Bai Ji (Lia)
"Can you pay attention to where the fuck you're going?" I snapped.
"You bumped into me," a deep, low voice replied.
I recognised it instantly.
I looked up—and smiled before I could stop myself.
"Your Majesty."
He smiled back at me.
"You were really lost in your thoughts, not paying attention to where you were going," he said gently.
"My lady has been distracted all day. I thought she might be hoping to see Your Majesty," my maid suddenly said to the emperor.
The emperor looked at her, taken aback for a moment, while I could feel my cheeks burning.
"That's enough," I snapped at her.
"I'm just saying the truth," my maid replied in a low voice—but I was sure he heard it.
When I looked at the emperor, he was already watching me. And while my cheeks burnt, while I was certain I looked like a tomato, his eyes brightened and his shoulders relaxed.
For a moment, I didn't know how to react. I wanted to deny it. But the words got stuck in my throat.
Why was it so hard to say it wasn't true?
Maybe because it would be a lie.
If I thought about today… it was exactly how she said it.
God. My mind is spiralling. I feel like I'm going insane.
"Where are you headed?" he asked gently, his deep voice breaking the silence.
"I'm walking back to my room," I replied.
"I'll walk you there," he said.
I found myself wanting to smile—and I hated that I wanted to.
"Okay," I said as we started walking.
I glanced at him and noticed the exhaustion on his face. "You look tired."
"It was a long day," he said.
"I bet it wasn't easy," I replied, still looking at him instead of where I was going.
"It never is", he said, then added, "What did you do today?"
"Uh…"
How the hell was I supposed to answer that?
For me, it had been pure chaos.
If I said needlework and painting, he might want to see it.
"Uh… you know. Stuff. Trying to kill time."
"Aha. Doing stuff", he repeated.
"My lady, maybe you can show the needlework and the painting—" my maid started.
She was going to be the death of me.
I shot her a sharp look. She immediately shut up and lowered her gaze.
"Needlework and painting?" the emperor asked, clearly interested.
No.
"I tried, but… it turned out ugly, so I threw it away," I lied.
The emperor glanced at my maid, maybe hoping she'd contradict me—but she looked at me, then back at him, and said nothing.
"Your Majesty", the eunuch announced, "an official is waiting in the court hall."
Only then did I notice him standing there—along with a servant beside him.
The emperor didn't react. He didn't even look their way. He kept walking.
"Now you've really made me curious about the painting and the needlework," he said to me, completely ignoring them.
"Well—" I started, but the servent interrupted this time.
"Your Majesty, the official insists it's important," the servant said, rushing the emperor.
The emperor stopped.
We all stopped.
I turned slightly to look at him—and I understood instantly why the eunuch and the servant were terrified.
His jaw was clenched. His hands curled into fists.
He was boiling.
This was bad.
I placed my hand on his arm. He looked at me. His jaw softened—just a little.
"Duty calls", I said gently. "We can talk later. Even though there's nothing to show—I threw it away—we can talk later. Duty comes first."
I tried to smile.
But I could feel it wasn't real. It was a smile mixed with sadness.
A dull ache formed in my chest.
The emperor said nothing. He squeezed my hand once, gently—then turned and left.
His steps were heavy. Full of rage.
"His Majesty looks very angry," my maid murmured.
"He really does", I agreed.
Then I turned away. "Let's go."
I was ready to continue toward my room when my maid said quietly,
"I hope he doesn't punish anyone."
I froze.
When he's this angry, punishment always follows.
And he had ignored the eunuch the first time. The second interruption had pushed him over the edge.
Wait… no.
I was interrupted.
I turned around and started moving fast toward the court hall.
I remembered too well what happens when it involves me.
That servant who stopped me once—just doing his job. Even when I begged, even when the emperor agreed to let it go, he punished him afterwards anyway.
When it comes to me, he punishes.
For sure someone would be punished now.
When I reached the court hall, the servant who had delivered the message was standing outside.
"Why are you waiting here?" I asked, even though I already knew.
"His Majesty ordered me to wait," he replied.
If I told him to run, he'd probably be dragged back and executed.
I paced outside, waiting for the official to come out.
There was no shouting—but I knew that didn't mean anything.
When the official exited, the servant was summoned inside.
I didn't wait.
I rushed in without bowing, without protocol, and stood beside the emperor.
"You're going to punish him, aren't you?" I asked.
He ignored me.
He looked at the servant. Then at the eunuch.
The eunuch immediately stepped forward and knelt, apologising.
The servant looked utterly confused.
I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Your Majesty, they were just doing their jobs."
He glared at me—then turned back to them.
"What did I do wrong?" the servant asked.
Idiot. Shut up.
"What did you do wrong?" the emperor repeated with a dark chuckle.
He looked at the eunuch. "Tell him."
The eunuch swallowed. "You ruined His Majesty's time with Concubine Ji by rushing him here. No—we ruined it. And you interrupted Concubine Ji while speaking."
The servant stared at me, then at the emperor. "Your Majesty, the official said it was urgent."
"It's one thing to interrupt me," the emperor snapped, "but interrupting her was a grave mistake."
"He was doing his job," I said again. "Please, calm down."
Useless.
"Considering your position and your apology," the emperor said to the eunuch, "you'll receive ten strokes."
"I accept the punishment." The eunuch bowed. "Thank you, Your Majesty."
Thank you for what?!
"Ten?" I repeated quietly.
"Yes. He deserves it. And you", the emperor turned to the servant, "will receive forty."
"Your Majesty, please—" the servant begged.
"Forty is too much," I said. "Please reconsider."
"He deserves it."
I inhaled sharply.
I knew this would happen.
When it comes to me, he sees red.
"Then reduce it," I pleaded.
He hesitated.
"Fifteen", I said.
"Twenty."
"Sixteen."
"Twenty."
I closed my eyes. "Fine. Twenty."
"Begin after I leave with Concubine Ji," he ordered.
As we walked away, he held my hand.
Guilt crushed my chest.
But anger didn't come.
And that terrified me.