Every year at the same time, a very important event for every youngling took place at the Jedi Temple — a scheduled flight, or rather, a joint flight to the ice-covered planet Ilum, so that each of them could find a crystal for a lightsaber, intended only for him. As a rule, the group of junior students was accompanied by two seniors — a Master and a Padawan, for whom this gathering was something like an exam on their responsibility for the students entrusted to them, necessary for mentoring in the years to come. Is it any wonder that this time, the task of accompanying the group of younglings was entrusted to none other than Ahsoka? After all, she, like no one else, knew how to find common ground with the younger students, especially the difficult ones, such as Anakin Skywalker and Ferrus Olin. Although recently, her relationship with both of them had changed significantly. Two years had passed since that memorable escape from the Temple and that ambiguous conversation between the children. It must be said that Ahsoka was utterly surprised by Anakin's words about his feelings for her, feelings that were childish and hardly conscious, but no less sincere and strong as steel. She thought about it for a long time, all the rest of the night and the following morning. The girl did not lie to herself when she admitted that she also felt something for this boy, so funny, but so open and simple-minded, that she also felt a warm affection for him. She did not love anyone in the Order as much as she loved Anakin. Even her teacher, she treated more with respect and reverence. but with Anakin she could laugh openly and discuss many things, even the behaviour of their mentors. Yes, that was true, but it did not mean that Asoka considered it possible to break the rules of the Order and enter into an unacceptable relationship with a comrade. She told Anakin this during their usual training session that afternoon. Carefully, choosing her words. Anakin seemed to understand her and did not change his expression at all, knowing that nothing could bind him to Ahsoka except friendship, neither now nor later, but only in his blue eyes, somewhere deep down, behind the carefully displayed carefree cheerfulness, hid a quiet sadness and at the same time a fierce determination that said he would not give up.
"I won't give up," Anakin said silently, unaware that he was responding to Asoka's suspicions. "I will wait and believe that the day will come when she will understand and appreciate everything. And then we will be together. For a long time. Forever. And we will love each other like my mother and father."
But not now, not at this moment. Skywalker understood this more clearly than ever, guessing with unchildlike insight that now was not the time. He would wait and hope, but for now he had to lie low and pretend to agree to Togrutha's terms. And Anakin did just that. He smiled carelessly and picked up his sword again to continue his interrupted training. Usually, the younglings trained either in groups or with each other, but Anakin always did it mainly with Tano. It was easier and much more interesting with her. Ahsoka knew all the fighting styles and was happy to share her knowledge with him. They learned the first form of Shii-cho playfully, as it included all the basic strikes, blocks, and stances with movements. The form was simple, but thanks to its wide, sweeping strikes, it could be effective in combat. However, the second form, Makashi, was much more interesting and effective in this regard. It involved anticipating your opponent's moves and reacting quickly to them, which was quite easy considering that the sword was held with one hand. The third form, Soresu, was very similar to its predecessor, with the only difference being that here the emphasis was on defence and quickly ending the fight. The fourth form, Ataru, was the most difficult for Asoka, not because it was difficult, thanks to the very serious acrobatics and quick reactions on which it was based, but because it was the form preferred by the late Phil. And it was because of this that he lost his last fight. In memory of her friend, Asoka mastered this form from start to finish, becoming one of the best in her generation, but there was not a single time when she did not remember that fight, explaining another blow to Anakin. However, there was another form that Ahsoka liked just as much — the fifth, Shien. It required persistence and a desire not just to end the fight, but to emerge victorious, which was facilitated by quick, sharp strikes and rapid movements. Tano liked the sixth form, Nimban, much less. It was a combination of the previous five forms and, in her opinion, took the weakest and most ineffective aspects of each. The form was diplomatic and showed respect for the opponent, something Ahsoka never felt and therefore rarely resorted to. Its complete opposite was the seventh form, Vaapad, which was favoured by Master Windu, who was disliked by both students. It represented aggression dressed up in a respectable form, directing this negative emotion where it could be used. It could not look peaceful, and practising this form rarely ended without injury for either of them. And, as luck would have it, on that day, two years later, Anakin and Ahsoka, the day before the gathering, decided to practise it. Ahsoka had recently turned seventeen and had changed a lot lately, growing taller and curvier, her figure becoming more feminine and mature, as the older boys would have said mockingly, her face becoming more refined, and her smile deeper and more mysterious. But twelve-year-old Anakin, standing next to her, would never dream of saying anything bad or disparaging about her. He still idolised Togruta and wouldn't let anyone hurt her, not even himself. He himself had changed little, except that he had grown taller and his hair had darkened, but his figure was still boyishly thin, and his arms and legs were disproportionately long. He disliked himself intensely and only realised it now, today, during training, or rather, shortly before it, when he was walking from the dining room and came across a strange scene in the corridor — Ferrus Olin, his long-time enemy and secret rival, had grabbed someone by the waist and, seizing both wrists with one hand, pressed them against the wall and was rudely trying to kiss them. The unfortunate woman fought him off and tried in vain to break free. This was not surprising, as the fourteen-year-old Ferrus, unlike Anakin, was tall and broad-shouldered, with a grip as strong as that of a wild predator that had caught its prey. Skywalker rushed to her aid and barely restrained himself from giving in to his anger when he realised who he was trying to corner. It was Asoka. She was pushing him with all her might and kicking him, but to no avail. Anakin saw and understood this, and without giving himself time to think, he boldly rushed at his comrade and began to pull him away from the togruta. When he finally succeeded, at the cost of a black eye and a piece of fabric torn from his tunic, he waved his hand at Ahsoka to tell her to leave.
"Why are you so upset?" Ferrus asked mockingly. "Maybe she liked it. Maybe she asked me herself?"
"That can't be true, I saw it myself," replied Anakin, still holding on to the edge of his tunic. "I know Asoka, she couldn't possibly be interested in someone like you!
"Ha ha ha!" Olin laughed in his face. "You say you know her, then maybe you can tell me why she goes to the chancellor's office almost every week? She locks herself in with him and doesn't come out for at least an hour, flushed and very excited! Why do you think that is?"
A red veil of anger clouded Anakin's eyes, and he lunged at Olin again, pinning him against the wall and punching him in the face.
"Don't you dare, you hear me! Never dare to talk about her like that! And don't you touch her!" Enakian shouted in his face, landing more blows.
"Let me go, you idiot!" Ferrus demanded, fighting back. "I won't touch your toggru again, even though she's a hot piece of ass, but there's nothing for me to catch anyway, the Chancellor won't give up his property!
Taking advantage of Anakin's weakened grip, Olin jumped out and rushed down the corridor, while Skywalker went to his room, choking with anger and resentment. The Chancellor, him again, why was he always getting in his way? And why did everyone constantly rub his imperfections in his face? As if Anakin himself didn't know about them. Entering his room, the teenager immediately rushed to the mirror, hoping to dissuade himself of the truth of Ferrus' words, but alas, he found only confirmation of them. The dispassionate glass reflected the same thing as always: a skinny, awkward figure, hair sticking up no matter how he tried to style it, and in the last year it had even started to curl like a girl's. Anakin spat in frustration and tried to smooth it down, even wetting his hands under the tap, but nothing helped. His face was no better, pale and narrow, with protruding cheekbones, thin, bloodless lips, and a narrow chin with an ugly dimple. Horrible. How could anyone love him? No wonder Ahsoka preferred the Chancellor and might prefer Ferrusa. Look at them! And him! Anakin spat again and looked at himself again. And he saw the same thing, the only thing he liked about himself were his eyes — huge, bright blue, like the sky Asoka loved. Was his beloved less than the Supreme Chancellor and the local heartthrob Ferrus? But not wanting to torment himself any further, Anakin hurried to change and go to training to study the most aggressive form of combat. Ahsoka was already in the hall and began to thank him for his help, but Anakin waved her away and said they could begin. Ahsoka immediately gathered herself, stood in a middle stance, and prepared to attack. Anakin stood opposite her and began to parry Ahsoka's blows, actively moving away from her across the hall. She lunged again and again. It was clear that Skywalker was somewhat distracted and thinking about something else. Tano sensed his agitation and even began to feel anger. She wanted to stop training, but she couldn't stay.
"Look how pathetic you are. You can't do anything. Why did you interrupt my date? You'll never be like him!" — it seemed that every blow from Ahsoka, who had taken on the role of an aggressive attacker, said this. And at some point, he gave in to his emotions and instead of blocking, he struck back. Asoka didn't have time to dodge, not expecting such a move, and the tip of the training sword hit her in the face, grazing her upper lip. Tano screamed and stopped. Anakin also froze, realising what he had done, and in a moment rushed towards her:
"Ahsoka, I'm sorry, it's my fault, I just lost control.
"It's okay, anything can happen in training," she said, barely holding back her tears. The training sword, set to low power, burned her delicate skin and the sensation was unpleasant.
"I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person, I don't deserve you," Anakin blurted out unexpectedly and suddenly hugged her, pressing his head against her shoulder. Ahsoka wrapped her arms around him and sobbed briefly:
"It'll pass, worse things happen in battle. You're very good, you'll definitely succeed and become better than all those you envy.
Ahsoka seemed to read the teenager's thoughts without knowing it. Or did she? Anakin didn't think about it, he just opened the first aid kit hanging on the wall to get a napkin and some medicine, which he poured onto it and applied to Ahsoka's face, exactly where the burn was. They sat down on the mats, and Anakin continued to hold his hand near her lips, which suddenly trembled and seemed to press closer to his cool palm, kissing it. Skywalker shuddered all over and, giving in to the impulse, placed his other hand on the Togruta's shoulder.
"I love you," he whispered barely audibly. "Just know that."
Asoka didn't answer, as she was unable to do so at that moment, I just smiled with my eyes. And Anakin firmly decided that tomorrow at the gathering he would definitely show himself, forcing her to look at him differently. And he would force her, but with what sign, plus or minus?
***
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