The house of our soon to be protagonist was ordinary in every way. Nothing special from the outside. Nothing impressive from the inside either. A perfectly average home in a perfectly average neighborhood, with perfectly average problems. And tucked inside it was a room that absolutely didn't betrayed the existence of a teenager. Clothes were thrown everywhere like some failed art installation. Random gadgets, random notebooks, random wrappers, and random regrets were scattered across the floor. The bed looked worse. Sheets twisted into knots, pillows on the floor, blanket stuffed halfway under the mattress like it tried to escape and failed.
And in the middle of all that chaos crouched a young man with messy violet hair that looked like it hadn't been brushed in two weeks. Axel. Seventeen, maybe eighteen. Definitely too tired and too annoyed for whatever he was doing, which at the moment was rummaging through an old cardboard box he had dragged out of the storeroom that morning.
The box looked ancient. Older than his parents. Probably older than him twice over. It had that old paper smell mixed with dust, the kind that tickles your nose and makes you wonder how many spiders died inside it.
He squinted at it like the thing owed him money.
"This thing is ancient. Like… grandparents era ancient," he muttered, and with the back of his hand wiped some dust off the lid. "Hmmm… let's see what Grandpa got in here. I hope there is gold. Or a pistol. Or maybe something useful for me at least.."
"Give me something cool. I'm not picky."
His voice carried that hopeful excitement only a teenager could muster at the idea of unexpected treasure. Earlier this morning, when he spotted the suspicious old box shoved behind forgotten winter clothes in the storeroom, his heart had jumped. A mystery box. In his own house. That practically meant destiny. Treasure. Or at least something cool enough to brag about.
But as he opened the lid, treasure was definitely not the first thing he found.. nor did he see any lightsaber he was hoping for but again reality is often dissapointing. Still he continued still have some hope for his grampa.
He pulled out a stack of letters. Old, yellowed, tied with a string. They looked very love-letter-ish, so he smirked.
"Okay, love letters for Grandma? Please be something dramatic," he muttered as he untied the string and unfolded one.
He read a few lines and froze.
"Hmmm…?"
Dear Mr. Whiskers,
I am so sorry about my wife. She's crazy. Yesterday she tried to cook my favorite slippers because I left them by the door again. Please forgive me for bringing such a madwoman into your home.
Love, your loyal servant, Razeal
These were not love letters to Grandma. These were letters addressed… to the family cat. Apologizing for his wife's behavior. Telling the cat he understood. Complaining about the universe. Asking for emotional support from a creature that probably slept through the entire century and definitely don't give a shit about anything.
Axel stared at the letter like it personally offended him.
"Just… wow." He had no other words. His expression twisted between disbelief and secondhand embarrassment. "My old man was writing apology letters to a cat and even acting as being a servant to ir. Great. Amazing family history."
He tossed the entire stack back into the box like it carried emotional contamination.
Next he grabbed a notebook with dramatic handwriting across the cover:
"REVENGE IDEAS – DO NOT OPEN" written in angry red pen. Underneath, someone (definitely grandpa) had added, "SERIOUSLY I WILL HAUNT YOU."
He stared at it.
Paused.
"...Yeah, no." His face flattened into deadpan disappointment. "Not gold. Not money. Not anything remotely useful."
He threw it over his shoulder without even pretending to be curious. Revenge ideas were the last thing he needed in his life. Especially dead grandfather revenge ideas. That was a whole other brand of weird. And as for threats Yeah, right. Like he be scared of a ghost who writes apology letters to cats. Not that he was going to read these.
The next item looked like a scrapbook. The cover had neat cursive writing:
Sexy photos of my beautiful wife. Secret materials. Part 7.
Axel recoiled like the book hissed at him.
"EWWWW. Oh no no nope nope. Absolutely not. Why would.. Why would this even exist? And part seven!? How many parts are there!?"
He flung it like it was on fire. The scrapbook did a beautiful arc through the air, pages flapping like a panicked bird, and slap-landed face-down on his bed. Axel wiped his hands on his jeans fifteen times even though he was wearing gloves in his mind.
"So cursed. My eyes did not need that."
"Nope. Not today, Satan."
Then he pulled out a mug. Plain. Beige. Nothing special. Except the words
World's Okayest Person
He stared at it.
"Well. I won't comment anything, I guess."
Next came a jar labeled regret. He opened it. It was empty.
He snorted. "Figures."
And then he saw what was left and.. Then came rocks.
Not cool rocks. Not shiny rocks. Just… rocks. Dozens of them. Different shapes. Different sizes. All equally pointless.
Axel stared into the box, horrified by the growing evidence that his grandfather had been a fucking weirdo. Hope i got my most genes from Grama.
"Like.. what the fuck was wrong with my old man…" he groaned, rubbing his forehead. The more he pulled out, the more he regretted waking up today.
Still crouching, he nudged the box with his foot in frustration. Except he kicked too hard.
Big mistake.
The box was apparently 90% rocks. His toe connected with what felt like a brick made of hate.
"OW MOTHER OW OW OW!!"
Axel hopped around the room on one foot, clutching the injured one, knocking over a stuff he thrown before, aa also while hopping, his flailing leg caught the "World's Okayest Person" mug. It wobbled.
The mug hit the carpet with a soft thud. The plastic lid which Axel hadn't even noticed was loose.. popped off. Something small and plastic-wrapped slid out and landed between his feet.
Axel froze mid-hop, still holding his throbbing toe.
"...Huh?"
He lowered his foot, limped back to where the packet lay on the floor, and crouched again. The pain in his toe dissolved from his mind as curiosity overtook everything.
He picked up the small plastic bag. It was old, thin, slightly yellowed with age.
"What's this now?"
Inside the bag was an old folded piece of paper and… something round. Something dark.. brownish black. It looked like a ball, maybe the size of a large egg, but rougher.
He shook it in his hand. It didn't rattle. Didn't crumble. Didn't give any clue at all.
He wrinkled his nose and lifted it closer.
"And what is this supposed to be? A piece of shit or something?" he muttered, genuinely confused. He sniffed it, just lightly.
Instant regret.
"Ugh.. God, it smells horrible!"
He jerked his head back, disgusted, eyes watering slightly from the intensity of the stench. Whatever this thing was, it had definitely aged in the worst way possible.
Still holding the nasty ball in his left hand, he opened the folded note with his right.
The handwriting was rushed, messy, strangely dramatic. Grandpa wrote it. Absolutely..
I don't know what it is but this thing is impossible to break. I wanted it to be a family heirloom but my wife rejected it. Of course she doesn't love me. But if anyone found this… please try it.
Break it.
There must be something very very useful inside.
BREAK THIS SHIT. Only then my soul will get peace.
Axel stared.
Then exhaled the longest, flattest sigh of his life.
"He's so dramatic…"
He tossed the note aside too. He was exhausted from discovering how truly bizarre his grandfather had been.
But a part of him lingered on the one line.
Impossible to break.
He rolled the dark ball in his palm. It was hard. Really hard.. But he have confidence
"Maybe he just wasn't man enough," Axel muttered with a shrug. "Let me see how tough this thing actually is."
He clenched his fist and pinched the object hard with his fingers.
Pain shot up his fingers.
"OW SERIOUSLY!?"
The ball remained perfectly intact.
He shook out his hand and glared at it like it personally insulted him.
"Guess I'm not the man enough either…" he grumbled, rolling his eyes dramatically.. "I mean heyyy no one breaks stuff like this."
Still annoyed, he brought the ball closer to his mouth.
"Ow. Okay, fine. Plan B."
" Bet I can bite it."
He bit it with his front teeth.
Instant regret again.
"OW what the hell! It's like biting a rock! My teeth!"
He hissed in pain, rubbing his jaw. This thing really was impossible to break. Or at least too stubborn for his front teeth.
But Axel was committed now. Pride > survival instinct.
He stared at it.
Then shrugged.
Then, without even thinking, and definitely not caring about how old it was or how dirty or deadly it might be…
He put the entire thing into his mouth.
"Alright, back teeth. Time for the real test," he mumbled with the strange, muffled determination of someone who should absolutely reconsider his life choices.
Because if his back teeth couldn't break this thing, nothing could.
Axel had the disgusting, fossilized, death-scented ball fully in his mouth now. Both cheeks puffed out like a greedy squirrel. His back molars grinding for dear life. He was growling through his nose like an angry lawnmower.
"Come on you little.."
And then… poof.
The ball just… vanished.
Not cracked. Not shattered. Not even a crunch.
It melted. Instantly. Like an ice cube dropped on the sun.
One second it was there, pressing against his tongue with the texture of a hockey puck and the flavor of a thousand-year-old foot. The next second it turned into a warm, thick, faintly sweet white liquid that slid down his throat before he could even gag.
Axel's eyes snapped wide open.
He froze, tongue poking around his mouth like a confused explorer.
"Huh?"
He ran his tongue over his teeth. Under his tongue. Along his cheeks. Nothing. Not a crumb. Not a shard. Not even that god-awful smell anymore.
He swallowed hard on reflex, and whatever was left of the liquid just… disappeared into him.
"…Where the hell did it go? Did I swallow it? Seriously? It was literally a rock. Did I just swallow a rock?!"
His disbelief twisted into irritation. Then confusion. Then a strange creeping unease.
"Don't tell me it melted… inside my mouth? What even melts like that? Old candy doesn't even melt that fast."
He smacked his lips. Tasted faintly of vanilla and ozone now. Weirdly pleasant. Suspiciously pleasant.
And then
DING!!
The sound didn't come from his phone pr outside. But from inside his skull. A crystal-clear, impossibly loud notification chime that vibrated behind his eyeballs.
Axel yelped and slapped both hands over his ears, which did absolutely nothing.
A glowing blue rectangle popped into existence right in front of his face, floating in mid-air like someone had glued a tablet to reality itself.
Golden letters scrolled across it like an anime opening on steroids.
[Congratulations! You are the first and only existence in all timelines to successfully devour a System Seed!]
[Authority recognized: Absolute]
Axel's jaw dropped so fast it almost unhinged.
"What the fuck"
[Searching for the perfect System to bind with Host's soul…]
[Analyzing...]
[Scanning infinite possibilities… 0.0001%… 7%… 42%… 99.999%…]
The panel started flashing colors red, purple, gold, neon pink like a nightclub having a seizure.
Axel stumbled backward, tripped over the "World's Okayest Person" mug, and windmilled his arms trying not to fall on his ass.
He finally caught his balance and lunged forward, instinctively trying to swat the floating screen away like it was a giant mosquito.. Just his great reflexes.
His palm smacked into it.
Except it wasn't air.
It was solid.
Harder than steel.
The impact jolted all the way up to his shoulder. He yelped again, shaking his hand like he'd punched a brick wall.
"Ow! What the hell is this?!"
The first panel vanished with a dramatic whoosh, replaced by a new one that materialized with even more sparkles and a deeper, way too sexy announcer voice that definitely belonged in a late-night ad.
Ding!!
[Match found. Compatibility: 666%]
[Perfect System selected and permanently bound!]
[System Name: Filthy Harem God System]
[Version: ∞ (Uncensored · Unbound · Unrepentant)]
[Host: You (Forever)]
Axel's brain short-circuited.
He read the words once.
Twice.
Then a third time, slowly, like maybe if he sounded them out they'd make more sense.
"Filthy… Harem… God… System?"
A chorus of DING DING DING exploded in his head like a casino jackpot made of church bells.
Another panel slammed into view, blood-red this time, with flaming letters and little animated hearts that were absolutely not innocent.
[Main Mission Activated]
[Mission Name: "Deflower the Century"]
[Objective: Take the virginity of exactly 100 pure, untouched maidens within 365 days]
[Current Progress: 0 / 100]
[Time Limit: 365 days, 00:00:00 remaining]
[Reward: No Reward ♥]
[Failure Penalty: Instant Death → Soul dragged to the Eternal Realm of Regret → Infinite torment loop pain amplified 10,000× forever]
Axel's eye twitched.
Then another panel. This one was pitch black with glowing purple text and a little winking succubus emoji that blew him a kiss.
[Forever Quest Activated (Cannot be refused)]
[Quest Name: "Eternal Stamina, Eternal Sin"]
[Objective: Engage in sexual intercourse at least once every 24 hours without exception]
[Current Streak: 0 days]
[Failure Penalty: Immediate death → Soul personally claimed and ravaged for eternity by Demon Queen Lilith in the 8th Layer of Hell (she's been waiting for fresh meat ♡)]
The succubus emoji licked its lips.
Axel stared.
----