Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu were having the time of their lives driving the immortal-powered car.
Men are boys until the day they die — only the toys get more expensive with age. And for Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu, nothing beat the "immortal car," the greatest toy ever granted to their village.
Back in the village, they didn't dare go fast. At high speed they'd probably plow through chickens, fences, or Auntie Liu's laundry. But the moment they hit the official road, with thirty miles to go until Baijia Fort?
They went wild.
They pulled the sunshade all the way open, soaked up every drop of solar power, and floored it. The speed climbed to eighty kilometers an hour. If the heap of food they'd piled on the roof hadn't partially covered the solar panels, they might have even hit one hundred.
Ahead lay a small hill.
Anyone who knows how to drive understands: when you approach a crest, you slow down. The top blocks your view — you can't see what's on the other side. But these two idiots had never attended "Traffic Safety 101," nor possessed even the most basic instinct of survival. So they kept their speed maxed out. Charge first, think later.
The result?
The immortal car cleared the hill at eighty, and only then did the two idiots see what waited below.
The center of the official road…
was packed with people.
They tried to brake — way, way too late.
The Little Overlord rebel band was climbing the slope.
The sun was out. They were marching uphill.
The Little Overlord was even about to break into song:
"The sun is shining, I'm climbing the hill—"
He didn't finish.
Because from the woods beside the road came Inspector Cheng Xu's thunderous roar:
"Now!"
Dozens of soldiers burst out from both sides of the road.
Their equipment was far better than the rebels'. Dozens of bows drew back in unison, all aimed right at the rebels in the middle. Cheng Xu brandished a long sword dramatically and delivered his villain-killing one-liner:
"Little Overlord the bandit, your death anniversary shall be this day next year—"
He never finished either.
Because that was when the immortal car came roaring over the hilltop like a falling star.
Brush—!
The whole massive vehicle launched into view.
Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu both screamed at the top of their lungs:
"MOVE! MOVE!! We can't stop!!!"
No one reacted in time.
At eighty kilometers per hour?
Who could?
Rebels or soldiers — every single person froze.
The car plowed into the rebel formation like a divine hammer. Bodies flew. Screams scattered.
The Little Overlord himself didn't even get a final threat out. He was hit head-on and dropped instantly, not even a grunt escaping his lips.
His personal guards were launched in a beautiful fan-shaped arc into the sky.
The soldiers on both sides of the road sucked in a collective breath.
Thank heaven I didn't step forward. I'd be airborne too.
Zheng Daniu wailed, "We're dead! We killed someone!"
Gao Chuwu shouted, "What do we do?! Stop the car?!"
"Are you crazy?!" Zheng Daniu yelled. "The victims' families will beat us to death! RUN!"
"But that feels wrong!"
"Wrong is still better than DEAD! We run now and come back later with apology money!"
So the two idiots refused to stop, blasted through the remaining rebels, and sped toward Baijia Fort.
Traffic manslaughter plus fleeing the scene — how many years is that?
No one bothered to think about it.
Both rebels and soldiers were in total shock, their brains incapable of processing events. The archers forgot to release their arrows entirely.
After several seconds of stunned silence, Cheng Xu snapped:
"What are you all staring at?! The bandit chief is dead! Take down the rest!"
The soldiers jolted awake, released their arrows, and shot rebels left and right.
Moments later, the Little Overlord rebellion was completely suppressed.
Only then, once the field was clean, did Cheng Xu turn toward the direction the bizarre vehicle had vanished.
"That was no mortal machine… Could it be a heaven-sent artifact to aid me in slaying bandits?"
Meanwhile, Baijia Fort bustled with renewed life.
Under Bai Yuan's command, the fort had undergone major repairs. The walls weren't as tall as those of Gaojia Fort, but he'd imitated their design, building corner towers and carving proper battlements along the parapets.
The Bai clan had money. Materials weren't a problem.
Food was.
Food, in these troubled times, was the one thing money couldn't buy.
Bai Yuan was debating whether he should swallow his pride and ask Gaojia Village for help when a servant burst in:
"Master! Master! A strange giant vehicle just pulled into the village! The drivers are from Gaojia Village!"
Bai Yuan brightened instantly and hurried outside.
"You are… Gao Yi? Gao Er? Gao San?"
Gao Chuwu wore a miserably twisted face. "Master Bai… I'm Gao Chuwu."
"Ah! Yes yes yes, Gao Chuwu. Of course I remember."
He had definitely heard this conversation somewhere before.
Bai Yuan frowned. "Why do you look like an old granny about to cry?"
Gao Chuwu nearly broke down. "We… we killed people on the road here."
Bai Yuan's eyes shifted to the bizarre vehicle. The front beam was dented, stained with blood and scraps of rough cloth. Definitely more than one victim.
He picked up a piece of torn cloth, examined it, and then relaxed.
"Don't worry. In these chaotic times, who but bandits wander the roads? Judging by the cloth, they were a gang of rebels. Bandits, all of them."
Hearing this, the two idiots instantly felt better. They were simple-minded and overly trusting — especially of someone like Bai Yuan, a well-read gentleman. One sentence from him easily became absolute truth in their heads.
Gao Chuwu grinned. "Ah, that's good then! Killing bandits is fine!"
Zheng Daniu added, "Master Bai, we were sent by Dao Xuan Tianzun to deliver food."
Bai Yuan's joy burst out. "Dao Xuan Tianzun is truly benevolent."
The two idiots unloaded sacks of rice, flour, salt, and sugar — exactly what Bai Yuan desperately needed. He gratefully bowed toward the direction of Gaojia Village.
"Dao Xuan Tianzun still remembers this insignificant mortal. His grace is beyond measure."
Only after giving thanks did his attention shift to the massive vehicle.
"What is this thing?"
Now the idiots perked up proudly.
Gao Chuwu puffed out his chest. "This is the immortal car bestowed upon us by Dao Xuan Tianzun. It runs whenever the sun is out. Once the sun sets, it stops."
Bai Yuan froze.
"Runs at sunrise… stops at sunset? Then… could this be… the vehicle of the Mao-Ri Star Officer?!"