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The hot steam emanating from the young man's body began to dissipate slowly, carried away by the strange breeze of the tiny planet. His muscles, still throbbing from the extreme stress of the triple Kaio-ken, relaxed millimeter by millimeter. Despite the sharp pain in his muscles and the fine lines of dried blood on his face, the feeling of complete fulfillment was absolute.
She had pushed her fragile human vessel to the limit and forged it into steel.
Kaio-sama watched him with a mixture of genuine pride and comic relief, wiping the sweat from his blue forehead with a handkerchief.
"You managed to survive my training without exploding, boy. That's an achievement very few mortals, and even minor gods, could claim," said the North Kai, adjusting his small sunglasses. "Your control of Ki is monstrous, but remember my warning. That body of yours is strong, but it's still made of flesh, not katchin."
The teenager lowered his gaze to the blue god. In his past life and in the dark years of his new existence, respect was something earned, not something bestowed by titles or ranks. His biological parents had betrayed him. Master Shen had tried to kill him. Roshi, though useful, was an incorrigible pervert.
But King Kai... this strange, chubby god who loved bad jokes, had guided him with invaluable patience and wisdom. He had given him the secret of the gods without asking for anything in return but a good laugh.
The young man spread his legs, straightened his aching spine and, with a solemnity that contrasted brutally with his usual sarcastic arrogance, bowed his torso in a deep, martial ninety-degree bow.
"You have bestowed upon me a power that transcends my own limits, Kaio-sama," the young man said, his voice resonating clear and firm in the atmosphere of the tiny planet. "You have my eternal gratitude. I assure you that the technique you entrusted to me will not be wasted."
The North Kai blinked, surprised by the boy's sudden formality. A small tear of pride peeked out from behind his glasses. He quickly turned away, coughing to cover it up, and hugged his gigantic Definitive Encyclopedia of Multiversal Comedy to his chest.
"You have a stubborn body and an even more dangerous spirit, Kaiju. Mark my words: brute power isn't everything. If your spirit isn't in complete harmony with your body, the Kaio-ken will end up devouring you from within. Use it only when there's no other option."
"I'll keep that in mind, old man," Kaiju smiled, straightening up.
He glanced at Tohka, who nodded subtly, ready to leave. Kaiju extended his hand and, combining his massive Ki with a flash of power from his Celestial Eyes, tore the fabric of space-time once more. A dark, starry rift opened above the yellow brick road.
"Until next time, Kaio-sama! And don't read the jokes in section thirteen hundred out loud, they're for adults!" Kaiju warned before taking a step towards the portal.
"What?! Bubbles, bring me my speed-reading glasses!" was the last thing they heard from the god before the dimensional rift closed behind them.
...
The transition through hyperspace ended in a blink.
Upon setting foot on his new planet, Kaiju nearly flew off into the stratosphere. His body, hyper-adapted to withstand ten times Earth's gravity for an entire year, suddenly found itself on a planet with standard gravity.
He stumbled forward and, purely out of reflex, gave a small jump to regain his balance. The result was that he shot out like a missile fifty meters into the air.
"Whoa!" Kaiju shouted, waving his arms comically before steadying himself with Sky Dance and slowly descending. He landed with the grace of a feather, feeling so light he thought he might float just by breathing.
Tohka landed beside him, scanning the new surroundings. "Gravity at normal Earth levels. The atmosphere is rich in oxygen and noble gases. The terrain is composed mainly of eroded rock formations and barren canyons," she dictated, her amethyst eyes scanning the strange pink and purple sky. "Doesn't seem like an ideal vacation spot, Creator."
"We didn't come here on vacation, Tohka. We came to smooth things out," Kaiju said, looking at the strange stone formations that rose up around him like gigantic fingers pointing to the sky.
They were on the planet Yardrat.
They had barely taken a few steps across the arid landscape when a dozen figures appeared out of nowhere, completely surrounding them. There was no sound, no movement of air. They were simply gone one second, and then back again the next.
They were short humanoids with pinkish skin and large, bulbous heads. They wore baggy, alien-style clothing with exaggeratedly wide collars. Despite their fragile and comical appearance, Kaiju knew better than anyone that these beings possessed the greatest mastery of spiritual energy in the entire universe.
One of them, who appeared to be the elderly leader, with large, hanging mustaches, stepped forward.
"Welcome, travelers of the cosmos. I am Pybara," the old man greeted in a calm voice, clasping his strange hands together. "We rarely receive visitors from outside. And even more rarely, visitors with such overwhelmingly chaotic energy."
The old man narrowed his large eyes, staring directly into the Kaiju's core. "I sense two immense oceans within you, young human. One is pure, untamed life energy, pushed to its physical limits. The other... is something incomprehensible, ancient, and divine, constantly crashing against your mortal vessel. Your spirit is a hurricane. It's a miracle you haven't exploded yet."
Kaiju rubbed the back of his neck, smiling slightly sheepishly. The Kaio-ken had certainly left his Ki flow rather unstable. "That's precisely why I'm here, Gran Pybara. I need to learn Spirit Control. My power is growing faster than my body and mind can manage in sync. I've come to ask you to teach me how to balance it."
The elderly alien nodded slowly, understandingly. "Spirit Control is the foundation of everything we do on Yardrat. We will teach you, young one. We will gladly help you calm the storm within. By mastering it, you will discover wondrous techniques: multiplication, size augmentation, healing..."
"Yes, yes, all that sounds excellent," Kaiju interrupted, raising a finger enthusiastically, his one good eye gleaming with the wonder of a child in a toy store. "But I'm interested in one technique in particular. I need you to teach me Teleportation."
Tohka, who had been silent the whole time, turned her head towards him so quickly that there was almost a mechanical creaking sound.
"Mental note number 9012," she said, her tone dangerously stoic and judgmental. "The Creator has just requested training in a spatial displacement technique. Internal suggestion: Remind the Creator that, thanks to his Celestial Eyes, he literally has the power to tear through space and teleport to any damn corner of the universe just by thinking about it."
Kaiju shrugged, ignoring the overwhelming logic of its AI. "That's not the point, Tohka. Using eye portals requires consuming divine mana, and it's too conspicuous. The Yardratian Instant Transmission uses Ki and requires focusing on another person's energy. It's stealthy. It's tactical."
—Probability that the Creator is using tactical excuses to hide his true motives: 99.9%—Tohka retorted, crossing her arms and slightly puffing out her cheeks in an adorable pout of indignation.
Kaiju sighed, feeling cornered. He lowered his head in defeat and confessed his true motivation in an embarrassed but convinced whisper. "Fine... you're right. I don't need it for survival... I need it because the pose is awesome, damn it!"
Kaiju swiftly brought the index and middle fingers of his right hand to his forehead, striking the iconic pose. "Watch this, Tohka! Two fingers to the forehead and BAM! You vanish! It's the most spectacular move in the entire history of battles! It's the pinnacle of male sci-fi romance! I can't go home without mastering this pose!"
Pybara and the other Yardratians looked at each other, blinking their large alien eyes, completely baffled by the strange dynamic between the immensely powerful human and the beautiful girl who was scolding him.
Tohka brought a gloved hand to the bridge of her nose, sighing deeply, a gesture so human it would have been beautiful if it weren't charged with pure exasperation.
—Adding "chronic genius complex" to the Creator's psychological profile—she muttered, giving up.
Kaiju simply smiled again, ignoring the cosmic judgment. He was going to master his spirit, he was going to balance the energy of his Celestial Eyes with his human Ki, and, above all, he was going to learn to teleport with two fingers to his forehead, even if it took him another six months on this planet of pink rocks.
...
Six months. That was the exact amount of time it took Kaiju to calm the category five hurricane that raged inside his soul.
The arid landscape and pink skies of the planet Yardrat had been the setting for the deepest and most frustrating meditation of his entire existence. Learning to balance the immense and inexhaustible divinity of his Celestial Eyes with the explosive and raw force of his physical Ki was no easy task. There were days when he nearly blew up an entire alien mountain with just a poorly channeled sneeze.
But now, standing on a pillar of eroded stone, everything was different.
Kaiju, at fourteen and a half years old, took a deep breath. He no longer felt two energies fighting for control of his body. Now he felt a perfect symphony. Ki flowed like an underground river, and his divine mana enveloped him like a protective cloak. His spirit, finally, was under absolute control.
A few meters away, the elderly Pybara nodded slowly, stroking his long whiskers with an expression of profound respect. "It's astonishing, young Kaiju. In just half a solar cycle, you have achieved what takes the most brilliant scholars of Yardrat decades. Your spirit is now a perfectly calm lake. You are ready."
Kaiju smiled. A wide, genuine smile, full of otaku anticipation. "Thank you, Gran Pybara. And now... the moment I've been waiting for since I set foot on this planet of pink rocks."
He raised his right hand with almost theatrical slowness. He extended his index and middle fingers and placed them firmly against his forehead. He closed his good eye, ignoring the power of his Celestial Eyes, and extended his spiritual senses toward the cosmos.
—Mental note number 9450—interrupted Tohka's unmistakable voice, who was floating nearby in her gleaming purple armor—. The Creator is about to perform a quantum shift using his life energy. However, he continues to waste an average of 1.5 seconds assuming a dramatic pose with his fingers on his forehead, which is anatomically unnecessary for the technique.
"Don't ruin the aesthetics, Tohka! The pose is ninety percent of the attack!" Kaiju retorted without opening his eye, searching for a vibrant and boisterous Ki signature in the vastness of space.
He found a very familiar planet. A populous city filled with small, energetic lights. The Western Capital, on Earth. He set his sights.
With a sharp POP! that sounded like the void shattering, the Kaiju's body instantly vanished from the stone pillar. There wasn't even a gust of wind. It simply ceased to exist on Yardrat.
Two seconds later, another "POP!" echoed in the same place, and Kaiju was back, standing in the same position, but holding a laminated menu with the image of a grilled steak.
"Hahaha! It works! It's perfect!" exclaimed Kaiju, waving the menu in the air. "Great Pybara, I have no words to thank you. Your technique is the pinnacle of convenience."
Pybara gave a slight bow. "Use it wisely, young warrior. May your spirit always remain at peace."
Kaiju nodded, then turned to Tohka, his eyes gleaming with a mischievous light. "Did you hear that, Tohka? My spirit is at peace. And a peaceful spirit demands a worthy reward. We've been eating King Kai's grilled fish and transmuted rations that taste like recycled cardboard for a year and a half."
Tohka landed softly in front of him, tilting her head. "Are you implying that our current nutritional regimen is deficient, Creator? I can adjust the transmutation parameters to include more glucose and..."
"No, no, no. You're not going to be calculating macros or dictating mental notes today," Kaiju interrupted, stepping closer and taking her gloved hand firmly in his. The warmth of his grip made Tohka blink, her pale cheeks turning a faint pink. "Today we're going to celebrate my graduation. We're going to rob a real restaurant in this wonderful universe. Get ready."
Kaiju touched his forehead with two fingers again. He visualized the bustling city. POP!
...
The "Golden Dragon Restaurant," located in the heart of the West Capital on Earth, was famous for its all-you-can-eat buffets and top-quality cuts of meat. It was a noisy place, filled with families, office workers, and the occasional martial artist.
In one of the larger, more secluded cabinets at the back, the noise was not from conversations, but from plates being stacked at a dizzying speed.
"Waiter! Another ten portions of glazed pork, five bowls of giant noodles, and your entire stock of desserts!" Kaiju shouted, throwing a thick wad of bills (conveniently transmuted into local currency) onto the wooden table.
The waiter, pale and trembling, nodded vigorously and hurried off to the kitchen. The pile of empty plates on Kaiju and Tohka's table was already over a meter high, threatening to collapse under its own weight.
Kaiju devoured a roasted dinosaur thigh, his muscles and metabolism hyper-accelerated by Ki training demanding calories at Saiyan levels.
But the real spectacle, the black hole that defied all the laws of thermodynamics, was sitting right in front of him.
Tohka, clad in her imposing and elegant astral armor, had both cheeks completely puffed out. She held a bowl of fried rice in one hand and two meat skewers in the other. The blush on her face wasn't from embarrassment, but from pure and utter gastronomic ecstasy. Her amethyst eyes shone like two beacons of happiness.
He swallowed it all with an almost unnatural movement and let out a sigh of satisfaction that made the table tremble.
"Creator... Kaiju..." Tohka stammered, the corner of her lips stained with sweet and sour sauce. "This... This is infinitely superior to the texture of Kinako Bread! It's juicy, it's salty, it's perfect! Why does the universe hide such treasures?"
Kaiju let out a loud laugh, wiping his hands with a napkin, completely unconcerned by the terrified stares of the other diners who watched the two teenagers eat the restaurant's monthly reservation.
He had gone from being a soul condemned to hell to becoming a demigod capable of mastering the sky, gravity, and space. He had sculpted his body to withstand his divine power, and most importantly, he was sitting in an anime restaurant, eating his fill next to a beautiful AI he himself had endowed with a soul, which was now experiencing the bliss of a good glazed pork.
"I told you, Tohka," Kaiju smiled, leaning back in the leather seat with an expression of absolute peace. "There are many boring things in the multiverse... but good food and breaking the laws of physics aren't among them. Eat all you want, it's on me!"
Tohka didn't need to be told twice. When the waiter returned with a cart full of desserts, the AI's eyes flashed with the same lethal intensity she would use in a fight to the death, ready to annihilate the flans and cakes without mercy.
As he gazed at her, Kaiju knew his journey of self-discovery in this universe had come to an end. He was ready. His body, his spirit, and his magic were in perfect harmony. Soon, he would have to open one last portal to return to the Land of Kuoh and begin high school in a world he still believed to be normal.
But that would be tomorrow. Today, there was only room for digestion.