Chapter 59: You Buy Me Château Lafite, I Buy You a 7-Up
75th minute —
3:6!
Andrei Arshavin's thunderous strike shattered Manchester United's dream of a comeback!
Less than twenty minutes remained; they'd need at least three more goals — nearly impossible!
Manchester United fans sank back into their seats with glazed, unfocused eyes. Old Trafford was filled only with Arsenal's anthem; it felt, for the moment, like the Emirates Stadium.
Only Sir Alex Ferguson refused to give up.
He brought Nani on for Tom Cleverley and Jesse Lingard for Rafael.
Wenger had intended to react to Ferguson's changes, but after seeing Ferguson's tactical switches…
Wenger was certain his old mate's gambler's streak had flared again, and there was no need for him to mirror it.
After United's substitutions the back three pushed up, Carrick became the distribution hub, and several forwards were available up front.
What looked like a pair of double-barrelled guns had become a multi-barrel rocket launcher;
it seemed a plan to break the game open.
But what about midfield organization and solidity?
What if Carrick couldn't dictate the play?
The old rival had gambled his tactical coherence away.
Wenger decided not to play into it.
Play resumed.
Although Wenger thought Ferguson's tweaks were faulty, the substitutes injected spirit into United's play.
Two young agitators entering the sardine-packed field gave the Manchester players engines under their boots.
They ran like mad and, for the rest of the match, the attacks came in waves. Because there was no real structure — mostly long balls —
there weren't actually that many truly dangerous shots.
Ferguson knew well that if his men couldn't get results from their three-move banging attack, they'd be vulnerable to Arsenal's deadly counters.
He stood on the touchline with a glowering face, like a monarch, eyes wide and cold, inspecting his troops.
On the pitch,
Nani, truly the "second Cristiano," beat Xia Qi, Mikel Arteta and cut into the left corner of the box.
When Nani got past Xia Qi the crowd exploded like an earthquake.
Xia Qi's eardrums throbbed at that moment.
Here's how it happened:
Carrick distributed; Nani had his back to the attack and to Xia Qi.
He raised his foot as if to play for a one-two with Ashley Young.
But his right foot didn't pass — it stepped over ahead of the ball and flicked it back between his legs with his heel.
The AI calculated in 0.01 seconds that the ball would pass through the small gap between Nani and Xia Qi in 0.12 seconds, while Xia Qi needed 0.27 seconds to shut the door.
The AI decided the best course of action:
turn and chase the ball!
But Nani also spun quickly. Seeing Xia Qi turn first, Nani tugged the tail of Xia Qi's shirt as he ran alongside him and sneaked an elbow, pushing Xia Qi as he surged forward.
Heel flick, spin, and past — fluent, quick. Most important: he made Arsenal fans hate Xia Qi even more.
United fans instinctively overlooked Nani's three little fouls and responded with centuries-worth of enthusiasm.
No matter how powerful the AI, it couldn't make Xia Qi's body immune to physical assaults; his turn became an aircraft carrier trying to turn around.
"Ding-dong: detected host has entered hostile relations with Manchester United, hidden mission triggered."
"Hidden mission: beat Manchester United twice this season.
Mission reward: Stadium Taboos Patch Pack. After the system patch, the host can execute referee-ignored petty fouls while in one-click AFK mode."
Holy shit!
The AI is terrifying —
it learns and self-corrects!
God!
Is there any bright future for humanity?
But… smells good!
On the pitch,
after getting past Xia Qi Nani step-overs and feints, slipped past Arteta and reached the left top of the box.
Bacary Sagna stepped up to defend. In the center were Wayne Rooney about three meters away and Robin van Persie five meters away, both reaching for the ball.
Nani looked at them both, shuffled the ball back, feigned a left-footed burst — Sagna didn't bite. He didn't guard the outside, only the inside; the outside lane opened.
Nani's "second Ronaldo" reputation wasn't for nothing. A lesser player might have panicked and let the ball fall to Sagna.
But Nani, in a split second, made his feint real.
This is a superstar's trait!
Even better,
as he slipped past Sagna he nudged the ball to the right as if squeezing into a lane, completing a cut inside.
This cut looked like Robben's — defenders know Robben's cut is hard to stop.
Nani's cut was the same; Sagna, who had been guarding inside and leaving the outside free, could do nothing.
Per Mertesacker rushed to cover; Rooney in the center had been left open.
He raised his arm shouting, "Me! Me!"
Nani ignored the covering Mertesacker and struck powerfully!
The ball hit Mertesacker and bounced out.
Sagna and Rooney chased the loose ball; facing them were Arteta and Xia Qi.
Sagna was quick and positioned himself between Rooney and the ball.
Arteta leapt high, chested the ball down to Xia Qi.
Xia Qi's first touch sent the ball to Lukas Podolski.
Podolski advanced on the right, Xia Qi in the middle, Arshavin on the left, all sprinting forward.
United players poured back in a wave; both sides were now racing.
Past the halfway line, Podolski hit a through ball — threading it to Xia Qi's near post.
Ferdinand closed on Xia Qi, trying to prevent a dribble.
But Xia Qi's first touch — he played the ball straight into the left-half of the box.
Arshavin, at the front, slipped past Evans in full speed and slotted a driven shot.
The ball skidded low across the turf toward the near corner. David de Gea dived but could not get down well to the left bottom.
The ball brushed the left post and nest led in.
3:7!
"Arsenal quick on the break!"
"The Arsenal front three — Podolski on the right, Xia Qi in the middle, Arshavin on the left — formed a diagonal with Arshavin leading. One pass!"
"One through pass! The ball is at Arshavin's feet."
"Low drive!"
"Goal!"
"After Nani's shot was blocked, Arsenal needed only 12 seconds to complete a match-winning counter."
"In the 82nd minute Arsenal lead by four! Arsenal have effectively locked up the result. Manchester United's hopes of winning the derby tonight are dashed."
This goal finally extinguished the fighting spirit among United's players.
The United stands fell into silence.
Many fans had tears and looked up at the stadium LED in a daze.
Seven goals!
The Red Devils were slaughtered at home by Arsenal!
Last year (28 August 2011) it was here they thrashed Arsenal 8–2.
Then Wayne Rooney had a free-kick hat-trick and Ashley Young scored twice.
Now Arsenal had exacted their revenge.
"Xia Qi assisted a brace to seal the victory."
"Tonight, words like 'starlit' don't suffice. He is the bright moon; five goals and two assists tonight will go down in history."
"As the saying goes, everything is predestined — you buy me a bottle of Lafite, I'll buy you a 7-Up…"
"Manchester United players look bewildered; Xia Qi and his teammates have drained them of heart and spirit."
"The remaining minutes will be a torment for them; Arsenal fans are doing the Mexican wave while United fans start to leave early, even though there are still ten minutes to play…"
(END CHAPTER)
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