so basic? I'm giving you a five-minute mute to reflect on your actions!"
Seeing the "Three Basic Ninja Techniques" gifted by Uchiha Mikoto, Ren casually handed out a mute.
Who did she think she was looking down on?
Giving away junk like this!
[The Third Raikage: I never expected the younger generation to be so arrogant. I've certainly broadened my horizons today!]
[Yagura Karatachi: Yeah, it's a good thing we died early!]
[Mu: You two are supposed to be Kage of your villages. Mind your manners when you speak!]
[Hoozuki Gengetsu: Second Tsuchikage, I didn't expect you old fossil to be here too!]
[Mu: I've been lurking in the shadows for a long time, just not bothering to say anything.]
[Hoozuki Gengetsu: Hmph~ So pretentious. Trash!]
[Mu: What did you say? A mere loser like you dares to spout nonsense in front of me?]
[Hoozuki Gengetsu: Trash will always be trash. Fight me again if you have the guts!]
[Mu: Bring it on! Who's afraid of you!]
[Notification: Hoozuki Gengetsu has been banned by the host for 30 days!]
[Notification: Mu has been banned by the host for 30 days!]
Ren Arakawa: "Let this be a warning to everyone. Anyone who starts arguing will face the same consequence!"