Next day, April 6th.
Afternoon.
Night, in other words, for a vampire, so as usual both Kissshot and I
were sleeping in the abandoned cram school's second-floor classroom, the
one with the blocked windows.
I was roused out of bed. By Mèmè Oshino, who hadn't come home the
previous night or even shown himself to us. Who knows where that humble
attitude of his from yesterday had gone, as he was now laughing away in his
usual, sleazy way.
"Morning, Araragi."
"...I can't begin to describe how sleepy I am."
"Yeah, yeah. Over this way."
I was pulled out into the hallway, my eyes still blurry─while Kissshot
dozed away, not even turning over in her sleep, despite our chattering.
What a peaceful soul. Did she never worry?
"What is it, Oshino?"
"Hm? Er, I don't know about the hallway... I'm sure Heartunderblade
won't wake up, but let's go upstairs, just to be safe. Up to the fourth floor."
"The fourth floor..." As drowsy as I felt, I was still capable of making
judgments. "The windows are open up there. What do you think is going to
happen once the sun hits me?"
"Don't worry. It's raining today."
"Raining?"
Huh.
Now that I thought about it, it hadn't rained in a while. Unless it had
been while I was unconscious before turning into a vampire, this was the first
time during spring break.
Or maybe it had rained during some of the twelve-hour afternoon
stretches that I slept through... I wasn't looking at the weather report, so I
wasn't sure.
"So it's fine. And with your healing abilities, even in the off-chance that
the sun hits you, it's not like you'll die on the spot, eh?"
"Tell me that after you've had your body evaporate once."
"C'mon, let's go."
Oshino began to wander up the stairs, and I followed him, careful of my
step. It didn't seem to matter what classroom we went into as long as we
were on the fourth floor, and Oshino chose the closest door. Once he finally
got the thing, with its broken knob, to open, we were greeted by a tragically
messy room. He didn't have the luckiest fingers.
"Hup!"
But he seemed to ignore this fact entirely, dragging a random seat over
and sitting on it backwards.
I did the same. Out of a vague impulse to imitate him.
"...That."
I pointed at the Boston bag Oshino held. My eyes were focused at last. It
was the same bag that had held Kissshot's right leg and Kissshot's left leg.
Which meant...
"Yep," Oshino nodded. "Absolutely correct. Both of Heartunderblade's
arms are inside."
"...I see."
Relieved, I took a deep sigh. After Oshino hadn't returned by morning, I
was concerned that just maybe Guillotine Cutter didn't intend to return
Kissshot's arms.
For her part, Kissshot barely seemed to care and went to sleep with a
"Morning, is it? Time to sleep."
A peaceful soul─without a single worry.
That, or I was faint-hearted.
But this was Guillotine Cutter, the man who had called both Dramaturgy
and Episode "honest fools" for returning Kissshot's right and left legs,
respectively. It seemed entirely possible that he'd renege on his promises.
No matter how much I fretted, my only option was to hope Oshino could
take care of it─
"Hm? Oh, I know what you want to say, Araragi. You're surprised that
Guillotine Cutter kept his promise, right?"
"Well, to be direct about it, yes."
"That's where my skills come into play. I am a negotiator, after
all─though to spoil it, Guillotine Cutter didn't actually seem to be interested
in returning them."
"After all."
"He was being pretty stingy─no surprise there. Unlike the other two,
Guillotine Cutter was acting out of duty."
"Duty, huh." I recalled the many lines he'd delivered. "Still, is that how
you act when you think you're one of the good guys?"
"Everyone has their own definition of good. You shouldn't be so quick
to repudiate others─he was a villain to you, that's all. And, despite all he
said, in the end..."
Oshino tossed the Boston bag in front of me. Roughly, like it was
luggage.
"He did give it back."
"I'm amazed he did."
"Like I said, I had to convince him."
"How? He's basically a fanatic─or maybe a fantasist to my non-
religious eyes. For him, isn't returning a vampire's limbs like abandoning his
faith?"
"Like I said, these guys will listen if you talk to them. They're pros,
after all."
"Pros, you say."
"Yes, professionals."
My cross-examination must have been starting to annoy Oshino; he tried
to bring an end to it with that word.
"Specifically, I told him about how you wanted to turn back into a
human after collecting Heartunderblade's limbs─and how Heartunderblade
had agreed."
"...So you're saying Guillotine Cutter backed down for my sake?"
"That's one way to put it, I guess," Oshino said somewhat vaguely. He
seemed to be insinuating something, but then I remembered that this was a
guy who spoke in an awfully insinuating tone no matter the time or place. It
didn't seem very meaningful to take it at face value.
His know-it-all pose could be just that─a pose.
In any case, it was a good thing that Kissshot's parts had been returned.
Normally, that would be all, no further discussion necessary. I didn't want to
have to think of Guillotine Cutter again.
I undid the zipper of the Boston bag. Inside were─her right arm, from
the elbow down, and her entire left arm, torn off from the joint of its
shoulder.
"I did at least make sure he could save face. Of course, I also gave him a
very strong warning about kidnapping missy class president. If this were a
game of soccer, that would've earned him a yellow card."
"A red card, you mean."
"Maybe a red card if he'd killed her. Episode would've received one if
she'd died after what he did─but then, you tried to kill Episode, so let's call it
even."
"It wasn't like I was trying to─"
To kill him, I wanted to say, but stopped myself short of the end.
That was a lie, plain and simple.
I'd lost my temper and couldn't help it─or actually, I didn't even care
what happened.
If Oshino hadn't stopped me, I probably would have─killed Episode.
I did try─to kill him.
"Er, well."
"What? You're so spirited today, Araragi, raising your voice one second
and muffling it the next. Something good happen to you today?" Oshino said
as if to sweep things under the rug, before taking a peek at the arms inside the
Boston bag and pointing to them with his unlit cigarette. "Anyway─I guess
this makes all four of her limbs that you've fetched. Congratulations, Araragi.
Mission complete. I'm as happy for you as if this concerned yourself."
"A little more empathy, please?"
"Well, it's not my problem, is it."
"..."
Sure. It wasn't his problem.
"I'm impressed, I really am─a mere high school student with no combat
experience whatsoever took on three veteran vampire-hunting specialists and
defeated all three in a row. I must take my hat off to you."
"You don't wear a hat."
"It's a figure of speech," Oshino said, putting his cigarette in his mouth.
He didn't light it.
"...I know this might be a pointless question, but─Oshino, why don't
you ever light your cigarettes?"
"Hm? Well, if I did, it'd be harder to adapt into an anime, right?"
"..."
Why did he care so much about an anime adaptation? It was a complete
mystery to me.
"Now now, Araragi. I'm telling you congratulations, but you seem
awfully sullen. You accomplished your goal, that's something to be happy
about! It's like you're at a wake or something."
"I still feel doubtful, Oshino," I said.
It was about─one of the things that bugged me.
I'd been going back and forth on whether to ask Oshino, but now, face
to face with his carefree attitude, it felt idiotic to be mulling it over.
If there was something I wanted to ask, I needed to go ahead.
If he wouldn't give an answer, then that was that.
"It's about Guillotine Cutter."
"Hm."
"Well, I understand in theory─he underestimated me in yesterday's
battle, and as a result I was able to beat him without even getting wounded. I
understand that in theory, but Oshino, it's like you just said. A single attack
from a mere high schooler who'd transformed his body for the first time
ever─that was all it took to defeat someone as dangerous as him? A man who
stole both arms away from a legendary vampire?"
"Mm."
"And actually, it's not just Guillotine Cutter. It's the same for
Dramaturgy and Episode. They each took Kissshot's right leg and left
leg─but when you look at what ended up happening, they were easily
defeated by me, someone who, as you said, has no combat experience, who's
only ever been in scuffles with his little sister─how could that be?"
I got lucky, you could say.
That it was a fluke.
But─wasn't there a more constructive answer?
"Is it that they're weak? Or am I─too strong?"
While I asked the question, I had no guess as to what the answer might
be. It baffled me, plain and simple.
But─and I didn't know why─I felt like Oshino knew the answer.
Because he was more neutral than anyone else. Because he was someone who
tried to maintain a balance─
"It's both," he said, sure enough. "From their perspective, you're just
too strong─and from your perspective, they're just too weak. After all, you're
the thrall of none other than Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade."
"But is that really the only reason?"
"It's the only reason," he, Mèmè Oshino, asserted. "If you're looking for
a reason why an amateur like yourself was able to defeat them, that's the only
one─still, there was a very real chance you'd lose. In fact, the odds were
heavily stacked against you. You were quite impressive out there, Araragi."
"Heavily stacked against me? You brought the situation back to fifty-
fifty, didn't you?"
It was about balance.
I had been granted the locational advantage, killing had been
forbidden─and when Hanekawa was kidnapped, I was alerted to a tactic to
make up for Guillotine Cutter having that much of an edge.
He made sure that things were fifty-fifty.
But.
"But I'm saying it doesn't make sense if that's true. If you start off with
that premise─it stops making sense."
"Stops making sense, how?"
"I'm this strong as a thrall. If Kissshot was in full power mode─how
could those three stand a chance against her even if they all attacked at the
same time?"
That was my gut feeling.
Even if you went with the lowest possible estimation of Kissshot's
power as a vampire in her regular form, there was no way she could be
weaker than me─and on top of that, she had five hundred years of
experience.
Five hundred years of experience.
Combat experience.
Dramaturgy's wavy greatswords, Episode's giant cross, Guillotine
Cutter's fearsome underhandedness─even together, could they rob Kissshot
Acerolaorion Heartunderblade of her limbs?
I could only arrive at one conclusion.
It seemed─impossible.
Like there'd be no way.
"You've got good intuition, Araragi─keep at it, and you might turn out
to be quite the expert," Oshino said with a sly grin.
Just as I thought that he had no intention of answering me seriously, he
proved me wrong.
He continued─and answered my question. "You're exactly right,
Araragi. Those three must have decided to attack her together because they
knew they stood no chance of defeating Heartunderblade individually, but
even together, they still would have had no chance of defeating
Heartunderblade. Only..."
"Only?"
"If Heartunderblade wasn't at her full power at that moment─things
would be different, yes?"
Not at her full power.
Those words began to summon something from within my memories. I
didn't even need to mess with my brain to remember─Kissshot had
mentioned it herself.
She had felt under the weather─or something along those lines.
I had thought it was an excuse.
But what if it wasn't?
"So when Heartunderblade faced those three─it was a fifty-fifty fight,"
Oshino said.
"..."
"Well, I was planning on giving this to you whether you asked or
not─but I'm glad, Araragi. Giving this to you after you've asked me makes
things flow smoother. You can be pretty sharp sometimes, Araragi."
Then, Oshino pulled something out of his Hawaiian shirt pocket and
tossed it in my direction. I thought he was throwing his box of cigarettes at
me, but that wasn't it. At any rate, I couldn't see how the pocket of Oshino's
Hawaiian shirt could fit something that big inside of it.
It was a chunk of bright red meat─it was a heart.
"Eek...!"
I cowered and nearly let it fall from my hands─but somehow managed
to maintain enough composure not to. I maintained it but found myself frozen
to the spot.
Yet while I stood there, frozen─
Badum badum, the heart continued to pound.
"The heart of Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade," Oshino said.
"She'd fought those vampire hunters one-on-three without it─so it's
understandable that she got her limbs torn off."
"...!"
Of course it was understandable.
Even I understood that a vampire's power owed to her blood. So without
a heart, the most vital element in the delivery of that blood─it was more
surprising that all she did was lose her limbs.
"...She hasn't noticed, has she," I said.
"Probably not. She thinks that all she's missing is her limbs─and
probably that it really was her not feeling her best that had nearly gotten her
killed. She's too confident─the thought that the rug had been pulled out from
under her would never cross her mind."
"Ah...so that's how it was." Huh. "I knew Guillotine Cutter was a crafty
one, but stealing Kissshot's heart from under her nose? So they piled on her
afterwards? Well, taking Kissshot's heart without her noticing must have
been pretty hard work. Maybe I should be more impressed by that?"
"No, no, Araragi," Oshino disagreed. Pretty smoothly. "It wasn't
Guillotine Cutter who took her heart."
"Huh? What? So did Dramaturgy or Episode steal it and give it to
Guillotine Cutter for safekeeping?"
"No, no, no, no. It wasn't Dramaturgy or Episode, either."
"Then who was it?"
The spine-chilling thought ran through my head that perhaps a fourth
vampire hunter would make his appearance─but Oshino's reply consisted of
a single syllable.
"Me."
"..."
For a moment, I was speechless.
A number of lines came to me, but I kept them all to myself, none of
them seeming cut out for the occasion. Then, without any prompt, Oshino
began explaining─and he sounded like the villain of some historical drama
giving his soliloquy.
"Yes, I did really start out as a passerby─wandering the streets at night,
I found an incredibly powerful vampire, one who was certainly no laughing
matter. It wasn't hard at all for me to guess that she was the aberration slayer,
so I plucked out her heart─in order to balance things."
Because he also guessed, he noted, that a number of vampire hunters
would have come to this town as well.
"I plucked out her heart─quietly, so that she wouldn't notice."
"You're...up to such a task?" I asked, recognizing how stupid the
question was as soon as it left my mouth─why, the proof was right in front of
me.
Moreover, Oshino had stopped a triple attack from Dramaturgy,
Episode, and Guillotine Cutter in a jokey pose, looking like a one-legged
scarecrow.
It was because he had such skills that he could─negotiate with those
three.
"I am," Oshino replied. "I'm not saying that it was easy or
anything─and it wasn't just hard work, it was absolutely backbreaking. It was
especially hard to do it so that she wouldn't notice. I brought a cross, some
garlic, and holy water as my weapons and somehow managed to conceal
myself. But even after all of that, I still didn't know how it would shake out.
The odds were no greater and no lesser than fifty-fifty─the dice just
happened to fall in the favor of those three."
"...And after Kissshot, all four of her limbs torn off, barely escaped with
her life─she met me."
"And held onto it thanks to your blood," Oshino said. "And you became
a vampire."
"...I see. So─it's not strange at all that I could defeat those three."
Forget about it not being strange, it made more sense. The difference in
raw ability was absolute.
"So was telling Kissshot about an abandoned cram school she could use
as a hideout your idea of atoning for it? Even going so far as to put a barrier
around the place while we were inside─"
"Atoning for it? I didn't commit any sin. Again, it was a question of
balance. Your participation changed the state of the game."
"The state of the game?"
"I never expected the aberration slayer to make a human her thrall. That
was far afield of my expectations. I'd thought the story had ended for me at
the point when I removed her heart, but that reset everything."
"Reset..."
Now that he mentioned it─those three had said something similar. That
it was totally unexpected for Kissshot to create a thrall─
A notion, or something. She had some notion about not creating thralls.
"But while the situation may have been reset, Heartunderblade had now
become too weak. One against three, or two against three even if we included
you, her thrall, wasn't lending itself to any equilibrium."
"...So, happening to pass by Kissshot as she dragged me, happening to
pass by as I was being attacked by those three, that was all on purpose? Your
coming on stage didn't seem to have any rhyme or reason, so I was
wondering─but that was how it was?"
Teaching Kissshot about this abandoned cram school, saving me from
those three, all in order to achieve a balance─so that's how it was.
"Oh no, that was just by chance," Oshino said in a teasing tone. "It just
means you two were lucky."
"..."
While I thought there was no way that could be true, part of me also
thought that maybe it was.
A phenomenon could only be observed after the fact.
"So─even if Kissshot gets all of her limbs back, she won't be able to
return to full power?"
Even if she got them back. Her right leg, her left leg, both of her arms. If
she still lacked her heart─that was fatal.
"But of course," Oshino agreed with a nod. "Which is why you were
going to get her heart back from me next─because even with the aberration
slayer's arms, you'd have been the more powerful vampire. It was with the
fourth fight─the one between me and you─that the balance was to be
restored."
"...I-I have to─fight you?"
"You were going to."
"Going to?"
"Constantly being referred to as 'a slob' by you, I turn out, in fact, to be
the 'last boss'─but my careful foreshadowing went to waste."
"Where is the care in that?"
It didn't pan out. Even if they had a number of letters in common.
Plus, I didn't recall ever calling him a slob. Sleazy, maybe, but still not
to his face.
I guess he knew he came across that way, without having to be told...
"I'm skipping that part."
This time, Oshino lazily used his lips to move his cigarette, still in his
mouth, downward to point at the heart in my hands.
"See, I've already given it back to you."
"Wh-Whaa?"
"If you want to talk about atonement, now that's atonement. I really am
sorry about missy class president. I wasn't joking when I said it's rare for
regular humans to get themselves this involved in a situation. Normally,
humans run from aberrations. There's something a little off about that girl.
You can't explain her actions through goodness alone─"
"..."
Tsubasa Hanekawa.
Not self-sacrifice─but self-satisfaction.
Even after she was nearly killed by Guillotine Cutter...
She was considerate.
After it was over, too, she didn't have a single word of blame for me. In
fact, she said something ridiculous like "Sorry for getting captured so easily,
I should have kept my eyes open."
"To be completely frank with you," Oshino muttered, almost to himself,
"I find that degree of kindness creepy."
"...Seriously? That's no way to put it."
"I'm sure you feel the same way. Don't you?" he asked, once again
acting like he saw through me.
But yes, it was true. I'd said something similar to Hanekawa.
And despite the fact that I had─Hanekawa hadn't changed a bit.
"...It's like she's forcing herself to be a good person. Of course, that
doesn't mean I can blame missy class president for what happened to her. In
the end, it was my plan that saved her, but it was you who carried it out,
Araragi, and I don't believe yesterday night is enough to atone for it." During
the brief moments he spent saying these words, Oshino looked solemn─just
like the day before. "What a blunder. That was so bad that you could hold
every Oshino who lives in Japan accountable for it."
"It was your mistake, don't drag every Oshino living in Japan into it."
"Ha hah. Anyway, consider that heart as reparations, Araragi. My way
of showing you just how sincere I am."
"Reparations..."
"It's part of our trusting relationship. And with this, balance has been
restored─though there are still a few kinks here and there."
Saying so, Oshino stood from his seat.
"Her right leg. Her left leg. Her right arm. Her left arm. And her heart.
Now you've recovered all of Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade's lost
parts. In other words, now you can go back to being human. Allow me to
congratulate you once more. It's okay for you to be happy, you know?"
"...Honestly, I feel conflicted," I said. "It's almost like it was all fixed."
"You're overthinking it. If someone fixed this whole situation, then I
probably belong to the fixed side."
"I don't see it that way."
"Whether you do or don't, that's the reality. You overestimate me a bit
in ways, Araragi. Even I have things that I can and cannot do. I may be the
genius type, but I'm not actually a genius."
"..."
What an annoyingly misleading type.
"I may have prepared situations, but I didn't preordain them. Oh, and by
the way. This is simply out of curiosity, Araragi, but haven't you felt hungry
lately?"
"Huh? No─I think I told you earlier, but I haven't felt very hungry since
becoming a vampire. I think it might be the immortality?"
"I see."
"Why do you ask?"
"Hm? Oh, do mind."
"So I should."
"I think it's time you started to feel hungry. It's already been two
weeks─ha hah. That was rough, eh... All right, Araragi. Be careful not to do
anything rash again after you turn back into a human. Once a person has
encountered an aberration, he gets dragged in more easily henceforth, so do
be careful."
With that, Oshino began heading to the exit, leaving behind me as well
as his chair, which he didn't even bother to return to the original position.
"Hey, what's your deal? Don't make it sound like you're done with this
place."
"But I am done. My work here is over─it ended in failure, but what's
done is done, what's over is over. Oh, Araragi. That's right. About your two
million yen and missy class president's three million, five million yen in
total. Consider it paid 'n done."
"L-Lazy...bum?"
"No, that's me. Paid. And. Done. Offset, canceled out. I'm making up
for my mistake with Heartunderblade's heart and─well, that might already be
enough, but consider it a bonus."
"..."
"No need to look at me like that, I don't have any secret motives. I'm
more generous than you might think when it comes to money. I'm not going
to complain as long as we have balance. So send my regards to missy class
president."
"You're going to go without ever meeting her?"
"Yep. I guess this is gonna end without us ever meeting─but there's no
need for us to go out of our way to meet each other."
"Maybe so. But now that everything is over with those three, it's not like
there's any danger of getting her mixed up in anything, is there?"
"Even so, it'd be awkward for us to meet at this point."
Plus, Oshino added.
On top of that.
"That girl does creep me out," he said, unambiguously─and harshly.
Oshino laughed a merry laugh as if to change the topic.
"Well, I still plan on wandering around this town for a while longer. Say
hi if you see me. If you can't stop yourself from feeling indebted to me
because I called off your payment─well, why not look into tales of
aberrations that have been handed down in this town, so you can teach me
about them? That's what my real specialty is supposed to be. I want to be
done with all the hack and slash─it's not my style, it really isn't."
Oshino kept walking at the same pace, opening the door with the broken
knob, exiting out into the hallway, and closing the door again even as he said
all that.
He didn't say goodbye.
Now that I thought about it─I'd never seen him utter parting words to
anyone. Even for the most innocuous of partings, all he ever did was chuckle
and smirk.
"Is he serious?"
Feel indebted to him?
Was he serious?
Of course I didn't feel indebted─whether or not he'd fixed everything,
he was part of the reason we'd gotten into this fix.
Of course─he'd saved us too.
No. If I said that to him, I knew what he'd say in reply.
We just saved ourselves on our own.
"...So now I've got her right arm, her left arm, and her heart."
Both of her arms from Guillotine Cutter.
Her heart from Mèmè Oshino.
All of the missing pieces had been collected.
At last, it was time for the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, yet cold-blooded
vampire Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, the aberration slayer─to be
fully restored.