"I'll be getting this, this, and this."
As I left the Scummy Chief's home, he handed me twenty gold coins. Although I can't prove it, I know that scummy bastard forged them! The coloring is all wrong to be real gold, and his palms were so sweaty that the coins still reek.
Now I place some items on the counter of a bleak shop.
"You know your stuff, traveler. This katana, bag, and robe are the best in all of Utopia."
Thank you so much, Ogre Guy!
Finally information! I can't ask Father Fatty or Scummy Chief where I am without screaming at them that I'm not a Demi-God.
But now I know I am in Utopia... what the fuck is that? I was a slave in my past life and thrown into purgatory in this life, but still, I was known as a pretty smart guy throughout the academy, got straight A's, and all that. I have learned about every country, village, and continent in the Gods' realm, so my not knowing of this place only adds to its strangeness.
"That'll be five gold coins."
Five gold? So cheap! Well, I guess they are just mundane items... Wait—five gold for NON-MAGICAL gear? What a rip-off!
I begrudgingly hand over five gold coins from my money pouch, with no room for sidebar conversation. I will not be cursed! The forest beneath the village is cursed, and that is a fact. These villagers all act very strangely, and that is another fact! Who knows if they can spread a curse on me through their slimy words. Ew!
I grab my items and turn to leave, and I nearly jump out of my shoes. An angry-looking squirt, probably 1.7 meters tall with freckles and... blonde hair? The first non-bald person in the village! Wow, he must be a shiny!
"You sold him a weapon!" Squirt points through me and shouts at the Ogre guy.
Ogre guy sighs.
"For the last time, Blake, I am not selling you a weapon. Now get out of my store, you runt!"
There seems to be a long-standing conflict between Ogre guy and Squirt, so I make my swift exit to avoid any chance of getting dragged into it. After all, I am on a mission to see my father's head on a spike, not a mission to care about this Squirt or his weapon. Though he is intriguing... I'll make a mental note of him.
Ah, the fresh air.
Outside the shop, I take a moment for myself, just to enjoy life. Life really is excellent. I had my first full meal earlier, albeit shitty meat from a boar hunter who had caught it. And besides some minor problems that will arise soon, my future looks bright!
Whack!
The shop's door flies open.
"You're a Demi-God!"
Ah shit.
I turn and see Squirt pointing at me, his face half-shocked, but mostly amazed.
"Uh, no."
"No, no, no, you got the wrong guy." I walk away while humming my favorite tune.
"Yes, you are! The shopkeeper just told me, and he is not a liar!"
Geez Louise, can this guy leave me alone? I turn around again, this time much angrier.
"I am. So you shouldn't talk to me like this, Squirt. I could kill you right here for that!"
He doesn't back down, now inches from my face.
"Oh yeah, well my name's Blake, not Squirt. And you don't look much like a Demi-God, you frail-looking ass."
"What!" I gasp, appalled at this brat's boldness, okay, maybe a little impressed, but I am not frail!
"Shouldn't you go back to begging the shopkeeper to sell you a weapon. I think a few more begs and you had him!"
"Oh shut up!" His blue eyes lit up. "Let me join you! I don't care where you go or what you do, but I'm tired of this village! Everyone is so weird!"
I shake my head. "No, I am going to Olympus. No mortal can enter, not that I'd let someone like you travel with me anyway."
"But I'm not a mor—"
"Did you say Olympus?"
Who is this? A very elderly man, bald and hunchbacked, of course, suddenly interjects. My gaze lowers to his, but for some reason, I'm the one who's wavering. I... I don't want to look at him!
"That's right, Olympus!" Blake shouts. "Now beat it, old man!"
"Hehehehe."
Hunchback's maniacal laughter curls my insides into tight knots; instinctively, I jump backward, katana raised, my breath heavy. I don't know why this fucking mortal has me on the edge of my toes, but he does! And my instincts are never wrong—well, not since I told Baldy there wouldn't be a demon guarding the Book of Creation, but that doesn't count!
Shit! He suddenly starts shaking like a damn demon is trying to crawl out of him. AHHHH, that might be the case!
"Olympus... Olympus... Olympus, Olympus, Olympus, Olympus!"
He's cursed.
It is not a demon. Instead, the hunchback's body begins to bubble—I hear wet tar popping—his face expands, and his skin turns black with orange underneath. By the time he's finished chanting Olympus and shaking, he grows to over four meters tall, has a completely fucked-up face, and long limbs that are charred black.
"What is going on!" Squirt screams.
Hunchback groans, then his face shakes and shakes and shakes. Shit! White feathered wings burst from my back, just in time to fly over molten lava that is spit from his mouth. The lava tears a hole clean through the shop, revealing that Ogre guy has also mutated into one of these fucked-up lava spitters. Damn it! I sort of like that guy.
I turn in the air and sigh.
Every goddamn person in this village has turned into a lava spitter... besides Squirt, who is surrounded.
I toss my bag and new robe on the roof of a bamboo building, and flap to the sky. Why can't this village just be normal? You know, a welcoming town for someone who's been through hell.
I stop just short of the clouds.
Then I angle my head downward and position my wings behind me. Falcon dive! I always wanted to try this.
I fall and fall fast! The wind slaps across my face, and I don't know if I'll even survive at this point. I'm going too fast! Constant booms and explosions erupt from the village below.
Haha, get ready! Foul creatures!
At the one-hundred-meter mark, I spread out my wings and pull up just in time. Hovering two meters above the dirt road, I am moving! Everything is a blur. I stick my sword out in front of me and aim for the black and orange sons of bitches.
I slice through one, and another! They don't even stand a chance!
Then I see a sad scene. NO! Not Fatty Child and Fatty Father! He still has his lollipop!
My speed slows, and I hesitate. They're not facing me, but facing... why is there a wild tiger with blue stripes and white fur?
This tiger is tearing through at least a dozen of these lava spitters.
What am I doing...
Without any hesitation, I cleanly run my blade through Fatty Child's and Fatty Father's neck. The lollipop falls to the dirt, and I don't cry!
But out of the corner of my eye, I do see a notification.
Level three unlocked.