Cheng Xu stared at the two massive characters floating in the sky, completely dumbfounded.
It took him several long seconds before his soul returned to his body. Then he grabbed Shansier by the shoulders and shook him wildly.
"What was that? What in the world was that?!"
Shansier replied calmly:
"That is Dao Xuan Tianzun, the immortal who protects our village. He's the one who saved your life, and he's also the one who guided you here."
"A… an immortal?" Cheng Xu was shocked to the core.
Thinking back to the previous day — that valley battlefield where he'd been fighting the Jin Yiwei, the sudden landslide, the sky collapsing in a storm of mud and stone — it was true that without divine intervention, he should have been paste on a mountain wall.
With that realization, he looked again at the glowing sky-script and found himself… believing a little.
Quietly, he muttered,
"So that's how it is… so that's how it is…"
Shansier asked,
"You understand now?"
"Yes! I understand everything!" Cheng Xu declared solemnly.
"Gaojia Village… ghosts by night, gods by day."
Pffft.
There was simply no reasoning with this man.
Shansier sighed,
"Cheng Junjun, when do you think we should begin building the village militia?"
Cheng Xu considered it.
"The entire Shaanxi region is a flaming mess right now. Rebels everywhere, chaos everywhere. When it comes to organizing a militia, sooner is better. Let's start today. Got a cloth? I'll cover my face."
Shansier brought him a cloth. Cheng Xu tied it around his head, then turned to Gao Chuwu.
"Idiot, follow me."
Gao Chuwu blinked.
"How did you know my nickname is Idiot?"
Cheng Xu glanced sideways at Shansier.
"You really want me to teach this kind of creature martial arts? I'm going to die of high blood pressure."
Shansier shrugged.
"Dao Xuan Tianzun has spoken. You figure it out."
Cheng Xu sighed.
"Fine. And you—stop calling me Cheng Junjun in public. If rumors spread, the Jin Yiwei will surround this place faster than I can sneeze. Call me He Jiu."
"Very well," Shansier said lightly. "From today onward, you're the Gaojia Village militia instructor. I'll call you Instructor He."
Cheng Xu:
"Let's go meet this so-called militia of yours."
Shansier spread his hands.
"We don't have a militia yet."
Cheng Xu:
"… …"
Shansier:
"That's why we asked you to come."
Cheng Xu nearly choked.
Fine. He had experience starting from nothing anyway. When he'd first arrived in Chengcheng County as a newbie inspector, he'd found a hundred half-frozen, half-farmed idiots digging dirt instead of training. He'd molded them into real soldiers. He could do it again.
"Gao Chuwu! From now on, you're my deputy."
Gao Chuwu beamed.
"Yes, Instructor He!"
"Take me around the village. I want to inspect all the young men."
"Right! Let's visit my good friend Zheng Daniu first. He's tall and strong, just like me."
The moment Cheng Xu heard it, he felt a bad omen.
"He isn't also an idiot, is he?"
Gao Chuwu froze.
"How did you know again?!"
Cheng Xu slapped a hand over his face.
"Wonderful. There are two such creatures. If I have to deal with these two hun-hei generals every day, I'll meet my ancestors twenty years early."
Shansier burst out laughing.
Gao Chuwu led Cheng Xu and Shansier around the village, gathering people as they walked. Before long, forty-six able-bodied young men stood assembled. These were all the village natives plus the earliest refugees who'd settled here.
Cheng Xu looked over the group.
A bit on the small side, but workable. Enough to form a core.
"What equipment do you have?" Cheng Xu asked. "Go home, bring your weapons. I want to see how many bows, how many sabers, how many spears you lot actually have."
"Yes sir!"
They scattered, then returned… and Cheng Xu's jaw dropped to the ground.
Out of forty-six men, more than a dozen were wearing padded armor, and two wore iron-plated brigandine.
Cheng Xu pointed at them, voice trembling.
"A tiny village like yours has… over ten suits of armor? Do you not want to keep your heads on your shoulders?!"
Gao Chuwu grinned.
"That's not even all. There are more armors in the forge. Since we're not fighting right now, we didn't distribute them."
"…"
This village's mindset was truly terrifying.
Cheng Xu, feeling pressure rise to the heavens, asked cautiously,
"And your weapons? Why bring armor but no weapons?"
Zheng Daniu spoke proudly:
"I have an axe! But my father borrowed it to chop wood."
Gao Chuwu:
"I also have an axe! My father borrowed it to chop wood."
Another young man:
"I have a machete! My dad borrowed it… to chop wood."
Another:
"I have a butcher's knife. My wife borrowed it—"
Cheng Xu narrowed his eyes.
"Let me guess… chopping wood?"
"No, chopping meat."
Cheng Xu clutched his skull.
"Ahhhh! Stop talking! All of you shut up! One more word and I start punching!"
Everyone shut up instantly, not knowing how they had offended the terrifying Instructor He.
Cheng Xu raised both palms, fingers splayed.
"You people have piles of armor, yet not a single proper weapon? Not one real saber? Not one iron spear?!"
Gao Chuwu raised a hand weakly.
"We were waiting for Li the Blacksmith to finish the fire-guns. Once he makes them, we'll all use fire-guns. But… he's slow. Really slow. Months have passed. There isn't even a shadow of a fire-gun yet."
At that moment, Cheng Xu felt his lifespan shortening tangibly.
"You're a tiny countryside village with NO proper weapons, NO standard blades, NO spears, but instead you made ARMOR first, then jumped straight to FIREARMS?!"
He nearly hopped with fury.
"Private armor is already a treason charge! Private firearms is also a treason charge! You skipped the entire legal part and sprinted straight to DOUBLE-TREASON?!"
Up in the sky, Li Daoxuan burst into laughter.
Being scolded by an actual military professional was… surprisingly refreshing.
Truth be told, none of this was the villagers' fault. The blame sat squarely on him, the heavenly cheat-code–dispensing babysitter. He'd wanted to protect them, so he prioritized armor. And whenever a fight happened, he'd open his magical cheat menu and shield them from danger, so weapons hadn't seemed urgent.
But thinking about it…
Even in StarCraft, you don't rush straight to carriers without building any basic units.
Being scolded like this was deserved.
Footnotes
Fire-guns: Early Ming-style matchlock prototypes. Historically unreliable, expensive, and definitely illegal for private citizens to manufacture.
Armor first, weapons later: A reversed and extremely questionable order of military preparation. Even peasants knew to start with sticks and knives.
Double treason: In Ming legal codes, illegal armor and illegal firearms each constituted separate capital crimes. Combining them would earn you a high-score execution.