Five days later!
At the crack of dawn, Li Daoxuan was already awake.
Ever since he got the scenic habitat box, his sleep schedule had slowly drifted toward ancient-laborer mode—rise at sunrise, collapse at sunset… well, in theory. In practice, he still stayed up until midnight like any modern degenerate. Even when his body begged for sleep, his mind insisted, "Just two more minutes on my phone." Even when his mind gave up, his fingers kept scrolling like possessed worms.
Still, no matter how late he slept, the moment sunlight hit the window, his biological alarm clock booted him out of bed.
He ordered a pumpkin porridge delivery, cradled the steaming bowl, and huffed to cool it.
That was the moment Bai Yuan arrived.
Riding a fine stallion, followed by several retainers, he approached Gaojia Village with dramatic flair. Before even entering, he performed a sweeping ceremonial bow from horseback toward the sky above the village—paying homage to Dao Xuan Tianzun.
When it came to the gentlemanly Six Arts, Bai Yuan took "ritual propriety" very seriously.
The sentry on the watchtower shouted, "Master Bai is here!"
Instantly, Shansier, Yiye, Madam Bai, Young Master Bai, and others hurried out to greet him. Even Gao Chuwu, Zheng Daniu, Li Da, and Gao Yiyi came to say hello.
Seeing Bai Yuan safe and whole, everyone relaxed.
Bai Yuan cupped his fists grandly. "Greetings, everyone. I've come today to deliver good news—and to give thanks to Tianzun."
Yiye smiled. "Tianzun has already received your gratitude."
Bai Yuan bowed again with great drama.
Shansier asked, "Master Bai, what if bandits attack Bai Family Fort while you're here?"
Bai Yuan laughed. "Rest easy! Those thieves were scared witless by Tianzun's celestial missiles. They no longer dare approach. Cheng Xu sent scouts—they confirmed the bandits fled down another slope entirely."
Everyone finally exhaled.
Bai Yuan then turned to Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu. "You two can head back to Bai Family Fort to retrieve the celestial missile."
Both muscle-heads answered in unison, "Right!"
He then turned to Madam Bai and her son. "You may return with me."
Madam Bai brightened. "Wonderful, I'll pack at once."
Young Master Bai, however, said, "Father, I want to stay at Gaojia Village."
Slap! Madam Bai flicked a palm across his cheek. "Trying to escape your mother supervising your studies, are you?"
Young Master Bai covered his face. "Mother… I've been learning an immortal language here. It's called 'Hanyu Pinyin.' This is a deep, profound art personally taught by Tianzun. I cannot leave until I master it."
Madam Bai immediately hid her offending hand. "Oh… in that case… ahem… mother may have… overreacted."
She was vaguely trying to apologize.
Bai Yuan didn't even have to think. "If it is a divine language taught by Tianzun, then of course you must finish it. Stay. Your mother can return."
Madam Bai panicked. "He's only thirteen! How can I leave him alone?!"
Bai Yuan said, "Tianzun protects this place. What is there to worry about?"
Madam Bai declared, "I am worried. So I won't leave. I'll stay here to care for him!"
Bai Yuan: "…."
Young Master Bai whispered, "Mother… maybe you should return. I can—"
Slap! Another motherly thunderclap. "You want to drive me away?! Do you not want this mother anymore?!"
Everyone collectively broke into cold sweat.
Given how often she slaps him, who WOULDN'T want to send her away?
Li Daoxuan glanced at Bai Yuan.
This guy was way too quick to dump his wife here earlier… as expected…
Bai Yuan answered without hesitation, "Yes, yes, wife staying here is excellent. Absolutely. I have no objections."
Li Daoxuan nearly choked.
Knew it!
Bai Yuan waved to a servant, who brought forth a small clay wine jar. "To celebrate Bai Family Fort's great victory over the bandits, I brought wine! Today, let's drink until none of us can stand!"
Everyone cheered.
Gao Chuwu frowned at the small jar. "It's tiny… barely enough for a few sips."
Zheng Daniu nodded. "Yeah! I can drink half that jar in one gulp."
Bai Yuan coughed awkwardly. "There's been drought for three years. We haven't brewed wine in all that time. This jar was brewed five years ago and forgotten under the garden rockery. I dug it up only when moving the celestial missile."
He gave a sad sigh. "In times like these, a taste of wine is a luxury. There's only this one jar—please make do."
Li Daoxuan listened, and only then remembered—right, the drought. Grain shortages meant no wine brewing. For these people, wine wasn't just drink—it was celebration, relief, proof that life still had sweetness.
Alright. He'd give them a little treat.
Li Daoxuan went downstairs and into the convenience store.
Nothing fancy—just cheap everyday alcohol. He didn't drink himself, so he had no clue what was good, so he picked a famous brand: Wuliangye, 52 percent, a hundred and twenty yuan. Then, worried it might be too strong, added a bottle of Shuangqing beer.
He returned to the box grinning.
By now, the villagers had set up a table in the courtyard. The one small jar of wine could only be shared by a few people—they all felt guilty about excluding the rest.
Yiye suddenly brightened. "Prepare your bowls! Tianzun says he will bestow heavenly wine!"
Zheng Daniu, the seasoned veteran of divine beverage distribution, reacted instantly. Faster than thought. He sprinted home, sprinted back, and returned holding a massive wooden washbasin like a sacred artifact.
Everyone then watched as a mysterious tube descended from the sky, hovering above Zheng Daniu's basin.
A gentle squeeze.
A single crystal-clear drop fell—
SPLASH!
—instantly filling the entire basin.
The fragrance billowed through the courtyard.
Wuliangye did not mess around.
Bai Yuan's brows rose. "That… is good wine."
Shansier inhaled. "Extraordinarily fragrant."
The villagers, raised in poverty, couldn't judge good wine if it hit them in the face.
Gao Chuwu grinned. "Heh! Divine wine! I'll drink first!"
He scooped a full bowl from Zheng Daniu's basin and poured it into his mouth—
Footnotes
Ancient sleep vs. modern doomscrolling – Historical farmers slept at sunset because they had no electricity. Modern people have the opposite problem: too much electricity, not enough self-control.
Ritual propriety – One of the Six Arts of a true gentleman: rites, music, archery, charioteering, calligraphy, and mathematics. Bai Yuan is basically a cosplay champion of ancient etiquette.
Drought and wine scarcity – In real agrarian societies, brewing wine meant sacrificing grain. During famine years, brewing was often legally restricted. So yes, a tiny jar was a big deal.
Divine beverages – If an immortal suddenly squeezed Wuliangye from the sky into your washbasin, you too would call it "heavenly wine" and fight your neighbors for a sip.
Maternal slaps – Madam Bai's hand speed is historically accurate. East Asian mothers possess the mystical ability to deliver moral instruction and physical correction simultaneously.