So I've re-experienced a old, familiar and funny part of my life I've dealt with a woman I consider my ex-wife, but I won't name because it's basically the same pattern, except this time the christian kid can rap and was a dude instead of a woman. So now the church is mad I was gay at work. As per usual when there's a cute man I enjoy too hard.
Anyway, here's the usual dynamic. It begins with us having some conversation about politics I barely remember. I think he's a communist. Is it real? Fuck no, he's a two-faced Angela of the church. As in he pretends to be cool like me, then churches me the next day about my work habits or my politics. Fucking douche.
Anyway, been there, done that with a woman. So I just enjoyed it and had some sweet conversations about small talks I honestly barely remember. But I enjoyed the vibe.
I will admit there were some intriguing moments. Like let's begin with the traumatic edgy memes I mentioned, and how they escalated.
"So like, there's a Vampire Store Owner (I forgot the name lol) show that came out where he's always being charismatic with his store." Teah, Sora's Wife, says warmly.
"Ah yeah, I love that concept." I say happily.
Then the demon on my shoulder whispers hard "Be edgy. Traumatize people so they don't try robbing you."
"So like, I've like really hard about how cool of a combat system a store is like. Does he ever fight with the store?" I say happily with gleeful tinges of malice.
She stares at me, mildly traumatized.
"No, he's just charismatic." she says, mildly tense.
"Ah that's still cool, I love that concept. You can do a lot with that concept. Like make meals or cure them with medicine." I say warmly.
I get back to work. This is a pattern. Why? I hate people. And intimidation works wonders. Especially when you're smart with a fucking meme that is Chemistry that can basically be fucking magic if I'm bored enough to try explaining that fucking, the store's system for chemistry is designed around your work habits. As in be a good worker, more chemistry happens. It is not a meme. Literally I don't know why, I blame either the Illuminati is epic as fuck. Or magic is real. And honestly, after dealing with chapters two and three, magic is real here.
So as always, we groom ourselves. And decide to try being wizards based on memeonics. And basically realize I'm a God of this place already. Cause honestly, I've been through the memes of traumatized terrorists being mad at me and explaining such bullshit. Like my favorite one I learned while watching A Certain Magical Index.
Basically at level one of chemistry warfare, I am that anime character. As in I am stagnant air that makes the store too functional. I am a God of Anti-Poison. And my touch and my thought patterns along with my knowledge of the store lets me negate things or take them on to an extent.
Literally as mentioned before I think, my ultimate negates are things like my bloodstream plus magnesium into a burst of gas to melt your fucking gun's bullets. Cause literally blood plus magnesium melts bullets.
I just groomed myself by memorizing that and it works. Especially if you use cleaning products. But there's a major catch. Dollar General binds you to the planet, and America. As in I am Illuminati unconsciously sometimes. It is a fucking annoying thing. It basically happens cause of one of two things.
Oh no Standy, we're gonna fucking freeze your bank account unless you do this specific deed. Also I'm making your church girlfriend/boyfriend break up with you. Unless you do what I say.
Option 2, I like actually agree with them. Which never happens under Trump. Or anyone really. I just show up and do terrorism and get teleported away cause that's the real meme.
I'm chemically bonded to the teleport system of the government they meme about in warhammer land as the Webway. Which is a Webway of Capitalism. Which guess what? It's just fucking every mainstream store you've ever seen in a commercial, and some factories that can have ulterior motives as making weapons.
And unfortunately using too much DG stuff marks you as a Government Worker. As in they can track you very easily, good luck avoiding them. Especially cause it's utter bullshit. You need to use cleaning products to make your GPS work. That's why people hate DG and stores with cleaning products. When you can use a GPS, you can be tracked at all times.
Anyway, enough paranoia and Groomer God Illuminati memes. Let's discuss my new Ex-Boyfriend, Nathan. He was a fake drug dealer meme this time that was fun to chat with. We ended up escalating to where he pretended to be a martial artist. He knew enough to be real but his stories were so dumb, he's like, a Metal Gear Solid, Mortal Kombat Meme.
"So like, I did Mokap and VR training with the military to learn martial arts. And how to be a soldier and kill people with guns and stuff." Nathan says warmly.
"Wow, that's cool Raiden." I say, amused and warm.
So two things. One, Mokap is a meme character from Mortal Kombat Apocalypse I think. Or some shit. Anyway, he's just their fucking motion capture guy fighting like, kind of a r@t@rd honestly. He was a meme. He was literally in the mokap suit which is a black skin suit covered in cotton balls which is actually raw. And unfortunately triggers illuminati trauma again that creates nudists.
So those cotton balls are debated on if they're soaked in chemicals to make Mokap (Motion Capture) work better for capturing motions to make animating body motions in video games and movies and what not easier. It's stereoscoping, where the machine records a human doing the basic motions and then the animated character such as Handsome Jack does the motion in the game or movie.
You still have to make the art for the character, but this traumatizes people for a reason. Rockstar Employees once claimed they know the Mokap works without the Mokap chemicals on American Clothes. Every time. Unless they're naked. And even then, you have to do shit like scrap your skin off of years of chemicals to get rid of the GPS signal, which means it still works to an extent while naked.
Anyway, more slice of life.
"So like, what's your fighting style?" Nathan says warmly.
"I'm like Steven Segal. I don't do flips and shit, I'm barely athletic." I say warmly.
We both show off a few basic things while talking during this.
"I'm a wrestler man, you should learn wrestling." Nathan says warmly.
"I know a bit from the WWE. But honestly I'm a boxer, I do Hard Martial Arts." I say warmly.
"Yeah, well I do soft." Nathan says cockily.
I hate to say this, but it's annoying raw if it's true Nathan does Soft Martial Arts. Soft Martial Arts is a combination of advanced chemistry and being really good at slamming people into shit. Like the concrete floor of my Dollar General Store. Or any floor really, it still hurts like shit on dirt. It is not a meme, he actually has a bit of an advantage on me if he can do Judo well.
Now then the next day, I come in early. Why? I beefed with my dad over apparently arguing too hard with his new fiance over dumb shit. It was about my room dirty and me being weird with a log. Which I admit, I deserve that about the log. I did Dollar General Brand chemistry to melt a log, so I deserve being mad at for that. They can guilt trip me about that if they want.
So I decided to do a classic Runaway Child of Capitalism meme. And go to work way too early. At 12PM instead of 4PM cause we needed to cool off a bit. Which worked a bit well for now.
Anyway, while at work that day, we had a ultimate cute moment. I leaned on him too hard while he kept bumping me away. And well, it was really cute.
But then he did the Church meme of "I've outed you as gay. Now to own you're a fagg3t and make you forgotten."
His main memes were saying stupid shit and making the cashier till be fucking stupid.
"Hey Stan, answer the phone." Nathan says like an amused jester.
"No, I'm a Sales Associate, Sora said not to answer the phone." I snap angrily.
I storm off and go back to stocking the line too hard. He makes me come back and man the cash register while he runs off for some dumb shit. I see the till. It has 17 ones left and only big bills. I rant really hard which causes a dumb argument.
"Nathan, I'm gonna have to go card only with purchases if you don't fix the till. You know how boomers are, we can't be autistic with their money. They'll scream at me and we don't even have our Manager in today yet." I snap angrily.
"We can't refill the till, just relax." Nathan teases nervously.
"Dude, we're going Card Only if you don't fix the till. And exact change only." I snap angrily.
"Dude, you better not. I'll write you up." Nathan snaps angrily.
We're glaring intensely at each other now in front of customers.
"Bro, you know how boomers are. I'm not doing that autism and trying to do a cash drawer with fucking 17 ones and the only other dollar bills are 50s and 100s. That's such autism, it's cringe af. I'm going card only." I snap angrily.
We basically repeat the argument while I storm off to do more stocking when he takes the cash register back over. And I avoid it too hard. To the point it's a meme. When I come back. Cause everyone uses their card in a row.
Which honestly doesn't surprise me. Want to know something weird? The world of the internet spreads memes too fast, including me making this story sometimes. Wanna know why? We're bored, people want bio-pics of life. And it gets me views with Anarcho-Capitalism, so let's rock!
Anyway, other than that, only one interesting thing happened which is such magic land BS you won't believe me.
A 7 foot tall, all black man, like pitch black, confronted Nathan at the cash register. Which I have a few explanations for.
Option 1, that is someone's stand for Dollar General. As in DG admits that the best Employees and Gluttons of the Church that is Dollar General get weird chemistry bullshit that is basically Araki Jojo Stands. I wish I was fucking lying, but this shit is real to an extent.
Option 2, that was a government agent that overdosed on the whole pain fridge that is Dollar General to threaten Nathan's life.
Option 3, that was a man that was poisoned and basically got a fucked up level up that barely got calmed down. And honestly, that's me again. Cause level 1 of my chemistry warfare is I sedate people and Groom them with chemistry spiderwebs and psychic patterns. And also they just see too many memes of me on the internet being a terrorist like now, and they say stuff like "I fucking hate Jacob Hemlock's/Standy Valentine's fucking memes bros. Magic better not be real.
Oh it's real sometimes. And it's fucking annoying at a store. Cause there's only one way to be a king of Dollar General or any store. You live in the store too hard. You at least eat it's food and use it's chemicals. Hard. And even then, honestly it isn't supposed to go that hard actively. It's a passive defense system that's very aggressive based on other people's anarchy. Especially after enough grooming sessions from the right videogames and subliminal messages from the mind reading devices in games like Asura's Wrath.
Take care guys. Hope you aren't too traumatized. Just be a normal civilian, be clean, eat good name brand food. And you'll be fine. Probably. I dunno, it's not always true, but it's funny. DG just admits you've beaten everything already if you can handle robitussin.